FabSwingers.com forum: Corrupt a Nursery Rhyme

By *allMeLex OP Man
over a year ago

Southampton

The aim of the game is simple. Take a nursery rhyme, and corrupt it.

Here's one to start things off

Old Mother Hubbard

Went to the cupboard

to fetch her poor dog a bone.

When she bent over

Up jumped Rover,

And gave her a bone of his own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mary had a little lamb,the midwife was surprised!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey diddle diddle the dog had a poo allover somebodies bed the little cat laughed to see such fun so the dog had a shit on his head

Have that cat peoples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mary had a little lamb she also had a duck

She put them on the windowsill

To see if they would fuck

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By *iss KinkWoman
over a year ago

North/Blackpool

Little boy blue come blow your horn the sheeps in the meadow the cows in the corn when is the boy who looks after the sheep. He’s in the haystack with little bow peep

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By *ittle-Miss-Cunty-1Woman
over a year ago

Your basement, Cuntsville

Mary had a little lamb

Her father shot it dead.

Now it goes to school with her,

between two chunks of bread

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By *iss KinkWoman
over a year ago

North/Blackpool

Little jack horner sat in a corner eating his blue berry pie. He didn’t look at the pretty girls but winked when the boys went by

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mary had a little lamb

Her father shot it dead.

Now it goes to school with her,

between two chunks of bread"

Aww poor Lamb

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By *ldbutrandyMan
over a year ago

West Midlands

"Little jack horner sat in a corner eating his blue berry pie. He didn’t look at the pretty girls but winked when the boys went by "

You beat me to a jack horner re-write

Little Jack horner sat in a corner

And played with his cock till it cum

He was still randy

And thought this is quite handy

And then stuck his thumb up his bum

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By *allMeLex OP Man
over a year ago

Southampton

Mary had a little watch

she swallowed it one day

and so she took some Epsom salts

to pass the time away

But though she tried, and tried, and tried

she couldn't make time pass

So if you want to know the time

just look up Mary's ass

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get the postman a letter

When she got there the cupboard was bare so they had it without..it was better

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By *ittle-Miss-Cunty-1Woman
over a year ago

Your basement, Cuntsville

Jack And Jill Went up the hill, So Jack could lick Jills fanny, all Jack got was a mouth full of cock Cause Jills real name is Danny.

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By *allMeLex OP Man
over a year ago

Southampton

Actually made me lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jack And Jill Went up the hill, So Jack could lick Jills fanny, all Jack got was a mouth full of cock Cause Jills real name is Danny."

Winner lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Humpty Dumpty sat on a face

Humpty Dumpty rimmed with such grace

Started to splutter and started to crack

Exploded his yoke all over her back

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By *handlerMonicaCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

Mary had a little dress

Split right up the side

Every time she wore it

The boys could see her thighs

Mary had another dress

Split right up the front

But she didn't wear that one

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By *elshcouple18Couple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Baa baa black sheep have you any wool?

Fuck off you prick, it's winter!! Go buy your own coat..

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By *red333Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

Mary had a little lamb

It's fleece was white and rough

She took it down the garden path

And fu*"Ed it in the muff

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By *estmids71Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Mary had a little lamb

It lept around in hops

It jumped into a road one day

And finished up as chops

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By *allMeLex OP Man
over a year ago

Southampton

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.

kissed the girls and made them cry.

When the boys came out to play,

He kissed them too...cause he swings that way!

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By *irBummyFingerMan
over a year ago

Carmarthen

Little bow peep fucked a sheep blew a horse, licked his feet, she ate his ass so very nice tongued his balls not once but twice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey diddle diddle!

The wife did a piddle,

All over the kitchen floor.

The sub licked it up,

Then drank his own cum,

And the estate agent kicked them out of the open house viewing.

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By *red333Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

Little miss muffet sat on a tuffet

Eating her curds and way

When along came a perve who sat down beside her

And frightened miss muffet away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Little Miss muffet sat on her tuffet having a crafty play when down came a spider sat down beside her and wanked whilst she played.

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By *ocopops1962Man
over a year ago

Glasgow / Lindon

"Mary had a little dress

Split right up the side

Every time she wore it

The boys could see her thighs

Mary had another dress

Split right up the front

But she didn't wear that one"

That is good !

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By *wingin CatMan
over a year ago

London

"Hey diddle diddle the dog had a poo allover somebodies bed the little cat laughed to see such fun so the dog had a shit on his head

Have that cat peoples

Hey Diddle Diddle,

The cat did a piddle,

All over the kitchen mat.

The little dog laughed to see such fun,

And he piddled all over the cat!

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By *wingin CatMan
over a year ago

London

The Grand old Duke of York,

He had ten-thousand men.

If he had the energy

He'd have had them all again.

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By *ittle-Miss-Cunty-1Woman
over a year ago

Your basement, Cuntsville

Little Miss Muffet

Sat on a tuffet

A lightbulb was stuck up her ass.

It woke up the spider

Who lived deep inside her.

He said "Hey, free electric and gas."

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Hairy Mary quite contrary how does your garden grow with cocks galore and pretty virgins in a row!x

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By *asilyled1Man
over a year ago

ogmore valley

Little bo peep

Lost her sheep

It’s in my bedroom

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

these are funny

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

The grand old Duke of York.

Ate pizza, he was sweaty.

He then got outed as a nonce.

And had to crawl to Betty.

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By *red333Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

Old mother hubberd

Went to her cupboard

To give her hubby the bone

She gave it a shake

She asked if he'd take her

But he said that's all I'm done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Grand Old Duke of York

He had ten thousand men

He also had some little girls

But "One does not remember them"

He told the BBC

That "One no longer sweats"

But his late mam gave 12 million quid

To a girl he's "never met"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ding dong Bell,

Pussy's in the well,

How can you tell?

By the bloody awful smell.

Who pulled her out?

Little Jonny Stout,

Took a sniff and then

Chucked her back again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jack and Jill went up the hill for some hanky panky.

Silly jill forgot her pill and now there’s little Frankie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hickory Dickory Dock

Three mice ran up the clock

The clock struck one

The other two escaped with minor injuries.

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

If you go down to the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise.

Because mum and dad are having a shag and uncle Frank is having a wank and auntie Flo is having a go with grandad.

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By *red333Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

Jack and Jill went up a hill

Jill fell down

And Jack licked her

They both cum tumbling with laughter

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

If you go down in the woods today you’re in for a big surprise,

If you go down in the woods today you’d better close your eyes,

Cos Mam and dad are having a shag,

And uncle Bob is rubbing his knob,

And Aunty Flo is giving a blow to Graaaaaandad!

I was a very disturbed child!

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By *red333Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"If you go down in the woods today you’re in for a big surprise,

If you go down in the woods today you’d better close your eyes,

Cos Mam and dad are having a shag,

And uncle Bob is rubbing his knob,

And Aunty Flo is giving a blow to Graaaaaandad!

I was a very disturbed child!"
lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Peter Piper met a bi man going to the fair.

Said Peter Piper to the bi man "no put it in there..."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've noticed the rudest ones so far are all posted by women...saucy ladies

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

mary had a little skirt was slit right up the side

when the boys came out to play they could see her thighs

judy had a little skirt it slit right up the front

she got suspended for being a slut !

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By *lfasoCouple
over a year ago

South East

Mary had a little lamb

She also had a bear

I've often seen her little lamb

But I'd love to see her bare

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall

Humpty Dumpty had great fall

All the kings horses and all the kings men fucked off

Went got twatted

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

This little pig went to market

This little pig stayed home

This little pig ate roast beef

This little pig had his dick sucked..

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

London Bridge is falling down

Falling down, falling down

London Bridge is falling down

My bare lady…

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

Baa, baa, black sheep,

Have you seen my tool?

Yes, sir, yes, sir,

Two balls full;

One for the master,

And for his dame,

And one for the big boy

Who lives down the lane.

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By *weetkitten65Woman
over a year ago

Halifax

"The aim of the game is simple. Take a nursery rhyme, and corrupt it.

Here's one to start things off

Old Mother Hubbard

Went to the cupboard

to fetch her poor dog a bone.

When she bent over

Up jumped Rover,

And gave her a bone of his own."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mary had a little lamb

It was a little runt

she took a red hot poker

and stuffed it up it's...... nose

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, her knickers all tattered and torn.

It wasn't the spider who sat down beside her, it was Little Boy Blue with the horn.

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

Cock a doodle doo!

My dame is on the loo,

My master's fiddling his stick

And doesn't know what to do

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

Goosey goosey gander,

Whither shall I wander?

Upstairs and downstairs

And in my lady's chamber.

There I met an old man

Who wouldn't say his prayers,

So I took him by his left leg

And rodgered him on the stairs

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?

"Fuck off, nosey sod".

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Jack be nimble

Jack be quick

But, too much Jack Daniels

Can make you sick

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By *ittlemissmistressKCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

Mary had a little lamb

She tied it to a pylon

40,000 volts went up it's arse

And turned it's wool to nylon

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By *asilyled1Man
over a year ago

ogmore valley

Humpty dumpty sat on a wall

Til someone shouted ‘Oi get off my wall egghead I’ve just painted that!’

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By *rying2niteMan
over a year ago

Egremont

Little miss muffet sat on a tuffet, knickers all tattered and torn,

It wasn't a spider who sat down beside her, it was little boy blue with the horn

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

Jack be nimble

Jack be quick

But Jill preferred the candle stick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sing a song of sixpence

With knickers full of cum

Must have had some anal

And splashed it on her bum

When her cuckold cleaned it

His face just looked the same

Now sit down there you filthy cunt

So I can do it all again

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

Doctor Foster went to Gloucester,

In a shower of rain;

He stepped in a puddle,

Right up to his middle,

And was soaked to his bollocks again.

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By *uck-RogersMan
over a year ago

Tarka trail

Old Mac Donald had a farm, Ee i ee i oh.

And on this farm he had a pig ee i ee i oh. He made it squeal here, He made it squeal there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you do if you can't find a loo

In an English country garden?

Find a spot in the sun to do a number one

In an English country garden

So pull down your pants and piss on all the plants

In an English country garden

Poo behind a log and blame it on the dog

In an English country garden

Pull off a leaf and wipe it underneath

In an English country garden

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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

There was an old lady who swallowed a cock, I was in shock! She swallowed a cock! Perhaps she'll die?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mary had a little lamb,

She tied it to a pylon,

10,000 volts went up it's bum

And turned it's wool to nylon.

Jack and Jill

Went up the hill

To fetch a pail of water

I don't know what they did up there

But now they have a daughter

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Old King Cole was a merry old soul and a merry old soul was he

He called for his pipe and he called for his bowl

I guess we all know about old King Cole

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By *ldbutrandyMan
over a year ago

West Midlands

"Hey diddle diddle!

The wife did a piddle,

All over the kitchen floor.

The sub licked it up,

Then drank his own cum,

And the estate agent kicked them out of the open house viewing."

Is this a true story ? It sounds likely in Brum

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By *reamers13Couple
over a year ago

Lancashire

"Mary had a little dress

Split right up the side

Every time she wore it

The boys could see her thighs

Mary had another dress

Split right up the front

But she didn't wear that one"

love it

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By *lecom1Couple
over a year ago

Stornoway

"Little boy blue come blow your horn the sheeps in the meadow the cows in the corn when is the boy who looks after the sheep. He’s in the haystack with little bow peep "

Little miss muffet

Sat on her tuffet

Her knickers all tattered and torn

It wasn't a spider that sat down beside her

It was little boy blue with the horn

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By *red333Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

Jack be nimble

Jack be quick

Jack jumped molly

She was thick

Jack was humping

While she was jumping

Jack knows all the tricks

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By *ostAirmenMan
over a year ago

crewe

There was an old man from Brazil

Who ate a dynamite pill

His heart retired

And his bum back fired

And his nob shot over a hill

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

humpty dumpty sat on a wall

humpty dumpty had agreat fall

all the kings whores and all the kings men

had eggs for breakfast and sex again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary How does your garden grow! With LSD and ecstasy and whiz as white as snow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jack and Jill went up the hill so jack could lick jills fanny. Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because jills a fucking tranny.

Hope this doesn’t get me a ban

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sing a song of sixpence

An Arse full of cum

4 and 20 black cocks forced up your bum.

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By *oalie66Man
over a year ago

Chesterfield

Mary had a little pig,

She couldn't stop it grunting,

She took it down the garden path,

And kicked its little cnut in.

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

mary had a little lamb

she now signs the sex offenders register for bestiality

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Humpty dumpty had a great shock

When he finally sat on a cock

All the kings horses and all the kings men

Couldn't put his anus back together again

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By *wingin CatMan
over a year ago

London

If you go down to the woods today you're sure of a big surprise,

For Aunt Matilda has got her hand in Uncle George's flies....

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By *allMeLex OP Man
over a year ago

Southampton

Ahaha. So glad I made this post, given me a proper chuckle this morning. You guys are great :D

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By *r G and Lizzy BCouple
over a year ago

Burton-upon-Trent

"Jack And Jill Went up the hill, So Jack could lick Jills fanny, all Jack got was a mouth full of cock Cause Jills real name is Danny."

A different variant ...

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's fanny

When they got to the top

Jack had a shock

Cus Jill was a fucking tranny.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

Twinkle Twinkle little cock

We do not point , we do not mock

Just a tickle on your balls

Makes you grow and stand up tall

Twinkle Twinkle massive dong

Never seen one quite so long!

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By *illingdon_ladMan
over a year ago

Bicester

Mary had a little lamb

She took it to a wedding

Pinned it up against the wall

And kicked it's little head in.

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By *illingdon_ladMan
over a year ago

Bicester

Little miss muffet

Sat on her tuffet

With a dildo the size of her arm

Along came a n@@@@r

Who's cock was much bigger

And done her some permanent harm

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,

Her clothes all tattered and torn.

It wasn't the spider

That crept up beside her,

But Little Boy Blue and his horn.

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

Hickory dickory dock.

The bitch sat on my cock.

The clock struck two

I shot some goo

And kicked the bitch up the block

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