FabSwingers.com forum: Big yourself up

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Right Ladies&Gents it's time to sell yourself so to speak

Why should people meet you?

I will start

Me I'm friendly ,OK looking,easy to get along with, ,great company and if nothing else I will atleast make you smile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As yoda said

Try not

Do or do not

There is no try

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have boobs and a vagina.

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

Because I need someone to offer as a sacrifice to the pagan gods so they bless us with a mild winter.

It'll be fun, you get a white dress and a crown of flowers.

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

Fat ugly smelly and skint I’m hoping for the sympathy vote/shag

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

We are fantastic company, enjoy having a laugh and when it’s comes to sex, we’ll do everything to blow your mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been told I have a "magnificent cock". Oh and I'm pretty good at oral

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They shouldn’t. I’m a pain in the arse

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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

I love to give pleasure and told im good at it, i could cook you anything and take pics for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I'm a delight

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Not a fucking clue I'm just me

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

Because above all else, we’re really nice people!! I know this sounds a bit wet but I’m comfortable with it

Oh yeah…. I’ll ride you like Seabiscuit

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By *rsmith21zMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

I'm easy going and up for banter

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

I have a load of computer parts ready for system assembly and can impress you with my benchmarking skills.

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By *ose and her beastCouple
over a year ago

Watford

Fun entertaining more than just sex xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They shouldn’t. I’m a pain in the arse "

Aye but you're funny with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Soooo

I'm a good cook

I'm actually quite funny

I have nice eyes, nice toes, good teeth

I'm decent in bed

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By *allMeLexMan
over a year ago

Southampton

OK looking, kinky, funny, dominant, experienced, successful and haven't failed to make a woman squirt yet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Alright here goes you asked for it!

Firstly, the pictures. I mean c'mon. Even most of the lads are like, ooh that looks like a delightful body. Guess I wouldn't mind seeing that on my wife/gf thrashing away like a sealion on acid.

Then there's the face. Some of you have seen it, you know its not bad!

Next up, chat? Golly do I need to say anything on this now? I actually do have an off switch too so don't worry I'm only annoying like this in the forums. And I can sext like a god damn pro.

So you get all of that, plus a finely groomed shnack of a penis and laughter. Shit now I wanna meet up with myself...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Soooo

I'm a good cook

I'm actually quite funny

I have nice eyes, nice toes, good teeth

I'm decent in bed

Nice toes? Evidence needed!

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By *hubbycheckerMan
over a year ago

Porstmouth

I can reverse park 1st time haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Alright here goes you asked for it!

Firstly, the pictures. I mean c'mon. Even most of the lads are like, ooh that looks like a delightful body. Guess I wouldn't mind seeing that on my wife/gf thrashing away like a sealion on acid.

Then there's the face. Some of you have seen it, you know its not bad!

Next up, chat? Golly do I need to say anything on this now? I actually do have an off switch too so don't worry I'm only annoying like this in the forums. And I can sext like a god damn pro.

So you get all of that, plus a finely groomed shnack of a penis and laughter. Shit now I wanna meet up with myself..."

Sold

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Soooo

I'm a good cook

I'm actually quite funny

I have nice eyes, nice toes, good teeth

I'm decent in bed

Nice toes? Evidence needed!"

OK ??

I'll send proof to your inbox

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Between us we can burp the national anthem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tbh probly shouldnt im more addictive than sugar and that could be a dangerous its a bunch of massive uncontrollable highs with risky side effects most common of which is a lifetime of insanity

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Because we have good cop bad cop down to a tee!

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By *ull English with teaMan
over a year ago

London

I’ll treat you to a slap up ruby at the Bengal Palace, unlimited popadoms included….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We think we're fun, non-pushy couple who just like added fun.

And we have a great sense of humour.... we think!

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

"Because I'm a delight

Afternoon?

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By *s2pervsCouple
over a year ago

Truro

...because we're alright really. X

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Hi, I'm Tina Titz and I come with jelly babies

And that doesn't at all sound like a very specific and wrong fetish.

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By *atsswallowsMan
over a year ago

dudley

If nothing else you are gonna have a laugh, that is more important than anything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I’m just fabulous and suck like a hoover.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because I’m just fabulous and suck like a hoover.

"
dyson alert awoooooga awoooooooga

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I fart in bed

I have small cock

I have personality

I am fun to be with

To kinky for some

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blue eyed brunette eager to please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Blue eyed brunette eager to please

x "
bring me a hot water bottle and your tits pleas3

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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago

Boo's World

I have a sense of humour

I have huge boobs

A smackable arse

Not bad looking

And I drive a nice car with bum warming seats...

What more you need

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im hilarious! So if you’re ever in the mood to just laugh I’m great at that!

I forget whose round it is so I’ll probably just buy all of the drinks! So people would save a lot of money there.

I also actually wear clothes when I’m outside. Shocking I know. But it happens

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By *ldbutrandyMan
over a year ago

West Midlands

Because if I start something I always........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can count up to 12

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

I know how to properly escape from a stampede of cows in a field

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By *ldbutrandyMan
over a year ago

West Midlands

"I know how to properly escape from a stampede of cows in a field"

I have to ask !

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

"I know how to properly escape from a stampede of cows in a field"

Have your slower friend wear red?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because I’m just fabulous and suck like a hoover.

Will have to put that to the test...

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

I shower at least twice a year and on at least one of those occasions I get out of the shower to pee.

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By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Nothing I say should convince you.

Meet me in the clubs, test drive the goods, then decide if it was worth it.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

I’m funny, good kisser and would take you out for steak

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because I’m just fabulous and suck like a hoover.

Why not just use the hoover?

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By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"Because I’m just fabulous and suck like a hoover.

Why not just use the hoover?"

A hoover doesn't have a tongue that licks your balls when you push your cock all the way in.

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

"I know how to properly escape from a stampede of cows in a field

I have to ask !"

You don't want to know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Little bit sarcastic

Good sense of humour

And if you don’t know how to use a condom , no worries I can put one on using my mouth

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By *uietly_KinkyMan
over a year ago

High Wycombe

Don't. Run away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will make you laugh and have a nice dog.

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

'Big yourself up'

I'm big when I'm up you!

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"They shouldn’t. I’m a pain in the arse "

Haha. Me too

I’ll break your vagina and then your heart - best avoid.

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By *aiseiMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

I’m vaguely tolerable in person.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"I will make you laugh and have a nice dog. "

I have a nice dog too

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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

I am a fun guy with a 6pack and with the love of the haribos, my favorite haribos are the gummy bears

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

Let's meet in Paris

because that's how i roll

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By *lark_KentMan
over a year ago

Northampton

I can make a nice cup of tea and have lots of buiscuits. What more could someone ask for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have boobs and a vagina."

I'm in

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By *humper.Man
over a year ago

northumberland/scotland

"Little bit sarcastic

Good sense of humour

And if you don’t know how to use a condom , no worries I can put one on using my mouth

SOLD!

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By *humper.Man
over a year ago

northumberland/scotland

I'll sort out your houseplants while I'm there and give you a quote for decorating.

Other than that, really wouldn't bother

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They shouldn’t. I’m a pain in the arse

Haha. Me too

I’ll break your vagina and then your heart - best avoid."

My brother from another mother

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Little bit sarcastic

Good sense of humour

And if you don’t know how to use a condom , no worries I can put one on using my mouth

Can you put 70 condoms on me please?

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By *humper.Man
over a year ago

northumberland/scotland

"Little bit sarcastic

Good sense of humour

And if you don’t know how to use a condom , no worries I can put one on using my mouth

Can you put 70 condoms on me please?"

Oooshya. Is it still THAT itchy?

(That's for not letting me have a biscuit!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Little bit sarcastic

Good sense of humour

And if you don’t know how to use a condom , no worries I can put one on using my mouth

Can you put 70 condoms on me please?

Oooshya. Is it still THAT itchy?

(That's for not letting me have a biscuit!)"

Dont be a hater for a man appreciating safe sex. And I'm gonna need those biscuits, I imagine 70 condoms is gonna take some time. You're welcome to a biscuit break too Mrs after dark

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By *humper.Man
over a year ago

northumberland/scotland

"Little bit sarcastic

Good sense of humour

And if you don’t know how to use a condom , no worries I can put one on using my mouth

Can you put 70 condoms on me please?

Oooshya. Is it still THAT itchy?

(That's for not letting me have a biscuit!)

Dont be a hater for a man appreciating safe sex. And I'm gonna need those biscuits, I imagine 70 condoms is gonna take some time. You're welcome to a biscuit break too Mrs after dark "

What's a guy gotta do for a fuckin biscuit round here?

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By *inda May SimmonsTV/TS
over a year ago

hexham

You want me to sell myself?

Big myself up?

Oh crumbs!

But I cannot meet the demand as it is ! No, no, no….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Little bit sarcastic

Good sense of humour

And if you don’t know how to use a condom , no worries I can put one on using my mouth

Can you put 70 condoms on me please?

Oooshya. Is it still THAT itchy?

(That's for not letting me have a biscuit!)

Dont be a hater for a man appreciating safe sex. And I'm gonna need those biscuits, I imagine 70 condoms is gonna take some time. You're welcome to a biscuit break too Mrs after dark "

Not sure my jaw could handle 70 but I’ll take a biscuit if your offering

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

We’re great company, we love a cocktail or ten and we can really daaance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Little bit sarcastic

Good sense of humour

And if you don’t know how to use a condom , no worries I can put one on using my mouth

Can you put 70 condoms on me please?

Oooshya. Is it still THAT itchy?

(That's for not letting me have a biscuit!)

Dont be a hater for a man appreciating safe sex. And I'm gonna need those biscuits, I imagine 70 condoms is gonna take some time. You're welcome to a biscuit break too Mrs after dark

Not sure my jaw could handle 70 but I’ll take a biscuit if your offering

Look I'm more than happy to negotiate. 3, sex, biscuits. Final offer!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Little bit sarcastic

Good sense of humour

And if you don’t know how to use a condom , no worries I can put one on using my mouth

Can you put 70 condoms on me please?

Oooshya. Is it still THAT itchy?

(That's for not letting me have a biscuit!)

Dont be a hater for a man appreciating safe sex. And I'm gonna need those biscuits, I imagine 70 condoms is gonna take some time. You're welcome to a biscuit break too Mrs after dark

What's a guy gotta do for a fuckin biscuit round here?

Think of it this way, the biscuits are gonna ruin your abs the ladies are oh so crazy about.

I hate you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m funny, good kisser and would take you out for steak

"
steak

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

I smell nice

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

Be original everyone else says no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a handsome penis

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I'm a bit of a nutter. Hard work. Honestly the tight grip of my vagina on your cock/okayish oral skills might just make it worth it. But I'm not sure.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"I'm a bit of a nutter. Hard work. Honestly the tight grip of my vagina on your cock/okayish oral skills might just make it worth it. But I'm not sure."

Winner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm the kind of woman you bring home to meet your dog. You'll forget me quickly, but my smell will linger on your beard for 67 days. I'm absolutely divine and I feel like cobwebs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm the kind of woman you bring home to meet your dog. You'll forget me quickly, but my smell will linger on your beard for 67 days. I'm absolutely divine and I feel like cobwebs."

I walk through cobwebs every day when I leave my house going through the gate and I can never get enough of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Easy going, friendly and respectful

If you are looking to dip your toes in for the first time or you've done it before, never any pressure… Go at your own pace and let’s make it a night to remember…

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By *orny Harry6999Man
over a year ago

Kendal

I'm slim active and been told I have a lush arse to grab hold of

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By *ustincider888Man
over a year ago

Preston Ish

Stay clear, I'm shit in the sack anyway

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I’m all heart

and I’m an amazing listener and I give fantastic hugs.

I’m pretty amazing at kissing as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a fucking delight

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By *igBobby82Man
over a year ago

Hartlepool

I'm a genuine, funny, kind hearted guy with a talented tongue and powerful hands.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've got a good sense of humour, and previous girlfriends have never complained about my oral enthusiasm

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

i dont know anything that im not good at..

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

You probably shouldn't, I can be quite hard work.

But if yiu do, I'm more than a little handy with a flogger

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By *entBarryUKMan
over a year ago

Ashford

I'm terrible at this, so, I am a fungi, a bit of a rebel, I like to get into truffle. I know it might be spore taste, but I also like dark, warm, wet places.

And I hate mushrooms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Grace of a flamingo, legs of a flamingo, face .... like a flamingo

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

You’ll have a laugh with me and can motorboat my tits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cook All the Time I clean I’m house trained I lift toilet seat when lady’s in house

I wash dry clothing I iron even though I hate it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a hip lady who can hip hop, bee bop, dance till you drop, and yo yo make a wicked cup of cocoa

NBVN x

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By *nterblueMan
over a year ago

manchester

I'm an absolute powerhouse of a man. A thrilling, action packed juggernaut that can take you to sensual heights beyond your wildest imagination.

I also have a good imagination.

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By *igBobby82Man
over a year ago

Hartlepool

[Removed by poster at 16/11/22 19:09:51]

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By *igBobby82Man
over a year ago

Hartlepool

"You’ll have a laugh with me and can motorboat my tits

Haha. Clap clap clap

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