FabSwingers.com forum: why can't I get a lady

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

why can't I get a lady even to talk to me I no I'm no hunk but still. just don't understand I'm polite and a gentleman. but nothing. thoughts people please.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's no particular reason or anything wrong with you, it's a numbers game. The best way to survive on here is to have no expectations and go with the flow, it's hard work for everyone on here especially single guys. Don't lose hope but don't take it too seriously either!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yawn certain people think this site is like getting sex on tap it really isn’t.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"why can't I get a lady even to talk to me I no I'm no hunk but still. just don't understand I'm polite and a gentleman. but nothing. thoughts people please."

Alot of men don't read profiles and wonder why they get rejected

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it the cock pic as soon as they open your gallery? Maybe it’s the cock pic as soon as you open your gallery. But the ladies will tell you for sure - first impressions and all that

Good luck, I hope you find what you’re looking for on here!

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Choose carefully someone who you may share interest with and fit their criteria then Keep trying until someone shows interest. One guy flirted with me, i asked to swap face pics and ended up not liking his face because he had a big beard. If he read my profile properly, i clearly state i dislike beards and that will never change

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By *arkandlovelyWoman
over a year ago

South Derbyshire

Okay, I don't think your profile is brilliant. Face photo isn't bad, the other photo is - erm - I'm not sure what purpose it's meant to serve. Are we admiring your weights or your Xbox? I'm not wild about dick picks but if you're going to have one at least make sure the poor lad isn't so sad and sleepy looking.

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By *eedsmale36Man
over a year ago

Leeds

"why can't I get a lady even to talk to me I no I'm no hunk but still. just don't understand I'm polite and a gentleman. but nothing. thoughts people please."

There’s thousands of us Men on here, it’s getting harder, you should have been on here in 2007-2008, I was fighting them off with a “Shitty Stick”

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Is it the cock pic as soon as they open your gallery? Maybe it’s the cock pic as soon as you open your gallery. But the ladies will tell you for sure - first impressions and all that

Good luck, I hope you find what you’re looking for on here! "

I actually like cock pics. I want to know beforehand what i could be playing with. Again men with average size cocks message me and my profile states I'm a size queen. Again it's something important to me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

thanks lady. but that's just it I'm not looking for sex on tap I always read the profiles the other day I asked a lady if it was OK if I looked at her public video because it felt wrong to me with out her permission. I just no.

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

taunton somerset

being polite and a gentleman should be the norm but it wont get you a meet not saying that to put you down or anything but the simple fact is there are 100s and 1000s of you ...there has to be attraction and then the getting on and on the same page stuff after via messages .... its just a very hard scene for a man ..unless you stand out , make a effort ...

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By *adCherriesCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire/Northwest

You only joined 4 weeks ago, so maybe chill out abit.

I really don't do pity parties, so maybe come across abit more positive rather then Eeyore like and I'm sure things will pick up.

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

Women will nearly always look at your profile before the even read your message.

Take a look and have a good read of it yourself.

Check for any spelling or grammar mistakes.

Also the Sydney University disclaimer which is totally useless takes up more of your bio than the info about you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You'll need a bigger net and a soundproof basement. Then you can get all the ladies you want

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Go to a club and social.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just relax. They site is frustrating, you just have to shake that off and keep trying (just don’t try so hard it consumes you)

The women and couples in here can be filtering through hundreds of messages, so it’s entirely possible that they just don’t get time to reply or follow up. And if you’re not for them, try not to sweat it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

OK thank you all for your help. I appreciate it very much. thank you again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe look at social events in your area. Bare in mind your msg is in the middle of 100s, possibly 1000s. Remove the Sydney nonsense. Don't ask if it's OK to view a video, it's public for viewing. Stay positive, you may just he what someone is looking for

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By *pYaMan
over a year ago

Ready…

Be active in the forums, have fun, and just relax

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

how many messages do you think women get on here on average?

id say its way more than they can manage, if your message doesn't stand out from the rest then expect it to get missed

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

OK well I've made changes to my profile and I'm very grateful for all your comments. so thanks again everyone.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"thanks lady. but that's just it I'm not looking for sex on tap I always read the profiles the other day I asked a lady if it was OK if I looked at her public video because it felt wrong to me with out her permission. I just no. "

If the video public, no real need to ask permission. We all struggle to find the right person, I find it frustrating to find a real gentleman whom fits my criteria. I don't care what other people say.its my body and I don't want any tom, dick or Harry touching it or giving me drama. So choose wisely and improve your profile. That's all you can do. You can try clubs but trust me, they aren't as friendly and easier to get sex than people make out. I see many single men roaming around aimlessly in clubs looking for someone. I feel sorry for them as it seems only small minority like online get the attention easily.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I no if its public I don't no to ask but its just not me. a pic is one thing but to see a video of some one with out there permission. I don't think I could do that. she never replied so I never watch it anyway. lol. thanks for all you help cherry blossom.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"OK well I've made changes to my profile and I'm very grateful for all your comments. so thanks again everyone. "

OK. A few observations.

1. What's a 'unanimous meet' ?

2. I suspect mentioning that you've moved your mother in but are still happy accommodate may hamper your chances.

People aren't generally keen on meeting at people's house when they have kids on the premises so I'd assume the same would be true for parents. Fair play for being up front about it but I don't think it will help.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

OK thanks

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I shouldn't be on here should I. OK thanks everyone.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I shouldn't be on here should I. OK thanks everyone."

Of course you should. Why not?

Just think about how your profile is perceived by others and tweak it so that it appeals, rather than gives reasons to scroll to another.

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By *entBarryUKMan
over a year ago

Ashford

Women on here get a massive amount of messages from guys. You can't imagine how hard it is to reply to like 60 messages a day when you have a job and a life to live at the same time. Don't be put off, just join in the conversations and go to a club if you can.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I shouldn't be on here should I. OK thanks everyone.

Of course you should. Why not?

Just think about how your profile is perceived by others and tweak it so that it appeals, rather than gives reasons to scroll to another.

OK thank very much. honestly thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I shouldn't be on here should I. OK thanks everyone."

Of course you should be on here, even if it’s just chatting on the forum.

You don’t need to ask permission to view videos, I add them because I want people to watch them, and other people do the same. The adding of them to a public gallery is the permission.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I shouldn't be on here should I. OK thanks everyone.

Of course you should be on here, even if it’s just chatting on the forum.

You don’t need to ask permission to view videos, I add them because I want people to watch them, and other people do the same. The adding of them to a public gallery is the permission.

I do understand. it just doesn't fill right like I'm perving or something. anyway thanks very much

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By *mber and FireCouple
over a year ago

Carmarthenshire

Everyone belongs here, as long as their expectations are managed. This is not a place for an easy hook up - physical or otherwise.

It's a place for people who share a similar outlook on a particular aspect of life to come together (no pun intended, but imagine a mass fab orgy?) and be around similar souls. That's it.

Anything that gets arranged is between consenting adults, but it isn't guaranteed nor should it be expected without work.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

thanks for saying that everyone belongs here. its just I've been told maybe this site isn't for me because I'm much of a gentleman.

I think I just need more time. thanks very much to you all.

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By *arkandlovelyWoman
over a year ago

South Derbyshire

"thanks for saying that everyone belongs here. its just I've been told maybe this site isn't for me because I'm much of a gentleman.

I think I just need more time. thanks very much to you all."

You can be a gentleman without being a drip. Maybe you'd suit a dominant woman into humiliation?

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By *aptainhornpipeMan
over a year ago

manchester

"why can't I get a lady even to talk to me I no I'm no hunk but still. just don't understand I'm polite and a gentleman. but nothing. thoughts people please."

This is a casual sex site, that’s going to be popular with the fellas.

Probably 1 woman to 500 guys that’s why cos you send your message and so do 499 other guys

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"thanks for saying that everyone belongs here. its just I've been told maybe this site isn't for me because I'm much of a gentleman.

I think I just need more time. thanks very much to you all."

Have you tried being a arsehole? Change of approach might work for you

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By *ussle SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle

"thanks for saying that everyone belongs here. its just I've been told maybe this site isn't for me because I'm much of a gentleman.

I think I just need more time. thanks very much to you all."

I’m a gentleman, but I’m not going to ask if I can view something that’s open to public viewing. As you found out 9 times out of 10 the message gets missed. Don’t read anything into it.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

"why can't I get a lady even to talk to me I no I'm no hunk but still. just don't understand I'm polite and a gentleman. but nothing. thoughts people please.

This is a casual sex site, that’s going to be popular with the fellas.

Probably 1 woman to 500 guys that’s why cos you send your message and so do 499 other guys"

And that’s where you’re wrong and the main reason why not a single day goes by on Fab without seeing a post like this one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just chat and have fun. We all send messages that hey deleted straight away. Hell even some of these forum ladies I've had a laugh with block me suddenly. Don't take it personally and don't take this seriously at all!

Have shit chat, be friendly and fun, and you never know what could happen! There's couples and women with completely different tastes here so while you may not acclaim by many, there will be others who love ya!

Not talking about personal experience here or anything obviously...

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By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I think it's maybe for a couple of reasons op ,firstly some women do actually want to eventually meet and you're profile says you're not looking to meet.

The after chatting might put some off,some men not all (before anyone starts) just want sex chat and don't chat with the intention of just chatting about everyday things.

Hang on in there ,be polite and always read a profile and someone will hopefully chat.

Good luck .

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By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Also just re read ,top part reads as if you do meet & you're verified recently

Last part states you're not looking for a meet ,so maybe decide to if your are or not and update your profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yawn certain people think this site is like getting sex on tap it really isn’t."

Tbf he is only looking to chat not meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't respond to this either

Why would you message someone asking if you view something that's open to public?

Would you like it if you every time someone viewed your profile they messaged you first to ask if it was OK to view it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always find a nice little joke with an introduction message to be the best thing. Saying to somebody what you want to do or if you can watch their videos on a first message is a bit rubbish, make it known that you’ve read their profile maybe by bringing something up from a snippet of the profile etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There seems to be the assumption, certainly amongst the single men of fab, that there is some magical mystery formula to unlocking the ability to get a meet. Like completing certain levels of a video game or something.

There isn't.

You could have the best written profile on here with the best photos and craft the perfect message. If tge person you're messaging doesn't fancy you, then it isn't going to happen.

We seem to think that those that we fancy will fancy us. Like in the real world, rarely is this the case.

You'll probably appeal to only a few people on fab and half of those probably won't be your cup of tea.

All you can do is make sure your profile is as good as it can be, but most importantly, just be yourself

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly I feel part of it is how you contact people

Are you engaging do you talk about there profile?

Or do you send a one line how are you message?

You are more likely to get a response if you put some genuine effort and interest into a message

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By *ocothumpaMan
over a year ago

quite close to you

I send out 2-3 messages a month.

Don’t get a reply; Cool. I understand that being a man on here is a massive imbalance.

Get yourself to a club and meet people face to face.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Being polite is the bare minimum.

It's a bit like saying, I brush my teeth, I should be a Ralph Lauren model.

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By *allMeLexMan
over a year ago

Southampton

The honest answer is this:

Men outnumber women and couples on Fab by a country mile. It's not even remotely close.

Add to this that most men appear to send messages with their penis in their hand (metaphorically and literally). Then, most guys can barely string together a comprehensible message other than "Hi" or "Wanna fuck?". Of course, it's not looking good for us here.

Then, compound onto that, many men, when ignored or rejected spam, repeat the message or get aggressive/nasty.

Yeah. There is your reason. Idiotic manchildren are ruining it for those who put effort into messages and profiles.

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By *ilfCrumpet9Man
over a year ago

Wirral

"why can't I get a lady even to talk to me I no I'm no hunk but still. just don't understand I'm polite and a gentleman. but nothing. thoughts people please."

Feel free to check out my profile mate

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

I've opened my message settings up for the first time in years and the messages are overwhelming. For the most you will just be being scrolled past and at worst your messages may not be interesting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being polite is the bare minimum.

It's a bit like saying, I brush my teeth, I should be a Ralph Lauren model."

And the fact that he's said it so many times us a bir unsettling as well

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By *arkcrystalMan
over a year ago

Bristol

"Being polite is the bare minimum.

It's a bit like saying, I brush my teeth, I should be a Ralph Lauren model."

I do and I should

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The honest answer is this:

Men outnumber women and couples on Fab by a country mile. It's not even remotely close.

Then, compound onto that, many men, when ignored or rejected spam, repeat the message or get aggressive/nasty.

Yeah. There is your reason. Idiotic manchildren are ruining it for those who put effort into messages and profiles."

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By *jolnir85Man
over a year ago

Caerphilly

It’s a swinging site. Not a sex site. That’s always been the biggest misconception about FAB.

If you really want to get anywhere on here, I would suggest getting yourself along to the socials or get involved in the club scene.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Join in with forum/cam room chat o/p. Lots of topics up for discussion. Treat fab like a social club. Maybe go to gigs as music can be a good ice breaker. Good luck!

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