FabSwingers.com forum: Break Up

By *oncrete Hands OP Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

Just broke up whats the best way to get her of my mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get under someone else.

Or chocolate

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By *iss KinkWoman
over a year ago

North West

Come on fab

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Time.

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth

Can't be that bad if you've been on here all this time

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

A nice big wank

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By *wingin CatMan
over a year ago

London

Have a couple of nights out with friends and try to forget about her, whilst concentrating on the company of friends and enjoying yourself.

Yes, it takes time, but you may get over it sooner than you think. Best of luck.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Tbh there is no quick fix. Depending on the length, quality and nature of the relationship you will need to go through a sort of "grieving process" which will gradually ease and you will be ok.

Shortcuts, for example throwing yourself into another "relationship" will not work as you have not processed the whole thing. It will affect the new relationship and not make you happy long term.

A lot of people bypass the grieving and processing as it feels less painful but long-term it leaves more scarring.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just broke up whats the best way to get her of my mind"

Was she on here too?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/11/22 17:01:54]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pizza and lots of time.

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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago

Welling

"Just broke up whats the best way to get her of my mind"

Are you sure it’s over for good? They have tendency to get back.

Get your self among good friend or two and chat about everything and nothing. Ask them to punch you on a face if you try to call her or reply to her text

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't be that bad if you've been on here all this time "

Huh? How do you know she wasn't/isn't here too?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Others have said unfortunately there is no quick fix. If you need a couple of days to wallow then absolutely do that just be careful that doesn't turn in to a few weeks. It is going to be hard I'm sure but maybe after a couple of days try to take things easy,keep busy and distracte yourself whilst giving yourself space to reflect and grieve.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say time is needed to process the break up. The first week or so is often worst. Try to keep busy...talk to people in your life for support...

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By *oncrete Hands OP Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

Thank you, ive never actually used this site for sex was never quite sure if it was just the sex i needed, then i found a woman 25 years older then me in the 'real world' and its been the best 6 months of my life, and just slotted into the husband role in the house and it is that which i am missing the date nights sitting on sofa cooking cleaning house chores etc and i do feel there is no way back.

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth

"Can't be that bad if you've been on here all this time

Huh? How do you know she wasn't/isn't here too?"

I don't

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth

"Thank you, ive never actually used this site for sex was never quite sure if it was just the sex i needed, then i found a woman 25 years older then me in the 'real world' and its been the best 6 months of my life, and just slotted into the husband role in the house and it is that which i am missing the date nights sitting on sofa cooking cleaning house chores etc and i do feel there is no way back."

So sorry you're going through this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone else.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I am really sorry to hear that, that really sucks. x

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By *oncrete Hands OP Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

Just to let you know she wasnt, well i dont think she was lol

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Just broke up whats the best way to get her of my mind

Are you sure it’s over for good? They have tendency to get back.

Get your self among good friend or two and chat about everything and nothing. Ask them to punch you on a face if you try to call her or reply to her text "

Not true in my case. The love of my life married and had kids with someone else and i haven't seen him for years

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By *oncrete Hands OP Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

i know, bless her though she did really try to make it work, i noticed little things in past couple of weeks then she said she needed space then yesterday said it was over were not on the same page?

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By *he_Secret_GardenWoman
over a year ago

Naughty Lane

"Get under someone else.

Or chocolate "

Does it work?

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By *oncrete Hands OP Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

Yer i reckon so she needed a bit of time off between us couple of weeks back, lasted two days until she messaged me back saying shes missed me but its not been the same, then yesterday said its over were not on the same page dont contact me.

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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago

Welling

"Just broke up whats the best way to get her of my mind

Are you sure it’s over for good? They have tendency to get back.

Not true in my case. The love of my life married and had kids with someone else and i haven't seen him for years"

Yeah, I know. I was a bit sarcastic, apologies to OP and you if that was too much. My ex is with someone else and getting married soon too. No attempts from either of us to get back together since break up. However I’ve seen that couple of times with my friends and it didn’t work but worsen the struggle even more.

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth

My apologies too OP for assuming!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just broke up whats the best way to get her of my mind"

You've been on here a year so think you already did

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By *oncrete Hands OP Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

Never had the balls to use the site, wasnt sure the swinging life was for me, was just lonely then found someone then forgot about the site now im back for what im not sure

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Just broke up whats the best way to get her of my mind"
get rat arsed you feel so shitty that'll do it

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By *oncrete Hands OP Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

Thanks for the replies, it took my mind away for a short while

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op. There’s no answer I can give you that can help you.

But I can say, it gets easier as time moves in. Things become clearer for you.

But is my ex out of my head 12 months after it was over? Hell no. Do I get upset when things ring a reminder? Hell yes.

Dig in,

It took me a looong time to remember who I was and started to be that person again. I suggest you do it a lot quicker than I did, or you’ll waste 6 months sat in a sofa staring at a wall and you’ll never get that time back.

Or get under someone else, that could work too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for the replies, it took my mind away for a short while"

I'm sorry OP. You'll find it gets easier in time... time is a wonderful thing. I hope you'll find someone special again some day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cliché but so true, time is the only healer you’ll need in those case.

And maybe driving a Ford fiesta at 30mph in city centers that requires you to drive at 29mph.

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By *oncrete Hands OP Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

Cheers pal i will try, its just so confusing to work it all out, but im trying to just forget, its just a bit of clarity i need not just 'were not on the same page' then dont speak to me again.

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By *oncrete Hands OP Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

Thank you, i do too, it was just what we had was just what ive been craving for and now its all gone up in smoke and yearning for it again. i hope you find whatever your looking for too x

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"Just broke up whats the best way to get her of my mind"

Come and say Hello on this evening's Nocturnal Thread, in the lounge (10.00pm). Hugs and solidarity prevail amongst the nocturnal fellowship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get yourself on your mind. Do things you haven't attempted in a while, walk - it helps with stress levels - and enjoy nature, woodland or water front, accept help when offered, don't say no to friends who try to cheer you up, focus on making yourself feeling good about you.

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By *oncrete Hands OP Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

Might have to as ive been getting no sleep with things running through my head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends how ingrained in your mind she is if the force is strong you never do

All the talk of time you will no doubt see tho i disagree with it simply depends on the person but in my experience time is a thief not a healer it only takes

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By *oncrete Hands OP Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

Thank you, i will try all the above, might go for a walk now in the mist/fog.

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

it takes time your still a young guy im sure you meet somebody else

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By *oncrete Hands OP Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

oh shes certainly left an imprint, she gave me a taste of everything i wanted and now its all been took away.

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By *oncrete Hands OP Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

i know its just in the short term, mind is all over the place ive been high on love and now its all gone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"oh shes certainly left an imprint, she gave me a taste of everything i wanted and now its all been took away."

If you are replying to a specific post use the reply and quote button It makes it easier to know who you are replying to and the conversation flows better. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i know its just in the short term, mind is all over the place ive been high on love and now its all gone. "

What little things normally make you feel a little bit better even just for a short time?

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By *entBarryUKMan
over a year ago

Ashford

"Just broke up whats the best way to get her of my mind"

Chocolate, your favourite drink, a triple movie marathon and a warm bath. Anything that gets the endorphins up.

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By *oncrete Hands OP Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

"oh shes certainly left an imprint, she gave me a taste of everything i wanted and now its all been took away.

If you are replying to a specific post use the reply and quote button It makes it easier to know who you are replying to and the conversation flows better. X"

Sorry new to this much appreciated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"oh shes certainly left an imprint, she gave me a taste of everything i wanted and now its all been took away.

If you are replying to a specific post use the reply and quote button It makes it easier to know who you are replying to and the conversation flows better. X

Sorry new to this much appreciated

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By *oncrete Hands OP Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

"i know its just in the short term, mind is all over the place ive been high on love and now its all gone.

What little things normally make you feel a little bit better even just for a short time? "

Football but cant play due to a hip injury, not much tv gets me going so maybe have to read a book or podcast, or get back on the weights. its just difficult to occupy my mind when i keep thinking what i had and how much i enjoyed it all.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

It's difficult OP. A part of you will be grieving and love doesn't disappear overnight shortly.

Do little things that bring you joy. Talk to friends. Family. Those who care about you. Allow yourself space and time to be sad but try and not be too consumed by the sad.

I hope things are better for you soon, x

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By *oncrete Hands OP Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

"It's difficult OP. A part of you will be grieving and love doesn't disappear overnight shortly.

Do little things that bring you joy. Talk to friends. Family. Those who care about you. Allow yourself space and time to be sad but try and not be too consumed by the sad.

I hope things are better for you soon, x"

Thank you i will do my best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Realise the next best thing is around the corner!

It honestly is, not sure how many times you've been in broken up relationships but you can ALWAYS find another!

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By *9 kisses.Man
over a year ago

clacton on sea

Do something different,

If your not a member of a gym, join one

Try new things and go places,

If you were meant to meet someone then that person will cross your path

Good luck,

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By *oncrete Hands OP Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Realise the next best thing is around the corner!

It honestly is, not sure how many times you've been in broken up relationships but you can ALWAYS find another!"

Cheers pal will have to go for some long walks, a fair few times but none have felt like this thats why i cant seem to get my head around it

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By *mightyMan
over a year ago

Scarborough

Don’t fret iv been 2yrs abstent my bairn comes first over anything sex partners included if he’s not around then I’m usually at work or sat on plane going somewhere

summa will come along plenty fish left in the sea otherwise find summa to grasp & focus on it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My advice would be to process it properly, meaning if you try to stop thinking about something the more you will think of the thing you're trying not to think about..

..what lessons would you take from this relationship into the next?

..how can you use the experience to grow as a human being?

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By *oncrete Hands OP Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

"My advice would be to process it properly, meaning if you try to stop thinking about something the more you will think of the thing you're trying not to think about..

..what lessons would you take from this relationship into the next?

..how can you use the experience to grow as a human being?

I think thats where im going wrong im trying to get her out of my mind but like you say i just think of her and our time together which was always good. Im not sure probably do the exact same, things were going so well then 2 weeks back she said she needed time to think then came back 2 days later saying shes missed me then the other day she just says were not on the same page gave me no clue as to what page i was on then said leave me alone?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How long were you together? Sometimes people say we're not on the same page when they mean they want different things..marriage, kids, house, that stuff

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By *oncrete Hands OP Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

"How long were you together? Sometimes people say we're not on the same page when they mean they want different things..marriage, kids, house, that stuff"

Just under a year, i think now looking at it, she was 24 years older and i dont think she could come to terms with the gap, i feel she thought i was better off with someone my own age so we could grow together whilst she has been there and done that with one child only a few years younger, so probably not on the same page but im a couple of chapters behind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Come on fab "

Perhaps they could talk and Come on fab together

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By *oncrete Hands OP Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

Update im doing fine now, especially considering the reason she split up is she is getting back with an ex fiance who cheated on her several times split up, came back left her on xmas day for the same women but now split up again so shes got back with him, more fool her.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Update im doing fine now, especially considering the reason she split up is she is getting back with an ex fiance who cheated on her several times split up, came back left her on xmas day for the same women but now split up again so shes got back with him, more fool her.

Sounds like you had a close escape , be thankful you didn’t end up with that one

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By *oncrete Hands OP Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

Sounds like you had a close escape , be thankful you didn’t end up with that one "

i know cheers pal, i just dont get it but hey good luck to them both maybe its 3rd time lucky for them both, clearly likes the drama

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

It's nice to hear that you are doing well or ok even it's horrible when things like this happening but we all learn from mistakes regardless how things are but it's knowing or even excepting that we are better off rather than be taken granted for.

Keep your chin up

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By *oncrete Hands OP Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

Cheers pal, it just came out of nowhere the dumping hit me like a sledgehammer then i got told about her ex being back on the scene and it all made sense so dodged a bullet onto new pastures for me

Keep your chin up

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Cheers pal, it just came out of nowhere the dumping hit me like a sledgehammer then i got told about her ex being back on the scene and it all made sense so dodged a bullet onto new pastures for me

On a positive side I'd say it's better you found out now rather than much later it's a horrible experience to go through but given how much you already know you should be thinking you've definitely had a lucky escape. Might be a time she might come running back but just remember what she did as you meant nothing at that time nobody is second best

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Some people prefer the better devil you know and the bond you make with someone you spent alot of time with.

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By *oncrete Hands OP Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Some people prefer the better devil you know and the bond you make with someone you spent alot of time with. "

But surely the pain and grief that person put you through how can you just accept them back, i personally dont think i could welcome someone back who treated me with no dignity

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