FabSwingers.com forum: Have you ever put a phone in your bum crack…….

By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

……..and asked your mate to call you?

Love and earpiece

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I did but the service is terrible down there…

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

No.

But that is how I set my phone alarm to wake me up each morning.....

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

Jackass

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

"I did but the service is terrible down there…"

You must be with 3 mobile then

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

"No.

But that is how I set my phone alarm to wake me up each morning.....

Are you a long snoozer then?

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

"Jackass"

Oh my

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tried it, then remembered I had no mates.

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

"I tried it, then remembered I had no mates."

Is the phone still there then?

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By *nto the LouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

"……..and asked your mate to call you?

Love and earpiece

You forgot ring-piece

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've done worse than that.

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

"……..and asked your mate to call you?

Love and earpiece

You forgot ring-piece

I led you in nicely

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

"I've done worse than that. "

I’ve seen the pictures

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Not intentionally.

Not saying it hasn't happened

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

No. I use a Nokia 3310 and my bum hole is far too small for that kind of thing!!

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

"Not intentionally.

Not saying it hasn't happened

Was it a mobile phone or one of them old style turn dial ones?

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

"No. I use a Nokia 3310 and my bum hole is far too small for that kind of thing!! "

A 3310 is perfect for foreplay

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By *ortyairCouple
over a year ago

Wallasey

No but I have put a cracked in my mobile x

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

"No but I have put a cracked in my mobile x"

Is it a big crack?

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By *ig_eric_tionMan
over a year ago

IPSWICH

"I did but the service is terrible down there…

You must be with 3 mobile then

2 mobile would be more appropriate.

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

Yes, i find there are better acoustics down there

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

Mines a bIphone. It likes both holes.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

"……..and asked your mate to call you?

Love and earpiece

No but my phone under my balls and asked my house mate to ring it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Amateur! Just have to go to settings and try out a sexy jazzy ringtone

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Not intentionally.

Not saying it hasn't happened

Was it a mobile phone or one of them old style turn dial ones?

Phone booth one.

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By *ortyairCouple
over a year ago

Wallasey

"No but I have put a cracked in my mobile x"
Huge x

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

"I did but the service is terrible down there…

You must be with 3 mobile then

2 mobile would be more appropriate.

I see what you did there you little tinker

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've done worse than that.

I’ve seen the pictures

I know. I love making you wank to my weird shit. X

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

"Yes, i find there are better acoustics down there"

Is it like one of those Austrian mountain calling horns?

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

"Mines a bIphone. It likes both holes. "

Ah, you have a flip phone I see

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

"……..and asked your mate to call you?

Love and earpiece

No but my phone under my balls and asked my house mate to ring it

Is the correct answer

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

"Amateur! Just have to go to settings and try out a sexy jazzy ringtone"

Do you not have any friends?

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

"Not intentionally.

Not saying it hasn't happened

Was it a mobile phone or one of them old style turn dial ones?

Phone booth one."

I hope nobody was in it when you sat on it

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

"I've done worse than that.

I’ve seen the pictures

I know. I love making you wank to my weird shit. X"

It’s not weird to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope my ass checkes would probably crush it

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

NO!

Where would I put my bike silly!

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

"Nope my ass checkes would probably crush it "

Yours would take one of those army phones

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

"No. I use a Nokia 3310 and my bum hole is far too small for that kind of thing!!

A 3310 is perfect for foreplay

Frantically looking at my trusty blue and white Nokia to see if it's a 3310. What's the point of model numbers if they aren't on the phone somewhere?

Whatever model it is, it has far and away the best wake up alarm ever: "IT'S TIME TO GET UP, the time is ...."!

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

"No. I use a Nokia 3310 and my bum hole is far too small for that kind of thing!!

A 3310 is perfect for foreplay

Frantically looking at my trusty blue and white Nokia to see if it's a 3310. What's the point of model numbers if they aren't on the phone somewhere?

Whatever model it is, it has far and away the best wake up alarm ever: "IT'S TIME TO GET UP, the time is ...."!"

If you can play snake on it then it’s a 3310

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've done worse than that. "

Please don’t say it was a trunk call?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Amateur! Just have to go to settings and try out a sexy jazzy ringtone

Do you not have any friends?

It lasts longer STOOPID

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nope my ass checkes would probably crush it

Yours would take one of those army phones

Emmm no comment

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By *ustincider888Man
over a year ago

Preston Ish

[Removed by poster at 11/11/22 19:31:05]

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By *ustincider888Man
over a year ago

Preston Ish

Yes but Those rotary phones hurt like hell going in the bum, you can't go very far because they've got a wire attached and don't even buzz when they call.

Waste of time if you ask me

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

If you can play snake on it then it’s a 3310

No idea. I've never bought any phone with the intention of playing a game on it.

The only games I play are 'Silly buggers' 'Fast and loose' and 'Away from home'!

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By *hogun300Man
over a year ago

Dundee

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

"Yes, i find there are better acoustics down there

Is it like one of those Austrian mountain calling horns?

Yes. Exactly that

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

Maybe that's where my 3210 ended up and I just didn't realise

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Not intentionally.

Not saying it hasn't happened

Was it a mobile phone or one of them old style turn dial ones?

Phone booth one.

I hope nobody was in it when you sat on it

Someone might have been inside having a piss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have...but the people queueing outside the phonebox i was in werent impressed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have...but the people queueing outside the phonebox i was in werent impressed."

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By *jekimMan
over a year ago

Wigan

Passing on the pink eye

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