FabSwingers.com forum: You know, I’m not 100% sure that they do drink Um Bongo in the Congo …

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

In fact, I checked Wikipedia and they confirm this ..

“Um Bongo is particularly famous for its long running jingle of "Um Bongo, Um Bongo, they drink it in the Congo", which accompanied animated television advertisements since 1985. However, Um Bongo has never been produced or sold in either the Republic of the Congo or the Democratic Republic of the Congo.”

Although, hey, anyone can edit Wiki, right? What do they know!?!

Anyway.. what other outright lies have the adverts told us?

Maybe happiness ISN’T a cigar called Hamlet?

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

I'm pretty sure the Hokey Cokey isn't what it's all about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That lynx makes any man irresistable

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By *im RoyleCouple
over a year ago

chester

Hi karate does not help you fight women off!

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

I'm fairly sure toyotas aren't the best built cars in the world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm almost certain that red bull doesn't give you wings

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

Your Matey isn't a bottle of fun. Its just bath suds...that look suspiciously like fairy liquid.

Except Miss Matey. That looks like hand-wash.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've yet to come across any girders in Irn Bru

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By *ovingSussexLifeMan
over a year ago

West Sussex

"Your Matey isn't a bottle of fun. Its just bath suds...that look suspiciously like fairy liquid.

Except Miss Matey. That looks like hand-wash. "

Wasn't the advert that it cleaned the kids, and bath as well?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/11/22 22:29:12]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been drinking redbull for ages.....still no wings

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

Imagine my surprise when I opened my Cadbury milk chocolate and there wasn't a glass and a half of milk there.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I followed the bear. It mauled my arms off. So much for leading me to great lager

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I ate 73 milky ways and it ruined my appetite

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I ate 73 milky ways and it ruined my appetite "

Ah but did you eat them BETWEEN meals?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'The milky bars are on him' my arse, shops always expect me to buy them.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

"Your Matey isn't a bottle of fun. Its just bath suds...that look suspiciously like fairy liquid.

Except Miss Matey. That looks like hand-wash.

Wasn't the advert that it cleaned the kids, and bath as well?!"

Matey...clean fun, clean kids and a clean bath too

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

I watched out...I watched out (again)...there was never a Humphrey about.

So I started drinking my lemonade brazenly in daylight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I ate 73 milky ways and it ruined my appetite

Ah but did you eat them BETWEEN meals?

Put them in my cars tank, couldn't jump that canyon!....false advertising

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I ate bowl after bowl of Ready Brek as a kid but never once did I develop a magic glowing, orange aura around my body as was clearly shown on the old adverts when I went to school.

Fucking rip off!

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By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

I quite often managed to eat 3 shredded wheat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Opal fruits didn’t make my mouth water

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Opal fruits didn’t make my mouth water"

Consulate fags weren’t as cool as a mountain spring

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden

There was no tiger in the tank when I filled up with Esso petrol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bang and the dirt is not gone.

Fuck off Barry Scott

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bang and the dirt is not gone.

Fuck off Barry Scott"

I switched my exes vodka with cilit bang and she’s gone.

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

Not sure Mr Kipling makes exceedingly good cakes.....

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By *irty-pairCouple
over a year ago

South Essex

A finger of Fudge was often too much

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By *dam_TinaCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire

"I watched out...I watched out (again)...there was never a Humphrey about.

So I started drinking my lemonade brazenly in daylight. "

You're safe with lemonade. It's your milk they're after

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By *rgasmaddict3Man
over a year ago

stourbridge

"A finger of Fudge was often too much"

Don’t want to try more?!

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By *ull English with teaMan
over a year ago

London

My friend from school drank a lot of milk as he had a calcium deficiency, after trials at several clubs he eventually signed pro terms with Accrington Stanley…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does any one still go to work on an egg?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Still waiting for that Lynx Africa effect.

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

local, but not too local

"A finger of Fudge was often too much"

The problem is they lack structural integrity.

If you try to finger a fudge it just crumbles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

QC sherry..........what does QC stand for?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"QC sherry..........what does QC stand for?"

Houses of Parliament?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hands that do dishes aren’t as soft as my face!

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

The Dyson Ball Cleaner.

Does a shit job and nearly sucked one of my plums off.

Fuck you James. Fuck you....

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By *antasy Explorers 1313Couple
over a year ago

A place where others reside (nr Oxford)

Despite their upbeat theme song and promising lyrics, David Schwimmer, Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox, Matthew Perry, Matt Le Blanc and Lisa Kudrow and have never been there for me during any of my personal crises'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Fiat Strada wasn't handbuilt solely by robots!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Coke a Cola never did teach the world how to sing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bum Bum Bum Esso Blue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thankfully, cats don't have opposable thumbs (Cravendale milk advert)

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

I tried shoving a tampax up my arse but it didn't enable me to roller skate, surf or mountain climb.

And I also ate four shredded wheat once because I'm badass.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I ate bowl after bowl of Ready Brek as a kid but never once did I develop a magic glowing, orange aura around my body as was clearly shown on the old adverts when I went to school.

Fucking rip off!

Trump did!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im not sure Irn Bru is made from Girders!!

And wildlings from north of the wall might be able to correct me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Courage Best, doesn't beat all the rest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It wasn't the way to Amarillo

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

A finger of fudge is not even close to being enough…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Proclaimers have never walked a thousand miles to fall down at my down at my door.

The pricks never even got an Uber to drive 50miles to ring my doorbell

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

No Farah said quorn sausages were tastier than real ones.

Absolute bollocks. I’m tempted to sue him.

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

"No Farah said quorn sausages were tastier than real ones.

Absolute bollocks. I’m tempted to sue him. "

Mo Farah, not No Farah, that would be harsh, despite him conning me into purchasing shit sausages.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

The water in majorca don't taste what it oughta

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Did anyone ever find Sid, and tell him?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Owwwwwwwwwwwww Bodyyyyy Foooorrrr ooorrrmmmmmm

Body formed for youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

Doubt it.

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By *iddle ManMan
over a year ago

Walsall

Im sure carlsberg probably isn't the best lager in the world

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By *ortyairCouple
over a year ago

Wallasey

Never been Tango'd x

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By *iddle ManMan
over a year ago

Walsall

[Removed by poster at 11/11/22 19:03:20]

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

They do Dan, but it’s way down deep in the middle

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By *nnCeeWoman
over a year ago

East of Eden, West of Hell

Are you sure that Gillette is the best a man can get??

I mean, I'm sure they're good, but when I used my ex's, it didn't give me any better shave than my Sainsburys cheapo razors....

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By *itty HoodooCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

The lady really didn’t love Milk Tray

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My friend from school drank a lot of milk as he had a calcium deficiency, after trials at several clubs he eventually signed pro terms with Accrington Stanley…"

Who are they?????

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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago

In my happy place

Shake n vac just left white patches all over the carpet.

Waiting for the freshness back to this day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Opak Fruits... Didn't make my mouth water

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By *rC onlyMan
over a year ago

town

The smell of Brut 66 isn’t great

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By *nnCeeWoman
over a year ago

East of Eden, West of Hell

"The smell of Brut 66 isn’t great"

I love the smell of Brut. It's the smell of my Dad - it's the only deodorant he's ever worn.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"The water in majorca don't taste what it oughta

It's because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plane(s). The secretary transcribed Shaw's incorrectly and, well, the rest is history.

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By *inda May SimmonsTV/TS
over a year ago

hexham

My uncle ate a mars a day and he had a heart attack!

Work, rest and play, my arse!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I ate bowl after bowl of Ready Brek as a kid but never once did I develop a magic glowing, orange aura around my body as was clearly shown on the old adverts when I went to school.

Fucking rip off!

The detail they omitted was that the child actor they used lived close to a nuclear power station.

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By *obyn GravesTV/TS
over a year ago

1127 walnut avenue

"In fact, I checked Wikipedia and they confirm this ..

Although, hey, anyone can edit Wiki, right? What do they know!?!

Anyway.. what other outright lies have the adverts told us?

Maybe happiness ISN’T a cigar called Hamlet?

It gets a mention in one of Dom Joly's books I think it's called scary monsters and super creeps.. anyway his quest in monster hunting takes him to the Congo where he apparently asks a waiter for a glass of the said drink..I think all he gets is a confused look..

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