FabSwingers.com forum: In Defence of 'Fat'

By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I use the word 'fat' to describe my body. I don't see it as negative, derogatory or even self-deprecating. It's what I am.

I don't think using 'curvy' makes a difference to the people who fat shame. They just roll their eyes at a euphemism aand call us fat anyway.

I defend using fat as an accurate term. Is there a defence that makes it sexy too?

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

You don't need a defence .... do what you do, people scratch their arses and sniff it, amongst other things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends entirely on the individuals involved.

If everyone agrees and is happy, disco.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m the same. I think using the word “fat” doesn’t always mean it’s derogatory. If someone was purposely trying to hurt my feelings and insult me then yeah, fat is a derogatory word. If I’m describing myself to someone then no. It’s just a factual statement.

I can’t actually call myself curvy because, for a big girl, my bum and my boobs aren’t all that big. So it’s hard to know what words to use lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I use the word 'fat' to describe my body. I don't see it as negative, derogatory or even self-deprecating. It's what I am.

I don't think using 'curvy' makes a difference to the people who fat shame. They just roll their eyes at a euphemism aand call us fat anyway.

I defend using fat as an accurate term. Is there a defence that makes it sexy too?

You don’t need to defend anything nor for that matter qualify you being.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a reason why it was reclaimed as 'phat'

And at the end of the day, we're all someone's idea of hot & someone's idea of not.

Haters will hate no matter who you are or what you look like.

It's a them thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think fat or thin or average are purely descriptive terms. Fat or thin or average people may be seen as sexy by others but not sure how they work as 'sexy' words.

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

Society’s ideals of body shape change over time, larger women were seen as much more desirable as a norm at points in the past, thing of the Rubenesque figure in classical art. In the 60’s, women like Twiggy were seen as the ideal, but there seems to be a shift occurring again particularly with regards to shapes and sizes of butts and thighs. But none of that really matters anyway, people like what they like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I over indulge I treat people to a quick truffle shuffle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m the same. I think using the word “fat” doesn’t always mean it’s derogatory. If someone was purposely trying to hurt my feelings and insult me then yeah, fat is a derogatory word. If I’m describing myself to someone then no. It’s just a factual statement.

I can’t actually call myself curvy because, for a big girl, my bum and my boobs aren’t all that big. So it’s hard to know what words to use lol "

Do you only not mind calling yourself fat, just not someone else doing it? Purely curious.

I got a message the other day saying 'I like chunky' girls, it pissed me off, just because I don't want to be seen as chunky..I didn't think he was trying to be rude.

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Back of the bins.

"I use the word 'fat' to describe my body. I don't see it as negative, derogatory or even self-deprecating. It's what I am.

I don't think using 'curvy' makes a difference to the people who fat shame. They just roll their eyes at a euphemism aand call us fat anyway.

I defend using fat as an accurate term. Is there a defence that makes it sexy too?

I think it’s all in the context. If it’s said in a negative way anything can be hurtful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fat tits are sexy. Fat cock would be a compliment so why not?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can’t actually call myself curvy because, for a big girl, my bum and my boobs aren’t all that big. So it’s hard to know what words to use lol

Do you only not mind calling yourself fat, just not someone else doing it? Purely curious.

I got a message the other day saying 'I like chunky' girls, it pissed me off, just because I don't want to be seen as chunky..I didn't think he was trying to be rude."

I think from strangers I wouldn’t like it. If I described myself as fat and then they replied with “I like fat girls” if be fine with it. I don’t mind words like chunky but I once got called “juicy” and instantly got pissed off for some reason hahah

I just think strangers shouldn’t be commenting on someone’s weight. At least wait until you’ve built a sort of connection/relationship.

Just my opinion anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mum bod.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had "I love your fat arse" as a compliment.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

I use it of myself, but wouldn't describe someone else that way.

Personally, I think 'curvy' and 'fat' are not synonymous. A woman can be thin and curvy, imo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mum bod."

That would get you a kick in the balls if she’s not actually a mum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fat tits are sexy. Fat cock would be a compliment so why not?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mum bod.

That would get you a kick in the balls if she’s not actually a mum "

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"When I over indulge I treat people to a quick truffle shuffle "

I used to do that, but had to stop after sending too many glasses / tables / people flying across the room.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

It's almost impossible to offend me so call me fat if you want.

People who think they're insulting me are done out of an offended reply.

I'm overweight; ergo I'm fat.

My LTP-who is miles hotter than anyone who has tried to fat shame me-adores me, and my fat body.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mean at the end of the day, its an accurate description. In the eyes of other people, there are probably politer ways to refer to yourself or others, but its all about context really isn't it. As long as you aren't calling yourself fat because you are self hating or attacking someone else with the word because of their body type, I also don't see anything wrong with it?

People love to rave about "fat asses" on women, no one seems to complain then? Or is the bum the internationally recognised exemption when it comes to being openly called fat haha?

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By *riving_Home_For_MimiWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Fat is fat.

Sexy is subjective.

You can be both.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Sexy is an attitude not a body size.

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By *inkyguyUKMan
over a year ago

worcester

Fat is a turn on to a lot of guys x they may marry a skinny girl but they play with girls with serious curves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fat is a turn on to a lot of guys x they may marry a skinny girl but they play with girls with serious curves "

Eh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People need to stop defending their bodies full stop.. what other people think of you is none of your business.

Just do you.

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By *weetsmellingtreatsWoman
over a year ago

Gloucester

"I use it of myself, but wouldn't describe someone else that way.

Personally, I think 'curvy' and 'fat' are not synonymous. A woman can be thin and curvy, imo."

For sure I used to be very slim but curvy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not going to state the obvious hear and I’m not going to blow wind up you’re ass

Well not literally

But have always preferred the curvier lady always have always will

Everybody is different everybody is unique in there own special way

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

I with you on this one. I used to be a member of fat forums back in the day, if anyone remembers that.

If you hold derogatory view against larger ladies, the word fat can be weaponised. If you like larger women, fat it just that, fat.

All about the context in which the word is used.

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

I can’t actually call myself curvy because, for a big girl, my bum and my boobs aren’t all that big. So it’s hard to know what words to use lol "

Just had a look, curvy seems quite good...thems some fine curves and all in excellent proportion

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

On a place like this, if someone has representative pics of their body on show, I don’t think there's a need to use any adjectives to describe your own body

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Thanks for all the comments.

I didn't mean it to be about me (or anyone) defending size and shape but about defending using the word as a descriptor.

Someone mentioned 'fat cock', that can definitely be used both ways.

I hadn't seen 'fat arse' before, just big. I'm not sure about 'thicc', which sounds odd to my ears.

I'm going to change my avatar to display all the fat, for a short while.

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By *rof M50Man
over a year ago

Chester

Love fat birds,get no waste,which is good for environment as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm fat.

I call myself fat.

It's almost as if the more we say it the more normal and less offence it causes.

If I committed a crime I would be the fat brunette with cracking tits.

However on insta alot of people dm me if I call myself fat and they are offended on my behalf which is really odd

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By *entBarryUKMan
over a year ago

Ashford

Curvy, fat, voluptuous, whichever you choose you are gorgeous and I love your confidence and your photos!

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I'm fat.

I call myself fat.

It's almost as if the more we say it the more normal and less offence it causes.

If I committed a crime I would be the fat brunette with cracking tits.

However on insta alot of people dm me if I call myself fat and they are offended on my behalf which is really odd "

I agree that the more we use it without offence we are more like to remove the stigma.

I also get the messages to tell me that I shouldn't put myself down.

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By *atisfiedSighWoman
over a year ago

NW Wiltshire

I tend to say fat. I know there's a preference for softer words like curvy or voluptuous, but I want to manage expectations. I'm all creamy soft skin and wobbly bits, which are delightful in their own way, but there's a lot of me and I want any potential connections to be aware of that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm fat.

I call myself fat.

It's almost as if the more we say it the more normal and less offence it causes.

If I committed a crime I would be the fat brunette with cracking tits.

However on insta alot of people dm me if I call myself fat and they are offended on my behalf which is really odd

I agree that the more we use it without offence we are more like to remove the stigma.

I also get the messages to tell me that I shouldn't put myself down."

Oh I love that ...oh you're not fat....yes babes I am lol!

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"Love fat birds,get no waste,which is good for environment as well

Well, don't you flip-flop!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People should call themselves what ever they wish and those engaging with them to follow their lead.

Words can be used positively or negatively so all in the context really.

Apologies if this has been said...too idle to read every post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

"People should call themselves what ever they wish and those engaging with them to follow their lead.

Words can be used positively or negatively so all in the context really.

Apologies if this has been said...too idle to read every post.

Lazy lady!

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

I’m fat.

Its a fact.

I was called fat by someones kids.

The parent called me a sumo.

I laughed.

I’ve been called a hell of a lot worse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I call myself fat because I am ,would it offend me if someone else told me I was fat? Nope because at 61 I really couldn't care less, me and my fat body have had more years behind me then I have infront of me so I'm going to enjoy myself when I can

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I use it of myself, but wouldn't describe someone else that way.

Personally, I think 'curvy' and 'fat' are not synonymous. A woman can be thin and curvy, imo."

From my experience, most thin girls are not curvy and therefore resort to...um...enhancements. Boob jobs and BBLS...unfortunately...

My personal trainer is very thin. She has no chest or ass. But she's fit. She ran the London Marathon and did Tough mudder.

I'd say I'm fat and curvy. If I wasn't fat, my boobs would be gone. But genetically I've got a big black ass, no matter what size I am.

It's rare to see someone who naturally has the bottle shape. Small waist with big boobs and a big ass/wide hips. It's an idealized version of womanhood.

When I think about 100 women that I went to school with only about a handful (5 or so) had that bottle shape.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like women with lots to play with, more to feel and enjoy, add some heels and I'm in heaven.

Not really adding to the debate but I don't see fat as an offensive term. If a woman is described as fat then it piques my interest.

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By *reat me rightWoman
over a year ago

Rotherham

"I use the word 'fat' to describe my body. I don't see it as negative, derogatory or even self-deprecating. It's what I am.

I don't think using 'curvy' makes a difference to the people who fat shame. They just roll their eyes at a euphemism aand call us fat anyway.

I defend using fat as an accurate term. Is there a defence that makes it sexy too?

No excuse needed from a fellow fatty xxx

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

I have used the term Rubenesque on the odd occasion as he created beautiful images of the woman with a fuller figure

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By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

I often use fat to describe myself. I'm using it in a factual way.

I carry all my weight around my middle, so curvy doesn't define me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's good to hear so many women and some of the guys are so comfortable with their bodies and their own self esteem on here about their body shape or size.

But personally I think both on here and in the real world I will use the word curvy. Just afraid if I used the word fat to the wrong person I might end up with a broken jaw.

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

I (male) am fat, however I think its also a behavioral trait. For example, some people are "fat" but eat sensibly walk, take the stairs.

Others who are "fat" sit on the sofa eating family bags of sweets and crisps every night and claim they dislike fruit and veg.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I (male) am fat, however I think its also a behavioral trait. For example, some people are "fat" but eat sensibly walk, take the stairs.

Others who are "fat" sit on the sofa eating family bags of sweets and crisps every night and claim they dislike fruit and veg."

I'm a fat girl who can walk and swim and eat alot of fruit and veg and I weirdly adore salads lol!

We are all so different x

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"It's good to hear so many women and some of the guys are so comfortable with their bodies and their own self esteem on here about their body shape or size.

But personally I think both on here and in the real world I will use the word curvy. Just afraid if I used the word fat to the wrong person I might end up with a broken jaw. "

I hope it wouldn't get physically violent, but you're right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I changed my status within maybe the past week to 'especially seeking those interested in curvy/plus size'. And to be fair the number of messages I've had has plummeted. Bizzarly as I'm still using exactly the same pics I was before? Also had a few messages that now mention 'bbw', from folk who'd messaged like 4wks ago saying 'curvy/little'...

On the plus side (no pun) at least it s out those who aren't interested in women in the plus size range, and those who are just a bit off about it too

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"It's good to hear so many women and some of the guys are so comfortable with their bodies and their own self esteem on here about their body shape or size.

But personally I think both on here and in the real world I will use the word curvy. Just afraid if I used the word fat to the wrong person I might end up with a broken jaw. "

I am both of those people. I don't think I have enough skin to get fat enough to be two people.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Fat and old are two honest words that have been stigmatised equally.

Young and skinny haven't.

Academics have written loads on this sort of thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People have their preferences regardless of what it is, people shouldn’t shame, people shouldn’t mock, yet I can argue some people may try to persuade, help or simply inform, the term “fat” is also the same as the term “unhealthy”. Personally I would never attack someone for their appearance, but wish to motivate someone to take a step in the right direction. To become a better and healthier version of them selves

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"Fat and old are two honest words that have been stigmatised equally.

Young and skinny haven't.

Academics have written loads on this sort of thing."

Skinny has. I don't think anyone would like to be called skinny, slim, yes, skinny, no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People have their preferences regardless of what it is, people shouldn’t shame, people shouldn’t mock, yet I can argue some people may try to persuade, help or simply inform, the term “fat” is also the same as the term “unhealthy”. Personally I would never attack someone for their appearance, but wish to motivate someone to take a step in the right direction. To become a better and healthier version of them selves "

In no way do I mean any disrespect

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I'm fat, it's pretty obvious from looking at me. Mr KC hates me describing myself as fat because of the negative way in which society treats fatness.

I'd prefer not to be fat, but I've been on the larger side ever since I was a child. I was brought up eating healthy food, I was on pretty much every sports team at school and competed for my county at athletics (throwing). I still am very sporty, just from my wheelchair now. I still don't eat anything different to my (very slim) husband or (very slim) daughter or (very slim) son. I've now got bigger fish to fry.

My blood pressure is very healthy. My cholesterol is on the low side of normal. Every time a doc insists on doing diabetes tests, I'm nowhere near diabetic. My heart is just fine (empirically decided because I have periodic heart scans due to my heart murmur that I was born with).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fat and old are two honest words that have been stigmatised equally.

Young and skinny haven't.

Academics have written loads on this sort of thing."

Oh, I think skinny gets a bashing too. The 'real women have curves (big tits/ass), comes into play as well... Bottom line is as a woman you'll probably get flack from either side. I'm not saying blokes don't either before anyone jumps on it. But women and their bodies have always been far more at the forefront of scrutiny and criticism whatever the current 'fashion'

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Fat and old are two honest words that have been stigmatised equally.

Young and skinny haven't.

Academics have written loads on this sort of thing.

Skinny has. I don't think anyone would like to be called skinny, slim, yes, skinny, no. "

Have you not heard of the Kate Moss quote "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."?

There are some skinny-minny bashing in a few fab profiles.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Fat and old are two honest words that have been stigmatised equally.

Young and skinny haven't.

Academics have written loads on this sort of thing.

"Don't read beauty magazines, they'll only make you feel ugly" Baz Lehrman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I use the word 'fat' to describe my body. I don't see it as negative, derogatory or even self-deprecating. It's what I am.

I don't think using 'curvy' makes a difference to the people who fat shame. They just roll their eyes at a euphemism aand call us fat anyway.

I defend using fat as an accurate term. Is there a defence that makes it sexy too?

I myself have an ample frame. I'm also capable of stamina and strength. I am what I am. I'm not gonna go on some diet to look better when I happy ad I am.

Guys who go gym couldn't lift half what I can. I do physical work 5 or 6 days a week. I don't eat alot so fuck it.

Take me or leave me

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By *izzyRascalWoman
over a year ago

North Hants

After half a lifetime of battling eating disorders, I've been working to see 'fat' as a neutral word. Actually recently changed 'curvy'to 'fat' in one of the opening paragraphs of my profile.

Its not something I am, it doesn't define my identity, it's not something I feel, its just something I have. Something all bodies have in varying amounts.

I have had fat on my body and ...

- been loved

- made friends

- been attractive to others

- travelled the world

- been a scuba instructor

To name just a few things!

It can be difficult when we live in such a fatphobic society with all kinds of toxic ideas. But Ive come to accept that the only opinion I can truly control is my own.

Absolutely love the fat on my bottom. Just got to work on accepting my wobbly belly fat lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No offence... But everyone is well aware of their size/fitness level. I doubt anyone past the age of probably early teens need advice/direction on it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After half a lifetime of battling eating disorders, I've been working to see 'fat' as a neutral word. Actually recently changed 'curvy'to 'fat' in one of the opening paragraphs of my profile.

Its not something I am, it doesn't define my identity, it's not something I feel, its just something I have. Something all bodies have in varying amounts.

I have had fat on my body and ...

- been loved

- made friends

- been attractive to others

- travelled the world

- been a scuba instructor

To name just a few things!

It can be difficult when we live in such a fatphobic society with all kinds of toxic ideas. But Ive come to accept that the only opinion I can truly control is my own.

Absolutely love the fat on my bottom. Just got to work on accepting my wobbly belly fat lol."

Having just had a look at your bio pics. I can say in my opinion you are a stunner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's good to hear so many women and some of the guys are so comfortable with their bodies and their own self esteem on here about their body shape or size.

But personally I think both on here and in the real world I will use the word curvy. Just afraid if I used the word fat to the wrong person I might end up with a broken jaw.

I am both of those people. I don't think I have enough skin to get fat enough to be two people.

Doesn't matter what you call yourself, if you are comfortable in your skin you are pretty much always sexy as body confidence is definitely a sexy trait.

For me personally I love big/fat/bbw/curvy/whatever descriptor used... women. Bigger is definitely better. Never met a bigger lady who didnt enjoy sex as much or usually more than a slim one. If they are unfortunate enough to have 'body issues' then once you get past them and they are comfortable with you then the sex has always been amazing. If they dont have those issues then same thing once comfortable sex is amazing. In fairness I will say maybe its me because I find bigger women sexy then the sex is better but on the odd occasion I've had sex with a slimmer woman its just never been as good. As I said maybe thats because of my preferences. But, I personally believe that bigger women generally enjoy sex more and because of that they are absolutely sexier.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

No, fat is not always the same as unhealthy. I'm happy to take my doctor's view on that, not yours.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

" the term “fat” is also the same as the term “unhealthy”. Personally I would never attack someone for their appearance, but wish to motivate someone to take a step in the right direction. To become a better and healthier version of them selves "

Best motivation I found was to be fucking someone and for them to comment about how unfit you are

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By *izzyRascalWoman
over a year ago

North Hants

"they are offended on my behalf which is really odd "

I do find it funny when people do that

I think many folks automatically equate fat to a bad thing. Like this conversation with a friend the other week.

Me - Should have worn something else. So fat and bloated this eve.

Her - Oh don't say that!

Me - Say what? Im fat and bloated?

Her - You're not fat!

Me - Mate ... I literally have a fat belly. Look *wobbles belly*

Her - Yes but it's not that bad

I think she was trying to say I looked good despite the fat but didn't know how lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"they are offended on my behalf which is really odd

I do find it funny when people do that

I think many folks automatically equate fat to a bad thing. Like this conversation with a friend the other week.

Me - Should have worn something else. So fat and bloated this eve.

Her - Oh don't say that!

Me - Say what? Im fat and bloated?

Her - You're not fat!

Me - Mate ... I literally have a fat belly. Look *wobbles belly*

Her - Yes but it's not that bad

I think she was trying to say I looked good despite the fat but didn't know how lol."

I'm happy the way I am. It's not an accurate gauge I know, but I do 20 - 25 k steps on a normal day. Sometimes upto 35 k. I do about 40 flights of stairs on a normal day with a harness and heavy tool belt.

I done 78 flights of stairs the other day. I'm not unfit, anyone who doesn't wanna look past a bit of jelly then jog on.

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

"I (male) am fat, however I think its also a behavioral trait. For example, some people are "fat" but eat sensibly walk, take the stairs.

Others who are "fat" sit on the sofa eating family bags of sweets and crisps every night and claim they dislike fruit and veg.

I'm a fat girl who can walk and swim and eat alot of fruit and veg and I weirdly adore salads lol!

We are all so different x"

That's my point exactly.

Personally, I am attracted to bigger women, but I'm not attracted to people who are lazy and/or sit on the sofa stuffing their face with cake, sweets and junk food every night. I want someone who eats well, appreciates a cake is a luxury and isn't going to proclaim they dislike all fruit and veg.

My point was that the word "fat" isn't just about physical appearance

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By *anted by NightMan
over a year ago

Shangri-La

I find plus size ladies very attractive. Beautiful come in all shapes and sizes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't assume fat is unhealthy would be a good place to start

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I've met you at socials and you may call yourself fat, but I think you're sexy whatever you call it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't assume fat is unhealthy would be a good place to start "

Understand, it could be a predecessor to a health condition therefore could put you at a greater risk. I retract my statement, it does not necessarily mean you’re unhealthy, but In the long run it’s could amount to that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I use the word 'fat' to describe my body. I don't see it as negative, derogatory or even self-deprecating. It's what I am.

I don't think using 'curvy' makes a difference to the people who fat shame. They just roll their eyes at a euphemism aand call us fat anyway.

I defend using fat as an accurate term. Is there a defence that makes it sexy too?

What about obese?

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By *ovingSussexLifeMan
over a year ago

West Sussex

"I've met you at socials and you may call yourself fat, but I think you're sexy whatever you call it

I've met Lickety loads, and agree.

Some words just don't do a person justice. Fat or skinny are subjective, and whether you are attracted to a certain body shape will always be personal choice.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"I defend using fat as an accurate term. Is there a defence that makes it sexy too?

What about obese?"

That's a medical term.

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

Don't assume fat is unhealthy would be a good place to start

Being fat is unhealthy. But not all fat people lead a classic unhealthy lifestyle.

You can be fat and livr a very healthy life style. However that isn't going to make your not fat.

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By *izzyRascalWoman
over a year ago

North Hants

"I defend using fat as an accurate term. Is there a defence that makes it sexy too?

What about obese?

That's a medical term."

And a medical term that gets attributed to people based on their BMI which is a totally bullshit metric as it was created by a mathematician (not medic) and based on a study of average white men. It's literally height vs weight and ignores so many other attributes.

I'm fat peace-lover but if someone called me obese I'd be tempted to deck them

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By *izzyRascalWoman
over a year ago

North Hants

"Being fat is unhealthy "

See sweeping statements like this are part of the issue. A human without fat would die. It literally protects our vital organs.

Where is the line between being human and being fat? When does it become "unhealthy"?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't assume fat is unhealthy would be a good place to start

You're 22 chatting to an audience who is on balance 40+ on here. I get where you're coming from. But I think you've possibly not looked at your audience? Most folk aren't incredibly stupid. We know our bodies, and we don't necessarily need someone probably younger than our kids to inform us we need to hit the gym. Or are you looking to up the knowledge level of the 18-22 range incase they missed the memo too?

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Fat and old are two honest words that have been stigmatised equally.

Young and skinny haven't.

Academics have written loads on this sort of thing.

Skinny has. I don't think anyone would like to be called skinny, slim, yes, skinny, no.

Have you not heard of the Kate Moss quote "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."?

There are some skinny-minny bashing in a few fab profiles."

Lies. I was skinny for a long time and Cherry Lucozade definitely tastes better.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

"Being fat is unhealthy

See sweeping statements like this are part of the issue. A human without fat would die. It literally protects our vital organs.

Where is the line between being human and being fat? When does it become "unhealthy"?"

When there’s too much of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being fat is unhealthy

See sweeping statements like this are part of the issue. A human without fat would die. It literally protects our vital organs.

Where is the line between being human and being fat? When does it become "unhealthy"?

When there’s too much of it."

For me personally I love big boobs and you don't find that with skinny birds. I have had slim girlfriends before and not my thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being fat is unhealthy

See sweeping statements like this are part of the issue. A human without fat would die. It literally protects our vital organs.

Where is the line between being human and being fat? When does it become "unhealthy"?

When there’s too much of it.

For me personally I love big boobs and you don't find that with skinny birds. I have had slim girlfriends before and not my thing"

I wouldn't necessarily say that. But I do think once you hit an 'age' you genuinely have to pick between a face or an arse sometimes?

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"Being fat is unhealthy"

Being fat - in and of itself - is not unhealthy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being fat is unhealthy

Being fat - in and of itself - is not unhealthy. "

Of course its not. It's about the individual. Skinny fat ain't no shakes either. Someone can be low body fat, with a really shit diet, no exercise, and their organs feel the pressure too. It's as always about balance in life

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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago

Terra Firma

"Being fat is unhealthy

See sweeping statements like this are part of the issue. A human without fat would die. It literally protects our vital organs.

Where is the line between being human and being fat? When does it become "unhealthy"?"

Most likely, when the weight or mass of fat is compromising health, such as reducing movement, or adding stress to joints and vital organs.

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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago

Terra Firma

"Being fat is unhealthy

Being fat - in and of itself - is not unhealthy. "

How is being fat healthy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I class myself as dat...but don't seem short of admirers

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By *ovingSussexLifeMan
over a year ago

West Sussex

"Being fat is unhealthy

Being fat - in and of itself - is not unhealthy.

Not all fat is visible though. My dad is very slim, but had a heart attack recently. He had high cholesterol, blocked arteries and fatty organs due to his diet

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"Being fat is unhealthy

Being fat - in and of itself - is not unhealthy.

How is being fat healthy?"

Did I say that? Please read more carefully.

Additionally, there is all sorts of new evidence arguing that being fat is not - in and of itself - unhealthy. I won't patronize you by telling you how to find it.

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By *otMe66Man
over a year ago

Terra Firma

"Being fat is unhealthy

Being fat - in and of itself - is not unhealthy.

How is being fat healthy?

Did I say that? Please read more carefully.

Additionally, there is all sorts of new evidence arguing that being fat is not - in and of itself - unhealthy. I won't patronize you by telling you how to find it."

You said, being fat in and of itself is not unhealthy.

If it is not unhealthy, how would it be healthy? Or is there something between being unhealthy and being healthy?

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"You said, being fat in and of itself is not unhealthy.

If it is not unhealthy, how would it be healthy? Or is there something between being unhealthy and being healthy?"

Okay... what that means is if you are "fat" (whatever that means), you are not *necessarily* unhealthy.

You *might* be unhealthy. Yet, you are not automatically so just by virtue of being "fat."

In the same way... well, I hope you get the logic.

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

I'm on the big side myself but I call myself cuddly, built for comfort not for speed

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By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

You will struggle to find anyone who is "perfect" and even fewer that think they are. I have accepted that I'm a bald middle aged man with a bit of chub. But, I have also accepted that there are good people around me that love who I am, whatever shape that is. OP you should accept the heartfelt opinions of the vast majority of people on this thread, you are sexy and fabulous ??

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"I'm on the big side myself but I call myself cuddly, built for comfort not for speed "

I'm the same. I'm the pit-stop! ??

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

"I'm on the big side myself but I call myself cuddly, built for comfort not for speed

I'm the same. I'm the pit-stop! ??"

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By *nterblueMan
over a year ago

manchester

I struggled with my weight for much of my life. I was chubby as a kid and got teased a lot, the word fat became shameful for me. As a teenager I became skinny and got into semi pro sport and tried to put weight back on! According to BMI I would have been well over weight but I was in the shape of my life. I quit sport and did put weight back on and again started to feel fat and not great in myself. Now however, I feel very different. I go to the gym now but with indifference at best, I'm still fat but just don't see it as something to be ashamed of anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I use the word 'fat' to describe my body. I don't see it as negative, derogatory or even self-deprecating. It's what I am.

I don't think using 'curvy' makes a difference to the people who fat shame. They just roll their eyes at a euphemism aand call us fat anyway.

I defend using fat as an accurate term. Is there a defence that makes it sexy too?

I think it's more about the word 'curvy' though? - most happily apply it to mean big breasts/bum (no tummy in between) think plus size models (5'9 UK18, rounded hips, bum, boobs, no belly)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I use the word 'fat' to describe my body. I don't see it as negative, derogatory or even self-deprecating. It's what I am.

I don't think using 'curvy' makes a difference to the people who fat shame. They just roll their eyes at a euphemism aand call us fat anyway.

I defend using fat as an accurate term. Is there a defence that makes it sexy too?

I think it's more about the word 'curvy' though? - most happily apply it to mean big breasts/bum (no tummy in between) think plus size models (5'9 UK18, rounded hips, bum, boobs, no belly) "

For example LoveHoney just size up lingerie with models. Yet to see a 'plus size' with overhang. They're all girls with very flat stomachs even if plus sized. Which ironically is the body part most women gain weight in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's a reason why it was reclaimed as 'phat'

And at the end of the day, we're all someone's idea of hot & someone's idea of not.

Haters will hate no matter who you are or what you look like.

It's a them thing

spot on 110%.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I use the word 'fat' to describe my body. I don't see it as negative, derogatory or even self-deprecating. It's what I am.

I don't think using 'curvy' makes a difference to the people who fat shame. They just roll their eyes at a euphemism aand call us fat anyway.

I defend using fat as an accurate term. Is there a defence that makes it sexy too?

I think it's more about the word 'curvy' though? - most happily apply it to mean big breasts/bum (no tummy in between) think plus size models (5'9 UK18, rounded hips, bum, boobs, no belly)

Overhang is my wheel house. I have it. I drink beer what do you expect.

The women on here can be very judgemental too. Big belly big willy that's my motto

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

If you want to call yourself fat that’s fine no need to explain or defend it.

I wouldn’t call anyone fat , for a start it’s just not accurate - no one is fat they have some fat, some more than others, I have 16.5%

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate skinny women love nice big ass

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"I hate skinny women love nice big ass"

Don't hate, mate. They're no threat to you.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

WTF has happened to this thread?

"I'm a better shag than you."

Are we all teenagers now?

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"WTF has happened to this thread?

"I'm a better shag than you."

Are we all teenagers now? "

My dads harder than your dad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I use the word 'fat' to describe my body. I don't see it as negative, derogatory or even self-deprecating. It's what I am.

I don't think using 'curvy' makes a difference to the people who fat shame. They just roll their eyes at a euphemism aand call us fat anyway.

I defend using fat as an accurate term. Is there a defence that makes it sexy too?

I think it's more about the word 'curvy' though? - most happily apply it to mean big breasts/bum (no tummy in between) think plus size models (5'9 UK18, rounded hips, bum, boobs, no belly)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After half a lifetime of battling eating disorders, I've been working to see 'fat' as a neutral word. Actually recently changed 'curvy'to 'fat' in one of the opening paragraphs of my profile.

Its not something I am, it doesn't define my identity, it's not something I feel, its just something I have. Something all bodies have in varying amounts.

I have had fat on my body and ...

- been loved

- made friends

- been attractive to others

- travelled the world

- been a scuba instructor

To name just a few things!

It can be difficult when we live in such a fatphobic society with all kinds of toxic ideas. But Ive come to accept that the only opinion I can truly control is my own.

Absolutely love the fat on my bottom. Just got to work on accepting my wobbly belly fat lol."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I defend using fat as an accurate term. Is there a defence that makes it sexy too?

What about obese?

That's a medical term.

I'm fat peace-lover but if someone called me obese I'd be tempted to deck them

Well said!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The fucking fuck went down in here?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"WTF has happened to this thread?

"I'm a better shag than you."

Are we all teenagers now? "

Some girls are bigger than others and some girls mothers are bigger than other girls mothers.

Moz

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth

"I use the word 'fat' to describe my body. I don't see it as negative, derogatory or even self-deprecating. It's what I am.

I don't think using 'curvy' makes a difference to the people who fat shame. They just roll their eyes at a euphemism aand call us fat anyway.

I defend using fat as an accurate term. Is there a defence that makes it sexy too?

I think it's more about the word 'curvy' though? - most happily apply it to mean big breasts/bum (no tummy in between) think plus size models (5'9 UK18, rounded hips, bum, boobs, no belly)

I hate this so much! I'd be so happy if they actually made their cups for "curvy" boobs too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's good to hear so many women and some of the guys are so comfortable with their bodies and their own self esteem on here about their body shape or size.

But personally I think both on here and in the real world I will use the word curvy. Just afraid if I used the word fat to the wrong person I might end up with a broken jaw.

I hope it wouldn't get physically violent, but you're right.

doesnt need to get violent but one swing of a handbag would do the job. I've seen how much stuff can be squeezed into a handbag

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By *horesonWellesMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I fully embrace the word fat. I'm fat, unhealthy, and sexy as hell. Being told "don't say that about yourself" tells me exactly what someone thinks of fat people and I'm not particularly interested in being around them.

Re fat vs healthy/unhealthy, there's been recent studies showing that there is a much broader range of "average" body types than people assume, and that you can be healthy at at a range of sizes. For example Lizzo is a fat woman who has better fitness levels and stamina than most people on this site. Weight CAN be a contributing factor to health problems, it can also be a symptom or a side effect, but none of that means there are "good" and "bad" fat people - we're just people like any other group. It's also worth nothing that the health issues have to be offset by the medical community treating fat people poorly and missing diagnoses in favour of recommending weight loss. There was a recent study where something like 70% of the medical professionals admitted to treating fat patients worse and not believing them. Yikes.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I'm fat, it's pretty obvious from looking at me. Mr KC hates me describing myself as fat because of the negative way in which society treats fatness.

Yeah I'm that kind of fat. The only obesity markers are my weight.....everything else is in the normal range.

I work a manual job 2 days a week. I cycle 2 days a week. I have a personal trainer 1 day a week and I go to the gym about 2 days a week. I'm also adding back in my women's football because it was cancelled a lot due to the pandemic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not fat, but I have fat...

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By *rlandoMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

beauty is in the eye of the beholder...

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"beauty is in the eye of the beholder... "

Indeed, but it's very hard to accept love if you do not have some love for yourself (in a non narcissistic way)....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I defend using fat as an accurate term. Is there a defence that makes it sexy too?

What about obese?

That's a medical term.

I'm fat peace-lover but if someone called me obese I'd be tempted to deck them

Absolutely. When, Sly Stallone, Arnie,Patrick Swayze, Dwayne Johnson, Vin Diesel and the majority of all the worlds top male gymnasts(to name just a few) can be qualified as clinically obese under the bmi metric then you know there is something seriously wrong with that metric or rather in the way that metric is being used as an individual measure rather than what it was designed for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't like the word fat. I'm happy to describe myself as that, but I could never describe someone else in that way. I am a point where I have accepted it isn't always a harmful word and it wouldn't offend me unless used in a way to try and belittle me. But, I know that others can be triggered by it... and I couldn't ever throw it around easily because I'd hate to hurt someone like I've been hurt in the past.

I do think using the word more in a respectful way would bring a more neutral meaning to the word, but I genuinely find it so hard to describe someone else that way. It's so ingrained that fat is an awful word even though it's just a descriptive term and is the exact same as plus size, curvy etc. I've never in my life (in person) heard that word used in a respectful manner and that's why I find it so uncomfortable.

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By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"I don't like the word fat. I'm happy to describe myself as that, but I could never describe someone else in that way. I am a point where I have accepted it isn't always a harmful word and it wouldn't offend me unless used in a way to try and belittle me. But, I know that others can be triggered by it... and I couldn't ever throw it around easily because I'd hate to hurt someone like I've been hurt in the past.

You may be happy to describe yourself as that, but it's not true. I'm not just saying that to curry favour either, I have no skin in the game.

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By *ady CurvaceousWoman
over a year ago

Kent

I'm fat. I use that word to describe my self. I then get berated by the guy telling me I'm not fat, I'm curvy. I'm 19 stone, it's not made of flowers, it's lard. I'm not offended by the word as long as its not used in a derogatory way, which it usually is when I say "no".

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I've learnt to just call myself what I want regardless of what others feel because you can't win. I use curvy and it never ceases to amaze me how much controversy one word can cause. Some, as you say tell me that I should just say fat, others tell me I'm not big enough to be curvy. I'm sure if I changed it to average, people would have a problem with that too. Or any of the options really. At the end of the day, I have pictures people can use to decide if they like my body or not, regardless of what body type label I use.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"I've learnt to just call myself what I want regardless of what others feel because you can't win. I use curvy and it never ceases to amaze me how much controversy one word can cause. Some, as you say tell me that I should just say fat, others tell me I'm not big enough to be curvy. I'm sure if I changed it to average, people would have a problem with that too. Or any of the options really. At the end of the day, I have pictures people can use to decide if they like my body or not, regardless of what body type label I use. "

Just go with 'hot' Lacey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This entire thread has made for some uncomfortable reading.

I've held off posting and deleted many a reply for fear of it appearing to pander or worse, antagonise.

Weight and body image has always been a terrible triggering topic for most, and language plays an important part of how we feel both positively and negatively.

Casual comments without malice or thought can wound just as deeply as those with clear intent. It's really difficult to hold ones confidence and value in light of everything we see today all around us.

I don't know, there's no pearl of wisdom here, nothing providing insight or profound depth.

I just find it maddening that people I viewed as strident, confident and utterly unflappable are victim to frankly ridiculous labels. But that's the human condition, it gets to us all eventually.

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By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"I'm fat. I use that word to describe my self. I then get berated by the guy telling me I'm not fat, I'm curvy. I'm 19 stone, it's not made of flowers, it's lard. I'm not offended by the word as long as its not used in a derogatory way, which it usually is when I say "no". "

Wasn't berating, I just don't see it. I'm glad you are happy with yourself, because you will make someone else very happy too.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Just go with 'hot' Lacey

I do run rather warm!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So... have you all come to a conclusion?

If so, can I come play with your beautiful bodies now? Pretty pleaaaase? We could have a massive sex party where you have to do a jiggle before you are allowed in?

(Yes, I can jiggle... just about!)

As someone with a size 12 "hourglass" figure (I am absolutely not healthy - I eat so much cake), I still get pissed off when someone opens by telling me how physically appealing I am. It just feels gross and objectifying and I feel like they are gonna be judging my body if I meet them in person. It makes me mad and sad that you gorgeous human beings have to put up with negative shit all the time.

I think that as the times change, many of us are becoming more and more body positive, no matter what shape or size we are. It will take some time for the rest to catch up unfortunately.

It certainly changes the way you play for the better when you know that everyone involved is actively excited about exploring each others bodies and figuring out how to give each other pleasure.

Body positivity for the win!!

Fay

Ps. I didnt read all the above messages, so please forgive me if there is now a big context that I have walked over insensitively

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This entire thread has made for some uncomfortable reading.

I've held off posting and deleted many a reply for fear of it appearing to pander or worse, antagonise.

Weight and body image has always been a terrible triggering topic for most, and language plays an important part of how we feel both positively and negatively.

I don't know, there's no pearl of wisdom here, nothing providing insight or profound depth.

I just find it maddening that people I viewed as strident, confident and utterly unflappable are victim to frankly ridiculous labels. But that's the human condition, it gets to us all eventually. "

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I'm fat.

Sure you can sugarcoat it and embellish it with some lovely terms but I'm fat. Chubby when I've lost a bit of weight.

I don't mind it. I had a forumite call me a heffalump once (yep, ad hominem arguments. Truly beautiful). It made me laugh more than anything else. As far as body positivity goes... ach. It tends to be touted more by non-plus size folk on here. Almost like the whole I don't see colour spiel. And it's kind of problematic but that's a whole other thread.

I don't feel the need to defend it as sexy. I'm more than my body but I'm also my body at the same time. Convoluted at 6am. Sexy because I am me. Not in spite of the fact I'm fat. Not because I'm fat. Because I'm me.

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By *ittlemissTinselTitsCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

You're the same size as me then... I'm fat simples... But my hubby likes to say that XL means extra lovely lol... I say I'm harder to kid nap

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

People are not fat, they just have fat, everyone does, some more than others but I would never refer to a person as fat and I would not accept it aimed at me. Usually the term is used in a derogatory way with the aim of causing upset why should a person accept that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I defend using fat as an accurate term. Is there a defence that makes it sexy too?

What about obese?

That's a medical term.

I'm fat peace-lover but if someone called me obese I'd be tempted to deck them

Your profile pic is bloody fantastic!

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

Interesting thread with some really positive comments. One thing I’ve learned over the years is not to associate being overweight with being unhealthy or unfit!

Just for context, people think I’m slim but my BMI is 30 which makes me borderline obese

I’m not in the slightest bit fit and I really love my food! This is why I take no notice of BMI - utter nonsense.

I do wish people wouldn’t make sweeping comments about slimmer bodies to validate bigger bodies though (just a couple of posts from men who’ve decided slimmer women don’t perform as well).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm fat.

Sure you can sugarcoat it and embellish it with some lovely terms but I'm fat. Chubby when I've lost a bit of weight.

Aren't heffalumps those gloriously cute and bouncy happy Disney baby elephants?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Your profile pic is bloody fantastic! "

Awww, thanks Boobs, yours are pretty special,can see why your username. Loving the little nipple peek, very sexy x

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By *kygladMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

A few months ago someone on fab messaged me totally uninvited to tell me how Fat I was and that they wouldn't even meet some as fat if they were getting paid to.

I said how observant they were and that was ok because even if I was paying to meet someone I wouldn't waste my money on them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Your profile pic is bloody fantastic!

Awww, thanks Boobs, yours are pretty special,can see why your username. Loving the little nipple peek, very sexy x "

Thanks

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Thank you all for the comments on this thread, the ones that resonate with me and the ones that make a cacophony.

It's been an interesting read.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s becoming a term which is being reclaimed.

More accurately you might say “I have fat” not “I am fat”.

You wouldn’t say “I am abs”, after all.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I think it’s becoming a term which is being reclaimed.

More accurately you might say “I have fat” not “I am fat”.

You wouldn’t say “I am abs”, after all. "

I have noticed that 'with overweight' is being used more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I use the word 'fat' to describe my body. I don't see it as negative, derogatory or even self-deprecating. It's what I am.

I don't think using 'curvy' makes a difference to the people who fat shame. They just roll their eyes at a euphemism aand call us fat anyway.

I defend using fat as an accurate term. Is there a defence that makes it sexy too?

I totally agree.

When you can embrace your fat, life gets better

Remember girls, those boys don't look at our bodies like we do

I've always had a penchant for a fat bald man, even when I was slim

Missy x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it’s becoming a term which is being reclaimed.

More accurately you might say “I have fat” not “I am fat”.

You wouldn’t say “I am abs”, after all. "

Or in my case "I have lots of fat"

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

"Sexy because I am me. Not in spite of the fact I'm fat. Not because I'm fat. Because I'm me.

Absolutely this; in my mind you can be sexy no matter what your body shape. The same goes for not sexy too.

OP, there are definitely some people who think fat is sexy no matter what, just like some who only go for blondes, black guys or whatever else.

I guess being called fat is ok as long as it’s not used as a pejorative term, however it’s been an insult for a looong time so it can still sting for plenty of us. Just be aware that some people out there think we’re sexy as fuck for who we are.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

I done 78 flights of stairs the other day. I'm not unfit, anyone who doesn't wanna look past a bit of jelly then jog on. "

I like squidgey bits on men. Maybe it's a comfort thing. Maybe it's a kink. I mean I've been with guys with very low body fat and that was ok too.

Let's face it, I like all types of naked men. Lol! there aren't many body types that I've said no to.

Now the personality...could be the man with the most amazing body in the world but if they have a personality that sets off my trauma triggers: no thanks!!

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"A few months ago someone on fab messaged me totally uninvited to tell me how Fat I was and that they wouldn't even meet some as fat if they were getting paid to.

I said how observant they were and that was ok because even if I was paying to meet someone I wouldn't waste my money on them.

Omg how rude and entitled they were. Clearly they were dragged up instead of raised and brought up.

Some people online are incredibly sadistic and not in a good way. In a narcissistic/sociopathic/psychopathic/abusive way.

For me a straight delete and block!

I would never dream of doing that to someone...online or in person.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Don't assume fat is unhealthy would be a good place to start "

Yes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I put 'especially seeking those seeking curvy/plus sized' in my profile heading and my messages dropped to like 3 a day. I scrapped the plus size, left the 'curvy' and they hugely jumped up again. My open pics hadn't changed at all during either

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