FabSwingers.com forum: Why do birds suddenly appear?

By *lephantis OP Man
over a year ago

Oxford

Every time I'm settling in for a quiet night in?

Like every other man here, I have enormous respect for the ladies of Lush. But why are they so insistent on craving my beautiful body just as I'm updating my Excel spreadsheet documenting my stocks of shoe-polish, or begging me to fuck them silly when I've literally only recently started watching my boxset of Open University 1969-74: The Glory Years?

Fab would be an easier place for bang average single men to navigate if we weren't getting constantly bombarded with waves of oestrogen-crazed beauties the second we log on. If I've heard it once, I've heard it a thousand times: women of Fab, slow down.

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree

Sorry

I shall leave you alone. The fireworks were just so loud and I needed a strong man to keep me safe.

As you were

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By *lephantis OP Man
over a year ago

Oxford

"Sorry

I shall leave you alone. The fireworks were just so loud and I needed a strong man to keep me safe.

As you were

You might at least help me rearrange my now sadly disarranged beermat collection.

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree

Ooh I do love a beer mat. I’m in!

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By *lephantis OP Man
over a year ago

Oxford

"Ooh I do love a beer mat. I’m in!"

Some of them are a bit sticky after this evening's hen night. Do be careful.

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree

I’ll wear gloves I think..

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By *lephantis OP Man
over a year ago

Oxford

"I’ll wear gloves I think.."

The Queen Hen, or 'bride', said it was squirt, but I'm pretty sure it's either piss or Carlsberg. A distinction without a difference, of course.

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree

Oh I hope it wasn’t Carlsberg

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They long to be close to you. What else can I say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bloody magic hats eh

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By *lephantis OP Man
over a year ago

Oxford

"Oh I hope it wasn’t Carlsberg

A good point. I do like your sense of priorities.

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By *lephantis OP Man
over a year ago

Oxford

"They long to be close to you. What else can I say."

Damn this unstoppable animal magnetism of mine.

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By *lephantis OP Man
over a year ago

Oxford

"Bloody magic hats eh"

Worse even than wizard's sleeves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you keep scattering your seed about. Birds love seed.

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By *lephantis OP Man
over a year ago

Oxford

"Do you keep scattering your seed about. Birds love seed. "

True, though apparently they prefer fat balls.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Do you keep scattering your seed about. Birds love seed.

True, though apparently they prefer fat balls."

No, silly. Mealworms

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By *lephantis OP Man
over a year ago

Oxford

"Do you keep scattering your seed about. Birds love seed.

True, though apparently they prefer fat balls.

No, silly. Mealworms

Oh Lord. Now I need to bleach my brain. Thank you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell me about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great song, OP

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