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This week I’m looking for……..

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By *ex Holes OP   Man
over a year ago

Up North

……….. a lady who can do the splits standing up.

I’d love to slap my bollocks against her legs doing the sex stood up.

If you’re vertically challenged I may consider you wearing high heels as well so I can get it in properly.

I’d love to hear from you if this is your thing.

Love and Peace

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Made me think of this https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6XoIjhbzPtg

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

How do you do the splits standing up?

Surely if they're doing a full on spready then their foof will be touching the floor, making penetration pretty impossible?

And if they're doing a full on spready to the gods standing on their hands then if they're vertically challenged then heels will make fuck all difference.

I'm overthinking this aren't I?

A

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By *ex Holes OP   Man
over a year ago

Up North


"Made me think of this https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6XoIjhbzPtg "

This ‘could’ be played in the background for the ‘right’ lady

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do you do the splits standing up?

Surely if they're doing a full on spready then their foof will be touching the floor, making penetration pretty impossible?

And if they're doing a full on spready to the gods standing on their hands then if they're vertically challenged then heels will make fuck all difference.

I'm overthinking this aren't I?

A"

like van damme on a door frame full on bollock mistletoe

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

Yogagirl is your go to then. She can do that in a doorway if you so desire.

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By *ex Holes OP   Man
over a year ago

Up North


"How do you do the splits standing up?

Surely if they're doing a full on spready then their foof will be touching the floor, making penetration pretty impossible?

And if they're doing a full on spready to the gods standing on their hands then if they're vertically challenged then heels will make fuck all difference.

I'm overthinking this aren't I?

A"

Yes, you’re overthinking. You need to visit Rex’s school of stand up fucking for all your tips

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By *ex Holes OP   Man
over a year ago

Up North


"How do you do the splits standing up?

Surely if they're doing a full on spready then their foof will be touching the floor, making penetration pretty impossible?

And if they're doing a full on spready to the gods standing on their hands then if they're vertically challenged then heels will make fuck all difference.

I'm overthinking this aren't I?

Alike van damme on a door frame full on bollock mistletoe"

^^ this,

But I’m not shagging JCVD

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By *ex Holes OP   Man
over a year ago

Up North


"Yogagirl is your go to then. She can do that in a doorway if you so desire. "

Thanks for looking out for a fellow brother dude

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do you do the splits standing up?

Surely if they're doing a full on spready then their foof will be touching the floor, making penetration pretty impossible?

And if they're doing a full on spready to the gods standing on their hands then if they're vertically challenged then heels will make fuck all difference.

I'm overthinking this aren't I?

Alike van damme on a door frame full on bollock mistletoe

^^ this,

But I’m not shagging JCVD "

for future reference dont kiss the mistletoe thats not how it works

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By *ex Holes OP   Man
over a year ago

Up North


"How do you do the splits standing up?

Surely if they're doing a full on spready then their foof will be touching the floor, making penetration pretty impossible?

And if they're doing a full on spready to the gods standing on their hands then if they're vertically challenged then heels will make fuck all difference.

I'm overthinking this aren't I?

Alike van damme on a door frame full on bollock mistletoe

^^ this,

But I’m not shagging JCVD for future reference dont kiss the mistletoe thats not how it works "

I’d sooner be on the end of a roundhouse kick than shag him

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I'm too gymnastically challenged to partake in the Rex Special this week. I hope you find the right pair of legs to bang your bollocks off

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By *ust me 999Man
over a year ago

near you


"How do you do the splits standing up?

Surely if they're doing a full on spready then their foof will be touching the floor, making penetration pretty impossible?

And if they're doing a full on spready to the gods standing on their hands then if they're vertically challenged then heels will make fuck all difference.

I'm overthinking this aren't I?

A"

Lol I think they’re mean 1 foot on the ground on the other foot in the air or are you just being pedantic? Ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let me know when it’s a bend over thread I got it down to perfect

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By *ex Holes OP   Man
over a year ago

Up North


"I'm too gymnastically challenged to partake in the Rex Special this week. I hope you find the right pair of legs to bang your bollocks off "

Can you touch your toes then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Let me know when it’s a bend over thread I got it down to perfect "
laundry day picking odd socks up?

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By *ex Holes OP   Man
over a year ago

Up North


"Let me know when it’s a bend over thread I got it down to perfect "

Backwards??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wall sex ftw

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By *ex Holes OP   Man
over a year ago

Up North


"Wall sex ftw "

She knows ^^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Let me know when it’s a bend over thread I got it down to perfect laundry day picking odd socks up?"

Nope emm I have plenty off practice with plenty off practice partners

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Let me know when it’s a bend over thread I got it down to perfect

Backwards?? "

Forward

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By *StepsAheadMan
over a year ago

Lancs

A female who has stamina and can handle a seriously rough fuck, feeling stressed this week haha

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By *StepsAheadMan
over a year ago

Lancs

A female who has stamina and can handle a seriously rough fuck, feeling stressed this week haha

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I believe you're talking about a leg pull position. She could also rest her leg on your shoulder.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Wall sex ftw

She knows ^^ "

Who doesn't love getting pinned like a fluttery little butterfly

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By *ex Holes OP   Man
over a year ago

Up North


"A female who has stamina and can handle a seriously rough fuck, feeling stressed this week haha"

^^ he’s that stressed he said it twice

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By *ex Holes OP   Man
over a year ago

Up North


"I believe you're talking about a leg pull position. She could also rest her leg on your shoulder."

Err, I don’t do passengers. She needs to do it on her own with no resting

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I'm an expert at lay on your back sex with your legs slightly parted.

On a good day I'll even wrap them around your waist.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London


"I believe you're talking about a leg pull position. She could also rest her leg on your shoulder.

Err, I don’t do passengers. She needs to do it on her own with no resting "

You'll be looking for a dancer then. Gotta have flexibility and strength.

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"I'm too gymnastically challenged to partake in the Rex Special this week. I hope you find the right pair of legs to bang your bollocks off

Can you touch your toes then? "

It has been known. If the occasion called for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So what you're saying is you want me to stick a pole in my fanny and balance on that with the strength of my pelvic floor muscles and then do the splits with my little chubby legs?

I'm in.

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By *ex Holes OP   Man
over a year ago

Up North


"I'm an expert at lay on your back sex with your legs slightly parted.

On a good day I'll even wrap them around your waist."

I’ve a lazy lob on now

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By *StepsAheadMan
over a year ago

Lancs


"A female who has stamina and can handle a seriously rough fuck, feeling stressed this week haha

^^ he’s that stressed he said it twice "

haha bang on there mate

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By *ex Holes OP   Man
over a year ago

Up North


"So what you're saying is you want me to stick a pole in my fanny and balance on that with the strength of my pelvic floor muscles and then do the splits with my little chubby legs?

I'm in.

"

Not just any old pole

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So what you're saying is you want me to stick a pole in my fanny and balance on that with the strength of my pelvic floor muscles and then do the splits with my little chubby legs?

I'm in.

Not just any old pole "

Your rusty old pole will do the job perfectly.

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By *ex Holes OP   Man
over a year ago

Up North


"So what you're saying is you want me to stick a pole in my fanny and balance on that with the strength of my pelvic floor muscles and then do the splits with my little chubby legs?

I'm in.

Not just any old pole

Your rusty old pole will do the job perfectly.

"

Those words bring a tear to my Japs eye

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