FabSwingers.com forum: Show Respect

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We get lots of messages from single men and if they make an effort we will try and reply.. sometimes we cannot.

Most males are respectful although we still get a lot of dick shots without words and the "I want to fuck your Mrs" opening lines.

Why oh why then when we reply and say no thank you do we get messages like this

"i think you should change your profile by writing obnoxious big-headed closed minded people looking for fun"

Messages like this just make us want to ignore all single males.

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

This is exactly why a lot of people just block and delete without replying to messages.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

Fab is full of sexually frustrated people, frustration makes people say and do horrible things. Is it right? No of course not, but unfortunately the anonymity of the internet, coupled with near constant rejection (I am guessing), leads people to behave badly.

My advice OP is not to reply to people you aren’t interested in and to block them if they send rude messages afterwards.

This site gives you quite a few tools to manage negative interactions, how you use those tools is up to you, I am not “victim blaming” here, but I think it’s best not to expect the world to change, but instead change our own behaviour to accommodate the nature of the world we live in. Good luck

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"We get lots of messages from single men and if they make an effort we will try and reply.. sometimes we cannot.

Most males are respectful although we still get a lot of dick shots without words and the "I want to fuck your Mrs" opening lines.

Why oh why then when we reply and say no thank you do we get messages like this

"i think you should change your profile by writing obnoxious big-headed closed minded people looking for fun"

Messages like this just make us want to ignore all single males."
well that's a pretty terrible reply to be fair but don't ignore all the nice single guys, I mean I wouldn't message you you're in Glasgow but the other one nice guy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hugs sorry yous are getting that

Do what most off us do just don’t reply back to messages that don’t take your fancy

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I am not “victim blaming” here, but I think it’s best not to expect the world to change, but instead change our own behaviour to accommodate the nature of the world we live in. Good luck

Thank you for your advice. We will not change our behaviour and will continue to be respectful and polite where we can. Why should a prat change our or anyone else's behaviour. It is them who should change, not us.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

I am not “victim blaming” here, but I think it’s best not to expect the world to change, but instead change our own behaviour to accommodate the nature of the world we live in. Good luck

Well I can only wish you happy fabbing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You shouldn't be posting content of private messages OP

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By *ORBCouple
over a year ago

Dundalk

We don't get many messages because our filters are tight but we both have single profiles and are well aware of those that react badly to a simple thanks but no thanks and that includes women and couples so it's not exclusively all male.

We've only had about 30 messages in total since creating this account and most have been respectful but we have had a few that turn nasty and tell us how shit our profile is and how we are timewasters and won't get anywhere on here. Strangely enough from profiles with no public pics and a one line bio.

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By *wingin CatMan
over a year ago

London

Oh, the pleasures that come with a free swingers' site...with it comes every obnoxious flotsam and jetsam looking for a shag.

I'll prepare to be shot down in flames for this, but when sites charged membership around 20 years ago, these types of arseholes were almost non-existent.

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By *wingin CatMan
over a year ago

London

I am not “victim blaming” here, but I think it’s best not to expect the world to change, but instead change our own behaviour to accommodate the nature of the world we live in. Good luck

Completely agree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you change your profile text?

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

"We get lots of messages from single men and if they make an effort we will try and reply.. sometimes we cannot.

Most males are respectful although we still get a lot of dick shots without words and the "I want to fuck your Mrs" opening lines.

Why oh why then when we reply and say no thank you do we get messages like this

"i think you should change your profile by writing obnoxious big-headed closed minded people looking for fun"

Messages like this just make us want to ignore all single males."

Respect is a hard thing to teach on here ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Makes you wonder if guys who send messages like this ever get meets

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

"Makes you wonder if guys who send messages like this ever get meets"

Of course they don't

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

Your profile encourages anyone and everyone to contact you because you say you’ll consider anything. I’d also add that you don’t respond if you’re not interested and people should take that as a polite ‘no thanks’ (that what the site rules say). You’ll exhaust yourself replying to everyone you’re not interested in.

If I were you I’d try and be a bit more specific about what you’re looking for, it will help people know whether they fit the bill. Currrently you’re inviting people to guess what you may like and wait to be rejected.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

People don't like rejection and then throw their toys out,easy on ghe internet .

It's a good filter ,but there's no need for rudeness .Just block op and next time you get a similar initial message ,block too as you're not compatible.

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

Feels like Jerry springer on here sometimes haha

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

We used to reply to all but now we just delete the messages that are basic, one liners or dick pics.

If there’s no compatibility there and we didn’t ask for the message then there’s no reason to reply.

If someone makes an effort will we reply and any abusive messages just get deleted.

We don’t waste time on people who we’ll never be compatible with.

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By *hiversMan
over a year ago

Dinas Powys

"We get lots of messages from single men and if they make an effort we will try and reply.. sometimes we cannot.

Most males are respectful although we still get a lot of dick shots without words and the "I want to fuck your Mrs" opening lines.

Why oh why then when we reply and say no thank you do we get messages like this

"i think you should change your profile by writing obnoxious big-headed closed minded people looking for fun"

Messages like this just make us want to ignore all single males."

Because the male ego is a fragile thing... its no excuse, and that kind of response really screws things for the rest of us single males.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We get lots of messages from single men and if they make an effort we will try and reply.. sometimes we cannot.

Most males are respectful although we still get a lot of dick shots without words and the "I want to fuck your Mrs" opening lines.

Why oh why then when we reply and say no thank you do we get messages like this

"i think you should change your profile by writing obnoxious big-headed closed minded people looking for fun"

Messages like this just make us want to ignore all single males."

Wouldn't worry about it. Just use it as another filter for someone whose not going to interest you

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

"We get lots of messages from single men and if they make an effort we will try and reply.. sometimes we cannot.

Most males are respectful although we still get a lot of dick shots without words and the "I want to fuck your Mrs" opening lines.

Why oh why then when we reply and say no thank you do we get messages like this

"i think you should change your profile by writing obnoxious big-headed closed minded people looking for fun"

Messages like this just make us want to ignore all single males.

Because the male ego is a fragile thing... its no excuse, and that kind of response really screws things for the rest of us single males."

Wow buddy not all men are .. my ego isn't fragile if I was to speak or message someone that said they wasn't interested I'd say all the best happy fabbing

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By *hiversMan
over a year ago

Dinas Powys

"We get lots of messages from single men and if they make an effort we will try and reply.. sometimes we cannot.

Most males are respectful although we still get a lot of dick shots without words and the "I want to fuck your Mrs" opening lines.

Why oh why then when we reply and say no thank you do we get messages like this

"i think you should change your profile by writing obnoxious big-headed closed minded people looking for fun"

Messages like this just make us want to ignore all single males.

Because the male ego is a fragile thing... its no excuse, and that kind of response really screws things for the rest of us single males.

Wow buddy not all men are .. my ego isn't fragile if I was to speak or message someone that said they wasn't interested I'd say all the best happy fabbing "

Obviously it was a bit of a generalisation... as the OP stated, not all of us respond in that way. You appear to be one of the respectful ones

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By *4DY-FWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle

I can honestly say, after 8 years on here, I’ve not once had a bad response to a rejection. Well aware it’ll happen at some point though. I’d block and delete without taking it personally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My god why dont ya all just do it like they do on the discovery channel ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Makes you wonder if guys who send messages like this ever get meets

Of course they don't "

A guy told me he has and it works alot..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We get lots of messages from single men and if they make an effort we will try and reply.. sometimes we cannot.

Most males are respectful although we still get a lot of dick shots without words and the "I want to fuck your Mrs" opening lines.

Why oh why then when we reply and say no thank you do we get messages like this

"i think you should change your profile by writing obnoxious big-headed closed minded people looking for fun"

Messages like this just make us want to ignore all single males."

I'd just ignore and delete them from now on.

If it's a hard pass, block them to prevent further communication.

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By *umbrianladxoxoMan
over a year ago

carlisle

If i get a opened or deleted message I generally delete that person so as not to anoy ect them again

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you for all your advice and views, most of which are very valid.

We have now changed our profile to the usual one on here.

To us being polite is not difficult and it is something we should all aim for.

Have a good day all.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

We get a lot, although we're not looking for single men, if it's a polite message I'll always reply, if it's a cock or just aimed at me (Mrs) then I don't, they've not read the profile or our preferences so I won't reply (to the cock ones)

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By *wingin CatMan
over a year ago

London

"Makes you wonder if guys who send messages like this ever get meets

Of course they don't

A guy told me he has and it works alot..

He probably also believes that the world is flat, the moon landings never took place, and Elvis Presley is still alive and well in Coventry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have a steady stream of entitled blokes who see nude / naughty pictures and think one message will seal "the deal"

We respond 'no thanks at this time we are just looking at couples'

Some have said if you're only looking for couple why do you say interested in single men on profile..... our answer is if a decent nice genuine single man who understands swinging comes along we may enjoy their company..... you sir don't tick any of those boxes...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Makes you wonder if guys who send messages like this ever get meets

Of course they don't

A guy told me he has and it works alot..

He probably also believes that the world is flat, the moon landings never took place, and Elvis Presley is still alive and well in Coventry."

You are so wrong.. Elvis is working in Burger King in Wetwang. Everyone knows that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Messages like this just make us want to ignore all single males."

Don’t ignore ALL single males. Just ignore those type of messages and the people who send them. #ThinkPositive.

It’s easy to think everyone is the sane, but If we all did that, where would we end up?

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

"Makes you wonder if guys who send messages like this ever get meets

Of course they don't

A guy told me he has and it works alot..

So you kind of already had your answer then ..?

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By *wingin CatMan
over a year ago

London

"Makes you wonder if guys who send messages like this ever get meets

Of course they don't

A guy told me he has and it works alot..

He probably also believes that the world is flat, the moon landings never took place, and Elvis Presley is still alive and well in Coventry.

You are so wrong.. Elvis is working in Burger King in Wetwang. Everyone knows that"

Ah, right. It's been ages since I last saw him....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Messages like this just make us want to ignore all single males.

Don’t ignore ALL single males. Just ignore those type of messages and the people who send them. #ThinkPositive.

It’s easy to think everyone is the sane, but If we all did that, where would we end up? "

WE agree there are many decent respectful single guys here who send nice complimentary and fun messages on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Messages like this just make us want to ignore all single males.

Don’t ignore ALL single males. Just ignore those type of messages and the people who send them. #ThinkPositive.

It’s easy to think everyone is the sane, but If we all did that, where would we end up?

WE agree there are many decent respectful single guys here who send nice complimentary and fun messages on here.

I’d encourage anyone to just ignore and block anything that isn’t or doesn’t feel respectful. Just do what you feel is right with the filtering.

But guys are running out of profiles to actually message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always give a polite no thanks to unsuitable men and it only very rarely leads to abuse.

Most politely thank us for at least responding which is apparently rare.

Focus on the positive people and ignore the dickheads. Imagine being in their head for a day.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I have very tight filters so I don't get many messages. And I don't reply to messages if the profile doesn't appeal to me anymore or to messages that don't appeal to me. I learnt a long time ago to not open the door of communication to people I know I will have no interest in.

I rarely get any abuse on here that is mostly due to filters I think and on the rare occasion I do I just delete it anyhow usually unread if I get the idea of what the message says before I open it.A random person (and it's not only men who do it) who throws abuse at me I actually couldn't care less about. It doesn't make me think that most men or people on here are like that though.

When I was first on here and didn't know about filters it use to shock me but I learnt to take control of my journey on here and use the tools the site provides to help lessen those type of messages,rather than expecting others to change on here. Because they won't so I prefer to do what I can to make my journey enjoyable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We get lots of messages from single men and if they make an effort we will try and reply.. sometimes we cannot.

Most males are respectful although we still get a lot of dick shots without words and the "I want to fuck your Mrs" opening lines.

Why oh why then when we reply and say no thank you do we get messages like this

"i think you should change your profile by writing obnoxious big-headed closed minded people looking for fun"

Messages like this just make us want to ignore all single males."

Please do not let the odd idiot cloud your judgement of all guys that play solo.

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