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How to stop being a stress monkey

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Anyone managed it?

How does one learn to relax and be more chilled out?

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I am the worst stress head going... I worry to much and I get far too stressed.. I just drink vodka haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im feeling physically sick at the moment with all kinds of stress. its seriously not good

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Sometimes it helps to make a list or a spider diagram with all the stresses, then a list of priorities, odepending on the severity of the impact. Often stresses are interlinked and related.

Most important is the recognition that no stress is lessened by worrying about it.

CBT and the way it looks at automated responses to triggers etc sometimes helps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need to list the things that are causing the stress and try to solve a couple of them if possible or lessen them. I don;t think you can totally rid yourself if it but it helps.

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By *aninthemiddleMan
over a year ago

caerphilly

I find this crazy i hve a stressfull job as a store manager but never feel stressed about anything work or not anymore layed back and id fall over

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"I find this crazy i hve a stressfull job as a store manager but never feel stressed about anything work or not anymore layed back and id fall over"
That is good if you can take a stressful job and not respond to the stresses in a negative and self destructive way. Stress is a very subjective thing, what constitutes big time stress for one person, does not even feature on another person's horizon. It is important to take all stress serisouly for it does have such a negative impact on your mental and physical help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be stress free you have to be selfish. That's it in a nutshell basically. If you are an empathetic person who worries about other people, or how other people perceive you, then it's nigh on impossible not to stress about it.

I'm not totally selfish in so much as I care about those closest to me but I don't concern myself with things that happen to other people whose names I don't even know, or things happening in other parts of the world. That's not to say that I don't disagree with general concensus regarding atrocities or people who are murdered etc, those things do appall me but I can't change those events so I won't get worked up about them.

Like I said, an element of selfishness is required to live as much a stress-free life as possible.

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By *aninthemiddleMan
over a year ago

caerphilly

I agree and feel sorry for whoever suffers with it i just must be lucky

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

Music......If I have a stressful day I just play old records all evening to sort my head out.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"To be stress free you have to be selfish. That's it in a nutshell basically. If you are an empathetic person who worries about other people, or how other people perceive you, then it's nigh on impossible not to stress about it.

I'm not totally selfish in so much as I care about those closest to me but I don't concern myself with things that happen to other people whose names I don't even know, or things happening in other parts of the world. That's not to say that I don't disagree with general concensus regarding atrocities or people who are murdered etc, those things do appall me but I can't change those events so I won't get worked up about them.

Like I said, an element of selfishness is required to live as much a stress-free life as possible."

You have a point there, Wishy. A very selfish person is less likely to get stressed about other people's concerns.

Maybe there is a middle ground which is not being completely selfish and yet not being completely unselfish if that makes sense?

Re Jane's comment... music is an immese stress buster for me, too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hypnotherapy! bloody brilliant, I had some years ago and after every session, was as chilled as a chilled thing for daaays.

Not sure about long term, but I did love those times after a visit - nothing could upset me, it was great

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Music......If I have a stressful day I just play old records all evening to sort my head out.

"

ditto

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

A phone call to an ex....

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By *aninthemiddleMan
over a year ago

caerphilly

Its not being selfish i have shit days but think jow lucky we really are compared to others spend an hour with my kids and everything is rosy x

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

work for a full year doing your own job and two other peoples at the same time,then collapse with chest pains = six weeks off work and lots and lots of tests

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having some 'me' time when I can. Music and humour is my main release though.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Its not being selfish i have shit days but think jow lucky we really are compared to others spend an hour with my kids and everything is rosy x"
I did not think of you and your post as being selfish - it sounded very balanced and grounded to me.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Medication

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

I agree with writing them down. Once you have unloaded them onto that piece of paper. Some of them won't seem half as bad. You can then focus on solving some of them, without the rest cluttering up your thoughts

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I get demented when im stressed so take to my bed for a few days

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hypnotherapy! bloody brilliant, I had some years ago and after every session, was as chilled as a chilled thing for daaays."

I tried hypnotherapy but ended up just laying there wondering what I was supposed to be feeling.

It didn't work for me at all.

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By * n zCouple
over a year ago

leamington spa

A wise person once told me " don't worry about things you have no control over, or things that may never happen"

That can cut a lot of it out.

A

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"A wise person once told me " don't worry about things you have no control over, or things that may never happen"

That can cut a lot of it out.

A "

My tension pays no heed to logic, however sensible.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

For some people meditation can help as well

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"For some people meditation can help as well "

I do practice in putting my self in the "now"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"For some people meditation can help as well "

Diazepam works but unfortunately my doctor won't let me have any, the great meanie pants.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

Buddhist music can be really helpful...

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"For some people meditation can help as well

Diazepam works but unfortunately my doctor won't let me have any, the great meanie pants. "

Auntie karen has a cupboard full of medication that is better than diazepam.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For some people meditation can help as well

Diazepam works but unfortunately my doctor won't let me have any, the great meanie pants. "

Change yer doctor

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"For some people meditation can help as well

Diazepam works but unfortunately my doctor won't let me have any, the great meanie pants. "
I was the one suggesting meditation... but agree sometimes medication is necessary and helpful.

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By *nfieldishCouple
over a year ago

Enfield

Ask yourself what can u change or influence and work on those. Disregard the rest..... I have empathy and sympathy but if its not in my power to help. I am fine with that...

Sooze tries to help everyone... And ends up getting upset....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"For some people meditation can help as well

Diazepam works but unfortunately my doctor won't let me have any, the great meanie pants. I was the one suggesting meditation... but agree sometimes medication is necessary and helpful. "

I was accidentally on purpose misreading it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"For some people meditation can help as well

Diazepam works but unfortunately my doctor won't let me have any, the great meanie pants.

Auntie karen has a cupboard full of medication that is better than diazepam. "

Please pm me the teleporter co-ordinates!

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By *mileyBWoman
over a year ago

Northwood


"Sometimes it helps to make a list or a spider diagram with all the stresses, then a list of priorities, odepending on the severity of the impact. Often stresses are interlinked and related.

Most important is the recognition that no stress is lessened by worrying about it.

CBT and the way it looks at automated responses to triggers etc sometimes helps.

"

You knid of saaid what I was about to say.

Would certainly agree that stress doesn't improve any situation so rather a futile waste of energy.

CBT is ab fab if you can get your GP to refer you but on NHS 3 sessions is you rlimit and it's pricey privately but much more useful than councelling. It' It basically gives you the toolkit to survive life's ups and downs .. the ups and downs will never stop so yu have to change how you cope with them.

Try 'Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Dummies' self help guide which is hilarious, easy to follow and practical and much cheaper.

I also find when you're really on the brink and about to self combust with stress ... try Kalms.

Ease up on stimulants, caffeine etc and by the same token don't use depressants (alcohol) as a crutch. we all destress with a glass or two but watch your habits or you're creating more problems.

Distract yourself by doing things which make you happy.

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By *orkieMan
over a year ago

Who knows


"work for a full year doing your own job and two other peoples at the same time,then collapse with chest pains = six weeks off work and lots and lots of tests"

Learn how to say "No" is what I usually advise, either that or ask for a comparible pay increase

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By *iker BullMan
over a year ago

leeds


"Anyone managed it?

How does one learn to relax and be more chilled out?"
reefer

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I agree that cbt is m excellent idea. But dont rely on only needing a few sessions. Ive been doing it for ten years and i have improved from what i was like before.

Dont know about different areas but there was an 18months list to go in the nhs in my area

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cant believe noones said sex, or having a wank! i also bake cakes, smoke and actively seek to make my life as stress free as possible. today is the tommorrow we worried about yesterday and all is well. xxx

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

only sweat the big things,and nothings a big thing.

and

into every life,a little rain must fall.

sad but true,cliche's get me through.

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

just go out on me bike with the radio for a few hours and its all sorted and im chilled again .. i used to do long distance running but as age is catching up with me find the bike alot easier on the joints !

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By *mileyBWoman
over a year ago

Northwood


"For some people meditation can help as well

Diazepam works but unfortunately my doctor won't let me have any, the great meanie pants.

Auntie karen has a cupboard full of medication that is better than diazepam.

Please pm me the teleporter co-ordinates! "

*Big Loud X-Factor Buzzer* - don't get curious about Diazepam, you're unlikely to get any from you rgP anyway but it's high;y addictive and doesn't solve anything - learn to cope instead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've learned (at last) not to worry about things that I have no control over..somewhere between what will be will be and bollocks to em

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter


"For some people meditation can help as well

Diazepam works but unfortunately my doctor won't let me have any, the great meanie pants.

Auntie karen has a cupboard full of medication that is better than diazepam. "

I have some pethedine left over from mum.. havent had a need to take it tho.

I dont have trouble getting diazapam from my doc cos I use it for my back sometimes.

I been off meds since May and still as chilled as i was on them. Great ..Im lucky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally work wise I strive off stress, it is what makes me tick.

Otherwise other stresses I face, I use music, chatting to friends, relaxation, time to myself....I can be a stress bunny but only on a personal front.

I try to tackle that with reasoning, easy for me to say, yes, but hope you sort things out.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

thing is not to stress about stressing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Drive my car with very loud music and sing along to it at the top of my voice.

Walk the dog.

Hug the pets.

Stroke the cat while she purrs on my lap.

Practice my tap dance routines.

Eat and drink whatever I fancy.

Etc. etc...

Very chill here, after a nice dance class, been out to walk the dog in the cold, and am drinking a nice cup of hot Ribena.

Life is grand!

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By *umsuckMan
over a year ago

Gateshead

Might sound silly but I have an old pillow in cupboard that when I get really stressed I bring out and,well basicaly kick the shit out of it. Gets rid of the frustration,aggresive feeling, tension and tires me out so that I sleep soundly

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

My Buddhist nun friend sent me a link to a meditation web-site. Let me know if you want it and I will dig it out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Anyone managed it?

How does one learn to relax and be more chilled out?"

I found that coming off Microgynon and going on to a different combined pill (Ovysmen in my case) chilled me out significantly. And it wasn't coincidental...whilst on holiday one I didn't have my usual pill with me an had to buy Microgynon and the bitch was back!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"For some people meditation can help as well

Diazepam works but unfortunately my doctor won't let me have any, the great meanie pants.

Auntie karen has a cupboard full of medication that is better than diazepam.

Please pm me the teleporter co-ordinates!

*Big Loud X-Factor Buzzer* - don't get curious about Diazepam, you're unlikely to get any from you rgP anyway but it's high;y addictive and doesn't solve anything - learn to cope instead. "

I wasn't being serious, hence the tongue in cheek "meanie pants" comment.

I only know what the effects are as it's been prescribed for me a couple of times (short term!) for use as a muscle relaxant following injuries.

If relaxing was as simple as popping pills, and I was willing to do that, I wouldn't have started this thread to discuss relaxation methods.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My Buddhist nun friend sent me a link to a meditation web-site. Let me know if you want it and I will dig it out."

Yes please

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"My Buddhist nun friend sent me a link to a meditation web-site. Let me know if you want it and I will dig it out."

Does your Buddhist nun friend have a joint profile with a Trappist monk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Anyone managed it?

How does one learn to relax and be more chilled out?"

Draw a line in the sand.... And Never cross it...!!

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