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"Oh bollocks is that what I let myself in for when accepting the rose on Saturday? " You too. Lol I didn't get ruler though lol | |||
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"Oh bollocks is that what I let myself in for when accepting the rose on Saturday? You too. Lol I didn't get ruler though lol" I think you've got enough rulers already | |||
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"Oh bollocks is that what I let myself in for when accepting the rose on Saturday? You too. Lol I didn't get ruler though lol Haha the ruler came in handy at work as did the pencil sharpener! All for admiring a bum. I wonder if Funky Monkey does such an offer!! " Technically I am Invictus so yes I do! BTW Invictus do we include a 30 second premature ejaculation service? I'm good at that one! | |||
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"BTW Invictus do we include a 30 second premature ejaculation service? I'm good at that one! " Ahem! Not sure why I said that please ignore it everyone!!! | |||
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"Oh bollocks is that what I let myself in for when accepting the rose on Saturday? You too. Lol I didn't get ruler though lol Haha the ruler came in handy at work as did the pencil sharpener! All for admiring a bum. I wonder if Funky Monkey does such an offer!! Technically I am Invictus so yes I do! BTW Invictus do we include a 30 second premature ejaculation service? I'm good at that one! " I don't see why not. We could offer it with the 'anal surprise' service as well, or maybe the 'tea bagging' wake up call... | |||
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"Oh bollocks is that what I let myself in for when accepting the rose on Saturday? You too. Lol I didn't get ruler though lol Haha the ruler came in handy at work as did the pencil sharpener! All for admiring a bum. I wonder if Funky Monkey does such an offer!! Technically I am Invictus so yes I do! BTW Invictus do we include a 30 second premature ejaculation service? I'm good at that one! " Haha does that mean I'm automatically a lifelong member of the _unky monkey bum fan club as well? | |||
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"I wouldn't have it any other way " Surely M does not behave in such a manner!? | |||
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"I am soooo glad that I wisely decided a 'man is for life & not for xmas' so I'll stay single and take my own bin out, ps which option has the talking about the time machine, gliiter etc? " That's my default setting, with the full sensual seduction, erotic foreplay and intimate yet tastefully lustful encounter The boyfriend experience is designed for ladies who want reminding why they are still single | |||
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"A full three minutes? That seems a bit long for a caveman" ...that includeds the two minute fumble to find the way in | |||
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"Oh bollocks is that what I let myself in for when accepting the rose on Saturday? You too. Lol I didn't get ruler though lol Haha the ruler came in handy at work as did the pencil sharpener! All for admiring a bum. I wonder if Funky Monkey does such an offer!! Technically I am Invictus so yes I do! BTW Invictus do we include a 30 second premature ejaculation service? I'm good at that one! Haha does that mean I'm automatically a lifelong member of the _unky monkey bum fan club as well? " Yes you don't even have to pay my subs. {------ lol @ subs - see what I did there. It was a play on words to do with club subs and the fact I have a hareem of subs! Oh shut up! It IS funny even if you have to explain it!!! | |||
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"I wouldn't have it any other way Surely M does not behave in such a manner!? " Only in some ways | |||
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"I wouldn't have it any other way Surely M does not behave in such a manner!? Only in some ways" I bet he does the old trapping you under the duvet while he farts trick! That just never gets tired and we all know you ladies secretly love it! | |||
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"I wouldn't have it any other way Surely M does not behave in such a manner!? Only in some ways I bet he does the old trapping you under the duvet while he farts trick! That just never gets tired and we all know you ladies secretly love it! " I'd be upset if he didn't | |||
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"Do you do the getting d*unk, staggering up, still mostly comatose, in the middle of the night and pissing in the wardrobe before going back to bed option?" Or laying on the bed fully clothed, expecting someone else to take their clothes off and put them to bed | |||
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"Do you do the getting d*unk, staggering up, still mostly comatose, in the middle of the night and pissing in the wardrobe before going back to bed option?" I'd forgotten that one - an essential part of the boyfriend experience. Or the pissing out of the window! | |||
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"Do you do the getting d*unk, staggering up, still mostly comatose, in the middle of the night and pissing in the wardrobe before going back to bed option? I'd forgotten that one - an essential part of the boyfriend experience. Or the pissing out of the window!" Or sink! | |||
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"Do you do the getting d*unk, staggering up, still mostly comatose, in the middle of the night and pissing in the wardrobe before going back to bed option?" I know someone who took a crap in his father in law's tie draw in the middle of the night pissed! Is this something you might be interested in? | |||
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"Do you do the getting d*unk, staggering up, still mostly comatose, in the middle of the night and pissing in the wardrobe before going back to bed option? I'd forgotten that one - an essential part of the boyfriend experience. Or the pissing out of the window!" I can do that. As long as yoy pay for the beer | |||
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"Do you do the getting d*unk, staggering up, still mostly comatose, in the middle of the night and pissing in the wardrobe before going back to bed option? I know someone who took a crap in his father in law's tie draw in the middle of the night pissed! Is this something you might be interested in?" When you say you 'know someone' how closely do you know them? | |||
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"Do you do the getting d*unk, staggering up, still mostly comatose, in the middle of the night and pissing in the wardrobe before going back to bed option? I know someone who took a crap in his father in law's tie draw in the middle of the night pissed! Is this something you might be interested in? When you say you 'know someone' how closely do you know them?" | |||
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"Do you do the getting d*unk, staggering up, still mostly comatose, in the middle of the night and pissing in the wardrobe before going back to bed option? I know someone who took a crap in his father in law's tie draw in the middle of the night pissed! Is this something you might be interested in? When you say you 'know someone' how closely do you know them? " I thought so! Take down that naughty botty avatar this instant. | |||
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"After sending out so many of my cards recently with my famous 'boyfriend experience' mentioned on it, I thought it might be easier if I explained the whole service here rather than by PM to the hordes of eager ladies who mail me every hour. So here it is laid bare, the Invictus Boyfriend Experience: The sevice begins by me blustering in the door, bellowing 'I'm home - get the tea on!' before slapping your arse and going 'honk honk' on your boobs. I will then grab a four pack of beers from the fridge and slump in the armchair in front of the TV while maintaining an air of cozy flatulence and guarding the remote with my life. After you have brought me tea on a tray, for which I momentarily give you my attention with a grunt, I will finally find a channel with either football or a crap action film and proceed to shout at the TV occasionally through a mouthfull of food. After several hours of watching TV, with the occasional demand that you fetch me crisps or more beer, you will begin to feel a little tired and go to bed. Firstly clearing up the pile of empty cans and crisp packets around the chair. Just as you have finished all your feminine bedtime rituals and snuggled alone under the duvet and begin to doze off I will crash into the room switch on the brightest light and proceed to strip doen to my y-fronts, vest and socks before bouncing into bed. No sooner will I be in bed than I will gently enquire 'how about it love?' and proceed to stick my tongue down your throat and molest your bum with my cold hands and ragged nails. After a brief period of beer flavoured tonsil wrestling I will then give each boob another 'honk honk' before slapping my hand unceremoniously between your legs and utterly failing to find your clitoris after a few minutes of frantic fiddling. Having skillfully acertained you are 'up for it' I will clamber aboard and ram inside you with a suitable film quote such as 'I'm going in, cover me!' After three minutes of frantic banging away interspersed with grunts and the occasional attempt to twist your nipples off I will finally climax and roll off you proclaiming 'cheers love, I bet your sorted for a few weeks after that! Hur! Hur!' before elbowing you and laughing. Having rolled over with most of the duvet and leaving you with the wet patch, I will fart, belch and quickly start to snore loudly. The morning will see me crashing about again with bright lights and more farting and ball scratching before I proceed to leave the wet toilet seat down and skid marks in the pan. My beard hair will be artfully arranged around the sink and a sopping wet towel will be wedged under the bathroom door. With a cheery 'see you later' and a slap on the arse I will crash down the stairs, slam the front door and be on my way leaving you longing for me to return... So there we have it ladies. The famous Boyfriend Experience laid bare. You know where I am, message me for a booking but be patient though, I've got a lot of you randy bints to work through " Have you lifted that out of my latest book, "How to keep a woman happy" and it's companion leaflet, "I suppose a shag's out of the question then?" | |||
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"See? Hundreds of them after it! I'm done with all this seduction, romance and rose giving crap! I'm off out to buy some y-fronts and a string vest " All I can say is it should be called the Rab C Nesbitt experience lmao | |||
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"What an utterly charming young man....we must get one of those " Young? Thank you not often I get that | |||
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"Do you do the getting d*unk, staggering up, still mostly comatose, in the middle of the night and pissing in the wardrobe before going back to bed option?" Lmfao my ex did that too ! | |||
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"Do you do the getting d*unk, staggering up, still mostly comatose, in the middle of the night and pissing in the wardrobe before going back to bed option? Lmfao my ex did that too !" Hello dear, what a surprise meeting you on here! | |||
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"Speechless.......... " Is that a 'yes' then? | |||
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"Well I might have a booking set up here ...I'd best get some Y-fronts and a string vest! " You mean clean ones this time surely | |||
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"Well I might have a booking set up here ...I'd best get some Y-fronts and a string vest! You mean clean ones this time surely " Not for long... | |||
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"Bump Challenge! This thread made me howl with laughter!" Viccie-boi-boy always make's me howl with laughter........ top-bloke and a very funny thread,,, | |||
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"Bump Challenge! This thread made me howl with laughter! Viccie-boi-boy always make's me howl with laughter........ top-bloke and a very funny thread,,, " He did a few like this! | |||
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"Bump Challenge! This thread made me howl with laughter! Viccie-boi-boy always make's me howl with laughter........ top-bloke and a very funny thread,,, " | |||
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"Bump Challenge! This thread made me howl with laughter! Viccie-boi-boy always make's me howl with laughter........ top-bloke and a very funny thread,,, " Where's he gone? I miss him. | |||
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"Bump Challenge! This thread made me howl with laughter! Viccie-boi-boy always make's me howl with laughter........ top-bloke and a very funny thread,,, Where's he gone? I miss him." Some say he is still among us . . . | |||
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"Bump Challenge! This thread made me howl with laughter! Viccie-boi-boy always make's me howl with laughter........ top-bloke and a very funny thread,,, " great guy x and funny threads.. | |||
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"After sending out so many of my cards recently with my famous 'boyfriend experience' mentioned on it, I thought it might be easier if I explained the whole service here rather than by PM to the hordes of eager ladies who mail me every hour. So here it is laid bare, the Invictus Boyfriend Experience: The sevice begins by me blustering in the door, bellowing 'I'm home - get the tea on!' before slapping your arse and going 'honk honk' on your boobs. I will then grab a four pack of beers from the fridge and slump in the armchair in front of the TV while maintaining an air of cozy flatulence and guarding the remote with my life. After you have brought me tea on a tray, for which I momentarily give you my attention with a grunt, I will finally find a channel with either football or a crap action film and proceed to shout at the TV occasionally through a mouthfull of food. After several hours of watching TV, with the occasional demand that you fetch me crisps or more beer, you will begin to feel a little tired and go to bed. Firstly clearing up the pile of empty cans and crisp packets around the chair. Just as you have finished all your feminine bedtime rituals and snuggled alone under the duvet and begin to doze off I will crash into the room switch on the brightest light and proceed to strip doen to my y-fronts, vest and socks before bouncing into bed. No sooner will I be in bed than I will gently enquire 'how about it love?' and proceed to stick my tongue down your throat and molest your bum with my cold hands and ragged nails. After a brief period of beer flavoured tonsil wrestling I will then give each boob another 'honk honk' before slapping my hand unceremoniously between your legs and utterly failing to find your clitoris after a few minutes of frantic fiddling. Having skillfully acertained you are 'up for it' I will clamber aboard and ram inside you with a suitable film quote such as 'I'm going in, cover me!' After three minutes of frantic banging away interspersed with grunts and the occasional attempt to twist your nipples off I will finally climax and roll off you proclaiming 'cheers love, I bet your sorted for a few weeks after that! Hur! Hur!' before elbowing you and laughing. Having rolled over with most of the duvet and leaving you with the wet patch, I will fart, belch and quickly start to snore loudly. The morning will see me crashing about again with bright lights and more farting and ball scratching before I proceed to leave the wet toilet seat down and skid marks in the pan. My beard hair will be artfully arranged around the sink and a sopping wet towel will be wedged under the bathroom door. With a cheery 'see you later' and a slap on the arse I will crash down the stairs, slam the front door and be on my way leaving you longing for me to return... So there we have it ladies. The famous Boyfriend Experience laid bare. You know where I am, message me for a booking but be patient though, I've got a lot of you randy bints to work through _nvictus they made a film about mate its called WHAT EVERY WOMAN WANTS you have got it all my hero " | |||
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"After sending out so many of my cards recently with my famous 'boyfriend experience' mentioned on it, I thought it might be easier if I explained the whole service here rather than by PM to the hordes of eager ladies who mail me every hour. So here it is laid bare, the Invictus Boyfriend Experience: The sevice begins by me blustering in the door, bellowing 'I'm home - get the tea on!' before slapping your arse and going 'honk honk' on your boobs. I will then grab a four pack of beers from the fridge and slump in the armchair in front of the TV while maintaining an air of cozy flatulence and guarding the remote with my life. After you have brought me tea on a tray, for which I momentarily give you my attention with a grunt, I will finally find a channel with either football or a crap action film and proceed to shout at the TV occasionally through a mouthfull of food. After several hours of watching TV, with the occasional demand that you fetch me crisps or more beer, you will begin to feel a little tired and go to bed. Firstly clearing up the pile of empty cans and crisp packets around the chair. Just as you have finished all your feminine bedtime rituals and snuggled alone under the duvet and begin to doze off I will crash into the room switch on the brightest light and proceed to strip doen to my y-fronts, vest and socks before bouncing into bed. No sooner will I be in bed than I will gently enquire 'how about it love?' and proceed to stick my tongue down your throat and molest your bum with my cold hands and ragged nails. After a brief period of beer flavoured tonsil wrestling I will then give each boob another 'honk honk' before slapping my hand unceremoniously between your legs and utterly failing to find your clitoris after a few minutes of frantic fiddling. Having skillfully acertained you are 'up for it' I will clamber aboard and ram inside you with a suitable film quote such as 'I'm going in, cover me!' After three minutes of frantic banging away interspersed with grunts and the occasional attempt to twist your nipples off I will finally climax and roll off you proclaiming 'cheers love, I bet your sorted for a few weeks after that! Hur! Hur!' before elbowing you and laughing. Having rolled over with most of the duvet and leaving you with the wet patch, I will fart, belch and quickly start to snore loudly. The morning will see me crashing about again with bright lights and more farting and ball scratching before I proceed to leave the wet toilet seat down and skid marks in the pan. My beard hair will be artfully arranged around the sink and a sopping wet towel will be wedged under the bathroom door. With a cheery 'see you later' and a slap on the arse I will crash down the stairs, slam the front door and be on my way leaving you longing for me to return... So there we have it ladies. The famous Boyfriend Experience laid bare. You know where I am, message me for a booking but be patient though, I've got a lot of you randy bints to work through " EEK hes got hidden cameras in my house.... | |||
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"Miss Invictus and his posts... anyone know where he's gone..???? ted." I haven't seen him for ages. | |||
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"Miss Invictus and his posts... anyone know where he's gone..???? ted. I haven't seen him for ages. " My guess is he's settled down with someone that really couldnt pass up the experience. | |||
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"Miss Invictus and his posts... anyone know where he's gone..???? ted." I was only gone 5 minutes!!! What is wrong with you people?!? | |||
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"i didnt know you had gone anywhere lol " | |||
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"After sending out so many of my cards recently with my famous 'boyfriend experience' mentioned on it, I thought it might be easier if I explained the whole service here rather than by PM to the hordes of eager ladies who mail me every hour. So here it is laid bare, the Invictus Boyfriend Experience: The sevice begins by me blustering in the door, bellowing 'I'm home - get the tea on!' before slapping your arse and going 'honk honk' on your boobs. I will then grab a four pack of beers from the fridge and slump in the armchair in front of the TV while maintaining an air of cozy flatulence and guarding the remote with my life. After you have brought me tea on a tray, for which I momentarily give you my attention with a grunt, I will finally find a channel with either football or a crap action film and proceed to shout at the TV occasionally through a mouthfull of food. After several hours of watching TV, with the occasional demand that you fetch me crisps or more beer, you will begin to feel a little tired and go to bed. Firstly clearing up the pile of empty cans and crisp packets around the chair. Just as you have finished all your feminine bedtime rituals and snuggled alone under the duvet and begin to doze off I will crash into the room switch on the brightest light and proceed to strip doen to my y-fronts, vest and socks before bouncing into bed. No sooner will I be in bed than I will gently enquire 'how about it love?' and proceed to stick my tongue down your throat and molest your bum with my cold hands and ragged nails. After a brief period of beer flavoured tonsil wrestling I will then give each boob another 'honk honk' before slapping my hand unceremoniously between your legs and utterly failing to find your clitoris after a few minutes of frantic fiddling. Having skillfully acertained you are 'up for it' I will clamber aboard and ram inside you with a suitable film quote such as 'I'm going in, cover me!' After three minutes of frantic banging away interspersed with grunts and the occasional attempt to twist your nipples off I will finally climax and roll off you proclaiming 'cheers love, I bet your sorted for a few weeks after that! Hur! Hur!' before elbowing you and laughing. Having rolled over with most of the duvet and leaving you with the wet patch, I will fart, belch and quickly start to snore loudly. The morning will see me crashing about again with bright lights and more farting and ball scratching before I proceed to leave the wet toilet seat down and skid marks in the pan. My beard hair will be artfully arranged around the sink and a sopping wet towel will be wedged under the bathroom door. With a cheery 'see you later' and a slap on the arse I will crash down the stairs, slam the front door and be on my way leaving you longing for me to return... So there we have it ladies. The famous Boyfriend Experience laid bare. You know where I am, message me for a booking but be patient though, I've got a lot of you randy bints to work through " Hahaha pmsl. The good old days I do miss them lol | |||
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"What is wrong with you people?!? " Answering that one could take a while... | |||
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"What is wrong with you people?!? Answering that one could take a while..." I've got all the time im my time-machine, baby | |||
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"Well the Boy Friend experience seems like a win win situation " Guaranteed dissatisfaction every time... | |||
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"Well the Boy Friend experience seems like a win win situation Guaranteed dissatisfaction every time..." Just like the real thing then | |||
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"Miss Invictus and his posts... anyone know where he's gone..???? ted. I was only gone 5 minutes!!! What is wrong with you people?!? " Time travelling again _nvictus?. Have you run out of glitter power? | |||
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"Yeah go on then, I'm game for it I'd need some kinda guarantee as well though if it all goes tits up " Beat me to it! I was just looking for this thread. | |||
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"After sending out so many of my cards recently with my famous 'boyfriend experience' mentioned on it, I thought it might be easier if I explained the whole service here rather than by PM to the hordes of eager ladies who mail me every hour. So here it is laid bare, the Invictus Boyfriend Experience: The sevice begins by me blustering in the door, bellowing 'I'm home - get the tea on!' before slapping your arse and going 'honk honk' on your boobs. I will then grab a four pack of beers from the fridge and slump in the armchair in front of the TV while maintaining an air of cozy flatulence and guarding the remote with my life. After you have brought me tea on a tray, for which I momentarily give you my attention with a grunt, I will finally find a channel with either football or a crap action film and proceed to shout at the TV occasionally through a mouthfull of food. After several hours of watching TV, with the occasional demand that you fetch me crisps or more beer, you will begin to feel a little tired and go to bed. Firstly clearing up the pile of empty cans and crisp packets around the chair. Just as you have finished all your feminine bedtime rituals and snuggled alone under the duvet and begin to doze off I will crash into the room switch on the brightest light and proceed to strip doen to my y-fronts, vest and socks before bouncing into bed. No sooner will I be in bed than I will gently enquire 'how about it love?' and proceed to stick my tongue down your throat and molest your bum with my cold hands and ragged nails. After a brief period of beer flavoured tonsil wrestling I will then give each boob another 'honk honk' before slapping my hand unceremoniously between your legs and utterly failing to find your clitoris after a few minutes of frantic fiddling. Having skillfully acertained you are 'up for it' I will clamber aboard and ram inside you with a suitable film quote such as 'I'm going in, cover me!' After three minutes of frantic banging away interspersed with grunts and the occasional attempt to twist your nipples off I will finally climax and roll off you proclaiming 'cheers love, I bet your sorted for a few weeks after that! Hur! Hur!' before elbowing you and laughing. Having rolled over with most of the duvet and leaving you with the wet patch, I will fart, belch and quickly start to snore loudly. The morning will see me crashing about again with bright lights and more farting and ball scratching before I proceed to leave the wet toilet seat down and skid marks in the pan. My beard hair will be artfully arranged around the sink and a sopping wet towel will be wedged under the bathroom door. With a cheery 'see you later' and a slap on the arse I will crash down the stairs, slam the front door and be on my way leaving you longing for me to return... So there we have it ladies. The famous Boyfriend Experience laid bare. You know where I am, message me for a booking but be patient though, I've got a lot of you randy bints to work through " That's brill. My EX to a T | |||
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"Yeah go on then, I'm game for it I'd need some kinda guarantee as well though if it all goes tits up Beat me to it! I was just looking for this thread. " Ha ha, is it great minds, or fools seldom...... | |||
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"Yeah go on then, I'm game for it I'd need some kinda guarantee as well though if it all goes tits up Beat me to it! I was just looking for this thread. Ha ha, is it great minds, or fools seldom...... " More a case of, been here too long. | |||
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"I thought of this thread too when I saw Sophie's thread earlier. I wish old threads had date stamps on them. " I think it was 2013. | |||
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"Another oldie but goodie...... A" You are on fire tonight, I LOVE this! Vicci is a leg end. | |||
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"Another oldie but goodie...... A You are on fire tonight, I LOVE this! Vicci is a leg end. " Or as Fox calls him......the one that got away. There's an old Funky thread floating around in Swingers Chat. A | |||
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" I miss his posts , him and Funky were a great double act. " He has a hilarious profile - I'mjealous. | |||
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" I miss his posts , him and Funky were a great double act. " And don't forget Soxy for the treble. | |||
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