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Eaten Alice by a Python

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Reports in the Telegraph that a grandmother was out collecting rubber on island called Sumatra. Rubber actually grows on the trees in that region and is harvested by locals. They found a huge python over 20 feet long and cut the evil serpent open and found the old lady who by now was dead. People say our streets are dangerous but danger lurks everywhere. Even on remote tropical islands

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They say Sumatra is a Wonderland.

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

What is the world coming to when snakes are eating meat past its sell by date...?

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

Sumatra was on my daily random laptop screensaver yesterday! If there are man-eating pythons there it has no place on a screensaver!!

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

Was Alice en route to a tea party?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I here the sentences islands are ment to be beautiful as everyone who has travelled there has never came back

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester


"Reports in the Telegraph that a grandmother was out collecting rubber on island called Sumatra. Rubber actually grows on the trees in that region and is harvested by locals. They found a huge python over 20 feet long and cut the evil serpent open and found the old lady who by now was dead. People say our streets are dangerous but danger lurks everywhere. Even on remote tropical islands "
maybe she charmed her way in

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

'Alice-in-Blunder' Land.

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Sorry People's...

Tom did a typo...

Alive not Alice

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By *uck-RogersMan
over a year ago

Oakhill

Who the fuck is Alice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apparently the snake was well known to the locals who had christened it Frank.

After the death of the old lady the local radio station played a song in tribute This is for Frank Sumatra "I've got you under my skin"

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish


"Apparently the snake was well known to the locals who had christened it Frank.

After the death of the old lady the local radio station played a song in tribute This is for Frank Sumatra "I've got you under my skin""

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been a while since I saw a python.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"Reports in the Telegraph that a grandmother was out collecting rubber on island called Sumatra. Rubber actually grows on the trees in that region and is harvested by locals. They found a huge python over 20 feet long and cut the evil serpent open and found the old lady who by now was dead. People say our streets are dangerous but danger lurks everywhere. Even on remote tropical islands "

A bit rich to swallow Tom

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

[Removed by poster at 26/10/22 09:23:07]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"[Alice Removed from Python by poster at 26/10/22 09:23:07]"

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field


"Reports in the Telegraph that a grandmother was out collecting rubber on island called Sumatra. Rubber actually grows on the trees in that region and is harvested by locals. They found a huge python over 20 feet long and cut the evil serpent open and found the old lady who by now was dead. People say our streets are dangerous but danger lurks everywhere. Even on remote tropical islands "

You’re talking absolute bollocks Tom

Rubber doesn’t grow on trees, but it is made from the latex found in them.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

What a way to go

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

Poor snake

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales


"Poor snake "

Bet they made a few handbags out of it - waste not want not and all that

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Evil buggers.

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington


"Poor snake

Bet they made a few handbags out of it - waste not want not and all that "
20ft long that’s some hand bags and shoes you could make every cloud and all that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What a way to go "

I wouldn't mind being sucked to death

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I read the news article yesterday and felt sick thankfully they blurred out pictures of the remains of the lady. I wouldn’t wish that death on anybody.

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By *ekked JackMan
over a year ago

South Lanarkshire


"Been a while since I saw a python. "

Bullshit...you watched that programme the other night..you know the one I was on.

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"Reports in the Telegraph that a grandmother was out collecting rubber on island called Sumatra. Rubber actually grows on the trees in that region and is harvested by locals. They found a huge python over 20 feet long and cut the evil serpent open and found the old lady who by now was dead. People say our streets are dangerous but danger lurks everywhere. Even on remote tropical islands

You’re talking absolute bollocks Tom

Rubber doesn’t grow on trees, but it is made from the latex found in them.

"

They are called rubber trees for a reason.. not latex trees.. the trees actually grow rubber but most car tyres have artificial rubber these days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hilarious isn't it some old lady being killed in a horrible way

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

These buggers create havoc in Florida . A plague on these python buggers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"These buggers create havoc in Florida . A plague on these python buggers "

Miami Vice Grip

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Tom is serious.. this merciless beast would have watched the old lady picking rubber off the tree then manoeuvred in a position to strike.. Angry villagers have made sure that this satanic beast can no longer prey on humans

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington


"Hilarious isn't it some old lady being killed in a horrible way "
who’s said it’s funny?

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"Tom is serious.. this merciless beast would have watched the old lady picking rubber off the tree then manoeuvred in a position to strike.. Angry villagers have made sure that this satanic beast can no longer prey on humans "

Wonder if they have to wait until the rubber fruit is ripe

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington


"Tom is serious.. this merciless beast would have watched the old lady picking rubber off the tree then manoeuvred in a position to strike.. Angry villagers have made sure that this satanic beast can no longer prey on humans "
it’s a snakes instinct to kill to feed itself it can hardly slither in to Asda and fill its trolley up maybe humans should keep out of places where snakes hang about play daft games win silly prizes unfortunately the lady was in the wrong place at wrong time

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By *emma HoldenTV/TS
over a year ago

Ramsey


"Reports in the Telegraph that a grandmother was out collecting rubber on island called Sumatra. Rubber actually grows on the trees in that region and is harvested by locals. They found a huge python over 20 feet long and cut the evil serpent open and found the old lady who by now was dead. People say our streets are dangerous but danger lurks everywhere. Even on remote tropical islands

You’re talking absolute bollocks Tom

Rubber doesn’t grow on trees, but it is made from the latex found in them.

They are called rubber trees for a reason.. not latex trees.. the trees actually grow rubber but most car tyres have artificial rubber these days "

They cut slits in the trunks & let the latex liquid drain out & collect it. Since when is that growing rubber like growing bananas or pineapples etc. Facts matter!

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By *sleWightCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Ryde

They usually just live off the local wildlife, but this Python obviously thought:

"And now for something completely different..."

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"Reports in the Telegraph that a grandmother was out collecting rubber on island called Sumatra. Rubber actually grows on the trees in that region and is harvested by locals. They found a huge python over 20 feet long and cut the evil serpent open and found the old lady who by now was dead. People say our streets are dangerous but danger lurks everywhere. Even on remote tropical islands

You’re talking absolute bollocks Tom

Rubber doesn’t grow on trees, but it is made from the latex found in them.

They are called rubber trees for a reason.. not latex trees.. the trees actually grow rubber but most car tyres have artificial rubber these days

They cut slits in the trunks & let the latex liquid drain out & collect it. Since when is that growing rubber like growing bananas or pineapples etc. Facts matter! "

Facts matter? This is fab....

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

[Removed by poster at 27/10/22 18:23:19]

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Hilarious isn't it some old lady being killed in a horrible way "

Old ? She was 54

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

She was a grandmother and in some countries when they reach 50 it's a ripe old age..

This python played with fire and got his fingers burnt ..

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"Hilarious isn't it some old lady being killed in a horrible way

Old ? She was 54 "

She was not 54

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

You've got it backwards, Tommy-boy.

I can tell you for a fact that it's Alice who eats the pythons!

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By *yron69Man
over a year ago

Fareham

I got nipped by a fish once so can appreciate the horror .

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Tom is serious.. this merciless beast would have watched the old lady picking rubber off the tree then manoeuvred in a position to strike.. Angry villagers have made sure that this satanic beast can no longer prey on humans "

If Tom wants to be taken seriously maybe he shouldn't speak in the 3rd person.

What an evil snake doing what snakes do!

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By *obyn GravesTV/TS
over a year ago

1127 walnut avenue

Maybe the python swallowed the old lady to catch the fly..

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

In some populations the elders only guess at their ages..

They really don't know and who cares ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Poor python, what had it do e wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"They usually just live off the local wildlife, but this Python obviously thought:

"And now for something completely different...""

Quality

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"Poor python, what had it do e wrong. "

It devoured an elderly lady ..

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Poor python, what had it do e wrong.

It devoured an elderly lady ..

"

It's what they do!

Do you also complain when tigers attack villagers? Are they satanic too?

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Maybe the python swallowed the old lady to catch the fly.. "

But why?

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"Poor python, what had it do e wrong.

It devoured an elderly lady ..

It's what they do!

Do you also complain when tigers attack villagers? Are they satanic too? "

Totally..

They have their own jungle...we have ours

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field


"Reports in the Telegraph that a grandmother was out collecting rubber on island called Sumatra. Rubber actually grows on the trees in that region and is harvested by locals. They found a huge python over 20 feet long and cut the evil serpent open and found the old lady who by now was dead. People say our streets are dangerous but danger lurks everywhere. Even on remote tropical islands

You’re talking absolute bollocks Tom

Rubber doesn’t grow on trees, but it is made from the latex found in them.

They are called rubber trees for a reason.. not latex trees.. the trees actually grow rubber but most car tyres have artificial rubber these days "

So why are Ash trees called Ash trees then Tom? you only get ash from them when you burn them...but thats the same as all the other trees

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Do you also complain when tigers attack villagers? Are they satanic too?

Totally..

They have their own jungle...we have ours"

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"Reports in the Telegraph that a grandmother was out collecting rubber on island called Sumatra. Rubber actually grows on the trees in that region and is harvested by locals. They found a huge python over 20 feet long and cut the evil serpent open and found the old lady who by now was dead. People say our streets are dangerous but danger lurks everywhere. Even on remote tropical islands

You’re talking absolute bollocks Tom

Rubber doesn’t grow on trees, but it is made from the latex found in them.

They are called rubber trees for a reason.. not latex trees.. the trees actually grow rubber but most car tyres have artificial rubber these days

So why are Ash trees called Ash trees then Tom? you only get ash from them when you burn them...but thats the same as all the other trees"

Ash trees are named after the musical piece called the Ash Grove ....

And rubber does grow on trees

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field


"Reports in the Telegraph that a grandmother was out collecting rubber on island called Sumatra. Rubber actually grows on the trees in that region and is harvested by locals. They found a huge python over 20 feet long and cut the evil serpent open and found the old lady who by now was dead. People say our streets are dangerous but danger lurks everywhere. Even on remote tropical islands

You’re talking absolute bollocks Tom

Rubber doesn’t grow on trees, but it is made from the latex found in them.

They are called rubber trees for a reason.. not latex trees.. the trees actually grow rubber but most car tyres have artificial rubber these days

So why are Ash trees called Ash trees then Tom? you only get ash from them when you burn them...but thats the same as all the other trees

Ash trees are named after the musical piece called the Ash Grove ....

And rubber does grow on trees "

Bit like spaghetti them Tom? it was all over the telly in the 70's

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"Reports in the Telegraph that a grandmother was out collecting rubber on island called Sumatra. Rubber actually grows on the trees in that region and is harvested by locals. They found a huge python over 20 feet long and cut the evil serpent open and found the old lady who by now was dead. People say our streets are dangerous but danger lurks everywhere. Even on remote tropical islands

You’re talking absolute bollocks Tom

Rubber doesn’t grow on trees, but it is made from the latex found in them.

They are called rubber trees for a reason.. not latex trees.. the trees actually grow rubber but most car tyres have artificial rubber these days

So why are Ash trees called Ash trees then Tom? you only get ash from them when you burn them...but thats the same as all the other trees"

Beaches from beach trees?

Fur from fir trees?

Lime from lime trees?

Planes from plane trees?

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

And rubber from rubber trees

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field


"And rubber from rubber trees "

Where does wood come from Tom?

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"And rubber from rubber trees

Where does wood come from Tom?"

A sawmill

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

Could you use the rubber to fashion a rudimentary condom? Maybe with a 4 inch extension on the top housing a gyrator vibrator making it appear that your cock knew all the moves from Saturday night fever? Asking for a friend.

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By *asycouple1971Couple
over a year ago

midlands

How can you not notice a snake that big?

They arent really fast creatures are they when they are that big?

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"How can you not notice a snake that big?

They arent really fast creatures are they when they are that big?

"

They can move at 3 metres a second and accelerate quickly. However, it might have been in a tree above her.

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

Where’s Mick Dundee when you need him

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

anyone done ‘Alice, Alice, who the fuck is Alice’ yet ?

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

It was probably watching for days then dropped out of the tree...

Evil bugger

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

Maybe it came in by parachute?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How can you not notice a snake that big?

They arent really fast creatures are they when they are that big?

"

You would certainly notice it chewing on your feet I would think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Obviously the greedy snake couldn’t just stop at eating her pussy.

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

This evil serpent devoured the old lady whole.. it lay in wait and took its chance.

Snakes are slippery evil buggers

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field


"It was probably watching for days then dropped out of the tree...

Evil bugger "

So if it came from a tree, it must be a rubber snake them Tom?

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"This evil serpent devoured the old lady whole.. it lay in wait and took its chance.

Snakes are slippery evil buggers "

They're not slippery. Has Tom never held a snake?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Read the story as well just as deadly are sumatra Crocodiles

Big and nasty

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"This evil serpent devoured the old lady whole.. it lay in wait and took its chance.

Snakes are slippery evil buggers

They're not slippery. Has Tom never held a snake? "

Tom has held a trouser snake

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