FabSwingers.com forum: NSA.....does it ever really mean NSA

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Tell me about your NSA fun? do you get straight down to it? do you stay over night? do you have breakfast/chats etc?

So I've been having NSA with a friend and its just utterly fantastic, same wave length, same kinks etc. We get on very well as friends. I go to his, we end up chatting for hours and end up having lots of fun, I stop over, more fun in morning, breakfast and I go home.

He isn't seeing anyone else for NSA fun and nor am I. Over the last few days I can not stop thinking about him.

I've had NSA fun before with men and have never really developed feelings for them.

Is this something that just naturally happens with some people? I feel like kicking myself as I'm normally so good at keeping my feelings out of it.

I know I should probably just talk to him about this.

Just wanted to put it out there and release a big gggggrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

If you start spending time with them then I personally don't think its NSA any more. I try and stick to one off meets but have a couple of friends with benefits and I've had problems with feelings for both of them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ooooooo - hurt alert!!!!!! best tell him now - he will either do a runner or feel the same - damage limitation

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

with me it does, no strings means exactly that.

I am single and will remain so, I will play but do not want a couple profile, I will do repeat meets but prefer meeting for the first time, I am very guilty of getting bored very quickly and that is not always a good thing but I am honest about it.

people can take me or leave me, I am cool with that

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

been meeting guys for many years and can honestly say no i have neva experienced this.

Have gone into each encounter with the _iew that it is NSA sex and neva really think about them much until the next encounter.

I would be quite concerned if this did happen as I think it cud seriously rock an other wise ideal scenario that both of u have and may scare him away .. hope however it does work out for u both as apart from this recent development it does sound rather ideal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doncha mean take ya and leave ya .....

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

for a long time i could do NSA easy. there were the odd one or two that i would get closer to but i knew what it was ultimately which is why i never got upset if they cancelled or if i saw a new veri on their profile.

I dont think that allowing people to stay over means it is more than NSA providing you know in your mind that it is just NSA.

I think you do need to speak to tis guy and see how things are with him, you never know you might be pleasently surprised. then again you might find he doenst want anything more but at least you will know and it will save you constantly thinking and hoping.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tell me about your NSA fun? do you get straight down to it? do you stay over night? do you have breakfast/chats etc?

He isn't seeing anyone else for NSA fun and nor am I. Over the last few days I can not stop thinking about him.

I've had NSA fun before with men and have never really developed feelings for them.

Is this something that just naturally happens with some people? I feel like kicking myself as I'm normally so good at keeping my feelings out of it.

I know I should probably just talk to him about this.

Just wanted to put it out there and release a big gggggrrrrrrrrrrrrr"

Well I would say ask Pinocchio as he is an expert on no strings, however but history tells us he is a lying bastard and you can't believe a word he says!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well I would say ask Pinocchio as he is an expert on no strings, however but history tells us he is a lying bastard and you can't believe a word he says!

Ah yes but at least you can tell when he's spinning a yarn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose it is something I will not encounter, being part of a couple, not a fb.

No strings means that entirely for us, wouldn't have it any other way.

However I can see being single on here there is a danger of falling for someone, or getting too attached.

Nothing wrong with that at all, but I would strongly advise if you feel this way to talk to him and see where you stand.

You need to know and will save a lot of heartache and also set things clearly as to where you go from here.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been thinking about how to describe NSA sexy fun to vanilla peeps, and this is what I come up with.

Sexy fun is a recreational activity that I enjoy from time to time, like camping.

I would travel to try different camp sites at different part of the country/continent.

When I find one that I like, because of the location, ambience, staff, facilities etc., I would keep it as a favourite and return to it whenever I can.

However, I would still try different camp sites in the hope I can find other gems.

If I go back to just one site time and time again, I would eventually get bored with it. The joy I get from camping is not dependent on just one camp site.

And I have a handful of favourites, just like playmates.

Makes sense? It does to me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I just don't know where it has come from and the NSA has been going on for a while.

I may just keep quiet and hope it's a phase I'm going through haha.

The current situation is ideal. When we first started we both agreed our lives are too busy for anything more and that's fine - I still stand by that.

I'm not saying I want a relationship with him as such, I'm just trying to make sense of these feelings or maybe I should just stop over thinking the feelings and they will go.

I'm seeing him Saturday so will hopefully get my head sorted by then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have been thinking about how to describe NSA sexy fun to vanilla peeps, and this is what I come up with.

Sexy fun is a recreational activity that I enjoy from time to time, like camping.

I would travel to try different camp sites at different part of the country/continent.

When I find one that I like, because of the location, ambience, staff, facilities etc., I would keep it as a favourite and return to it whenever I can.

However, I would still try different camp sites in the hope I can find other gems.

If I go back to just one site time and time again, I would eventually get bored with it. The joy I get from camping is not dependent on just one camp site.

And I have a handful of favourites, just like playmates.

Makes sense? It does to me.

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

I'm very lucky to have a regular swinging partner with a joint profile, but we only ever meet in clubs.

I wouldn't share my bed, I'm too selfish after living alone for 7 years. I dont think he would ever invite me to his and if he did, I'm likely to decline, as once this starts, it becomes no strings.

I really like him as a friend, I wouldn't want to get too emotionally attached and then get hurt if he didn't feel the same way, but can safely say that he doesn't want anything more than what we already have.

Try and speak to him, dont bottle your feelings up. Its easier to do it now in case he scarpers and your feelings aren't too strong, so your less likely to get hurt.

Hope it works out for you xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate this time of year, I think It gets lots of people into the relationship thinking...

while its all possible something could work...just never forget the site that u and he are on

doesnt really sit comfortable with me that people have exclusive NSA sex....far too contradictory for its own good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate this time of year, I think It gets lots of people into the relationship thinking...

while its all possible something could work...just never forget the site that u and he are on

doesnt really sit comfortable with me that people have exclusive NSA sex....far too contradictory for its own good."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I haven't met him on here. I know him in real life and met through work.

Love the camping site explanation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I haven't met him on here. I know him in real life and met through work.

Love the camping site explanation."

So he is not a swinger?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate this time of year, I think It gets lots of people into the relationship thinking...

while its all possible something could work...just never forget the site that u and he are on

doesnt really sit comfortable with me that people have exclusive NSA sex....far too contradictory for its own good."

Huma nature...winter..seek out warmth

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Its a difficult one as I can see where you are coming from... I think its important to take a step back.... We are human and sometimes we think about people that are apart of our lives.. Its about whhere do you want to take this... Is it you don't say anything and keep going as you are as you can carry on seeing him...

Or do you say something and risk losing what you have or it becoming something more.. Its a tough one however I have been there done that and worn the tshirt and wiped away the teasrs...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have been thinking about how to describe NSA sexy fun to vanilla peeps, and this is what I come up with.

Sexy fun is a recreational activity that I enjoy from time to time, like camping.

I would travel to try different camp sites at different part of the country/continent.

When I find one that I like, because of the location, ambience, staff, facilities etc., I would keep it as a favourite and return to it whenever I can.

However, I would still try different camp sites in the hope I can find other gems.

If I go back to just one site time and time again, I would eventually get bored with it. The joy I get from camping is not dependent on just one camp site.

And I have a handful of favourites, just like playmates.

Makes sense? It does to me.

Ooooh, I like that. Very well said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I haven't met him on here. I know him in real life and met through work.

Love the camping site explanation."

ok marry him after christmas,newyear an valentines day.Stick to the shagging n fun in the meantime....and have a slight lul and shag me...I wont tell anyone

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

No he isn't a swinger, he knows I'm on here and is intrigued but we've not played together with others or been to clubs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have met playmates that ticked enough boxes to make me think "may be there could be more".

However, I held back from revealing my cards in case I ruin the chance of a beneficial and rewarding friendship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No he isn't a swinger, he knows I'm on here and is intrigued but we've not played together with others or been to clubs."

Ok personally speaking, then you haven't played with anyone else as you said above.

I am not sure you could class being with him as playing, as not on the scene.

I think on Saturday, you are going to talk, honestly, of expectations and what the future holds.

Bearing in mind, I say this as you come across as very content with him, and who knows...but if you don't talk, it won't just happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tell me about your NSA fun? do you get straight down to it? do you stay over night? do you have breakfast/chats etc?

He isn't seeing anyone else for NSA fun and nor am I. Over the last few days I can not stop thinking about him.

I've had NSA fun before with men and have never really developed feelings for them.

Is this something that just naturally happens with some people? I feel like kicking myself as I'm normally so good at keeping my feelings out of it.

I know I should probably just talk to him about this.

Just wanted to put it out there and release a big gggggrrrrrrrrrrrrr"

Why not enjoy it for what it is, extra feelings and all but still just see it as nsa? Do you feel like you have to read further into it?

Some women are very different to some men when it comes to having 'feelings' but keeping it all nsa.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Re: my camping analogy, it seems I am not such a nutcase afterall, thanks peeps!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have been thinking about how to describe NSA sexy fun to vanilla peeps, and this is what I come up with.

Sexy fun is a recreational activity that I enjoy from time to time, like camping.

I would travel to try different camp sites at different part of the country/continent.

When I find one that I like, because of the location, ambience, staff, facilities etc., I would keep it as a favourite and return to it whenever I can.

However, I would still try different camp sites in the hope I can find other gems.

If I go back to just one site time and time again, I would eventually get bored with it. The joy I get from camping is not dependent on just one camp site.

And I have a handful of favourites, just like playmates.

Makes sense? It does to me.

I have to say, this explanation is great

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Re: my camping analogy, it seems I am not such a nutcase afterall, thanks peeps!

That's cause you're a smart cookie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I expect this developing feelings for people is mainly singles, tho I expect it has happened to some couples at some point in time.

I have never developed any feelings for men other than thinking 'ahh what a nice chap he was'. Its just play for me, being a bit naughty, bit taboo, bit eccentric. I want to be thought of as a plaything because that's how I think of the men I play with.

But to the OP maybe just see how it goes for a little while. Maybe he thinks the same of you and romance is blossoming

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So far so good I have had little problems with people over stepping the boundaries agreed before. Maybe I have been lucky or maybe I choose well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally hear ya.... Could totally go either way. Could be the start of something great or could ruin everything and you don't want to say something incase it ruins everything. Had this previously with a fuck buddy and we met on and off for years and I said nothing and he ended up with someone else!! Kicked myself for saying nothing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I do feel that our friendship is strong enough that I maybe could bring it up with him and see what he says.

Better to do it now than have any further feelings develop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do feel that our friendship is strong enough that I maybe could bring it up with him and see what he says.

Better to do it now than have any further feelings develop."

well if we see u as usernolongeronsite lets hope it was all for good stuff hehe xxxx

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By *nfieldishCouple
over a year ago

Enfield

"I have been thinking about how to describe NSA sexy fun to vanilla peeps, and this is what I come up with.

Sexy fun is a recreational activity that I enjoy from time to time, like camping.

I would travel to try different camp sites at different part of the country/continent.

When I find one that I like, because of the location, ambience, staff, facilities etc., I would keep it as a favourite and return to it whenever I can.

However, I would still try different camp sites in the hope I can find other gems.

If I go back to just one site time and time again, I would eventually get bored with it. The joy I get from camping is not dependent on just one camp site.

And I have a handful of favourites, just like playmates.

Makes sense? It does to me.

Its a bit intents.......

See what i did there?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a bit intents.......

See what i did there?

Ha ha, word play, someone else has already done that to me in the past, sorry!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do feel that our friendship is strong enough that I maybe could bring it up with him and see what he says.

Better to do it now than have any further feelings develop."

I'm beginning to agree that maybe women are from Mars and men from Venus (or whichever way round it's suppost to be).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good luck to the OP, whatever you decide.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do feel that our friendship is strong enough that I maybe could bring it up with him and see what he says.

Better to do it now than have any further feelings develop.

well if we see u as usernolongeronsite lets hope it was all for good stuff hehe xxxx"

No! I hope the OP comes back with news....

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

[Removed by poster at 10/12/12 23:44:01]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I will of course come back and let you know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a bit late to the discussion on this one.

It's something I've been thinking about myself a lot recently.

To me, NSA means I don't want to be exclusive with anyone. I am free to see whomever I like, as are they. Outside of arranged meets we have no rights to make demands on each other's time.

However, I am not just wanting fuck and run scenarios. This is about the social aspect too, so I want people who like me for me. So I'd prefer a few regular friends whose company I enjoy, with whom I can spend an evening chatting, drinking wine and playing. If we feel comfortable staying over with each other, so much the better as I miss morning sex.

That's what friends with benefits means to me. Between meets we may chat but who or what I do is none of their business and vice versa.

If they want to turn up, fuck me and leave , I'd feel like anyone would have done. I like to think I'm a bit more than an interactive, self-lubricating fleshlight!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it all depends on what you are looking for.

I do all the drinks, have a laugh, fun stuff with Will, but it's still NSA for us. Neither of us want a relationship, we play with others as well as each other.

I think by playing with your friend and only him, that's where your feelings have become confused.

It's something you will need to talk to him about though, never know, he may have same feelings for you.

Either way, good luck

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"I think it all depends on what you are looking for.

I do all the drinks, have a laugh, fun stuff with Will, but it's still NSA for us. Neither of us want a relationship, we play with others as well as each other.

This is my situation and it works well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it all depends on what you are looking for.

I do all the drinks, have a laugh, fun stuff with Will, but it's still NSA for us. Neither of us want a relationship, we play with others as well as each other.

This is my situation and it works well."

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I'm friendly but unlikely to be close friends and can walk away after a sex meet quite happily. I had a fuckbuddy for a long time and started staying over and getting too close, she ended up asking me to move in with her and her kids. I knew it was time to stop seeing her even though I liked her a lot. I see myself as an additional sex friend for a few hours: the interactive sex toy lol.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Re: my camping analogy, it seems I am not such a nutcase afterall, thanks peeps!

A brilliant analogy! Carry on Camping!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have been thinking about how to describe NSA sexy fun to vanilla peeps, and this is what I come up with.

Sexy fun is a recreational activity that I enjoy from time to time, like camping.

I would travel to try different camp sites at different part of the country/continent.

When I find one that I like, because of the location, ambience, staff, facilities etc., I would keep it as a favourite and return to it whenever I can.

However, I would still try different camp sites in the hope I can find other gems.

If I go back to just one site time and time again, I would eventually get bored with it. The joy I get from camping is not dependent on just one camp site.

And I have a handful of favourites, just like playmates.

Makes sense? It does to me.

makes perfect sense

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