FabSwingers.com forum: Is aftercare important to you

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Or do you let your tattoos go funny until you have to have your arm off?

KIDDING!

I’m talking about after sex care. So… is it? Why?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very, I’m quite an affectionate person and need lots of tlc, I don’t wanna feel used I guess.

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By *avid 50Man
over a year ago

kendal

After sex care as in cleaning yourself up or after sex care as in cuddling in talking about what you’ve done what you enjoyed and then having a snooze

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

It depends who it is and their level of need. I don't mind, but I don't want someone to become needy

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

No. Not with someone who I met for sex and nothing more - no.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Or do you let your tattoos go funny until you have to have your arm off?

KIDDING!

I’m talking about after sex care. So… is it? Why? "

Comes with a 12 month on site replacement warranty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, I need the balance. It’s easy to find casual sex a hollow experience without affection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the type of meet. With a spontaneous, spur of the moment one not much is needed but for a longer one, I'd definitely need it and would give it as well to feel more in tune with the environment and where we are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, very much so. I need at least a cuddle and a chat but that is dependent on what we've been up to.

Pxx

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By *avid 50Man
over a year ago

kendal

I find the wind down is so important the kissing and cuddling feeling her warmth weather it’s a casual meet or long-term partner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t mind it, but I find I go really sensitive to touch after sex so it can be a little hard. Gotta give me a few minutes to “cool down” before any post cuddles etc

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I don't meet for casual sex so yes it is actually. And I'm not talking about the minutes after when the cum is drying and you're all blissed out joy. I like the messages after, the little ones that check in on how I'm doing especially if it's been quite intense. Just a few minutes to say hope the drop isn't too bad, it was great.

Whether I get them is another thing entirely. I think maybe I'm too needy and have too high expectations.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No. Not with someone who I met for sex and nothing more - no. "

You are every man’s dream

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't meet for casual sex so yes it is actually. And I'm not talking about the minutes after when the cum is drying and you're all blissed out joy. I like the messages after, the little ones that check in on how I'm doing especially if it's been quite intense. Just a few minutes to say hope the drop isn't too bad, it was great.

Whether I get them is another thing entirely. I think maybe I'm too needy and have too high expectations.

I’m exactly the same I like the chat after too nothing worse than not hearing anything after

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Very, I’m quite an affectionate person and need lots of tlc, I don’t wanna feel used I guess. "

Same. I love cuddles and all the affectionate stuff after sex. I’m so moist.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Whether I get them is another thing entirely. I think maybe I'm too needy and have too high expectations.

I get you

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

Do you mean Intimacy after sex Steve?

Or clean up duties (showers etc)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends what you mean by aftercare?

If it has been a D/s play then after care is essential to ‘come down’ and to feel grounded and back to normal.

If it is just sex then it depends on your partner/circumstances. I am not going to cuddle up to and chat to someone after I have spaffed my man-muck over them in a gangbang/bukkake, but if they are friends in a private house then relax on the bed afterwards and chat - by all means.

If you mean selfcare, then invariably a hot shower, a coffee and a workout … if I feel I need it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly would depend who im with a lot of the times also how much i care and how far we took it sometimes i would need to comedown to my normal mindset after allowing myself to touch enough of my darkness same as after a rugby game i need to take a few minutes to take the edge of or id be a cunt all night in war mode

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you mean Intimacy after sex Steve?

Or clean up duties (showers etc)"

Sorry. To me aftercare is intimacy stuff. Cleaning up should be important to everyone.

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

With my husband yes always With others then no we’ll have a laugh and a chat but nothing more than that .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whether I get them is another thing entirely. I think maybe I'm too needy and have too high expectations.

I don’t think that’s needy, I think that’s really nice actually. Very sweet. And you said not casual meet ups so I’d expect nothing less tbh, but, not everyone thinks like that I guess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it rather amusing it now has a term, when I just assumed that's what you do.

Oh the naive sweet summer child I am.

It's like the rebranding of intermittent fasting, aka I forgot or am too poor for breakfast.

So yeah, apparently I'm a massive proponent of it, as well as breakfast care, did you want lunch care, cuppa tea care and oh shall we change the sheets together care.

Care bear onesie incoming.

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By *he Wrangler and BelleCouple
over a year ago

Bishops Strortford

Aftercare with (both of) us as a couple is as much a part of sex as anything else.

It does vary depending on what we have been doing, but always involves lots of hair stroking, cuddles, chat, laughter and kissing.

There are times when it involves bathing, discussion of fantasy and an extension of roleplay too, and usually comes to an end with either sleep or Lemon Drizzle cake and Tea.

If we are with others, the aftercare (if it is not shared) may have be postponed for a short time but it is never cancelled.

So yes, aftercare for us is very important.

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

I like that post coital cuddle, even if it is just sex.

However if it has been kink meet, then definitely important, but then I am a caring sharing Dom

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

Whether I get them is another thing entirely. I think maybe I'm too needy and have too high expectations.

Nope - i keep in touch afterwards and share texts and fun stuff - if you have been properly intimate with each other ( not ‘ number 9 … over her tits then clear the area’ bukkake - never done that!!) then why wouldn’t you keep in touch? Im guessing it wouldn’t be a one off occurrence in most cases. I prefer more than once.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Whether I get them is another thing entirely. I think maybe I'm too needy and have too high expectations.

I get you

Thanks Steve. It's always difficult navigating certain things and not knowing whether we expect too much as a person. How do you accurately convey your needs while taking into consideration that the other person has their own, they might drop etc?

I guess that's where having mature conversations come in, open and honest ones and hoping that the other reciprocates.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"Do you mean Intimacy after sex Steve?

Or clean up duties (showers etc)

Sorry. To me aftercare is intimacy stuff. Cleaning up should be important to everyone. "

Yes

but sometimes the walk of shame includes cum crusty body parts

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By *ackdaw52Man
over a year ago

Chesterfield

If you are hosting someone you should show hospitality.

I get her breakfast/a snack if she wants one, shower with a fresh towel, charge her phone etc.

They are your guest.

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

Depends, if it's a casual hook up then no, I don't care. The moment has been enjoyed and I would rather go and do my own thing.

If it's my partner then it's nice to just be in each others company after.

If it's kink or bondage then yes I want a massage and head tickles for letting them do unspeakable things to me.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Whether I get them is another thing entirely. I think maybe I'm too needy and have too high expectations.

Not at all but you do need to find the right person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I make coffee tea

And also can cook

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a 'did you get home ok' text is the least I would expect then if they still remember you the next morning in a message and a quick reminisce then I love that too, being a needy type. Depending on the type of meet say a 'typical' fab meet I can let fizzle out. Anything more regular and I want to talk to you forever. And ever.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I would never be with a man whose idea of aftercare is wiping his cock on my curtains.

But then I only fuck friends.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Depends.

Casual - then usually nookie and go as don’t like outstaying much welcome.

Someone I have met a few times then a cuddle is always nice.

I tend to just go with the flow really.

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

"I would never be with a man whose idea of aftercare is wiping his cock on my curtains.

But then I only fuck friends. "

Get aluminium venetian blinds- that’ll sort it!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not adverse to it but don't find it necessary. I do tend to go for emotionally unavailable men or those on the Autistic spectrum so it cuts out the need for lovey stuff.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for sharing.

I even cuddle after a ONS. Only the real can relate.

Shout out all my cuddlers.

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

"Thanks for sharing.

I even cuddle after a ONS. Only the real can relate.

Shout out all my cuddlers. "

Oxytocins gonna oxytocin

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thanks for sharing.

I even cuddle after a ONS. Only the real can relate.

Shout out all my cuddlers.

Oxytocins gonna oxytocin "

You know the vibes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for sharing.

I even cuddle after a ONS. Only the real can relate.

Shout out all my cuddlers. "

How do you know it's a one night stand at that point?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thanks for sharing.

I even cuddle after a ONS. Only the real can relate.

Shout out all my cuddlers.

How do you know it's a one night stand at that point? "

One of us knows.

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

I love a good naked cwtch afterwards...sigh

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

Yeah it’s important, jus threading for the door once someone has cum doesn’t make you feel good.

I’m also currently doing tattoo aftercare

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

"Yeah it’s important, jus threading for the door once someone has cum doesn’t make you feel good.

I’m also currently doing tattoo aftercare

*heading

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

Its 100% important.

I had a friend I used to party with and he aftercare regime was being fed. As such on the way home from a club I'd get us chips, KFC or some such.

May sound crap but it's what she needed to stop her from dropping and although it wasn't us playing, I was happy to give her that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yeah it’s important, jus threading for the door once someone has cum doesn’t make you feel good.

I’m also currently doing tattoo aftercare

*heading "

I love tatts. Where’s your latest

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Its 100% important.

I had a friend I used to party with and he aftercare regime was being fed. As such on the way home from a club I'd get us chips, KFC or some such.

May sound crap but it's what she needed to stop her from dropping and although it wasn't us playing, I was happy to give her that

"
that’s so sweet

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

"Yeah it’s important, jus threading for the door once someone has cum doesn’t make you feel good.

I’m also currently doing tattoo aftercare

*heading

I love tatts. Where’s your latest

On my arm, a birthday present to myself for my 40th next month

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yeah it’s important, jus threading for the door once someone has cum doesn’t make you feel good.

I’m also currently doing tattoo aftercare

*heading

I love tatts. Where’s your latest

On my arm, a birthday present to myself for my 40th next month

"
gifting yourself a present is so me. I love that

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

"Yeah it’s important, jus threading for the door once someone has cum doesn’t make you feel good.

I’m also currently doing tattoo aftercare

*heading

I love tatts. Where’s your latest

On my arm, a birthday present to myself for my 40th next month

gifting yourself a present is so me. I love that

Hey if there’s no one to spoil me you can bet I’m definitely spoiling myself

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By *rincess1988Woman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

Depends on the meet but it’s definitely important. If I don’t get it off the person I slept with I will get it from my partner at least

Though I recently had a bit of bad experience. I had a meet and the guy basically shoved me out of the door after. Like he came and then he couldn’t get me out of the house faster if he tried. I think he was attached and post nut clarity hit him big time

made me feel really shitty after. I nearly deleted my profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes.

Sex is everywhere. Chemistry isnt.

I much prefer the latter, as it makes the former so much more memorable.

None of that splash and dash crap for me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yeah it’s important, jus threading for the door once someone has cum doesn’t make you feel good.

I’m also currently doing tattoo aftercare

*heading

I love tatts. Where’s your latest

On my arm, a birthday present to myself for my 40th next month

gifting yourself a present is so me. I love that

Hey if there’s no one to spoil me you can bet I’m definitely spoiling myself

Nobody to spoil you?

Oh, well…

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is ‘babe I’m booking your Uber - what’s your address?’ Aftercare?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very, I’m quite an affectionate person and need lots of tlc, I don’t wanna feel used I guess. "

I like that . I love sweetness . Affection

Before , after , and over the phone when far away .

Attention . Yes please x x

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Not particularly. I usually get dressed and leave. I don't really know what they could do to care for me afterwards.

Maybe tea, but most are usually itching to get rid of me and I don't want to sip tea in an awkward atmosphere.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not particularly. I usually get dressed and leave. I don't really know what they could do to care for me afterwards.

Maybe tea, but most are usually itching to get rid of me and I don't want to sip tea in an awkward atmosphere.

I quite like you but we are not compatible it seems

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I have my own aftercare. A bottle of Lucozade and a Dairy Milk bar for the bus/train journey home.

If it's a long journey it will be a bag of Haribos and a book on the train.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have my own aftercare. A bottle of Lucozade and a Dairy Milk bar for the bus/train journey home.

If it's a long journey it will be a bag of Haribos and a book on the train.

"
the ones with gelatine in?

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Not particularly. I usually get dressed and leave. I don't really know what they could do to care for me afterwards.

Maybe tea, but most are usually itching to get rid of me and I don't want to sip tea in an awkward atmosphere.

I quite like you but we are not compatible it seems "

Such is life, Steve.

Not everyone can make a good cuppa tea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like affection and sweetness .

I like be a good host and enjoy a good hang out . Mixed up with laughs n sexy fun .

Then regular x better

I find it much better then a hook up or just bang sex that’s it .

But if the lady doesn’t want, is fine . not pushy

Go with the flow I guess …

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"I have my own aftercare. A bottle of Lucozade and a Dairy Milk bar for the bus/train journey home.

If it's a long journey it will be a bag of Haribos and a book on the train.

the ones with gelatine in?"

I don't know. I can't read the small print on the bags without my glasses on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have my own aftercare. A bottle of Lucozade and a Dairy Milk bar for the bus/train journey home.

If it's a long journey it will be a bag of Haribos and a book on the train.

Question is, would you share the haribos ?

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

If I’ve played with someone in a club, no aftercare required.

If we’ve had a private meet and chatted before hand then I’d expect a follow up message afterwards to say thanks/check I’m ok/something. Doesn’t have to lead to anything else, but I think it’s nice to bookend a meet with some manners. I don’t like feeling like effort it reserved for only getting into my pants.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

I’d say it depends on the person and intensity of sex.

Most of the times I prefer to be left alone but it’s a well known fact I bake the best cakes to be consumed after, preferably with a cup of coffee

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not particularly. I usually get dressed and leave. I don't really know what they could do to care for me afterwards.

Maybe tea, but most are usually itching to get rid of me and I don't want to sip tea in an awkward atmosphere.

I quite like you but we are not compatible it seems

Such is life, Steve.

Not everyone can make a good cuppa tea

I can. I make the best. But I also am big on the cuddling. Less so on the getting up to make drinks after. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very, I’m quite an affectionate person and need lots of tlc, I don’t wanna feel used I guess. "

Same here.

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By *heGigglersCouple
over a year ago

Stourbridge

It is for us. Especially if we've invited someone in as a 3rd, making them feel comfortable and not like we've just used them as a sex toy is important (to us anyway)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wot Meli said ^

Nell.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aftercare really important to both of us and we'd want us both giving and receiving aftercare if/when we play separately. If a full swap with another couple some aftercare but we'd expect to migrate fairly soon back to each other.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Yes. Even if it is casual, we're all people, and a little intimacy just makes it more personal, not just mechanical.

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

"Yeah it’s important, jus threading for the door once someone has cum doesn’t make you feel good.

I’m also currently doing tattoo aftercare

*heading

I love tatts. Where’s your latest

On my arm, a birthday present to myself for my 40th next month

gifting yourself a present is so me. I love that

Hey if there’s no one to spoil me you can bet I’m definitely spoiling myself

Nobody to spoil you?

Oh, well…

Is that an offer?

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By *riving_Home_For_MimiWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"Thanks for sharing.

I even cuddle after a ONS. Only the real can relate.

Shout out all my cuddlers. "

Sometimes this is the part I enjoy the most, the cuddles after.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Absolutely - we have mainly met singles so we know they’ll be by themselves afterwards. So whilst we’ve got each other to chat things through, reminisce and feel close with, they’ll either be going back to be by themselves or into vanilla life.

So we make sure we keep in contact afterwards, we share our viewpoints, hot moments, funny stuff…we love ensuring they are still in our thoughts.

Memories won’t have been made without them

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

"Its 100% important.

I had a friend I used to party with and he aftercare regime was being fed. As such on the way home from a club I'd get us chips, KFC or some such.

May sound crap but it's what she needed to stop her from dropping and although it wasn't us playing, I was happy to give her that

that’s so sweet

I always try and look after my friends. Many don't necessarily realise it's aftercare but it's a form of it for sure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aftercare and in between meets is just as important as the meet, or am I doing it wrong ?

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Absolutely - we have mainly met singles so we know they’ll be by themselves afterwards. So whilst we’ve got each other to chat things through, reminisce and feel close with, they’ll either be going back to be by themselves or into vanilla life.

So we make sure we keep in contact afterwards, we share our viewpoints, hot moments, funny stuff…we love ensuring they are still in our thoughts.

Memories won’t have been made without them

K "

Very lucky singles. What a great approach to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes "

Great input very thoughtful and informative

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the person you are meeting.Some only want sex and no ties,Some want more but without the commitment of a relationship.You behavue accordingly unless your cold maybe?

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Damn it Pickle. Whyyyyyy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Damn it Pickle. Whyyyyyy? "

Wait wait wait.

Pickle, the fucks that?

Not having this disrespect.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Or do you let your tattoos go funny until you have to have your arm off?

KIDDING!

I’m talking about after sex care. So… is it? Why? "
I'm here for more and I hope to find it, its as honest a place as you'll find

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Damn it Pickle. Whyyyyyy?

Wait wait wait.

Pickle, the fucks that?

Not having this disrespect. "

Oh yeah.

Should have told you.

Probably best you get tested.

Love you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Damn it Pickle. Whyyyyyy?

Wait wait wait.

Pickle, the fucks that?

Not having this disrespect.

Oh yeah.

Should have told you.

Probably best you get tested.

Love you.

Again?

I thought we cleared this up last time?

And I don't mean that aggressive course of antibiotics.

Goddammit.

I hope your hopelessly exploitative clothing has any number of appendages sewn into it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Damn it Pickle. Whyyyyyy? "

He got a ninja profile and He’s laughing at us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Check out boots for aftercare products 3for2

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Or do you let your tattoos go funny until you have to have your arm off?

KIDDING!

I’m talking about after sex care. So… is it? Why? "

It really depends on the people involved.Who you would say was the right type for you or the type of people your meeting.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Spoon and cuddles. I love the intimate part

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By *ady and Mr MCouple
over a year ago

Greater Manchester

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep love some chat, stroking and cuddles. Also love a cup of tea!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Na fuck that bollocks

Find the nearest curtain on the way out and done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not an overly affectionate person so as long as they aren’t tripping over their trousers to get out the door I don’t need it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah just a firm handshake and a 'grande job sir' and I'm ready to skip on out x

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By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

I think it depends on the person and the level of intimacy I have with them.

Adore curling up new to my lover for long snog and sleep. Other times quick kiss and cuddle is fine.

I've also done the fuck and leave thing, which, if agreed, can be really good too.

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

Aftercare is absolutely essential to cope with subdrop, and not just at the time. Texting,calling,reassuring regularly in the next 48 hours matters hugely if it isn't a live-in relationship.

The transition from utter, naked vulnerability and trust, to getting one's armour on to face the world of work, etc, is too hard to manage without support. And chocolate helps, too.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"I have my own aftercare. A bottle of Lucozade and a Dairy Milk bar for the bus/train journey home.

If it's a long journey it will be a bag of Haribos and a book on the train.

Question is, would you share the haribos ? "

If someone on my train home needed a gummy bear I'd share.

They would have to be someone special to get my cherry though.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Na fuck that bollocks

Find the nearest curtain on the way out and done "

What if they only have metal blinds?

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"Na fuck that bollocks

Find the nearest curtain on the way out and done

What if they only have metal blinds?"

Nanna, you can hold me in your chest anytime

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Aftercare is absolutely essential to cope with subdrop, and not just at the time. Texting,calling,reassuring regularly in the next 48 hours matters hugely if it isn't a live-in relationship.

The transition from utter, naked vulnerability and trust, to getting one's armour on to face the world of work, etc, is too hard to manage without support. And chocolate helps, too."

Agreed. This goes for Dom drop too

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Na fuck that bollocks

Find the nearest curtain on the way out and done

What if they only have metal blinds?

Nanna, you can hold me in your chest anytime

I've just bought a new padlock for it

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Na fuck that bollocks

Find the nearest curtain on the way out and done

What if they only have metal blinds?"

Kinky

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"Na fuck that bollocks

Find the nearest curtain on the way out and done

What if they only have metal blinds?

Nanna, you can hold me in your chest anytime

I've just bought a new padlock for it

That's a real shame.....playtime disallowed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Aftercare is absolutely essential to cope with subdrop, and not just at the time. Texting,calling,reassuring regularly in the next 48 hours matters hugely if it isn't a live-in relationship.

The transition from utter, naked vulnerability and trust, to getting one's armour on to face the world of work, etc, is too hard to manage without support. And chocolate helps, too."

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By *entBarryUKMan
over a year ago

Ashford

"Aftercare is absolutely essential to cope with subdrop, and not just at the time. Texting,calling,reassuring regularly in the next 48 hours matters hugely if it isn't a live-in relationship.

The transition from utter, naked vulnerability and trust, to getting one's armour on to face the world of work, etc, is too hard to manage without support. And chocolate helps, too."

This is the perfect answer

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

I insist on cuddles with my fella afterwards.

Bdsm aftercare is another whole other story.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love the resting my head on his chest moment and chatting shite

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By *rmdMan
over a year ago

chesterfield

Depends on the mood and arrangement but yeah some sort of interaction is needed I would say and a check in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer to chill, chat, have a drink, check we are both OK after a session, that's why I like repeat meets.

Checking in after we have gone our separate ways is polite and nice and also why I like repeat meets so I can build that kind of friendship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Aftercare is absolutely essential to cope with subdrop, and not just at the time. Texting,calling,reassuring regularly in the next 48 hours matters hugely if it isn't a live-in relationship.

The transition from utter, naked vulnerability and trust, to getting one's armour on to face the world of work, etc, is too hard to manage without support. And chocolate helps, too."

Depends on the type of meet of course, but this sums it up perfect and beautifully.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't want to catch feelings lol, so usually NO, unless it's someone I have met several times and know well

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Aftercare is absolutely essential to cope with subdrop, and not just at the time. Texting,calling,reassuring regularly in the next 48 hours matters hugely if it isn't a live-in relationship.

The transition from utter, naked vulnerability and trust, to getting one's armour on to face the world of work, etc, is too hard to manage without support. And chocolate helps, too."

Oh this is so beautifully written, you really do have a way with words.

I wouldn't say I have subdrop because I'm not a sub but I've definitely had/have drops.

I've never really had that aftercare. The texts after. The calls. I think it's something I'd really like, I place value on that sort of thing. But I also don't want to be seen as needy or intrude on another's time when they have their own stuff going on so I'm getting better at handling drops by myself.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"I insist on cuddles with my fella afterwards.

Bdsm aftercare is another whole other story. "

This

The two are completely different in emotional responsibility between 2 people.

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

As ever,the 'each to their own' caveat is key, but personally, I think what happens afterwards can't be separated from what happens before and during. But the, though not every experience I have will be explicitly D/s, or necessarily look anything other than vanilla from the outside, that Dom sensibility isn't something I put on for 'playtime'. It's always there, and necessarily colours everything I do.

So of course Compersion is right, and many people want a 'fuck and go', and good luck to them! Plenty of people here will be able to offer that and do it brilliantly. I do think, though, if someone DOES have a need for that kind of aftercare, and articulates it either spoken or unspoken, it is the duty of the other party to fulfil it.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Yes; there's a definite element of to each their own. I'm aware Pickles deliberately left the OP vague so it didn't become just a discussion on protocols for the more kinky minded but a more rounded discussion. Like little messages saying, ta for that earth shattering sex following some "vanilla" sex.

I'm not sure if there is a duty for any person to fulfil something I want/need. I'd rather someone chose to do something because they wanted to, not out of some sense of duty. Maybe I'm just telling myself that though because I've not had it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh I understand you so well Meli. Not sure if it’s a duty but common decency? It doesn’t matter what type of relationship you have with someone to get treated and respected like any human being should.

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