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By *dam1971 OP   Man
over a year ago

Bedford

I’m kicking myself here because I’ve been doing it wrong. Forget all that tedious mucking about with seduction and just be direct instead; when you buy something from Amazon you just select the things you want and it arrives the next day!

I’ll be considering offers from women who are millionaire nymphomaniacs, billionaires considered too, must be drop dead gorgeous, be into delusional podgy blokes and have a good wine cellar.

My inbox is open

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And I’ll consider anyone with nice tits, good hygiene, a nice personality and *incredibly* low standards in the type of man they’re prepared to sleep with, please

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By *dam1971 OP   Man
over a year ago

Bedford


"And I’ll consider anyone with nice tits, good hygiene, a nice personality and *incredibly* low standards in the type of man they’re prepared to sleep with, please "

Not a problem mate, I’m going to be overrun here so you can take any spares

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m kicking myself here because I’ve been doing it wrong. Forget all that tedious mucking about with seduction and just be direct instead; when you buy something from Amazon you just select the things you want and it arrives the next day!

I’ll be considering offers from women who are millionaire nymphomaniacs, billionaires considered too, must be drop dead gorgeous, be into delusional podgy blokes and have a good wine cellar.

My inbox is open "

You'll be swamped with invitations

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"And I’ll consider anyone with nice tits, good hygiene, a nice personality and *incredibly* low standards in the type of man they’re prepared to sleep with, please "

This is more me. Sorry Adam. Just too high standards for a fuck site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just a nice sweetheart who would get on well would do me …

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By *dam1971 OP   Man
over a year ago

Bedford


"And I’ll consider anyone with nice tits, good hygiene, a nice personality and *incredibly* low standards in the type of man they’re prepared to sleep with, please

This is more me. Sorry Adam. Just too high standards for a fuck site. "

I understand, but fair play for trying to persuade me by sending all those nekkid pics

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By *ettyJaneNWWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

My Google alert for men seeking nice tits and low standards sent me here but now I see you need a nice personality too so I'm out.

Does a couple of cans of premixed g&t in the fridge count as a nice wine cellar. Asking for a friend?

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath


"I’m kicking myself here because I’ve been doing it wrong. Forget all that tedious mucking about with seduction and just be direct instead; when you buy something from Amazon you just select the things you want and it arrives the next day!

I’ll be considering offers from women who are millionaire nymphomaniacs, billionaires considered too, must be drop dead gorgeous, be into delusional podgy blokes and have a good wine cellar.

My inbox is open "

This is just a ploy to get us to look at your profile isn't it?! Lol!

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By *dam1971 OP   Man
over a year ago

Bedford


"My Google alert for men seeking nice tits and low standards sent me here but now I see you need a nice personality too so I'm out.

Does a couple of cans of premixed g&t in the fridge count as a nice wine cellar. Asking for a friend? "

If you gulp it down quickly and can burp the theme tune to the Muppet Show, you’re in

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"And I’ll consider anyone with nice tits, good hygiene, a nice personality and *incredibly* low standards in the type of man they’re prepared to sleep with, please

This is more me. Sorry Adam. Just too high standards for a fuck site.

I understand, but fair play for trying to persuade me by sending all those nekkid pics "

I'm actually going to send you one now just because I'm in that sort of contrary mood.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi, I'm Danish, I'm on one of those "try before you buy" things for 7 days, if you don't like me, you can return me, no questions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I ordered an amazing woman from Amazon but they left her with my neighbour.

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By *ettyJaneNWWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire


"My Google alert for men seeking nice tits and low standards sent me here but now I see you need a nice personality too so I'm out.

Does a couple of cans of premixed g&t in the fridge count as a nice wine cellar. Asking for a friend?

If you gulp it down quickly and can burp the theme tune to the Muppet Show, you’re in "

Funny you should say that, it's my second best party trick

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"I ordered an amazing woman from Amazon but they left her with my neighbour. "

I ordered one too from Hermes and found her half way down my garden

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I ordered an amazing woman from Amazon but they left her with my neighbour.

I ordered one too from Hermes and found her half way down my garden "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately I am not in to date guys

Only in to getting my back doors smashed in by them

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By *dam1971 OP   Man
over a year ago

Bedford


"Hi, I'm Danish, I'm on one of those "try before you buy" things for 7 days, if you don't like me, you can return me, no questions "

Customer service is paramount

You’ll be leaving the booze here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi, I'm Danish, I'm on one of those "try before you buy" things for 7 days, if you don't like me, you can return me, no questions

Customer service is paramount

You’ll be leaving the booze here? "

Any bottles opened cannot be returned unfortunately, only naked ladies

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By *inballs99Man
over a year ago

Blackheath

If you order two from Amazon,which will cum first ?

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By *dam1971 OP   Man
over a year ago

Bedford


"My Google alert for men seeking nice tits and low standards sent me here but now I see you need a nice personality too so I'm out.

Does a couple of cans of premixed g&t in the fridge count as a nice wine cellar. Asking for a friend?

If you gulp it down quickly and can burp the theme tune to the Muppet Show, you’re in

Funny you should say that, it's my second best party trick "

Does the best party trick involve ping pong balls? The risk assessment is a nightmare for that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi, I'm Danish, I'm on one of those "try before you buy" things for 7 days, if you don't like me, you can return me, no questions "

Ooh

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By *ettyJaneNWWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire


"

If you gulp it down quickly and can burp the theme tune to the Muppet Show, you’re in

Funny you should say that, it's my second best party trick

Does the best party trick involve ping pong balls? The risk assessment is a nightmare for that "

I picked the wrong thread to boast about my amazing cheese and pineapple hedgehog

I start yawning and setting the alarms at 1045pm sharp

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By *inballs99Man
over a year ago

Blackheath


"Hi, I'm Danish, I'm on one of those "try before you buy" things for 7 days, if you don't like me, you can return me, no questions

Ooh "
hey you know I would test drive those pretty toes for a week !

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