FabSwingers.com forum: Little Ralphy

By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Little Ralphy was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.

After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.'

Little Ralphy replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.'

The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?'

Little Ralphy answered, 'No, he minded his own f**king business!'

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Little Ralphy was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.

After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.'

Little Ralphy replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.'

The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?'

Little Ralphy answered, 'No, he minded his own f**king business!'

"
that along with avatar.....hehehehehehehehehehehe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Little RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"

RALPHY says "Mas-tur-bate."

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little RALPHY, that's a mouthful."

Little RALPHY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Little RALPHY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!"

The teacher replied, 'Now, RALPHY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."

Little RALPHY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"

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By *riendlyfunfemWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

Little Ralphy on Maths.

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"

She calls on little Ralphy.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little RALPHY says, "I have a question for YOU.

There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:

One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.

The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.

The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.

Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Little RALPHY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on," but I like your thinking."

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror.

Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday.

'I'd like to be twelve again', she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops,

and then took her to Alton Towers theme park.

What a day!

He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Corkscrew, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park.

Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

He then took her to a Mc Donald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to the cinema with popcorn, a huge Cola, and her favourite sweets......M&M's.

What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked,

'Well Dear, what was it like being twelve again?'

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

'I meant my dress size, you TWAT!'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two blokes are pushing their shopping trolleys around a supermarket when they collide.

The first bloke says to the second bloke, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going".

The second bloke says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate".

The first bloke says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like"?

The second bloke says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, big jubblies and is wearing tiny little shorts and a crop top.

What does your wife look like"?

The first bloke says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Jeb and his wife and son go to the city for the first time, having lived in the mountains with no electricity or mains water.

There are many wonders to behold, and they wander around open-mouthed.

Whilst the wife sits down on a bench, Jeb and the boy wander along the ground floor of a multi-storey shopping complex, and are stopped by the sight of an old woman walking into a small room. The doors slide shut, and some numbers light up above the doors. After a while, the numbers light up in reverse, and the doors open, and a stunning blonde walks out.

"Boy, go git your Ma" says Jeb.

"You want to show her that Pa?" says ther boy.

"Hell no, I want her to try it out!" says Jeb.

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