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whats your best joke !!!!

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By *homas panns OP   Man
over a year ago

leicester

How does a washing machine make you laugh ,,takes the piss out of your knickers ,,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my best joke......

my mirror....

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By *ust_for_laughsCouple
over a year ago

Hinckley

Two parrots sitting on a perch, one says to the other 'can you smell fish ?'

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By *homas panns OP   Man
over a year ago

leicester

Tutt tutt no funny jokes coming in !!! Another one of mine then ...

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By *homas panns OP   Man
over a year ago

leicester

Smells fish ,,, Iam I thick I don't get it lol

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By *homas panns OP   Man
over a year ago

leicester

Just got it perch lol

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By *omnlynneCouple
over a year ago

Great Yarmouth

I went up to this sexy Milf in the Night Club and as brazen as you like I said, "I bet you know what to do with a cock."

She said, "I sure do honey, up until last March I used to have one."

I declined a drink but we shook hands then I went home.

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

two gay cowboys,one says yup,other says yip

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex !!!!

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By *eminiman61Man
over a year ago

mansfield

A lesbian goes into a bar in Arizona she sees this old guy sat at a table with cowboy boots on ten gallon hat chaps the whole enchalada...... She sits beside him and says "so are you a true cowboy?"

He says yup and so was my daddy and my grand daddy miss

Im a lesbian she says

What makes you a lesbian?

Well I wake up thinking about women,women turn me on so much and I love getting between a womans legs and pleasuring her for hours with my tongue fingers and toyz

Another woman sat at the table and said to the old cowboy "are you a true cowboy?"

I thort I was but Ive just found out Im a lesbian

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By *homas panns OP   Man
over a year ago

leicester

What is a baby's favorite reptile??? A rattlesnake

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If i was a squirrel and you were a tree. I would store my nuts in your hole.

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By *aravancoupleMan
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

Ordered some stuff online the other day & I used my donor card instead of my debit card.

Cost me an arm and a leg.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ordered some stuff online the other day & I used my donor card instead of my debit card.

Cost me an arm and a leg. "

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

What do you call a monkey in a minefield................

A BABOOOOOM

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By *homas panns OP   Man
over a year ago

leicester

A man and women who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train . After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep , the woman on the top bunk , the man on lower .in the middle of the night the woman leans over ,wakes the man and says "I'm sorry to bother you ,but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket ".the man leans out and , with a glint in his eye , says I've a better idea .....just for tonight , let's pretend were married "the woman thinks for a moment ,"why not " she giggles ." Great he replies , get your own damn blanket !!!"

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By *ertngladCouple
over a year ago

thornton -cleveleys

Why did the blade of grass leave home?

Because his father was a sod.

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By *ottsguy44Man
over a year ago

nottinghamshire

Two cowboys were sitting in a bar when one asked his friend if he had heard of the new sex position called 'rodeo'.

His friend said, "No what is it?"

"Well, you mount your wife from the back, reach around her and cup her breasts with both hands. Then you say, 'Boy these are almost as nice as your sister's.

Then see if you can hang on for eight seconds."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Two cowboys were sitting in a bar when one asked his friend if he had heard of the new sex position called 'rodeo'.

His friend said, "No what is it?"

"Well, you mount your wife from the back, reach around her and cup her breasts with both hands. Then you say, 'Boy these are almost as nice as your sister's.

Then see if you can hang on for eight seconds."

"

love this one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An elderly couple were taking a stroll one night when they past by an old shed with fencing around it. "Remember when we used to come here and go behind the shed for some naughty fun when we were younger" says the old lady. Feeling excited at the thought the old man replied " I most certainly do, in fact why don't we for old times sake" feeling excited herself she took him by the hand and they went around the back of the shed.

After half an hour of hot steamy action they both collapsed to the floor. Panting and gaining her breath the old lady said "wow, you were never like that 40 years ago"

The old man gaspily replied " 40 years ago.....that fucking fence wasn't electrified"

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By *ottsguy44Man
over a year ago

nottinghamshire

Life is all about ASS. You're either covering it, kicking it, kissing it, busting it or trying to get a piece of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just got told this and thought id share.

My mate shagged a girl with OCD last night & she told him she was obsessed with doing everything alphabetically! So first he said they did Anal, then she gave him a Blowjob then he played with her Clit, then he took her Deep. . then he got up and got dressed, she shouted "Oi wot about E?" He said, "I've done E love - Ejaculated, and now I'm doing F G & H! Fucking Going Home!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why are gold fish orange? They go rusty in the water.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do elephants paint there balls red? So they can hide in cherry trees.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

John McAfee has been arrested.

Trial to last 30 days.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the loudest noise in the jungle. Monkeys picking cherries.

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By *nfieldishCouple
over a year ago

Enfield

Bear walks in to a bar and says to the barman ..... Can i have a .............................................................................................................................................pint please.... Barman says.. Sure, But why the big pause.....the bear looks at him, Raises his arms and says........ COS IM A BEAR......

I thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A man escapes from prison where he

has been for 15 years. He breaks into a

house to look for money and guns and

finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties

him to a chair, while tying the girl to

the bed he gets on top of her, kisses

her neck, then gets up and goes into

the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells

his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict,

look at his clothes! He probably spent

lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a

woman in years. I saw how he kissed

your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist,

don't complain, do whatever he tells

you. Satisfy him no matter how much

he nauseates you. This guy is probably

very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll

kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't

kissing my neck. He was whispering in

my ear. He told me he was gay,

thought you were cute, and asked me

if

we had any Vaseline. I told him it was

in the bathroom.

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