FabSwingers.com forum: Bi Straight guys

By *lueFire OP Couple
over a year ago

just somewhere around here

So every now and then we open our profile to single guys ...we then get bombarded by "bi" guys wanting to play yet their profile is "straight"

Basically if you haven't got the balls to put Bi or at least curious, don't message people pretending you are

* rant over

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

I get a lot of messages from 'straight' guys.

If you're not out yet that's fine but I'm only going to meet people who are comfortable in their sexuality.

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By *lad98Man
over a year ago

Burton Upon Trent

It's a thing on here. Fab straight. Some of the stuff I've had from straight guys would make your hair curl.

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By *lueFire OP Couple
over a year ago

just somewhere around here

"I get a lot of messages from 'straight' guys.

If you're not out yet that's fine but I'm only going to meet people who are comfortable in their sexuality."

Exactly this

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By *angerous123Man
over a year ago

Leeds

I'm at a stage where I don't care what anyone thinks about me so I'm open with my bisexuality. Not everyone's there yet though and we still live in a world that has a lot of homophobia. Some men grew up in a time when you got crucified for anything even slightly deemed as gay. This fear is deep rooted in many men.

In short don't judge, especially if you're female. You can't begin to relate to what it's like to be a bisexual man

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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago

Welling

Yeah, agree with previous comment.

Don’t judge, the world is not quite ready for guys to be open with their sexuality. When a guy declares himself as bi he is not doubling his chances to find a partner it’s quite vice versa, he is halving his chances. It’s not just on fab, it’s applicable in general.

We all have preferences. I totally respect your preferences to meet only open bi guys. I also can understand your curiosity to understand why some guys on fab has straight profile but looking for other type of play. Yet I think the post could have been less judgemental.

Peace to all, enjoy this fab Tuesday

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

I appreciate that many people don't want to come out of the closet in their general life. I've probably had sex with more men then most of my female co-workers, but I appear straight (hetero-romantic)

But if you can't be honest about your interests on fab, what else are you lying about / concealing?

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

Had loads lately

They've been trying their luck with the missus and realising they aren't getting anywhere so they've pulled out the bi card

Funny as fuck watching these supposedly straight men willing to suck a dick to get a go on the missus

You

Are

Wasting

Your

Time

Son

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By *ritIndianCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

"So every now and then we open our profile to single guys ...we then get bombarded by "bi" guys wanting to play yet their profile is "straight"

Basically if you haven't got the balls to put Bi or at least curious, don't message people pretending you are

* rant over"

Totally Agree it’s guys that are edging their bets. They message us to say they are curious. Then put that on your profile.

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By *i_guy_sloughMan
over a year ago

Langley

The reason a lot of guys have Straight on their profile is because there are a lot of women and couples on here who refuse to meet bi guys so the guys think that by having Straight on their profile gives them better odds of a meet.

Personally I’d rather not lie about my sexuality and just take my chances with getting a meet with someone who enjoys the company of bi men.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Yeah, agree with previous comment.

Peace to all, enjoy this fab Tuesday

I think there's a massive difference between someone who is unsure of their sexuality and communicates that when messaging and someone who is totally comfortable with their sexuality and chooses to lie about it on their profile to get sex with those who state they don't meet bi guys, when they are in fact bi, and have had many bi experiences.

It's about being lied to, or knowing they're lying to others.

I completely appreciate it will be an internal struggle for some, coupled with fear of homophobia, but it also feels like shit that the person contacting you is prepared to lie either way to get sex. I'm sure they'd find people to be far less judgemental if, even in their opening message they'd explain it was new to them, if that was the case. Or even worse, the ones "that aren't bi and can't get sex with a woman but they're horny so it's a means to an end"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've found plenty of guys chatting to me and openly bi but status says straight

I had my status as straight for a while then changed it to bi as I realised that this place is for everyone looking for the same thing

It's reasonably anonymous so why hide the thing you like then hunt for others

Just let everyone know up front

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As mentioned some wont put it down as it can reduce their chances of meets.

Some guys won't mention it as its only a thing they do in a couple situation, they don't seek men on their own, but in mmf have played with all.

Some wont say it as stated previously. From a young age it was deemed wrong.

Personally I prefer if they have bi down or atleast looking tvs if they're contacting me.

But it's fab everyone will do here as they see fit.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"So every now and then we open our profile to single guys ...we then get bombarded by "bi" guys wanting to play yet their profile is "straight"

Basically if you haven't got the balls to put Bi or at least curious, don't message people pretending you are

* rant over"

It's entirely because of the double standard on Fab (and in life in general) concerning bi men vs bi women.

One is seen as desirable and attractive and the other undesirable and a health risk.

I understand why some men are reluctant to put bi or curious.

I have curious as my status simply to differentiate from those that are fully bi (i.e. indulge in anal with men, giving or receiving) as I'm only orally bi (hence the name!). If my tastes ever change and that suddenly floats my boat I'll switch it to bi.

There's no option to put bi-flexible, situationally-bi or any other choice, so that seems the most appropriate.

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By *lueFire OP Couple
over a year ago

just somewhere around here

"I'm at a stage where I don't care what anyone thinks about me so I'm open with my bisexuality. Not everyone's there yet though and we still live in a world that has a lot of homophobia. Some men grew up in a time when you got crucified for anything even slightly deemed as gay. This fear is deep rooted in many men.

In short don't judge, especially if you're female. You can't begin to relate to what it's like to be a bisexual man "

I'm the male of the couple I posted this, and out as a bi guy....I'm not judging it just pisses me of that people aren't honest

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By *lueFire OP Couple
over a year ago

just somewhere around here

"I appreciate that many people don't want to come out of the closet in their general life. I've probably had sex with more men then most of my female co-workers, but I appear straight (hetero-romantic)

But if you can't be honest about your interests on fab, what else are you lying about / concealing?"

Exactly put much better than I did

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By *ifty251Woman
over a year ago

London

Hey Alex. Love this reply. Thank you for sharing

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

I don't think most are judging but when you blatantly switch from straight to bi to up your chances then it's just laughable

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"The reason a lot of guys have Straight on their profile is because there are a lot of women and couples on here who refuse to meet bi guys so the guys think that by having Straight on their profile gives them better odds of a meet.

Personally I’d rather not lie about my sexuality and just take my chances with getting a meet with someone who enjoys the company of bi men. "

I've probably done better as 'bi', then I would have as 'straight'.

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"So every now and then we open our profile to single guys ...we then get bombarded by "bi" guys wanting to play yet their profile is "straight"

Basically if you haven't got the balls to put Bi or at least curious, don't message people pretending you are

* rant over

It's entirely because of the double standard on Fab (and in life in general) concerning bi men vs bi women.

One is seen as desirable and attractive and the other undesirable and a health risk.

I understand why some men are reluctant to put bi or curious.

There's no option to put bi-flexible, situationally-bi or any other choice, so that seems the most appropriate.

There is a whole section of your profile where you can describe your flavour of bisexuality.

Top, bottom, oral only, only in a MMF, only with TVs (yes, a man playing with a TV is bi-sexual)

Personally I'm a Gynephile, attracted to feminine people, whatever the contents of their underwear. But it's a flexible rule.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've found plenty of guys chatting to me and openly bi but status says straight

I had my status as straight for a while then changed it to bi as I realised that this place is for everyone looking for the same thing

It's reasonably anonymous so why hide the thing you like then hunt for others

Just let everyone know up front"

It's not anonymous at all. People could be outed for being bisexual and it could cause them real life problems. I don't blame them for wanting privacy. There shouldn't be a sexuality tick box on profiles, it's irrelevant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In short don't judge, especially if you're female. You can't begin to relate to what it's like to be a bisexual man

I'm the male of the couple I posted this, and out as a bi guy....I'm not judging it just pisses me of that people aren't honest"

You have public face pics so don't care who sees you on a sex site. You won't be able to understand.

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By *zlakMan
over a year ago

Norwich

I get messages from guys with "straight" on their profile and they say they are bi! Then when you ask them why they lie to people about their sexuality they get all defensive??

Blocked!!!

I'm bi and proud of it, if thats not for you then move on.

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By *lueFire OP Couple
over a year ago

just somewhere around here

"I get messages from guys with "straight" on their profile and they say they are bi! Then when you ask them why they lie to people about their sexuality they get all defensive??

Blocked!!!

I'm bi and proud of it, if thats not for you then move on.

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By *lym4realCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

It's a ongoing thing and we do know afew openly Bi Men and they do say that a overwhelming number of their messages are from so called straight men ?? and just goes to show some straight single males are just looking for somewhere moist and wet to.....according to them that is ...

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By *mizhereMan
over a year ago

belfast area

I’m bi always say I am but explain we both guys can behave if the other guy is straight

Can’t see the issue with being honest I do play safe so just the same as a straight guy who plays safe too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who knows the motivation of individual people, however for some it may be because bi doesn't feel right.

My journey:

It's easy to think that hetro- and homo- two points at the end of the spectrum. Bi is everywhere in between.

But we don't tend to think in detail about labels. Labels after all are short cuts.

So when someone says bisexual, what do you picture?

Probably someone who is equally into guys and gals. Possibly dating both. But something that looks symmetrical in many ways. They are equally into guys and gals romantically, sexually, and intimately.

Tbh, it's the picture I have in my head. It's kinda what is taught in school (at least the subtleties are ignored). It's what portayed in the media. Often with a degree of "illicit affairs". And what (limited) role models there are, probably fit that mould.

But it is a spectrum. And multi dimensional. So when someone is thinking "I like cock from time to time, but don't really want sexual intimacy like kissing with a man, and certainly don't want to be in a relationship with a guy" it's confusing. That is a long way from their image of bi. It's a lot closer to straight. To many, they "appear" straight. And it's not easy to clarify without going into details.

To put it another way, suppose you were going on a blind date with someone described as mixed heritage.

You probably have a quick go to image of their skin tone etc.

At the date, you meet someone who has a Chinese mum and a Mexican dad. They probably don't conform to your image. Now we know intellectually mixed heritage can be a variety of "combinations". We are just lazy. However it's easy to see we have been lazy when we meet the person and it's easy(ish) to clarify.

A bisexual person has to tell you you're picture is wrong. And describe how.

And this is all before we add in different genders. Does fancying a TS make you straight if bi? Does it depend on how far she has transitioned?

Finally, imo there is still a lot of stigmatism around bi guys in particular. As above, it's often portrayed as a dirty secret and they are cheating on their female OH. I've heard people close to me say it's because they are gay, but hiding it. And plenty of profiles have strong preferences here. And unlike race, size, etc it's one built on a belief about bi men. Probably a view about disease risk. Which is funny when some of these "no bi" profiles have a lot of meets ...

I'm trying to own my label. But still feel bi doesn't work. I prefer queer even tho that still has my 1980/90 connotations. Maybe I will go with multisexual.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think you have missed the point entirely.

Guys who like to play with cock don't want to prejudice possible meetings with females. Most women are not turned on by bisex guys and pass them by. Hence the deception.

Not condoning, just commenting.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

When you see so many profiles that say NO BI GUYS in capitals, or act as if they'll immediately try to bum Mr, it's no surprise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Think you have missed the point entirely.

Guys who like to play with cock don't want to prejudice possible meetings with females. Most women are not turned on by bisex guys and pass them by. Hence the deception.

Not condoning, just commenting. "
most (many? Some?) Women aren't turned on by the bisexuality of a guy. Most/many/some simply don't give a fuck what you do elsewhere. However they can be turned on by the guy.

Some for whatever reason will not sleep with a guy because he has thought about men in the past. I don't get that ybh, but as long as they state their preference in an unoffensive way, thats fine.

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By *oppolocosTV/TS
over a year ago

inverurie

"I get a lot of messages from 'straight' guys.

If you're not out yet that's fine but I'm only going to meet people who are comfortable in their sexuality."

Same here, and if I'm on cam get lots of "straight" watching, making comments, asking about c2c, meets, etc. Sometimes wonder if there are any truly straight guys on here.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I definitely think there's a fab double standard with bi men and women on here .

I'm straight & feel it's expected that I'm actually bi by some men and couples ,even when I've said I'm not.

My other half is orally bi with the right people ,so on our profile we have him as bi curious so we're totally open about it.

If people don't want to meet us due to it ,well that's up to them.

One is encouraged while the other seems to be frowned upon by many.

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

"Think you have missed the point entirely.

Guys who like to play with cock don't want to prejudice possible meetings with females. Most women are not turned on by bisex guys and pass them by. Hence the deception.

Not condoning, just commenting. "

I think people are well aware of that. I find the lack of honesty and self confidence to openly be yourself a turn off though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get a lot of messages from 'straight' guys.

If you're not out yet that's fine but I'm only going to meet people who are comfortable in their sexuality.

Same here, and if I'm on cam get lots of "straight" watching, making comments, asking about c2c, meets, etc. Sometimes wonder if there are any truly straight guys on here. "

I'm straight! 100 % straight as a banana...

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By *lym4realCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

The many many many hoops people try to jump through to try not to come across as "Homophobic" but end up ??...and neither of us would even agree to meet anyone if they couldn't/wouldn't accept either Mrs4's sexuality or mine if i was Bi and why would you anyway ?? why demean yourself by pretending ?? especially on a so called adult site ??

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By *il sub princessWoman
over a year ago

West Midlands

I know of 'straight' men who believe they are straight and Won't admit they are gay/bi but will go with trans/gay men if they are feminine & pretty.

Also many that put they are straight as they know it attracts some gay men

That's just from my experience

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Personally I’d rather not lie about my sexuality and just take my chances with getting a meet with someone who enjoys the company of bi men.

I've probably done better as 'bi', then I would have as 'straight'."

I'm sure if you counted the couple's that look for bi guys (not fab straight ones) and counted the bo guys you'd find the odds are a lot better than straight (fab or otherwise) guys looking for straight couples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/10/22 14:47:08]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've noticed a huge amount of prejudice from women towards bisexual or trans-attracted men.

I don't understand why, who a man chooses to fuck, should affect anyone's choice. Women don't like being judged for their choices, so why do the same?

What happens outside of your connection should not affect you -- it is just prejudice that drives it.

Personally I'm not bisexual -- as in, I don't seek out relationships with men and typically attracted to femininity.

However, I am not squeamish about new experiences, even if it isn't my main 'identity'.

I guess mildly heter0flexible is more accurate -- but that isn't an option, and as such, 'straight' is still a better fit.

I am, also attracted to feminine presenting transexual women, but that option is also somewhat lacking as it mixes in crossdressers.

The point is, the amount of women who judge men for what they seek is pretty incredible -- and it's no surprise that many men feel the need to hide certain aspects of themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get a lot of messages from 'straight' guys.

If you're not out yet that's fine but I'm only going to meet people who are comfortable in their sexuality."

Totally agree!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ones meet a couple with a interesting rule

To root out fake bi guys

The rule was

The female hafe dose not play at first

She sits and watches hubby bang away

Before joining in

they sed the look on some guys faces when they presented this at a meet

Let’s just say I was A ok with this and it was a awesome time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to rant about this in the past, but until this site and fabguys finds a better way for it's users to express their sexuality or, more importantly, their chosen sexual behaviour, this will always be a problem.

Some blokes will want to fuck other blokes at points, but still consider themselves straight. I'm sure there are women who feel the same way.

Let's face it, this site is built on a very basic set of values that hadn't been able to keep up with changes in how people identify themselves.

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By *leasureman123Man
over a year ago

Manchester

Spot on, same for many straight guys in couples who are bi and have straight as reduces meeting other straight couples lol

"I know of 'straight' men who believe they are straight and Won't admit they are gay/bi but will go with trans/gay men if they are feminine & pretty.

Also many that put they are straight as they know it attracts some gay men

That's just from my experience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Let's face it, this site is built on a very basic set of values that hadn't been able to keep up with changes in how people identify themselves."

They don't need to -- while thousands of people are happy to pay for the gold supporter packages, there's no need for them to move with the times.

That's business I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know of 'straight' men who believe they are straight and Won't admit they are gay/bi but will go with trans/gay men if they are feminine & pretty.

Also many that put they are straight as they know it attracts some gay men

That's just from my experience

So, if a man seeks out extremely masculine women to peg him, he's still straight?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Let's face it, this site is built on a very basic set of values that hadn't been able to keep up with changes in how people identify themselves.

They don't need to -- while thousands of people are happy to pay for the gold supporter packages, there's no need for them to move with the times.

That's business I guess.

Not many places offer the same value, so we're prisoners of market forces...

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

"I know of 'straight' men who believe they are straight and Won't admit they are gay/bi but will go with trans/gay men if they are feminine & pretty.

Also many that put they are straight as they know it attracts some gay men

That's just from my experience

So, if a man seeks out extremely masculine women to peg him, he's still straight?"

Yes. A man having sex with a woman is considered straight

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Then just delete any straight guy who asks to play bi if it bothers you that much OP.Its fab it happens.

Just like I'm straight but people especially couples seem to think I should be bi on here and can get quite pushy about the fact they think I would love putting on a show with the woman for the man. Does it annoy me no it just makes me roll my eyes and delete the message and either block or put a note on their profile.

It's fab it won't change and getting annoyed about it is pointless.

If it is a massive bug bear for you both then block all males and go search for men who are bi and ye like the look of them.

People have their own reasons as to why they portray their profile the way they do. Some are nervous of being outed in public when they prefer to keep their fab life private and yes that does happen on here anyone who thinks it doesn't is naieve. Or maybe they don't want to put women off who don't want to meet bi men. There's a load of reasons why people aren't completely truthful about it but at the end of the day it's their choice. It may not suit you but it's easier to delete a message and forget about it than allow it to annoy you .

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Then just delete any straight guy who asks to play bi if it bothers you that much OP.Its fab it happens.

It's fab it won't change and getting annoyed about it is pointless.

If it is a massive bug bear for you both then block all males and go search for men who are bi and ye like the look of them.

This 1000%

If someone we were interested in and physically attracted to happened to have straight on their profile but in conversation said they were open to bi play, we'd not care.

Assuming of course when push came to shove (pun intended) he didn't become 100% straight and demand a 1m distance between him and I at all times.

Or about 1.10m if we were having a Fox sandwich.

Then he'd be asked to go home.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know of 'straight' men who believe they are straight and Won't admit they are gay/bi but will go with trans/gay men if they are feminine & pretty.

Also many that put they are straight as they know it attracts some gay men

That's just from my experience

So, if a man seeks out extremely masculine women to peg him, he's still straight?

Yes. A man having sex with a woman is considered straight "

Despite all outward gender signals being male?

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By *uryWhipMan
over a year ago

Harringay

A lot of women reject bi guys on here. I've seen loads of guys that are on Fabguys who are on here as straight. I've even been asked not to verify them on here, that includes guys I've met on here who arent on Fabguys. It is annoying and insulting. I keep having to give up my search for women and couples simply because Im bi and verifications from men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know of 'straight' men who believe they are straight and Won't admit they are gay/bi but will go with trans/gay men if they are feminine & pretty.

Also many that put they are straight as they know it attracts some gay men

That's just from my experience

So, if a man seeks out extremely masculine women to peg him, he's still straight?

Yes. A man having sex with a woman is considered straight

Despite all outward gender signals being male?"

Women can be masculine and straight at the same time, what's your point?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I couldn’t care less if a guy is bi! It wouldn’t stop me meeting them. If anything I find it a turn on more than a turn off

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

"I know of 'straight' men who believe they are straight and Won't admit they are gay/bi but will go with trans/gay men if they are feminine & pretty.

Also many that put they are straight as they know it attracts some gay men

That's just from my experience

So, if a man seeks out extremely masculine women to peg him, he's still straight?

Yes. A man having sex with a woman is considered straight

Despite all outward gender signals being male?"

What point are you trying to get to?

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

"I couldn’t care less if a guy is bi! It wouldn’t stop me meeting them. If anything I find it a turn on more than a turn off

Am I right in thinking you previously felt differently about this? I think I saw a comment from you about it once.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I couldn’t care less if a guy is bi! It wouldn’t stop me meeting them. If anything I find it a turn on more than a turn off

Am I right in thinking you previously felt differently about this? I think I saw a comment from you about it once."

Yes that was me! I did a lot of questioning why and realised it was rooted in bigotry. I’m actually ashamed of my previous stance.

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By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

I'm bi, but that doesn't mean I'll screw anything that moves, I still have the same thumbs up/down based on which way the wind blows for everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I couldn’t care less if a guy is bi! It wouldn’t stop me meeting them. If anything I find it a turn on more than a turn off

Am I right in thinking you previously felt differently about this? I think I saw a comment from you about it once.

Yes that was me! I did a lot of questioning why and realised it was rooted in bigotry. I’m actually ashamed of my previous stance. "

You shouldn't be shameful of views you had before inspection. We take a shitload of duff information and baises in, and that's gonna cause us to have our own poor programming.

It's hugely to your credit that you have taken the time to do the inspection and change your views. It's a lot easier to justify out old views than create new ones.

You've done everything that can be asked of you. That's should be a cause of pride not shame.

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

"I couldn’t care less if a guy is bi! It wouldn’t stop me meeting them. If anything I find it a turn on more than a turn off

Am I right in thinking you previously felt differently about this? I think I saw a comment from you about it once.

Yes that was me! I did a lot of questioning why and realised it was rooted in bigotry. I’m actually ashamed of my previous stance. "

No need for shame, most people are unwilling or unable to question their own beliefs, overcoming that is huge in terms of personal development. Celebrate the growth and self understanding, it's sexy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I couldn’t care less if a guy is bi! It wouldn’t stop me meeting them. If anything I find it a turn on more than a turn off

Am I right in thinking you previously felt differently about this? I think I saw a comment from you about it once.

Yes that was me! I did a lot of questioning why and realised it was rooted in bigotry. I’m actually ashamed of my previous stance.

You shouldn't be shameful of views you had before inspection. We take a shitload of duff information and baises in, and that's gonna cause us to have our own poor programming.

It's hugely to your credit that you have taken the time to do the inspection and change your views. It's a lot easier to justify out old views than create new ones.

You've done everything that can be asked of you. That's should be a cause of pride not shame.

Introspection is a wonderful thing! And there is no personal growth without it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I couldn’t care less if a guy is bi! It wouldn’t stop me meeting them. If anything I find it a turn on more than a turn off

Am I right in thinking you previously felt differently about this? I think I saw a comment from you about it once.

Yes that was me! I did a lot of questioning why and realised it was rooted in bigotry. I’m actually ashamed of my previous stance.

No need for shame, most people are unwilling or unable to question their own beliefs, overcoming that is huge in terms of personal development. Celebrate the growth and self understanding, it's sexy."

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I couldn’t care less if a guy is bi! It wouldn’t stop me meeting them. If anything I find it a turn on more than a turn off

Am I right in thinking you previously felt differently about this? I think I saw a comment from you about it once.

Yes that was me! I did a lot of questioning why and realised it was rooted in bigotry. I’m actually ashamed of my previous stance.

You shouldn't be shameful of views you had before inspection. We take a shitload of duff information and baises in, and that's gonna cause us to have our own poor programming.

It's hugely to your credit that you have taken the time to do the inspection and change your views. It's a lot easier to justify out old views than create new ones.

You've done everything that can be asked of you. That's should be a cause of pride not shame.

Introspection is a wonderful thing! And there is no personal growth without it. "
preach x

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By *rlandoMan
over a year ago

Yorks/Lincs

There's a lot of moaning on here but the wrong sort

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow.

One thing I was impressed with when I joined this site is how non-judgemental it is.

This post has changed my view entirely.

It is not up to you, nor anyone to dictate or pigeonhole my sexuality.

Sexuality is a spectrum, not rigidly categorised.

The closest I identify with is ‘Hetero flexible’

There’s not a category on here for that, so I put it on my profile and tick ‘straight’ for ease.

I’ve found the worst category on this site is ‘Couple’, especially the smarmy type who think they are Gods gift to the human race.

Fortunately I have another category which makes people like the OPs tolerable, and that is ‘blocked’.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess it doesn’t seem to bother many people what it says on a profile as I do seem to get a lot of unwanted attention from guys on here, even though my profile states that I’m NOT looking to meet with men.

I guess its just part of the experience of being on this site….. it’s not like it takes much effort to ignore or delete any messages that are not suitable or to your preferences.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"don't message people pretending you are"

Any other rules you wish to dictate people to follow

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By *rlandoMan
over a year ago

Yorks/Lincs

"Wow.

One thing I was impressed with when I joined this site is how non-judgemental it is.

This post has changed my view entirely.

It is not up to you, nor anyone to dictate or pigeonhole my sexuality.

Sexuality is a spectrum, not rigidly categorised.

The closest I identify with is ‘Hetero flexible’

There’s not a category on here for that, so I put it on my profile and tick ‘straight’ for ease.

I’ve found the worst category on this site is ‘Couple’, especially the smarmy type who think they are Gods gift to the human race.

Fortunately I have another category which makes people like the OPs tolerable, and that is ‘blocked’.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree that sexuality should not be pigeonholed, sexuality is complex and tastes can change from day to day.

If I get chatting to someone who I don't initially find attractive, perceptions can change as you get to know the person, or the same goes for people who drink or do other substances, a mental state can alter what you consider a usual taste or preference.

I consider myself straight, I'm not physically attracted to men. But I have had sex with both men and women. I find a convincing TV to be just as attractive as a "REAL" woman. Its the feminine look and not the equipment that attracts me. In a MMF scenario I'll happily experiment with another man, for me it is the woman that is erousing me and the rest is tied up in the activity.

I have tried sleeping with a man with no woman involved, for me it didn't feel right. I'm happy to have found that out through experimenting.

People should feel free to experiment without being judged by a couple of tick boxes. Life is too short.

Gay, straight, bi or curious should not be of any concern. The fact is this person has reached out to you, and finds your profile of interest and wants to engage with you as a couple. Are you gonna judge them on a couple of tick boxes?

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By *il sub princessWoman
over a year ago

West Midlands

"I know of 'straight' men who believe they are straight and Won't admit they are gay/bi but will go with trans/gay men if they are feminine & pretty.

Also many that put they are straight as they know it attracts some gay men

That's just from my experience

So, if a man seeks out extremely masculine women to peg him, he's still straight?"

Yes, he's just attracted to strong masculine women

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I guess it doesn’t seem to bother many people what it says on a profile as I do seem to get a lot of unwanted attention from guys on here, even though my profile states that I’m NOT looking to meet with men.

I guess its just part of the experience of being on this site….. it’s not like it takes much effort to ignore or delete any messages that are not suitable or to your preferences. "

Why don't you block incoming messages from men?

Then the only unwanted attention you'll get is people viewing your profile. And looking harms nobody.

The site has tools to help stop unwanted contact but many choose not to use them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Totally agree that sexuality should not be pigeonholed, sexuality is complex and tastes can change from day to day.

I have tried sleeping with a man with no woman involved, for me it didn't feel right. I'm happy to have found that out through experimenting.

People should feel free to experiment without being judged by a couple of tick boxes. Life is too short.

This site needs more of this

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By *MandMMCouple
over a year ago

Welwyn garden city

"I think there's a massive difference between someone who is unsure of their sexuality and communicates that when messaging and someone who is totally comfortable with their sexuality and chooses to lie about it on their profile to get sex with those who state they don't meet bi guys, when they are in fact bi, and have had many bi experiences.

It's about being lied to, or knowing they're lying to others.

This

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By *angerous123Man
over a year ago

Leeds

"I couldn’t care less if a guy is bi! It wouldn’t stop me meeting them. If anything I find it a turn on more than a turn off

Am I right in thinking you previously felt differently about this? I think I saw a comment from you about it once.

Yes that was me! I did a lot of questioning why and realised it was rooted in bigotry. I’m actually ashamed of my previous stance. "

Respect for admitting that

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By *aked_magicMan
over a year ago

the gutter looking at the stars (UAE)

They seem to come in waves, i dont get just one Fab Straight guy message me, ill get a string of them, i swear they're like pack animals!

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