FabSwingers.com forum: Man attacks gf after she refuses to sleep with other men

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This one is on Wales online, he wanted her to come onto sites like this and "show of her genitalia" and he wanted her to flirt with and have sex with other men so he could watch.

Link here - copy and paste if you want to read it

https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/man-attacks-partner-after-refused-25223424#ICID=Android_WalesOnlineNewsApp_AppShare

It made me wonder. How many woman or men do you think might be here but not really want to do it? Are just doing it because their partner wants them to?

I would hope not a lot of them, but I guess we just never know.

Same as how many wifes or girlfriends have shared photos with their significant other and are now on fab as a "couple" but the woman has no idea she is on here?

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

I can only talk for us. We chatted openly when we first met about our past, kinks and things we were keen to try. I did not have to persuade joanne as she was up for it as swinging was an itch she had not scratched. Now we are here and enjoying our journey together. John

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By *oJo pornstarMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

In the past i have meet cples were i have had a strong suspicion that the swinging was to please the hubby, sad and seriously off putting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In the past i have meet cples were i have had a strong suspicion that the swinging was to please the hubby, sad and seriously off putting."

Yes I once spoke to a couple and it was clear the woman wasnt really into it at all. She just kept saying he wanted to watch her with a woman

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By *JandCMCouple
over a year ago

cardiff

[Removed by poster at 11/10/22 23:34:38]

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By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

So many people here just to please partners.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chatted to a fair few men (cpls) where it quickly became apparent the wife/gf is not even remotely interested in sex with ladies. I think some just say 'yep sure we'll sign up', to placate the partner a bit. Which obviously says a lot about the relationship? Maybe just fantasy based, maybe just doing a bit of research and figuring solo women who want to engage in ffm are pretty much as rare as hens teeth? I do not know?... But yep, it goes on a fair bit

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"So many people here just to please partners. "

^^^This, sadly. We've seen a lot of profiles where it's pretty evident that the woman isn't really aware and her pics are being shared without her knowing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a 'couple' once. She was clearly doing it because he wanted it. Sadly it was my first experience with a couple and it was extremely uncomfortable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I met a 'couple' once. She was clearly doing it because he wanted it. Sadly it was my first experience with a couple and it was extremely uncomfortable. "

That's such a bad first experience

hopefully you've had better

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

I think a fair few people are pressurised to be here by their partners

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By *astMan
over a year ago

local

"This one is on Wales online, he wanted her to come onto sites like this and "show of her genitalia" and he wanted her to flirt with and have sex with other men so he could watch.

Link here - copy and paste if you want to read it

https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/man-attacks-partner-after-refused-25223424#ICID=Android_WalesOnlineNewsApp_AppShare

It made me wonder. How many woman or men do you think might be here but not really want to do it? Are just doing it because their partner wants them to?

I would hope not a lot of them, but I guess we just never know.

Same as how many wifes or girlfriends have shared photos with their significant other and are now on fab as a "couple" but the woman has no idea she is on here?

On another note; only fans fake barbed stabs boyfriend in the heart

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This one is on Wales online, he wanted her to come onto sites like this and "show of her genitalia" and he wanted her to flirt with and have sex with other men so he could watch.

Link here - copy and paste if you want to read it

https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/man-attacks-partner-after-refused-25223424#ICID=Android_WalesOnlineNewsApp_AppShare

It made me wonder. How many woman or men do you think might be here but not really want to do it? Are just doing it because their partner wants them to?

I would hope not a lot of them, but I guess we just never know.

Same as how many wifes or girlfriends have shared photos with their significant other and are now on fab as a "couple" but the woman has no idea she is on here?

On another note; only fans fake barbed stabs boyfriend in the heart

Not sure how that's in away linked or relevant?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So many people here just to please partners.

^^^This, sadly. We've seen a lot of profiles where it's pretty evident that the woman isn't really aware and her pics are being shared without her knowing. "

This, here, and in person too. Seen many where 1 partner is more keen on swinging, than the other & not always the guy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So many people here just to please partners.

^^^This, sadly. We've seen a lot of profiles where it's pretty evident that the woman isn't really aware and her pics are being shared without her knowing.

This, here, and in person too. Seen many where 1 partner is more keen on swinging, than the other & not always the guy. "

Yes, because they're basically twats. Or it's just a fake profile

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By *entBarryUKMan
over a year ago

Ashford

"In the past i have meet cples were i have had a strong suspicion that the swinging was to please the hubby, sad and seriously off putting."

I have experienced this. He was the driving force and she just went along with it. The first time seemed okay, but later i realised that she was not happy with him, so i stopped seeing them. They split up shortly after and I she explained that he was goading her into it. I apologised for not realising sooner. I still feel guilty for uknowingly being part of his abuse.

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

[Removed by poster at 12/10/22 04:31:58]

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

"Funnily enough we have seen it backfire in an unexpected way a couple of times.

We have been at clubs, a couple get chatting to us and it's clear that the woman was there to keep the male happy.

They have gone of to a room with a guy and the woman has enjoyed herself, she's then gone off on her own with a guy and enjoyed that too.

The next thing you know, she's on guy number 5 or whatever and he is crying on our shoulder that he didn't expect her to go off like that...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In the past i have meet cples were i have had a strong suspicion that the swinging was to please the hubby, sad and seriously off putting."

Ive had that too and it's awful. I felt bad for her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of the bedhoppers early podcasts included this sort of situation.

Control and coercion are terrible things.

Some clubs have staff trained to look out for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This.

Heard a few horror stories from guys who have turned up to a couple's house and it was quickly became obvious the wife was coerced. To their credit they said they left.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Yes it does happen and it's not nice to see when you do see it.I saw it at an event where you could tell the woman was so uncomfortable and didn't want to be there at all while her partner was a pest who didn't take no for an answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds about right.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

It made me wonder. How many woman or men do you think might be here but not really want to do it? Are just doing it because their partner wants them to?

I would hope not a lot of them, but I guess we just never know.

Same as how many wifes or girlfriends have shared photos with their significant other and are now on fab as a "couple" but the woman has no idea she is on here?

I think there are more women than men on here just to please their partner.

And many more women whose pictures are shared and then used unknowingly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Many many many.

Lots of times in clubs the man is very clearly coercing his wife/ girlfriend into sex with other people and she's not into it.

Pissed up women who are clearly trying to blot it out. I pointed this out to a man friend and he was oblivious. Cock blind perhaps.

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By *aughty Couple ABCCouple
over a year ago

West Bromwich

It may have taken my hubby many years to persuade me to try this lifestyle, but I must say I think I'm now more into it than he is. Yes I do say 'hubby wants to watch' or ' hubby wants a video' because his needs and feelings have to come into it too.

If I don't want to do something, then no amount of coercion will persuade me

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By *herrybakewellCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

"In the past i have meet cples were i have had a strong suspicion that the swinging was to please the hubby, sad and seriously off putting.

Yes I once spoke to a couple and it was clear the woman wasnt really into it at all. She just kept saying he wanted to watch her with a woman"

Agreed, we've had this same experience.

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By *olf and RedCouple
over a year ago

Nr Cardiff or at Chams Darlaston

Read the article and he sounds like a piece of work!

It’s domestic abuse covered up as he wanted to watch her with others.

I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be. Wolf and I discuss everything we do involving swinging so that we are both happy with whatever we decide.

I agree though, that I’m sure there are couples here, where one half is more invested in this lifestyle than the other.

Red

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Abusers don't really need a specific reason the background of here just makes a good story for the reporters. He wants someone to control and would abuse over almost anything.

As to people who are on here who don't want to be , more will be coerced than say they are. Some think they are willing as they haven't thought deeply enough about it and very very many will be willing participants.

The context doesn't matter to me. The actions do.

Whether someone is bullied into being on here , eating a certain food against their will or buying a certain brand of beans they don't want........ it's all coercion

A sex site makes for juicy reading tho

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"It may have taken my hubby many years to persuade me to try this lifestyle, but I must say I think I'm now more into it than he is. Yes I do say 'hubby wants to watch' or ' hubby wants a video' because his needs and feelings have to come into it too.

If I don't want to do something, then no amount of coercion will persuade me

And yet....

'It may have taken my hubby many years to persuade me to try this lifestyle'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good thread, OP. Have actually never seen this discussed here although it's clearly quite common to find swinging coupes where coercion is involved. Have never experienced it but heard some horror stories.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It comes out in posts every now and then, and you think wtf?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I don't want to do something, then no amount of coercion will persuade me

And yet....

'It may have taken my hubby many years to persuade me to try this lifestyle'"

Years of coercion. People often don't realise.

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By *illingdon_ladMan
over a year ago

Bicester

I used to see this quite often, always the man leering over women but his partner sitting quiet in the corner, another red flag for me was the partner getting in a pool/hot tub trying her hardest to cover up and avoiding eye contact. Part of me wanted to say something but I don't know their dynamic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both parties have too be into it or it just doesn't work .Nobody can be happy if pressurised too play if they don't want too or uncomfortable doing .It just wouldn't work .

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By *ear in the chairMan
over a year ago

yeah there

I've experienced the flip side where a partner wanted to explore ffm because she assumed it would be my fantasy and wanted to please. When I realised she wasn't into it for herself as well, time was called on that scenario (before anything happenened) and a serious chat followed about limits.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I've had a meet where only half of the couple were interested and that ended pretty soon. I've also seen guys dogging with extremely d*unk partners and wondered just how much consent was in play. I've also seen the male half of a couple looking very uncomfortable in clubs. Communication really is key.

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By *arkandlovelyWoman
over a year ago

South Derbyshire

Frequently I see posts where a man is asking how to get his partner into swinging (or whatever) because she just isn't interested. It always gives me the collywobbles. If you aren't both freely and enthusiastically interested, you shouldn't be doing it. Lots of people have a very worrying understanding of consent.

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

It made me wonder. How many woman or men do you think might be here but not really want to do it? Are just doing it because their partner wants them to?

I would hope not a lot of them, but I guess we just never know.

Same as how many wifes or girlfriends have shared photos with their significant other and are now on fab as a "couple" but the woman has no idea she is on here?

I think there are more women than men on here just to please their partner.

And many more women whose pictures are shared and then used unknowingly "

Spot on. We had a few cpls contact us where the lady wanted to be a pillow princess for joanne. Thats a huge red flag where the lady only wants to recieve when playing with joanne. It is abuse when partners male or female force the other to come on here just for their gratification only.

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

"Frequently I see posts where a man is asking how to get his partner into swinging (or whatever) because she just isn't interested. It always gives me the collywobbles. If you aren't both freely and enthusiastically interested, you shouldn't be doing it. Lots of people have a very worrying understanding of consent."

Concent is paramount. But many dont give a dam for their significant other, only their own need or sexual greed they care about.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Concent is paramount. But many dont give a dam for their significant other, only their own need or sexual greed they care about. "

I think there's a huge difference between asking for advice and actual physical violence. Just because a man is unsure how to approach a subject doesn't make him violent or coercive. Free and enthusiastic participate sometimes occurs after fears, doubts and concerns have been addressed. It is ok to be wary at first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've worked in the community for over 30 years as a result visited many thousands of homes/people/couples/familys etc.

When I first started I soon learned that appearances and what they said could be deceptive.

Men will attack women and others for various reasons or no reason as do women attack other women/men for similar.

Most of the time a man or woman attacks their other half is fueled by drink/non-prescription tablets and often they are dysfunctional lot.

Most of the time men or women will attack their OF as they are d*unk/tablets/etc as stated earlier and or they find out they have been cheating and or the child they thought that was theirs is not.

Sadly, too many men/women and even children do not need a reason to attack another and attacking another is never right unless it is self defence and as a last resort.

Years ago 30+ plus years ago when we first started being watched/flashing/wife fucking and her alone with the other guy, i got a bit jealous and told her and she reassured it that it was me that initiated and she was lucky and would never cheat. She did cheat, I did feel hurt but as I clearly had a part to play in it as well as she rightly reminded me, we got over it.

As they say, facts can be stranger than fiction

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Fear of losing their partner, wanting to please, fear of repercussions for not doing what's wanted of you.

They can be high drivers in doing things you really don't want to and can easily get exploited by a significant other.

Yes, seen it more than I'd care to imagine I would.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is quite worrying isn't it?

In a couple to couple swap it's a four way lusting required. I am usually quite backwards at coming forwards towards the other woman until I know for certain that she really does want me. I know that I'm somewhat of an acquired taste and I won't fully commit until I've seen the truth in her eyes for myself. Likewise I know immediately by the look in her eyes if bad bitch is really into the guy or not and a not equals stop.

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By *layTimeEssexCouple
over a year ago

Stansted

I think there are lots of couples where one side is not really into it and almost being coerced. I see lots of comments about the lady not being into it and being somewhat forced by the man. It goes the other way too, especially with older couples - plenty out their doing it for the lady and the man is not so keen but just going along with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think there are lots of couples where one side is not really into it and almost being coerced. I see lots of comments about the lady not being into it and being somewhat forced by the man. It goes the other way too, especially with older couples - plenty out their doing it for the lady and the man is not so keen but just going along with it. "

Great post.

My was not "really into it" but when she was bing massaged/fucked and especailly if I was not there, trust me she enjoyed it. She is shy talking about it and would always say it was ok, but the feedback i got from the blokes confirmed my thoughts. We alwsy had a fuck there and then or if it was her and the bloke, we'd fuck after wards and my wife enjoyed this fuck and the one before.

She loved the Turk guy cut cock 9 inches at l_ast but that was "alright" but she did talk quiet a bit intially how the chap wnet in 2/3 inches when she was wearing her cotton knickers and he was "massing" her pussy with his cock - but we were in our 20's then and the chap was about 22/25.

I find women are reluctanct to talk about it and the older many women get, like you said, they want it more then their men in many cases.

My wife never admitted to wanking in recent years but I got her a new toy and now she admits she loves it when alone about once a week "I don't want to talk about it." -

I'm lucky to have seen my wife get fucked as its like a long espisode of me cuming for a good 30 to 60 mins.

The best bit I recall is a young many saying bye to us and in the hallway just kissed her in front of me as we were about to leave and pressed his finger into her white leggings, pussy crease for a few moments. We got home in about 40 min and she wanted me to smash her with a dildo - that was our best meet IMO

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

there are more than you think that dont want to swing and have to just to please .. you can see it on here and you see it in clubs and out dogging and dont all me fooled in to thinking its all male led as its not quite a few are fem led too ..

i rekon going by what we've seen over the last 30 years at l_ast 25% of couples are one sided could be a lot more ...on our couples profile we have met and walked away from quite a few that have not felt right

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

plus its so easy to spot the difference between a together couple and a not together couple

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"plus its so easy to spot the difference between a together couple and a not together couple"

Together and not together in what way though? I’d have thought a not actually together couple as in a fwb couple would be more likely to both be happy about things than a husband and wife couple where the wife may be being “persuaded” by the husband.

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By *anny Boy31Man
over a year ago

Belfast all over the Uk and Ireland

Met a couple one time when I first joined here. Came to my house and were a lovely couple. I seemed to just get vibes before we even got down to anything that the lady wasn’t really into it. Wondered was it me and tried to reassure her she didn’t have to do anything but the hubby seemed adamant to the point forceful. Finally I called the whole thing off but I always wonder what the real reason was?

Hubby controlled the profile so I could never contact her directly.

They left the site shortly after

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a person is capable of such violence, then the trigger point could be anything. If not this reason then potentially any another random thing??

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Yes…we’ve had a few messages from ‘couples’ where it’s clearly just the guy and she’s got no clue at all.

One yesterday was going off to speak to his GF to tell her all about us and getting FF play sorted. Still hasn’t come back…FFS I was looking forward to watching too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"there are more than you think that dont want to swing and have to just to please .. you can see it on here and you see it in clubs and out dogging and dont all me fooled in to thinking its all male led as its not quite a few are fem led too ..

Good on you for walking away. It also happens in kink and fetish scene where people can be pressured into things they are obviously uncomfortable with. It's one reason I don't like the label 'kink shaming' - there is no shame in saying something isn't for you while not criticising those who do enjoy it.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"In the past i have meet cples were i have had a strong suspicion that the swinging was to please the hubby, sad and seriously off putting."

Oh no...that's really sad....and traumatising to say the l_ast for the unwilling party.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"In the past i have meet cples were i have had a strong suspicion that the swinging was to please the hubby, sad and seriously off putting.

Yes I once spoke to a couple and it was clear the woman wasnt really into it at all. She just kept saying he wanted to watch her with a woman"

Doesn't work for me because I'm convinced I'm straight and with my neurodivergent brain, I'd just freeze if something doesn't feel right. Then if it keeps happening.. Then I stop out right and go home...that's when the Maverick comes in.

Never mind what "he" wants, I want to know what the lady wants. I'd have a sneaky suspicion to take her to the ladies without him and really get to the bottom of things.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I met a 'couple' once. She was clearly doing it because he wanted it. Sadly it was my first experience with a couple and it was extremely uncomfortable.

That's such a bad first experience

hopefully you've had better"

I'm dreading that. I'm awkward enough as it is. Maybe I need to have a plan B. " we tie the man up and go and drink all the prosecco" Or plan C. "We tie the man up and sit on either end until he begs for mercy."

But in all fairness, coercive control is not what I want to get involved with.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"This one is on Wales online, he wanted her to come onto sites like this and "show of her genitalia" and he wanted her to flirt with and have sex with other men so he could watch.

Link here - copy and paste if you want to read it

https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/man-attacks-partner-after-refused-25223424#ICID=Android_WalesOnlineNewsApp_AppShare

It made me wonder. How many woman or men do you think might be here but not really want to do it? Are just doing it because their partner wants them to?

I would hope not a lot of them, but I guess we just never know.

Same as how many wifes or girlfriends have shared photos with their significant other and are now on fab as a "couple" but the woman has no idea she is on here?

On another note; only fans fake barbed stabs boyfriend in the heart

Shudder.... abuse comes in many forms...sadly.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I've seen this many times. The most memorable being the young wife of an absolute cretin of a man sobbing because she didn't want to do it but was petrified of him. She begged me not to say anything to him or just leave because she was that scared. The wanker left her in a dogging car park in the early hours of the morning not long after that because she didn't want to entertain some random bloke that he'd chosen, actually went home and went to bed while she was alone in a car park in the middle of nowhere!

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By *anny Boy31Man
over a year ago

Belfast all over the Uk and Ireland

"I met a 'couple' once. She was clearly doing it because he wanted it. Sadly it was my first experience with a couple and it was extremely uncomfortable.

That's such a bad first experience

hopefully you've had better

But in all fairness, coercive control is not what I want to get involved with."

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Many many many.

Lots of times in clubs the man is very clearly coercing his wife/ girlfriend into sex with other people and she's not into it.

Pissed up women who are clearly trying to blot it out. I pointed this out to a man friend and he was oblivious. Cock blind perhaps. "

OMG!!

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By *evoncream2017Couple
over a year ago

exeter

This is a really important post. Thanks for bringing it to everyone attention. We always discuss and both consent. Interested to see the sites view on this

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I used to see this quite often, always the man leering over women but his partner sitting quiet in the corner, another red flag for me was the partner getting in a pool/hot tub trying her hardest to cover up and avoiding eye contact. Part of me wanted to say something but I don't know their dynamic. "

If you are at a club or party, try telling another lady you trust. Someone like me would want to take her into the ladies for a chat to see if it's all ok. there are things I disclose to women that I don't feel comfortable disclosing to men even my male psychotherapists.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've seen this many times. The most memorable being the young wife of an absolute cretin of a man sobbing because she didn't want to do it but was petrified of him. She begged me not to say anything to him or just leave because she was that scared. The wanker left her in a dogging car park in the early hours of the morning not long after that because she didn't want to entertain some random bloke that he'd chosen, actually went home and went to bed while she was alone in a car park in the middle of nowhere! "

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

I think I struggle to understand consent because of the way I was raised probably also mixed with autistic traits.

I have to constantly remind myself that people are allowed to be how they are even if it upsets me.

I only discovered the autistic traits this year along with the fact that I was never myself in childhood, I just always saw myself as an appendage to my parents.

I wonder how many people feel like they are just a part of their partner and not their own individual self.

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By *anny Boy31Man
over a year ago

Belfast all over the Uk and Ireland

I’m gonna have to watch closer from now on. No way would I want to be party to anything that’s not fully consensual. Pissed up women in clubs is an angle I never thought of

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I’m gonna have to watch closer from now on. No way would I want to be party to anything that’s not fully consensual. Pissed up women in clubs is an angle I never thought of"

It's one of many reasons, I don't drink when I go out. Nope. I prefer sober sex.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

Absolutely dreadful!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In the past i have meet cples were i have had a strong suspicion that the swinging was to please the hubby, sad and seriously off putting."

Iv experienced this too. I left after 20 minutes as it obviously the wife wasn't into it and only doing for her husband.

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By *wingin CatMan
over a year ago

London

"This one is on Wales online, he wanted her to come onto sites like this and "show of her genitalia" and he wanted her to flirt with and have sex with other men so he could watch.

Link here - copy and paste if you want to read it

https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/man-attacks-partner-after-refused-25223424#ICID=Android_WalesOnlineNewsApp_AppShare

It made me wonder. How many woman or men do you think might be here but not really want to do it? Are just doing it because their partner wants them to?

I would hope not a lot of them, but I guess we just never know.

Same as how many wifes or girlfriends have shared photos with their significant other and are now on fab as a "couple" but the woman has no idea she is on here?

Two-year community order? The cowardly b*stard should have been jailed.

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