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Funeral

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By *olly_chromatic OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

My wife's funeral is to take place at our local parish church on Wednesday (12th). To some on fab it will be a surprise that I was married, all I can say is that our relationship was complicated by my transgender leanings. To many of my closer friends though it was no secret, and they are aware of how much I loved her even though things had changed between us over the past dozen years.

A few of my closest friends have indicated that they wish to attend, to show their respects and provide emotional support to me. Please PM me for details of time and place.

Note that I will be presenting in my male identity throughout the day. Few in our family and among her friends know of Polly, this was my wifes wishes, and now is no time for me to cause disruption or pain to my family.

I hope that all understand how the current time is very difficult for me. My words here seem awkward and impersonal as I read them back, but this is the only way that I can keep a grip on my emotions at present.

Holding love in my heart, Polly xx

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By *inballs99Man
over a year ago

Blackheath

Polly I cannot say anything to change what has happened but I truly feel for you and your family in this hard time x

I know we don't know eachother but I sure know how hurt feels x

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By *olly_chromatic OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport


"Polly I cannot say anything to change what has happened but I truly feel for you and your family in this hard time x

I know we don't know eachother but I sure know how hurt feels x"

Thank you xxx

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

For you to have to suppress your identity just as you are in emotional turmoil: your actions are deeply respectful, but it is hard to see them as prompted by love. Such an expressed desire may be intended to protect you, or prompted by an understandable reaction to what must have been so hard for both of you, but either way seems led by fear. What a fearful world we live in.

I don't know you either, so please forgive my impertinence, but my wishes are nonetheless true for all that. May the day bring you some peace, however hard-won. And I hope that one day soon, no-one will have to hide who they are because of the fear, ignorance, and anger of others.

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden

OP, you have my deepest sympathy.

I lost my partner in May. The funeral was held in June and yesterday (9th) we had a memorial service so those that couldn't attend the funeral could say their goodbyes.

The thing I learnt was to take some time for yourself to say goodbye. At the funeral you will be surrounded by people all offering commiserations and meaning well but you will need some peaceful time for your own thoughts about your wife.

Good luck on Wednesday and I hope everything goes smoothly.

My thoughts go with you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

XXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My wife's funeral is to take place at our local parish church on Wednesday (12th). To some on fab it will be a surprise that I was married, all I can say is that our relationship was complicated by my transgender leanings. To many of my closer friends though it was no secret, and they are aware of how much I loved her even though things had changed between us over the past dozen years.

A few of my closest friends have indicated that they wish to attend, to show their respects and provide emotional support to me. Please PM me for details of time and place.

Note that I will be presenting in my male identity throughout the day. Few in our family and among her friends know of Polly, this was my wifes wishes, and now is no time for me to cause disruption or pain to my family.

I hope that all understand how the current time is very difficult for me. My words here seem awkward and impersonal as I read them back, but this is the only way that I can keep a grip on my emotions at present.

Holding love in my heart, Polly xx"

xx

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Loads of hugs honey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

from us to you Polly

NBVN x

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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru

Sending love Polly

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
over a year ago

Markfield

Sending hugs x

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By *achel SmythTV/TS
over a year ago

Farnborough

Polly xx

We have never met or previously spoken, but my heart genuinely goes out to you at this very difficult time xx

I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through at the moment, and know from friends who have also lost their partners, until it happens, it is so difficult to comprehend from outside xxx

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family

Love Rachel xxx

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I will be thinking of you on Wednesday and sending you my support at this difficult time x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending you all my love Polly, so sorry for your loss

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By *jorkishMan
over a year ago

Seaforth

Sorry for your loss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sending love +strength, will be with you in spirit xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m so sorry Polly . Sending strength and hugs

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Big hugs polly...a very sad day for you ..May you have strength and grace to sustain you today and the future xxx

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Sending all our love, Polly. You are a strong person, but don't forget, you don't have to be strong alone. Your friends have got your back

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Polly, I’m so sorry to read of your loss, I had absolutely no idea.

It’s been obvious from my time of knowing you, just how much you love your wife. You honour that love by saying goodbye in the best way that you know how.

If and when we see each other again, there is a huge hug for you here.

Look after yourself and your family and remember that lots of people love you and will be there for you in any way that you want.

If you want or need to chat, please feel free to message. Sending you love

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

Thoughts are with you Polly at this saddest time xx

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By *olourmeplayfulWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

I’m so sorry you’re experiencing such a devastating loss. Weds will be hard but know we’re all sending the most love to you and your true self

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Thanks for sharing Polly. See you soon.

I'm here if you think I can do anything.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

I will be thinking of you on weds Polly x

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Hope Wednesday goes well OP.

Hug of support.

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By *ritIndianCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

So sorry for your loss xx

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

xx

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

Sending you love & huggles

There are very few words I can give to provide comfort, so I'll simply say I hope all goes as smoothly as possible on Wednesday, and I have every confidence that your support network have you 100%

Much love to you Polly xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry to hear of your loss Polly, will be thinking of you on Wednesday x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending you virtual hugs and strength and kisses

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By *tarflyLouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

Thinking of you and sending much love x

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I'm sorry to hear of this, big hugs

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Lots of love x

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

Sending you hugs Polly.

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

Love and best wishes, Polly.. Xx

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By *olly_chromatic OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

Thank you so much everyone. Fab can be a funny place but it's also somewhere full of lovely people. Polly xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Polly, I had noted how you seem to have been much more active in the forum these last few weeks, and made a bunch of intricately detailed funny posts that were comically dark which I was starting to look forward to, and obviously I have no idea you were dealing with such loss in parallel. So whether you’re here as Polly to find solace in comfortable surroundings or as an escape, I just want to say I hope this place helps and doesn’t hinder and I do hope you’ll still be here in the future.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know you Polly but I can only offer my heartfelt condolences. Stay strong x

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Had a bit of a moment last night in the shower. I have lost someone very close to me recently and I can’t get it out of my head how they have gone for good and the concept of never seeing them again Kinda of just slumped in the shower and had five minutes of misery

Sorry for your loss Polly. Hope the day goes as best it can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Polly I send my deepest sympathies to you and your family at this sorrowful time. Time does slowly heal and make the fondest of memories which each and everyday you will treasure.

I know we have never spoken but the strength you have and courage you show not only to yourself but to others is inspirational

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Xxx

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

Polly you have my sympathies... glad that you have support and you will get through these difficult times in your own way. There is no right or wrong way xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thinking of you Polly. It's a difficult time but I hope you can also think of the happy times you had together. I hope Wednesday goes as well as possible for you.

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

Sorry for your loss

Ar dheis de go raibh a hanam

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By *ermite12ukMan
over a year ago

Solihull and Brentwood

Time is a great healer. Very sorry for your loss.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..

Polly, I am so sorry for your loss. I’m sending love to you at this difficult time

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

Thinking of you, for tomorrow. Sending love. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not presenting male on the day just Polly wearing something respectful. I don’t know you sweetie but wish you whatever consolations you have. My deepest sympathy for your loss.

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

So sorry for your loss Polly.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Awww bless you….. I think you’re showing much wisdom and respect doing the right thing by her & family at this time. Also great you have friends who understand & want to support you. Must be a such a difficult time. Sending you peace x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not presenting male on the day just *Polly wearing something respectful*. I don’t know you sweetie but wish you whatever consolations you have. My deepest sympathy for your loss. "

**

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry to hear about your loss Polly. Stay strong and will be thinking about you and your family on Wednesday.?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry for your loss

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

I'm so sorry to read this, Polly. I hope you and your family are doing ok, and that tomorrow goes as well as it can x

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

[Removed by poster at 11/10/22 23:48:27]

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

Our thoughts are with you polly at this very sad time. Love to you all. Xx

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Love from olov

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your emotions are well and truly understood hun.

Similar circumstances evolved in my late wife...

Time is not a healer.

You and only you will heal and will probably become a woman emotionally tied with respect to your late wife.

X

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

I've always thought the funerals in parts of South America and places like New Orleans are a much more positive approach than ours, where the focus is on the life lived, which is celebrated- as thats the person you knew and spent time with.

While never nice things to attend, whenever i do have to go to one, it always reminds me of a story an old friend told me.

His grandfather was notoriously late all the time. On the day of his funeral, everyone was stood round the grave as the coffin was brought over after the service. As they began to lower him down, my friend (always one with a ready quip) commented "At least he managed to arrive for his own funeral on time"

This resulted in both a clip round the ear from his mother and his gran getting a fit of the giggles.

Later on, his gran came up, gave him a massive hug and thanked him for lightening the mood as his grandfather was a renowned practical joker and would have probably found the whole thing hilarious.

Just do what is right for you to get through the day, the following week and to find whatever oasis of happiness you can in the future- the important people will stick with you along the way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've always thought the funerals in parts of South America and places like New Orleans are a much more positive approach than ours, where the focus is on the life lived, which is celebrated- as thats the person you knew and spent time with.

While never nice things to attend, whenever i do have to go to one, it always reminds me of a story an old friend told me.

His grandfather was notoriously late all the time. On the day of his funeral, everyone was stood round the grave as the coffin was brought over after the service. As they began to lower him down, my friend (always one with a ready quip) commented "At least he managed to arrive for his own funeral on time"

This resulted in both a clip round the ear from his mother and his gran getting a fit of the giggles.

Later on, his gran came up, gave him a massive hug and thanked him for lightening the mood as his grandfather was a renowned practical joker and would have probably found the whole thing hilarious.

Just do what is right for you to get through the day, the following week and to find whatever oasis of happiness you can in the future- the important people will stick with you along the way."
I agree I was raised Catholic I met my husband in the military. That said we were worlds apart on funerals. I was taught the somber aspects of it. His parents passed they chose cremation and to be thrown off a overlook they loved. It was a surreal and a poignant aspect I can agree on. Celebrate they are together.

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By *ilkynmyzzyCouple
over a year ago

Bridlington

Our sincere condolences Polly. Sending you much love and we will be thinking of you.

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By *olly_chromatic OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

Thank you so much everybody. Today is going to be hard, but reading the lovely words from you all does help. We're a funny mixed bunch on these forums, we have all sorts of different opinions, we argue, we joke, we take the piss out of each other, we annoy each other. Just like family really.

So to all my forum-family, though we might fight at times, I love you all dearly. Polly xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hugs

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.


"Thank you so much everybody. Today is going to be hard, but reading the lovely words from you all does help. We're a funny mixed bunch on these forums, we have all sorts of different opinions, we argue, we joke, we take the piss out of each other, we annoy each other. Just like family really.

So to all my forum-family, though we might fight at times, I love you all dearly. Polly xxx"

We all support each other on here polly. Take care of yourself lovely xxx

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

Oh polly I'm so sorry for your loss, I'll have you in my thoughts xx

Tg x

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

Ah, Polly. Hopefully today will go better than you think - from my experience they're usually aren't as bad as we think.

I'll be thinking of you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Best wishes today x

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

Love and best wishes for today Polly..xx

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By *olf and RedCouple
over a year ago

Nr Cardiff or at Chams Darlaston

I hope that today your wife has a good send off and you get plenty of support Polly.

Red x

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Thinking of you today Polly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry for your loss. You will be in my thoughts today

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Polly..sending love & hugs.

Lx

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By *ustintime69Man
over a year ago

Bristol

I don’t know you Polly but I always like reading your forum posts and admire your viewpoints and all I can say is give yourself time to grieve and hold your friends and family close

Best wishes

J

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending u love and hugs today Polly.

Xx

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Sending you much love and thoughts xx

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Much love

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By *olly_chromatic OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

Thank you again everybody. Today went as well as it could have. The service was beautiful, I cried a lot. Reception afterwards gave me time to talk with friends and family in a way that so often we do not.

Fun fact: Being passenger in a funeral cortege gives chance to properly look at houses and gardens that usually you just speed by and don't even notice. On journey from church to crematorium, then crematorium back to reception, I counted five houses with luxurious pampas grass in front gardens...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol glad it went ok for you Polly xxx

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By *yes146Man
over a year ago

London / Bournemouth

[Removed by poster at 12/10/22 18:16:14]

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By *yes146Man
over a year ago

London / Bournemouth

Sorry to hear. Sending love ...

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Oh gosh Polly sorry to see this , no less of a shock even though things were difficult . Hope all runs smoothly. Sending hugs x

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By *olly_chromatic OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

Nobody in my area owning up to be the people with that pampas grass?

Misplaced emotional response I suppose, but it did make me giggle inside when I saw it. Xxx

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights


"Thank you again everybody. Today went as well as it could have. The service was beautiful, I cried a lot. Reception afterwards gave me time to talk with friends and family in a way that so often we do not.

Fun fact: Being passenger in a funeral cortege gives chance to properly look at houses and gardens that usually you just speed by and don't even notice. On journey from church to crematorium, then crematorium back to reception, I counted five houses with luxurious pampas grass in front gardens..."

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville


"Thank you again everybody. Today went as well as it could have. The service was beautiful, I cried a lot. Reception afterwards gave me time to talk with friends and family in a way that so often we do not.

Fun fact: Being passenger in a funeral cortege gives chance to properly look at houses and gardens that usually you just speed by and don't even notice. On journey from church to crematorium, then crematorium back to reception, I counted five houses with luxurious pampas grass in front gardens..."

Five??

That's a 'Who's Near Me?' search..

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