FabSwingers.com forum: Yes, no or maybe?

By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Ok, so you make contact with somebody on here and decide to meet. When you meet in my experience I know fairly quickly whether it is a "definitely yessss", a "definitely noooooo" or a "maybe, could grow on me" kind of gut feeling.

Now then the question is about the "maybe" ones. What do you do? Walk away and think about it, try and get to know them better or decide as it is a "maybe" it is not worth the effort?

Serious question as I am (usually very quick at making decisions) dither sometimes.... but then I d rather dither and not play then go with somebody and wish I had not after.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think maybes are definitely worth having a think about. My best meet ever (who still occasionally makes an appearance) was a maybe that I went away and thought about. So bloody glad I did!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go with your gut instint all the time x

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I generally go with the take a punt option on the maybe meets. If it's not great I don't see them again and if it's not then what a lovely surprise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chat a bit more with maybees as sometimes its an instinctive thing.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I usually know after a few messages whether i am going to meet someone or not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always meet our potential meets in a pub or somewhere where we can have a drink and chat, we usually know in the first 10-15 mins whether its going to be a yes or a no, we haven't had a maybe yet!!

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

meet again maybe..?

if you are'nt sure after 2 socials then in all likelihood its not going to happen..

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I usually know after a few messages whether i am going to meet someone or not"
I know what you mean. I was talking about when you decided to meet and then you find.. it is only a maybe?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would be inclined to go away and think about it, but keep the lines of communication open, if you`re not sure, then don`t do it.

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"meet again maybe..?

if you are'nt sure after 2 socials then in all likelihood its not going to happen..

"
I would agree with that - you answered my question in the way that you might give the initail "maybe" a possible second chance of a meet. I would agree that if a seond meet was still a maybe that would mean a no!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Likewise, I usually know whether I would like to meet a gent or not after a few messages.

Some would continue to keep in contact, whereas others would consider me as hard work and not worth the effort.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe can sometimes be worth more everyone deserves a chance if they are in a maybe list lol xx

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Usually after a few messages i know i want to meet someone, but then i spend a long time getting to know someone. I dont do maybe's that means im questioning whether i want to meet them or not and i only meet people im 100% want to meet

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I would be inclined to go away and think about it, but keep the lines of communication open, if you`re not sure, then don`t do it."
Guess that would be me and I am sure I sometimes miss genuinely nice people just because they did not come across the way I expected. But then it is all about an instinctive selection?

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By *weetdebWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

Just like the op then i too know if its a deffo yes or no but for me there never is a maybe,i can usually tell within 5 mins of meeting if its going to go any further

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Usually after a few messages i know i want to meet someone, but then i spend a long time getting to know someone. I dont do maybe's that means im questioning whether i want to meet them or not and i only meet people im 100% want to meet"
Are you saying you never met somebody whom you liked enough to meet, only to find that the actual meet was a bit disappointing?I can imagine that being possible if you choose very carefully in the initial selection I guess.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Usually after a few messages i know i want to meet someone, but then i spend a long time getting to know someone. I dont do maybe's that means im questioning whether i want to meet them or not and i only meet people im 100% want to meetAre you saying you never met somebody whom you liked enough to meet, only to find that the actual meet was a bit disappointing?I can imagine that being possible if you choose very carefully in the initial selection I guess."

Never happened yet every meet ive had from here has been perfect, great company, lovely respectful guys and not bad in the sack. What more could a girl want

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Usually after a few messages i know i want to meet someone, but then i spend a long time getting to know someone. I dont do maybe's that means im questioning whether i want to meet them or not and i only meet people im 100% want to meetAre you saying you never met somebody whom you liked enough to meet, only to find that the actual meet was a bit disappointing?I can imagine that being possible if you choose very carefully in the initial selection I guess.

Never happened yet every meet ive had from here has been perfect, great company, lovely respectful guys and not bad in the sack. What more could a girl want"
Ok, so that must be down to a good intuitive selection process in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a 'maybe' not long since, but the more I thought about it afterwards the more I realized why it had been a maybe.. and it gradually became a no

I never got back in touch with him nor did he contact me again, so I guess we both must have felt a bit 'meh'

I usually know pretty much straight away, not sure why I dithered about this chap.

oh.. incase of who's reading this, I don't mean the lovely chap I ate baked potatoes with

he's a definite yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always meet people for coffee first before I arrange a play meet. I've met a few people that when we mailed, they were a 'maybe'. I met them for a coffee anyway and some turned into a 'yes' and some were a 'no'.

On the coffee meet I always make my mind up whether it's a yes or a no. I never go away still thinking 'maybe'.

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I always meet people for coffee first before I arrange a play meet. I've met a few people that when we mailed, they were a 'maybe'. I met them for a coffee anyway and some turned into a 'yes' and some were a 'no'.

On the coffee meet I always make my mind up whether it's a yes or a no. I never go away still thinking 'maybe'. "

I also meet for coffee in a public place only. Never strayed from that and never will. I have met a few maybes in my time, some I just needed to understand their shyness, others I had to learn to understand that that bolshy attitude was really only insecurity. And some maybes turned in to great mates for me.

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Bumping as I would love some more opinions please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tough one,

I am torn, Ive met 'maybes' and regretted not doing,

But I can think of a maybe, that should have been a no.

Since that one, maybe's tend to fall into the no. As if I dont feel it then, I will look for it elsewhere, large ocean and what not. I would rather regret not doing, then having done.

Clear as ..... muk sorry

I think only you will know,

Ive slept on it before now and then made my mind up, as I find in bed I think clearly.

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Tough one,

I am torn, Ive met 'maybes' and regretted not doing,

But I can think of a maybe, that should have been a no.

Since that one, maybe's tend to fall into the no. As if I dont feel it then, I will look for it elsewhere, large ocean and what not. I would rather regret not doing, then having done.

Clear as ..... muk sorry

I think only you will know,

Ive slept on it before now and then made my mind up, as I find in bed I think clearly."

Agreed, I need to be in bed to have the sapce to think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you need to give 'maybe's ' a chance!! get to know there personality a bit better.

You've taken the biggest step of meeting them so why not give them the chance??

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Just thinking... how strange that only ladies posted on here. Maybe the chaps dont have that selection process?

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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I think you need to give 'maybe's ' a chance!! get to know there personality a bit better.

You've taken the biggest step of meeting them so why not give them the chance??"
How funny is this.. I just posted about men not posting and there you go lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have had a maybe after messaging, my gut was saying no, we met and said person had embellished their profile. So within 30 secs of meeting them I knew I should have followed my gut as it was a no!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i see no point in trying anymore.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

"Just thinking... how strange that only ladies posted on here. Maybe the chaps dont have that selection process? "

Bare in mind how hard it is fir us chaps to even get a lady to answer that first message, let alone meet for a coffee. But I've never had a 'no' social meet, but then I like to messsge a lot and tend to decide at that stage. By the time a coffee is on the cards I'm usually pretty sure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

havnt seen you in a while.but i hope your ok and well.

stay lovely x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A maybe has to be "get to know them better" , I think the vast majority of people are so nervous on that first meet , gotta give it time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just thinking... how strange that only ladies posted on here. Maybe the chaps dont have that selection process?

Where's my sodding coffee then

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

I have only once received a "want to join me now/later today" message. A quick check of the profile helps make up my mind... For info: I said yes - and it was great fun.

Most of the time, I PM people and strike up a conversation. The next move is based on whether I like the person. And they like me.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

Both of us will know within the first 15/20 minutes of a meet, if it's going to go any further.

Most of the time it's a joint yes as we have usually got a feel of the people through mails and our gut feelings are pretty good.

With a maybe we would walk away...

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

It all depends on how much time I have available.

If I'm traveling a lot then I will only meet the yeses as I still have a coffee meet first.

If I'm ay home with very flexible time I will consider a coffee with a maybe.

Bear in mind, though, that I turn down around 50% of my coffee meets - even some of those who were a "yum yum yes please!".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With me, its either a Yes or a No.

..things that 'grow on you' I typically class as some sort of fungus; for which topical reams are available at your local chemist!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i always have sex on the first meet and have regreted it a few times though not lately because i didnt like the person at all.

or i found out they were not nice people, although i have a couple of times met men i didnt like but the sex was still good anyway.

thats what i like about group sex, if you dont like one it doesnt matter so much because you just concentrate on the one you do like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a maybe that should have been a no. We had chatted for a while (cpl) and wanted to lose my fab cherry so to speak lol

Next time I will listen to my head and try not to be so nice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I met a maybe that should have been a no. We had chatted for a while (cpl) and wanted to lose my fab cherry so to speak lol

Next time I will listen to my head and try not to be so nice

I told you to come home if you weren't comfortable...you should listen to me and your head hunni....mwah luv ya x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i always do my research before meeting.

some i have chatted to for a while and often spojen to on the phone.

so you get an idea of who they are and if you will get on so to speak.

do i play on first meet. mostly yes.

but this is because they have been talking to me for a while and built up a sort of knowledge about me.

i want her/them to be confident about me, and for us all to have a great time.

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