FabSwingers.com forum: Things You Are Unlikely to Hear on Fab

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I read a profile a profile today and didn’t look at the pictures or 47 videos uploaded.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good for you Napoleon Rolo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Things you are unlikely to hear on fab:

Her: Let's fuck

Him: Nah I just want to talk

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Good for you Napoleon Rolo"

I thought so, thanks!

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By *ust MikeMan
over a year ago

Yaxley

There aren’t many guys on this site…

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yes I will take American Express for used underwear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Weather forecasts.

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

A couples profile but only pics of the guy, oh she's doing the ironing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Weather forecasts.

It’s always seemingly wet?

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

Everyone talks about the weather

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Wish these fecking women would stop inboxing me their tits.

Once you seen a boob, you seen all boobs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Weather forecasts.

It’s always seemingly wet?"

Wet is good…

F (Mrs)

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By *ritIndianCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Where are all the single guys?

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't do tonight, I have a headache

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Err, yeah, ok, I did actually include my dangling balls when I measured myself

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I can accommodate but only when my mum is at bingo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a lovely dick pic. I particularly like the use of the dirty toilet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What a lovely dick pic. I particularly like the use of the dirty toilet. "

Keeps the sock on they are so dam sexy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m married and cheating even though my wife is lovely and gives me sex regularly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A couples profile but only pics of the guy, oh she's doing the ironing

You be wrong on that one

I have had a couple profile look at me

They profile pic is them together the rest off the pics are 8 dick pics

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By *eeds fun guyMan
over a year ago

yorkshire

"I’m married and cheating even though my wife is lovely and gives me sex regularly! "

“Gives me sex” - spot on duchess x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't do tonight, I have a headache"

Had someone tell me that to pull out off a meet

We got talking in the morning I sed I didn’t do drop hat meets

But could do later that night at like 6ish

He sed ok I sed ok I be on here at 5 to confirm

Went got shaved and ready went to message him to come over and got sorry can’t come over now I have a sore head

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Don’t judge until you have walked in my shoes, which incidentally are a size 13

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can't do tonight, I have a headache

Had someone tell me that to pull out off a meet

We got talking in the morning I sed I didn’t do drop hat meets

But could do later that night at like 6ish

He sed ok I sed ok I be on here at 5 to confirm

Went got shaved and ready went to message him to come over and got sorry can’t come over now I have a sore head "

Probably likely!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Looking for quantity over quality?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't do tonight, I have a headache

Had someone tell me that to pull out off a meet

We got talking in the morning I sed I didn’t do drop hat meets

But could do later that night at like 6ish

He sed ok I sed ok I be on here at 5 to confirm

Went got shaved and ready went to message him to come over and got sorry can’t come over now I have a sore head

Probably likely!"

Yes but the wrong head I expect To much pulling away on it instead off waiting and doing what he sed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What a lovely dick pic. I particularly like the use of the dirty toilet.

Keeps the sock on they are so dam sexy!"

So glad you have touched on the sock scenario! Seriously watching some of the videos that people upload only to see that taking the socks off hasn’t entered there minds as the most unflattering thing to see in the situation especially when it’s blatantly obvious that they were 3 pairs for a fiver from sports direct.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What a lovely dick pic. I particularly like the use of the dirty toilet.

Keeps the sock on they are so dam sexy!

Marks and Spencer’s are permissible!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Professional couple seeking straight guys well not that straight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What a lovely dick pic. I particularly like the use of the dirty toilet.

Keeps the sock on they are so dam sexy!

Marks and Spencer’s are permissible!"

You must be looking very closely to recognise if the individual is wearing M&S socks.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What a lovely dick pic. I particularly like the use of the dirty toilet.

Keeps the sock on they are so dam sexy!

Marks and Spencer’s are permissible!

You must be looking very closely to recognise if the individual is wearing M&S socks.

You noticed the 3 pairs for a fiver sports direct ones!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wanna meet in a year.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Going to [event name] don’t say hi as we really can’t be arsed

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By *sleWightCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Ryde

"On your period? OK then, I won't bother asking for either anal or a blowjob, as you are clearly not in the mood".

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Going to [event name] don’t say hi as we really can’t be arsed"

Single chap looking to provide underwear for kinky couples?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive booked the hotel, a limo will be round at 8 to collect you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got a message from Napoleon Rolo and decided not to block him"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really think Napoleon Rolo should go into stand up comedy."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another one...

I can provide hand written references

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

""I got a message from Napoleon Rolo and decided not to block him"

Tried to message the wee man but he blocked single chaps and found himself in the wrong thread.

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

I'm married sorry I can't have sex with you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""I got a message from Napoleon Rolo and decided not to block him"

Tried to message the wee man but he blocked single chaps and found himself in the wrong thread."

Not at all. You started the thread subject, you gotta suffer the consequences

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

""I really think Napoleon Rolo should go into stand up comedy." "

VWEDeep can accommodate!

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

I'm married and can accommodate

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

""I got a message from Napoleon Rolo and decided not to block him"

Tried to message the wee man but he blocked single chaps and found himself in the wrong thread.

Not at all. You started the thread subject, you gotta suffer the consequences

Ffs ok

The wee man will very soon post a message without any grammatical mistakes.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

A group of lesbuams looking for loads of men to show us the error of our preferences, including copious bukkake

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What a lovely dick pic. I particularly like the use of the dirty toilet.

Keeps the sock on they are so dam sexy!

Marks and Spencer’s are permissible!

You must be looking very closely to recognise if the individual is wearing M&S socks.

You noticed the 3 pairs for a fiver sports direct ones!"

Times are hard and with the energy crisis you have to get your money’s worth.

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

I'll pay the hotel and your travel expenses

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'll pay the hotel and your travel expenses

Professional well educated professionals but happy to meet the great unwashed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a single male pretending to be a couple. I have no intention of coming to any meet that we arrange. All I'm after is some juicy info and more pics.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Had me cumming in seconds for which I humbly apologise.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Unicorns not welcome: but bi blokes are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A woman complaining how empty her inbox is

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Her pussy didn’t taste that great and he was far from cool actually a bit paranoid if being honest.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Partner in crime wanted must be experienced in internet fraud

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seeking long term relationship with intention to marriage and enjoy a totally monogamous vanilla sex life"

Rachel

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Knock, knock, I'm at your door now and I'm naked.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What a lovely dick pic. I particularly like the use of the dirty toilet.

Keeps the sock on they are so dam sexy!

Marks and Spencer’s are permissible!

You must be looking very closely to recognise if the individual is wearing M&S socks.

You noticed the 3 pairs for a fiver sports direct ones!

Times are hard and with the energy crisis you have to get your money’s worth. "

But sports direct? A retailer where shoplifters steer clear?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Knock, knock, I'm at your door now and I'm naked."

Actually that’s very likely!

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Knock, knock, I'm at your door now and I'm naked.

Actually that’s very likely!"

Who from?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Knock, knock, I'm at your door now and I'm naked.

Actually that’s very likely!

Who from?"

I can name two fab members who have sent me that DM

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Knock, knock, I'm at your door now and I'm naked.

Actually that’s very likely!

Who from?"

From whom!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What a lovely dick pic. I particularly like the use of the dirty toilet.

Keeps the sock on they are so dam sexy!

Marks and Spencer’s are permissible!

You must be looking very closely to recognise if the individual is wearing M&S socks.

You noticed the 3 pairs for a fiver sports direct ones!

Times are hard and with the energy crisis you have to get your money’s worth.

But sports direct? A retailer where shoplifters steer clear?"

Exactly my point! Even shoplifters have standards!

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Sports direct don't give a shit. Even if their display stands are about to give you a migraine, due to flashing lights that are faulty, they don't care.

I won't too, if they get petrol bombed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What a lovely dick pic. I particularly like the use of the dirty toilet.

Keeps the sock on they are so dam sexy!

Marks and Spencer’s are permissible!

You must be looking very closely to recognise if the individual is wearing M&S socks.

You noticed the 3 pairs for a fiver sports direct ones!

Times are hard and with the energy crisis you have to get your money’s worth.

But sports direct? A retailer where shoplifters steer clear?

Exactly my point! Even shoplifters have standards! "

A chap of my age prefers a retailer that is reassuringly expensive and will take an item back with little fuss even after you have worn it twice. Once to a 60th and the other to a funeral where I spilled trifle down the lapel but managed to disguise it when I took it back

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Message from the Mods: you can mention any forum bans, other website, other swing websites, banned word are ok and everything is now free.

See you after the ban.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Message from the Mods: you can mention any forum bans, other website, other swing websites, banned word are ok and everything is now free.

See you after the ban."

I am a rocker so will be fine!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Message from the Mods: you can mention any forum bans, other website, other swing websites, banned word are ok and everything is now free.

See you after the ban."

Why would I be the subject of such an outrage?

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By *ayHaychMan
over a year ago

Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work)

A message saying “Hi I’m from the university of Sydney and was wondering if you’d consent to…”

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Message from the Mods: you can mention any forum bans, other website, other swing websites, banned word are ok and everything is now free.

See you after the ban.

I am a rocker so will be fine!"

Speaking of Rockers, I've just got back from

Brighton.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"A message saying “Hi I’m from the university of Sydney and was wondering if you’d consent to…”"
testing our latest brew of tetly tea, as Gaffer is now retired.

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

You don't mind if I bring my washing with me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm an unprofessional woman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh fantastic meet with this Fabber! Do NOT pass them by. They're 82% genuine"

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

...sure, I can meet you in 5 minutes, at the lorry park...

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By *weedeldumbCouple (MM)
over a year ago

Leeds & Harrogate

Now then ladies... I may not be hung like a horse... but... I can fookin well sweat like one!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Of course it’s cliquey and populated by the fab elite

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Of course the vast majority of Fab funsters totally get the irony of it all!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could lick you for minutes.

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

Shut the door on the way out beautiful

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Shut the door on the way out beautiful

That did make me giggle........very funny!

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Shut the door on the way out beautiful

That did make me giggle........very funny!"
topical as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Football Results at 5pm on Saturday.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Shut the door on the way out beautiful

That did make me giggle........very funny!topical as well

Very much so

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

On holiday in Walsall looking for fun

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

Put your wellies on its going to be a wet one

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The bed sheets were soaked from the meeting last week?

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

No veris no pics of course I'll meet you shall I wear knickers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey honey. This couples profile should include both of us, not just you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So what if I do still live with mum and dad and have the largest collection of star wars figures in the entire galaxy I can accommodate........

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

No, my mistake when you said single I thought you were single

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Now then ladies... I may not be hung like a horse... but... I can fookin well sweat like one!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Couple seeks Alpha male

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Couple seeks Alpha male"

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Unicorns: not welcome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you like to subscribe to our online edition of the Watchtower? Will be back next week to discuss your thoughts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi, I’m Lola,

You look hot!

I’m 5’5”, petit brunette with blue skin, and loves horse riding, taking a high tea picnic and fucking for hours in the countryside!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Would you like to subscribe to our online edition of the Watchtower? Will be back next week to discuss your thoughts

A big anti JW there?

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By *hiskeyColaMan
over a year ago

Oswestry

"Wish these fecking women would stop inboxing me their tits.

Once you seen a boob, you seen all boobs. "

Hahaha! Yeah, right

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

I'm not actually a single woman or a couple, I'm a lonely single guy who gets a kick out of sending and receiving messages.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm not actually a single woman or a couple, I'm a lonely single guy who gets a kick out of sending and receiving messages."

Raises hand and identifies with the brother the couple mentions?

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

My results came back and I only have the clap, I'm looking to meet tonight if you're free

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“ Dinner is ready “

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By *aiseiMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

“Hi, I’m a single male and rather than taking an interest in your body and the limits of your sexual boundaries, I’d much prefer to engage you on your deepest thoughts around the human condition”

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Just Ugly has had an amazing evening with a wonderful guy and is insanely happy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Every message will get a response

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By *ustauseerTV/TS
over a year ago

Sedgemoor

Let’s go to dinner

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just Ugly has had an amazing evening with a wonderful guy and is insanely happy

Unlikely,

..............not impossible!

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

“Can’t believe there were twice the amount of single women to single men in the club last night……”

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Just Ugly has had an amazing evening with a wonderful guy and is insanely happy

Unlikely,

..............not impossible!"

We can live in hope hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let's take things slow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you kindly for your "Hi" message. I really appreciate the effort that went into composing such a complex and thoughtful introduction. I know it's how people would actually greet each other in real life, but it seems more compelling reading it as a text. Once again, thank you. I'd love to meet up with you and discuss other ways of opening conversations. Is this something you'd be interested in? Mwah.

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By *uke-de-PleasureMan
over a year ago

Leeds

"Yes I love my career as a turkey inseminator but I never bring my work home... unless if asked nicely"

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

I don't need sex ever give me an understanding man

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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago

Milton keynes

Thank you for your recent message. The unsolicitated dick pic followed by a "Hi" really made my day. I love how you captured the majestic contrast of your shaft along the gleam of the toilet seat. Exactly what I'm looking for on fab so thank you for making me smile

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

I'm married the wife knows I'm here and she loves me to fuck whoever I want, when I want and however I want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you for the cock pics! It’s so attractive, please can you slam it inside me?

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

User still on site

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By *arpePinguisWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

"Thank you kindly for your "Hi" message. I really appreciate the effort that went into composing such a complex and thoughtful introduction. I know it's how people would actually greet each other in real life, but it seems more compelling reading it as a text. Once again, thank you. I'd love to meet up with you and discuss other ways of opening conversations. Is this something you'd be interested in? Mwah."

Oh please can I nick this? Fair few messages deserve this cut and paste reply

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"Things you are unlikely to hear on fab:

Her: Let's fuck

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

"Things you are unlikely to hear on fab:

Her: Let's fuck

Him: I've got a headache

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"A couples profile but only pics of the guy, oh she's doing the ironing

You be wrong on that one

I have had a couple profile look at me

They profile pic is them together the rest off the pics are 8 dick pics "
lol awww the Ops gone

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"Things you are unlikely to hear on fab:

Her: Let's fuck

Him: I've got a headache "
lol

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

"A couples profile but only pics of the guy, oh she's doing the ironing

You be wrong on that one

I have had a couple profile look at me

They profile pic is them together the rest off the pics are 8 dick pics lol awww the Ops gone

Premature ejection...

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

Him: ‘Ladies, please be patient, and form an orderly queue’

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"A couples profile but only pics of the guy, oh she's doing the ironing

You be wrong on that one

I have had a couple profile look at me

They profile pic is them together the rest off the pics are 8 dick pics lol awww the Ops gone

Premature ejection..."
he seemed like an OK guy had he been here long?

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Men moaning in the forum that they’re getting to many messages and why is their profile so busy.

Please send vag pic with 1st message, no boobs smaller than 38c it’s not worth my time.

The mr

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

The O.P.has gone! Someone call him up to check he's okay........

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Him: I'm only here for the forums.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Why does my inbox get so much abuse?

Mr Syd University

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Men moaning in the forum that they’re getting to many messages and why is their profile so busy.

Please send vag pic with 1st message, no boobs smaller than 38c it’s not worth my time.

The mr "

Oh please can I nick this? Fair few messages deserve this cut and paste reply

(Ooh the irony, I never even asked her ...)

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By *escourtesMan
over a year ago

hereford

I'm fed up with single ladies filling my inbox with messages!

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

We're launching a new website: Fabgirls, lesbians and bi only.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How many times do I have to say and how many more women do I have to block before they get the message....

NO VAG PICS LADIES! SICK OF IT!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Multimillionaires...!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Son...what are you doing on here"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men with moobs, false teeth and tiny cocks to the front of the queue.

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By *agatoXXXMan
over a year ago

Mordor

"Men with moobs, false teeth and tiny cocks to the front of the queue."

On my way...

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I won't have sexual relations before or outside of marriage. I'm not currently engaged though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anything back from any message's lol

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

Woman says can we meet for sex at 1am I said no it's way past my bedtime

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

It's national celibacy month! Let's keep our collective pants on.

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