Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Back to forum list |
Back to The Lounge |
Jump to newest |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think you’re probably not a terrible person, but you’ve not behaved in a great way. A lot of people talk about a term called ethical non monogamy for this very reason. Is your relationship completely past saving, even before this? " I know it's not ideal but I have felt us growing further and further apart in the last few years. He didn't pay me any attention and sex was a once a month endeavor if I was lucky. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You're female so don't worry, you'll get nothing but sympathy. " Yeah I see that based on the replies so far. The double standards will never go away. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You're female so don't worry, you'll get nothing but sympathy. Yeah I see that based on the replies so far. The double standards will never go away. " Hang on a minute! I took the piss out of your title in the very first response. I deserve credit. Give me credit. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If you want it to end end it! Surely it's not worth hurting him for, I mean your still here so I doubt behaviours are going to change, it's not fair on the bloke." I have tried to end it but he wants to fix it. I have been trying to fix it for years but it fell on deaf ears. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You shagged someone behind his back. I’d say that’s a hefty indicator that something ain’t quite right. Either talk it out, or leave. " Well I didn't shag anyone I was sending vids or is that what's classed as shagging nowadays? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Did you try to end it by letting him catch you making the video ?" No we talked a few weeks back about things because he noticed how my attitude had changed and I told him how I was feeling. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You shagged someone behind his back. I’d say that’s a hefty indicator that something ain’t quite right. Either talk it out, or leave. Well I didn't shag anyone I was sending vids or is that what's classed as shagging nowadays? " Ok, maybe you didn’t. You weren’t specific in you opening post. I was guessing. The advice still stands though. Talk the problem through or leave. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You're female so don't worry, you'll get nothing but sympathy. " BINGO! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You shagged someone behind his back. I’d say that’s a hefty indicator that something ain’t quite right. Either talk it out, or leave. Well I didn't shag anyone I was sending vids or is that what's classed as shagging nowadays? Ok, maybe you didn’t. You weren’t specific in you opening post. I was guessing. " The post said "sending a video to someone I met on here" which is ambiguous ! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You shagged someone behind his back. I’d say that’s a hefty indicator that something ain’t quite right. Either talk it out, or leave. Well I didn't shag anyone I was sending vids or is that what's classed as shagging nowadays? Ok, maybe you didn’t. You weren’t specific in you opening post. I was guessing. The post said "sending a video to someone I met on here" which is ambiguous !" Yep agreed that would sound to me like she’s met him before. Although I guess it could have just been a social and not a sex meet! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So I'm in a relationship of 20 years and over this last few years I have just felt like something is off. So last night my partner caught me recording a video to send to someone I met on here. We cried, we talked and I am currently sleeping on the sofa. Am I a horrible person to want this relationship to end even tho he wants to forgive me?" Why are you still together? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If you want it to end end it! Surely it's not worth hurting him for, I mean your still here so I doubt behaviours are going to change, it's not fair on the bloke. I have tried to end it but he wants to fix it. I have been trying to fix it for years but it fell on deaf ears. " Explain to him that you'll always want other men and he'll have to accept that. See what he says. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You're female so don't worry, you'll get nothing but sympathy. " | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If you want it to end end it! Surely it's not worth hurting him for, I mean your still here so I doubt behaviours are going to change, it's not fair on the bloke. I have tried to end it but he wants to fix it. I have been trying to fix it for years but it fell on deaf ears. " You haven't really tried though if your still together, if you want to leave just leave, or continue to hurt him and be that person. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You're female so don't worry, you'll get nothing but sympathy. Yeah I see that based on the replies so far. The double standards will never go away. Hang on a minute! I took the piss out of your title in the very first response. I deserve credit. Give me credit. " I didn’t notice till you pointed it out- clever!! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"That’s sly. No wonder you’re sleeping st-alone on the sofa." Lol only just got this | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Did you try to end it by letting him catch you making the video ? No we talked a few weeks back about things because he noticed how my attitude had changed and I told him how I was feeling. " ‘A few weeks’ isn’t very long to give a chance for things to change within a 20 year relationship is it. Talk more, tell him what you need to change and if he can’t do that then it needs to end, but doing it this way is incredibly unfair and he deserves more than that | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"That’s sly. No wonder you’re sleeping st-alone on the sofa. Lol only just got this " I have now lol | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So I'm in a relationship of 20 years and over this last few years I have just felt like something is off. So last night my partner caught me recording a video to send to someone I met on here. We cried, we talked and I am currently sleeping on the sofa. Am I a horrible person to want this relationship to end even tho he wants to forgive me?" No! But you should have been honest about Fab and told him your not happy. Never stay in a relationship unless you're happy! Completely happy. Honesty in a relationship is a must though. You need to do what's best for you, no one else! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So I'm in a relationship of 20 years and over this last few years I have just felt like something is off. So last night my partner caught me recording a video to send to someone I met on here. We cried, we talked and I am currently sleeping on the sofa. Am I a horrible person to want this relationship to end even tho he wants to forgive me?" You felt something was off so you joined this site? You're the one that's in the wrong by a long shot. He deserves better than that. You should leave. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Did you try to end it by letting him catch you making the video ? No we talked a few weeks back about things because he noticed how my attitude had changed and I told him how I was feeling. " If he's ignored your feelings that's his fault, not yours. Just stay and keep fucking around. You need good sex to be happy. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So I'm in a relationship of 20 years and over this last few years I have just felt like something is off. So last night my partner caught me recording a video to send to someone I met on here. We cried, we talked and I am currently sleeping on the sofa. Am I a horrible person to want this relationship to end even tho he wants to forgive me?" If you want it to end then it needs to end. You can't stay with someone just to try and make them happy. Plus 'forgiveness' doesn't exactly always work. If it's going to be raised during every argument or disagreement from now on then that's just miserable for both parties | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think you’re probably not a terrible person, but you’ve not behaved in a great way. A lot of people talk about a term called ethical non monogamy for this very reason. Is your relationship completely past saving, even before this? I know it's not ideal but I have felt us growing further and further apart in the last few years. He didn't pay me any attention and sex was a once a month endeavor if I was lucky." It's a rocky relationship because you've cheated. Take some responsibility. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"That’s sly. No wonder you’re sleeping st-alone on the sofa." Boom! Very sly. You’re boxing clever with this | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If you want it to end end it! Surely it's not worth hurting him for, I mean your still here so I doubt behaviours are going to change, it's not fair on the bloke. I have tried to end it but he wants to fix it. I have been trying to fix it for years but it fell on deaf ears. " Reducing this somewhat, but can this be broken down to a) you tried to fix it, but he wasn’t interested although you never split up, and now b) he wants to now accept that fixing even though you did the dirty but now you’re not interested? The whole thing sounds unhealthy, and any Fab angle sounds like a side note, sounds like a contemptuous position frankly, so if you’re really past engaging, at least don’t drag it out | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"That’s sly. No wonder you’re sleeping st-alone on the sofa. Boom! Very sly. You’re boxing clever with this" ran rings round us all.., | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I was in a very similar situation, I wasn't unhappy in my relationship just not getting much attention so I looked somewhere else for it and my husband found out that I had been having video chats with a guy. We talked about it and I told him my reasons why.. we decided to open up our relationship to meeting single guys and we are stronger as a couple now than we have ever been. We enjoy fun with other guys and our own sex life is great. You did say though that you wanted to end your relationship so maybe you have already answered your own questions this doesn't make you a bad person it just means you want to be happier than you are now and there is nothing wrong with that xx" So glad this worked out, hopefully I can be included? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You're female so don't worry, you'll get nothing but sympathy. " Unbelievably true | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I was in a very similar situation, I wasn't unhappy in my relationship just not getting much attention so I looked somewhere else for it and my husband found out that I had been having video chats with a guy. We talked about it and I told him my reasons why.. we decided to open up our relationship to meeting single guys and we are stronger as a couple now than we have ever been. We enjoy fun with other guys and our own sex life is great. You did say though that you wanted to end your relationship so maybe you have already answered your own questions this doesn't make you a bad person it just means you want to be happier than you are now and there is nothing wrong with that xx So glad this worked out, hopefully I can be included? " FFS read the room | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So I'm in a relationship of 20 years and over this last few years I have just felt like something is off. So last night my partner caught me recording a video to send to someone I met on here. We cried, we talked and I am currently sleeping on the sofa. Am I a horrible person to want this relationship to end even tho he wants to forgive me?" No your horrible for sending naughty videos to people on here while in a relationship | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"….. even tho he wants to forgive me?" Hahaha. Yeh, sure he will !?!? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You shagged someone behind his back. I’d say that’s a hefty indicator that something ain’t quite right. Either talk it out, or leave. Well I didn't shag anyone I was sending vids or is that what's classed as shagging nowadays? Ok, maybe you didn’t. You weren’t specific in you opening post. I was guessing. The post said "sending a video to someone I met on here" which is ambiguous ! Yep agreed that would sound to me like she’s met him before. Although I guess it could have just been a social and not a sex meet!" The intention is there though !!!! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I was in a very similar situation, I wasn't unhappy in my relationship just not getting much attention so I looked somewhere else for it and my husband found out that I had been having video chats with a guy. We talked about it and I told him my reasons why.. we decided to open up our relationship to meeting single guys and we are stronger as a couple now than we have ever been. We enjoy fun with other guys and our own sex life is great. You did say though that you wanted to end your relationship so maybe you have already answered your own questions this doesn't make you a bad person it just means you want to be happier than you are now and there is nothing wrong with that xx So glad this worked out, hopefully I can be included? FFS read the room" Just to this comment, not the entire thread. Although I have put my two pence in regarding that. Tried to stay neutral. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So I'm in a relationship of 20 years and over this last few years I have just felt like something is off. So last night my partner caught me recording a video to send to someone I met on here. We cried, we talked and I am currently sleeping on the sofa. Am I a horrible person to want this relationship to end even tho he wants to forgive me?" Wouldnt say horrible more untrusting. A cheat is a cheat weather its sending vids,pics without other half knowing about it. As iv said many times on here to guys cheating,how would u feel if was other way about | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Did you try to end it by letting him catch you making the video ? No we talked a few weeks back about things because he noticed how my attitude had changed and I told him how I was feeling. " Did you talk before or after you created your Fab profile? If you actually want to put the effort in then get fab gone and work on your relationship instead of putting effort into people who will just view as a means to help them cum He deserves better | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So I'm in a relationship of 20 years and over this last few years I have just felt like something is off. So last night my partner caught me recording a video to send to someone I met on here. We cried, we talked and I am currently sleeping on the sofa. Am I a horrible person to want this relationship to end even tho he wants to forgive me? Wouldnt say horrible more untrusting. A cheat is a cheat weather its sending vids,pics without other half knowing about it. As iv said many times on here to guys cheating,how would u feel if was other way about" | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You're female so don't worry, you'll get nothing but sympathy. Yeah I see that based on the replies so far. The double standards will never go away. " Nope. You'll get the same response from me I'd give to a guy. It's your life and your situation that even if you really, really tried you'd never be able to sufficiently explain on an Internet forum. Life isn't black and white, nor simple and that includes relationships. The cats out of the bag now so it should make a decision and resolution easier as you can't carry on as before behind their back. Only the two people involved can decide what happens moving on. Everyone else's opinion is just noise. A | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"That’s sly. No wonder you’re sleeping st-alone on the sofa." 10/10 | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I’d say this. You’re on a sex site getting lots of attention from men. Who just want sex. Don’t go getting carried away and throwing away something good because suddenly you’re getting attention from other men, who just want a shag. 20 years is a long time. He deserves better. You need to sort your head out and figure out what it is you want. You want to leave? Then leave. It’s not fair on either of you at the age of 37 to be in a relationship that is probably making you both unhappy. If there are children involved then all the more reason to sort things out properly. If you want to work things out then try. But being on here won’t help that. " This is great advice. Listen to every word of this OP. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think you’re probably not a terrible person, but you’ve not behaved in a great way. A lot of people talk about a term called ethical non monogamy for this very reason. Is your relationship completely past saving, even before this? I know it's not ideal but I have felt us growing further and further apart in the last few years. He didn't pay me any attention and sex was a once a month endeavor if I was lucky." Once a month?? Damn woman I would go for that. I am married, but havent had sex in over 3 years lol | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You're female so don't worry, you'll get nothing but sympathy. " | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You're female so don't worry, you'll get nothing but sympathy. Yeah I see that based on the replies so far. The double standards will never go away. Hang on a minute! I took the piss out of your title in the very first response. I deserve credit. Give me credit. " I noticed ! but I only gave it 5/10 and I don't know which one you are. I might have given 4/10 if it was the other one. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So I'm in a relationship of 20 years and over this last few years I have just felt like something is off. So last night my partner caught me recording a video to send to someone I met on here. We cried, we talked and I am currently sleeping on the sofa. Am I a horrible person to want this relationship to end even tho he wants to forgive me?" Do you have children together ? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Post new Message to Thread |
back to top |