FabSwingers.com forum: Phrases men hate hearing from women

By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

We have to talk .

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By *ociable-NottmCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Can we go clothes shopping, us tomorrow

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"Can we go clothes shopping, us tomorrow

Mr "
throw a sickie in the morning with the MRS . XX

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By *ames5169Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

“You don’t understand me “

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

You didnt the catch that off a toilet seat!!!

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

My mother is staying with us for a while.

The mr

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By *urreyloverMan
over a year ago

Guildford

The Mother-in-law is coming to stay.

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By *ames5169Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

“Where have you been “

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By *handlerMonicaCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

Is it in yet?

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By *uiet_69Man
over a year ago

Near

It’s the perfect size

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"I'm going to be honest with you...".

Which basically means she's been bullshitting me all the other times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does my bum look big in this?

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

You're so entitled

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By *ull English with teaMan
over a year ago

London

Looking for BBC only…

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By *hiskeyColaMan
over a year ago

Oswestry

"Does my bum look big in this?"

Hahaha! This!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it in yet

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By *hiskeyColaMan
over a year ago

Oswestry

"Looking for BBC only…"

Yeah, been gutted by this phrase once or twice while browsing...

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By *ornLordMan
over a year ago

Wiltshire and London

"Looking for BBC only…"

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By *illxxMan
over a year ago

motherwell

MR what’s wrong with you. Mrs nothing???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need to have the sex talk hes old enough now to know the birds and bees

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

What time do you call this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think that's gonna fit

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By *lym4realCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

Only going to get afew "Bits" ....or I was thinking ....

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By *ranimallxl5Man
over a year ago

Winchester

I'm not your mum

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

No.

To be fair, I've known women who hate that too.

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By *ak777Man
over a year ago

shaw

your mates are all bigger than you.

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By *entBarryUKMan
over a year ago

Ashford

I always get

"..you know you love me....."

Followed by a request for something that I really don't want to do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Looking for BBC only…

Yeah, been gutted by this phrase once or twice while browsing...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

You mean they're actually listening!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best cock ever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wrong hole

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By *ostAirmenMan
over a year ago

crewe

Yes just be friends .

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Youve ruined me for other men!!! You sex god!!! Gets pretty old when you hear it day in day out!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“I just want a nice guy”

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I'm on the blob

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You’re too young for me

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By *otBrunetteHimCouple
over a year ago

birmingham

“I’m fine”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do what you want

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

"“I’m fine”

Uh oh - who died??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not you it’s me

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

"Do what you want

Don’t!!!!!!

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By *attoo manMan
over a year ago

Rhyl

Are you in yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So… I was thinking….

This usually means it’s going to cost me a fortune and take up a lot of my time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do what you want

Don’t!!!!!!

100%

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m ignoring you

…

Don’t ignore me ignoring you

Tim Turner cracked the Code

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When they moan about childbirth

fuck me you would think id never had a 10lb shit before

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When they moan about childbirth

fuck me you would think id never had a 10lb shit before

I guarantee the day after a vindaloo is worse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When they moan about childbirth

fuck me you would think id never had a 10lb shit before

I guarantee the day after a vindaloo is worse

i would hope so shitting out me and mi mum and mi dad and mi gran and a bucket of vindaloo

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"When they moan about childbirth

fuck me you would think id never had a 10lb shit before

I guarantee the day after a vindaloo is worse

An hour after oats is worse, not as abd apicolax/movistar, but still a bad day for white undies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A woman 3 years younger calling me 'daddy' during sex couldn't not have turned me off more.

Also, "can you get this and ill pay you back"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you like, it’s entirely up to you.

[the word entirely heavily emphasised]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When they moan about childbirth

fuck me you would think id never had a 10lb shit before

I guarantee the day after a vindaloo is worse

An hour after oats is worse, not as abd apicolax/movistar, but still a bad day for white undies."

Oats and a strong coffee. That’s a deadly combination.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kissing is extra

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

"A woman 3 years younger calling me 'daddy' during sex couldn't not have turned me off more.

Also, "can you get this and ill pay you back" "

A girl i saw when i was about 21 called me daddy in a baby voice and ended up sucking wet spaghetti!!!

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"When they moan about childbirth

fuck me you would think id never had a 10lb shit before

I guarantee the day after a vindaloo is worse

An hour after oats is worse, not as abd apicolax/movistar, but still a bad day for white undies.

Oats and a strong coffee. That’s a deadly combination."

I can v-ouch for that.

and yet the taste of chocolate hobnobs and coffee is really nice.

Someone need to re-educate the evangelistic veganistas, that their diet is laced with foods that are dangerous for others. We non vegans should stand our ground and resist.

Can you imagine the future where the only milk available is either oat or almond? How many people would that alienate?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and the test came back possitive ......

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Shh! Eastenders *is on!

* other brain dead telly programmes are available.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When they moan about childbirth

fuck me you would think id never had a 10lb shit before

I guarantee the day after a vindaloo is worse

An hour after oats is worse, not as abd apicolax/movistar, but still a bad day for white undies.

Oats and a strong coffee. That’s a deadly combination.

I can v-ouch for that.

and yet the taste of chocolate hobnobs and coffee is really nice.

Someone need to re-educate the evangelistic veganistas, that their diet is laced with foods that are dangerous for others. We non vegans should stand our ground and resist.

Can you imagine the future where the only milk available is either oat or almond? How many people would that alienate?

The gasses alone will destroy the earth

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"When they moan about childbirth

fuck me you would think id never had a 10lb shit before

I guarantee the day after a vindaloo is worse

An hour after oats is worse, not as abd apicolax/movistar, but still a bad day for white undies.

Oats and a strong coffee. That’s a deadly combination.

I can v-ouch for that.

and yet the taste of chocolate hobnobs and coffee is really nice.

Someone need to re-educate the evangelistic veganistas, that their diet is laced with foods that are dangerous for others. We non vegans should stand our ground and resist.

Can you imagine the future where the only milk available is either oat or almond? How many people would that alienate?

The gasses alone will destroy the earth

and the toilet bowel too!

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Giz-a-chip, when they specifically refused their own portion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me: what do you want for tea?

Her: You decide

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't want to go to a stranger's house to fuck. Let's just go for drinks."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

‘Bet you don’t struggle?’

Actually I’m a single guy plus I’m ugly so yes I do. Very much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

‘Why are you interested in someone my age’

Congratulations, I’m not anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And finally:

‘You’re cute’

Thanks Grandma for clarifying that there’s zero sexual attraction to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a phrase but don’t you have it when your inbox is just full of women begging for your seed

The worst

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You’re too young for me"

Oops

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By *lutandhubbyCouple
over a year ago

west midlands

what ever.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

You're not my type or you're too old (frequently)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got something you can snack/suck on

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Looking for BBC only…

Yeah, been gutted by this phrase once or twice while browsing...

Just move on Dude. That's what I do when I see, athletic, slim, short women only.

I don't have the physiology to be athletic. I hate the gym. I plus-sized and solid chunky and if I put on 4 inch heels I'm 5 foot 10.

I don't mind short bald chunky small dick men. I care more about how they treat me as a person. I'm confident enough to walk down a street with a short dude. If we both hate the gym great...we can bond over our love of non-gym things. lol! Bald won't get offending if I have my head. As for the dick....certain aspects of cervix pounding hurts with half the penis outside is unappealing.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"You need to have the sex talk hes old enough now to know the birds and bees "

Lol! Oh no...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I always get

"..you know you love me....."

Followed by a request for something that I really don't want to do"

If that isn't gaslighting I don't know what is.....be weary of people who make a lot of "you" statements instead of "I" statements.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"You're not my type or you're too old (frequently)

What age are you going for mate? Yeah at 41 you are not too old for me BTW....you just live to dang far.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"You’re too young for me"

Sorry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your sleeping in the wet spot

Coronation St, Eastenders, Emmerdale , Celebrity nob Island is on soon

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"“I’m fine”

Run and make yourself scarce when you hear FINE....unless you are a trained professional. Lol!

In mental health we say F.I.N.E. stands for F'ed up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional..... Lol! when people say that in a clinical setting, I'm like oh shit it's going to be a long one.

Personally I like O.K.

Over it and Keeled over.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

""I'm going to be honest with you...".

Which basically means she's been bullshitting me all the other times."

I'm a terrible bullshitter.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"It’s not you it’s me"

It's always me so I just get used to it now. I am a weirdo.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"So… I was thinking….

This usually means it’s going to cost me a fortune and take up a lot of my time."

Lol! is that the Mr or the Mrs....

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"A woman 3 years younger calling me 'daddy' during sex couldn't not have turned me off more.

Also, "can you get this and ill pay you back"

A girl i saw when i was about 21 called me daddy in a baby voice and ended up sucking wet spaghetti!!! "

Oh dear.... I do like noodles though...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"MR what’s wrong with you. Mrs nothing???"

That’s code for….you’ve severely pissed me off

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"and the test came back possitive ......"

which test is worse?

Covid?

GUM clinic?

Pregnacny?

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By *ove2pleaseseukMan
over a year ago

Hastings

"Does my bum look big in this?"

just tell her if she thinks it dose she knows.

But I tend to stick "No you just have a nice big Bum"

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"If you like, it’s entirely up to you.

[the word entirely heavily emphasised]"

Run...

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Shh! Eastenders *is on!

* other brain dead telly programmes are available."

*sneaks off to watch House of the Dragon in the other room under my weighted blanket to muffle my exclamations*

Had to do this will Poldark and the ex...one of the many reasons he is the ex......And I watched Top gear happily with him!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“I’m fine”

That's the one right there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please don’t worry about it darling. It happens to all men your age. We can just cuddle instead ……

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

Someone need to re-educate the evangelistic veganistas, that their diet is laced with foods that are dangerous for others. We non vegans should stand our ground and resist.

Can you imagine the future where the only milk available is either oat or almond? How many people would that alienate?

The gasses alone will destroy the earth

Lol! I'm horrified that most of the vegan/vegeterian food is not only highly processed in a non-environmentally-friendly factory but also manufactured with non-fair trade, rainforest-destroying products like palm oil and cashew nuts. Let's not forget that jackfruit doesn't grow in the UK so it racks up 1000s of air miles getting to the factory for our vegan curry.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Giz-a-chip, when they specifically refused their own portion."

Lol! I don't do that. I think it's slightly rude and I feel al the neurodivergent discomfort doing that to other people or people doing it to me.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Me: what do you want for tea?

Her: You decide "

Lol!

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

""I don't want to go to a stranger's house to fuck. Let's just go for drinks." "

Lol! I wish I could go for drinks and a strangers house but the neurodivergent brain says Ewww....and shoots me with discomfort and awkwardness raygun!!

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

"Me: what do you want for tea?

Her: You decide

Lol!"

Ok Blowjob and Terminator Marathon… ohhhh now youve thought of something’ !!!!

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Not a phrase but don’t you have it when your inbox is just full of women begging for your seed

The worst "

Are you running an IVF clinic?

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"‘Bet you don’t struggle?’

Actually I’m a single guy plus I’m ugly so yes I do. Very much. "

Everyone struggles....we just have to pick one....lol!

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"‘Why are you interested in someone my age’

Congratulations, I’m not anymore.

there there young fellow. *pats back*

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"And finally:

‘You’re cute’

Thanks Grandma for clarifying that there’s zero sexual attraction to me.

Check filters....age 36 to 56.....I'm safe.

If I had kids I probably could be a grandma by now if I had my kid at 16 and they had their kids at 16. At 16 I was melting down over GCSEs so no chance.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"You’re too young for me

Oops

Lol!

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I got something you can snack/suck on"

I'm not sure I would refuse snacks...I like snacks....

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Your sleeping in the wet spot

Coronation St, Eastenders, Emmerdale , Celebrity nob Island is on soon

I mean if it's my own wet spot.....

Ooh I quite looking at knobs...Do all the celebrities get their knobs out?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really don’t mind honey……

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By *rofessor ElementalMan
over a year ago

Durham

What are you thinking right now?

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By *escourtesMan
over a year ago

hereford

Have you put the bins out?

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By *tylebender03Man
over a year ago

Manchester

I’m too tired

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. Stop it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your brother was better.

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By *atriciayoiditTV/TS
over a year ago

hatfield

someone has to do it.?....when you are watching something on tv...the match...and the hoover comes out...??

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By *ociable-NottmCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Can we go clothes shopping, us tomorrow

Mr throw a sickie in the morning with the MRS . XX"

Nice suggestion op I’m not man enough, dodging a shopping trip will have serious repercussions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Looking for BBC only…"

What's wrong with that

Just joking

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

Standing next to her (sweating & fidgeting), looking into the jewellers shop window (she), pointing at the ring & saying:

"What do you think to that one on the left

then?

Man:"¡Ay, caramba!" Followed by a thud noise as he faints....

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By *rlandoMan
over a year ago

Yorks/Lincs

" YOUR THE FATHER " ..........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Her: you’ve already picture us having sex haven’t you filthy fucker

Me: my thoughts buy a oodie, 2K, FIFA or treat myself to all three

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Sorry to have to let you down, but….

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By *actilenorfolkgentMan
over a year ago

Norwich

Is it in yet!

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By *ilfCrumpet9Man
over a year ago

Wirral

When she starts a sentence with 'so' or 'I want to tell or ask you something' WTF

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By *tranger swings 69Couple
over a year ago

cheshire

“ everything I’ve ever done wrong is a mans fault, somehow “

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By *ig_eric_tionMan
over a year ago

IPSWICH

Told you so.

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By *entBarryUKMan
over a year ago

Ashford

""I don't want to go to a stranger's house to fuck. Let's just go for drinks." "

To be fair this would be fun too

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"Told you so."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The grass is a bit long

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh that's small

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By *ortyairCouple
over a year ago

Wallasey

Was that it? Xxx

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Let's go to IKEA

FINE

Put the bins out

You're too old

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By *opman121Man
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Pick your boxer’s up , u left the seat up in the bathroom ,

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By *humper.Man
over a year ago

northumberland/scotland

No, I won't get in your van.

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By *aturegentdurhamMan
over a year ago

Stanley

It's Fine.

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By *KG12Couple
over a year ago

Burnley

It's not what you said, it's how you said it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He'll be round by 8pm, no you can't watch

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By *uck-Me-Hard-Scotland-M2MMan
over a year ago

Barnhill (Outside Dundee)

I *DID* tell you...I'm sure I did

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By *appytochatMan
over a year ago

Deep in the New Forest

I've got a list of things you can do on your day off

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I think you’re cute/funny…. But……

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By *appytochatMan
over a year ago

Deep in the New Forest

Which outfit do you prefer...

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"“I’m fine”

Run and make yourself scarce when you hear FINE....unless you are a trained professional. Lol!

In mental health we say F.I.N.E. stands for F'ed up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional..... Lol! when people say that in a clinical setting, I'm like oh shit it's going to be a long one.

Personally I like O.K.

Over it and Keeled over.

T-shirt time!

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

The condom's slipped off.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

No really it's OK. Go and enjoy your golf.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Looking for BBC only…"

Maybe 1tv is their favoured

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By *utlongjohnMan
over a year ago

Before you sit down...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you think?

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By *ackdaw52Man
over a year ago

Chesterfield

"I don't mind, you choose."

Translation; read my mind and pick the correct option or I'll get grumpy.

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

Go do the hoovering!!

Does my bum look big in this!!!

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By *omond guyMan
over a year ago

alexandria

Thanks but no thanks

Or your not my type

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Oh, go on, if you want to make me...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it in?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Her: I’m darker than you

Me:

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

White chick with fake tan: I’m darker than you

Me: Top shanter

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By *ombikerbullMan
over a year ago

Bromsgrove

Shit my husband home early..

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By *ndiiiMan
over a year ago

Paisley Scotland

Ive just had an idea!!!!!

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

Time for bed

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By *oastal1968Man
over a year ago

London

"Who's hot Sophie?"

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By *onesome swingerMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I hate the term dear, it automatically makes me think of catfish and scammers. Just saying.

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By *icknmix500Man
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

No that's too dirty

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By *ombikerbullMan
over a year ago

Bromsgrove

I don't care if its your birthday it's not going in there!

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"I don't care if its your birthday it's not going in there! "
the bathroom...... Why had you done a number 2?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Must be vwe

Must be gym fit

Must be 6ft plus

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By *ombikerbullMan
over a year ago

Bromsgrove

I don't like bikes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh.. Is that it

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Must be vwe

Must be gym fit

Must be 6ft plus

"
awwww

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By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"Looking for BBC only…"

Can only manage LWC, sorry

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By *unkym34Man
over a year ago

London

I don’t mix business and pleasure

- but we don’t work together

Oh sorry who are you then and it’s still no ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not tonight I have a headache .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not tonight I have a headache .

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Oh.. Is that it

"
they don't call me Justin for nothing ya know

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

It's up to you

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"You never really cared about me anyway."

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Hi, I'm Tina Titz

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By *umseekerMan
over a year ago

montrose

I’m not hungry I’ll just have some of yours

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By *irginLad32Man
over a year ago

Catford

I'm skint can I borrow a tenner, I spent my child benefit on a manicure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it in yet

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice

Does my bum look big in this… which ever answer you reply you can’t win

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

.. "where do I stand? "

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By *rPeachyMan
over a year ago

Bristol

The F word.

Yes, I mean the one that rhymes with clammy

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By *ieran2301Man
over a year ago

london/coventry

Yours is fine The big ones hurt too much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lets get married

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're a really nice man and i do like you..it's not you its me,I'm just going through some things right now....

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

Surprise me!

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