FabSwingers.com forum: Rude alternative to nursery rhymes

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Anyone up for the challenge?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mary had a little lamb, - dirty little pervert!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Round and round the party like a slutty tart.

One cock, two cock, sliding in right there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep

While she wanked off in the grass

Left them alone, then she went home

And fucked herself in the arse.

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

Old mother Hubbard

She went to the cupboard

To get the postman a letter

But when she got there

The cupboard was bare

So they did it without it was better.

Winston

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mary had a little lamb,

She kept it in a Bucket.

Every time the lamb got out,

The dog came over to...

Put it back in

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By *ob Carpe DiemMan
over a year ago

Torquay

Ba Ba black sheep have you any wool?

No fuck off

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

Little Miss Muffet

Sat on a tuffet

Her knickers all tattered and torn.

It wasn't the spider

Who sat down beside her,

It was Little Boy Blue with the horn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Old Mother Hubbard went to her cupboard

To fetch her doggy a bone

But as she bent over, along came Rover

And gave her a bone of his own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

humpty dumpty sat on a wall

humpty dumpty had a great fall

all the kings whores and all the kings men

ignored it and carried on shagging

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By *emma HoldenTV/TS
over a year ago

Ramsey

Oh the grand old Duke of York

He had 10,000 men....

And his case comes to court next Tuesday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jack and Jill went up a hill

To do a bit of dogging

Jack bent down with hands on the ground

As Jill put on the strap on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope this isn't too offensive, and I apologise in advance.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy,

But Jack got a shock,

And a mouthful of cock,

Because Jill's real name was Randy

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By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham

Where can we go with

'Ride a cock horse'

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By *wingin CatMan
over a year ago

London

The Grand old Duke of York,

He had ten thousand men,

He was sent to prison for indency and multiple charges of buggery, and died of AIDS whilst serving his sentence.

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...

Jack and Jill went up the hill

To have a little fun

But poor old Jill forgot her pill

And now they have a son

Winston

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I hope this isn't too offensive, and I apologise in advance.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy,

But Jack got a shock,

And a mouthful of cock,

Because Jill's real name was Randy"

Brilliant

This is so funny

Favourite so far

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mary had a little lamb

She tied it to a pylon

10,000 volts went up its arse

And turned its wool to nylon

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By *rad670Man
over a year ago

South Lakes

[Removed by poster at 12/10/22 13:08:06]

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By *rad670Man
over a year ago

South Lakes

Georgie Porgie pudding and pie, kissed the girls and made them cry, when the boys came out to play, he kissed them too cause he swings that way.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Jack and Jill went up the hill

to fetch a pail of water

I don't know what they did up there

But now she's got a daughter

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By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Little Miss Muffit, sat on her tuffet.

Drinking her curds from a glass.

Then along came a boy, instead of a spider.

And licked her from pussy to arse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mary Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?

"It doesn't I wax monthly, now fuck off perv"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The village bike on fab goes round and round and round

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By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Jack & Jill ran up the hill.

They had a little race.

She pull his cock from out his pants.

And he jizzed all over her face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jack and Jill went up the hill

to fetch a pail of water

I don't know what they did up there

But now she's got a daughter"

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Up and down the street and houses

Bungle's getting high

Geoffrey cum's in Jane's face

When the others give her cream pie

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By *ack688Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

Hickory dickory dock

Please come suck my cock

Make me come

Down your chin it will run

Hickory dickory dock

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Nervous-shagger, Nervous-shagger...

Where are you, where are you?

C'mon try this strap-on, C'mon try this strap-on

Big, black, dong.

All night long.

(Reservoir Dogs: the musical)

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Little Miss Muffet

Sat on a tuffet

Her knickers all tattered and torn.

It wasn't the spider

Who sat down beside her,

It was Little Boy Blue with the horn.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Three blind mice

I'm not fussy I'll fuck anything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mary had a little lamb, - dirty little pervert!"

Errrrgh

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Run rabbit run rabbit run run run

Don't run out of batteries before I cum cum cum

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By *rofessor MMan
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

Oh the grand old Duke of York

He had 10,000 men....

He marched them up to the top of the hill

And he had them all again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Willy on the bus goes a round around

2 rounds around , 3 rounds around …

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My Willy on the bus goes a round around

2 rounds around , 3 rounds around … "

Allll night long

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mary had a mini skirt

With splits right up the sides

And every time that Mary walked

The boys could see her thighs

Mary had another skirt

With a split right up the Front

But Mary never wore that much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me a lovely blow job very slowly…

A Deep fuck throat ,

1 finger in her bum , then I stick both ,

a 69 , a a horny ride , pussy and bum From behind ,

grabbed hard her tits , gave her many licks

and she nearly manage to brake my hard .

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me a lovely blow job very slowly…

A Deep fuck throat ,

1 finger in her bum , then I stick both ,

a 69 , a a horny ride , pussy and bum From behind ,

grabbed hard her tits , gave her many licks

and she nearly manage to brake my hard . "

What did she do on the second day?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me a lovely blow job very slowly…

A Deep fuck throat ,

1 finger in her bum , then I stick both ,

a 69 , a a horny ride , pussy and bum From behind ,

grabbed hard her tits , gave her many licks

and she nearly manage to brake my hard .

What did she do on the second day?

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me a FFM with a girl name Julie .

She was a whore , I would tell u more

is endless I better stop here .

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By *trideMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

Mary had a little watch.

She swallowed it on day.

She took lots of Beecham’s pills to pass the time away.

The Beecham’s pills, they did not work.

The watch it did not pass.

So if you want to know the time

Look up at the clock tower.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On the 3rd day of Christmas my true love gave to me a FFFM one more who joined us n Julie .

1 thick hard , 2 horny balls , 3 little mouths , we are 4 hoes , 5 little finger , in all their 6 hands ,

7 am again , this never ends . I 8 to say , 9 times I came . Maybe was 10 .

The times I cum on each of the three there with me .

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Mary had a little bean

She wanted me to lick it

I got called away suddenly

So she had to stay and flick it

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

Hickory dickory dock...

...her pics made blood rush to his cock!

His cock got hard; he grabbed the lube...

...and wanked off into his sock!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mary had a little lamb

She thought it rather silly

She threw it up in the air

And caught it by its willy

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Little Jack horner sat in the corner

Eating a juicy whore

He stuck his thumb right up her bum and she squirted all over the floor

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Hey diddle diddle

Let's have a fiddle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jack & Jill ran up the hill.

Walking handed hand .

“Is tuff my Jack , I understand

But you have to bend again .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This little piggy went to market

This little piggy stayed at home

And this little piggy went alllll the way ….. up her bum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One, two, three, four, five

Once I fucked a cock alive.

Six, seven, eight, nine, ten

Then I fucked it twice again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jack & Jill ran up the hill.

“What present do u want ,

under Christmas the tree ?”

“ Been 40 years Jill.

I’m sore and tired.

I just want to be free.”

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By *avid4olderMan
over a year ago

North Coast

Mary had a little lamb

She also had a bear

I often saw her little lamb

But I never saw her bare

———

Mary had a little lamb

She also had a duck

She set them on the mantlepiece

To see if they would “fall off”

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By *exysoul888TV/TS
over a year ago

Newcastle

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick

Jack jumped over the candle stick

Dear oh dear he should have jumped higher

Oh good gracious, great balls of fire

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By *exysoul888TV/TS
over a year ago

Newcastle

Apologies in advance for this one

Scroll down if you are likely to be grossed out!

Sing a song of siphilis,

A fanny full of crabs,

4 and 20 ulcers,

Covered in scabs,

When the scabs were opened,

The cunt began to sing,

Isn't this a dirty place to put your penis in?

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

[Removed by poster at 12/10/22 23:51:08]

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

[Removed by poster at 12/10/22 23:52:03]

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Apologies in advance for this one

Scroll down if you are likely to be grossed out!

Sing a song of siphilis,

A fanny full of crabs,

4 and 20 ulcers,

Covered in scabs,

When the scabs were opened,

The cunt began to sing,

Isn't this a dirty place to put your penis in?"

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By *emma HoldenTV/TS
over a year ago

Ramsey

Mary had a little lamb

Full of fun & frolics

She used to throw it in the air

And catch it by it's.....ears

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By *emma HoldenTV/TS
over a year ago

Ramsey

Holy Moses I am dying

Just one thing before I go

Put the cat upon the table

And stick your finger up it's

Holy Moses I am dying......

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By *weedeldumbCouple (MM)
over a year ago

Leeds & Harrogate

The Grand Old Duke of York

He had ten thousand men

He also has some little girls

But "One can't remember them!"

He told the BBC that

"One no longer sweats"

But his late mum gave 12 million quid

To a girl he'd never met.

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By *entonMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Mary had a little lamb,

its fleece was black as charcoal;

Every time she stroked it's fleece,

Sparks flew out its arsehole.

Mary had a little pig,

She kept it fat and plastered;

And when the price of pork went up,

She shot the little bastard.

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By *iman2100Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Mary had little lamb, she also had a bear.

I have often seen her little lamb, but never seen her bare.

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

Mary had a little skirt it slit right up the side when the boys came out to play they could see her thighs

Jane had a little skirt was slit right up the front she got sent home

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

Jack was nimble

Jack was quick

But Jill preferred

The candle stick

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Jeremy Clarkson had a farm

“No! No! Please don’t! No!!!”

And on his farm he had some plans

This will not end well

With a “Fuck! Fuck!” here

And a “Fuck! Fuck!” there

Here a “Fuck!”, there a “Fuck!”

Everywhere a “Fuck-a-duck!”

Jeremy Clarkson had a farm

On his Amazon show

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Jack was nimble

Jack was quick

But Jill preferred

The candle stick"
]]

That gets the thumbs up from me.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

The boy stood on the burning deck

Gawping at his phone.

The captain kept yelling at him

" Abandon ship: if you wanna to make it home"

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By *wales_hotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Jack be nimble

Jack be quick

Jack jump over the candle stick

Silly boy, should have jumped higher

Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire!

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