FabSwingers.com forum: How to handle a special needs adult who has latched on??

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We have a customer with learning difficulties who regularly comes into our Large Department Store. He's gentle,kind & delighted when I take the time chat to him remembering the previous convo. He's prob 40ish but nearer to late teens in his ways.

The advice I'm hoping for is how to deal going forward?. He talks for ages, when I say I must get on with my work he carries on+on.

Last Thurs he explained his mother drinks & scares him but his bro-in-law is a GP & makes sure he's okay.

I thought he was reaching out to shake my hand, instead he wrapped his arms around my waist & rested his head sideways on my shoulder like a child snuggling. I personally didn't mind but my boss saw & gave a look.

Pretty sure I heard him say something about returning to update me as he felt he could count on me for support.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, he sounds like he trusts you and you sound like a lovely person for taking time to listen. Your boss on the other hand....

Is it really bothering you or is it that you're worried what your boss thinks?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I was in a similar position about twenty years ago. I set clear boundaries that they could understand and explained why I was doing it. They understood and respected them

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thankyou so much for your kind reply

I'm perfectly fine with it. I'm an empathetic person so it's my default nature to be understanding.

It's not really my boss but the Company. It's a well known international retailer with extremely high standards of quality & service. So chatting with customers is a good thing EXCEPT when it goes on an excessively longer time than usual or necessary.

I have a feeling that they will suggest I am a bit more firm with him so I can continue helping other customers and my colleagues who could be struggling during if can't assist.

Im really not wanting to upset him though, he's genuinely a sensitive character

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

Boundaries as long as sensitively explained should be okay.

My daughter sounds similar to this gentleman. She latches on to people at times. She has to be told sometimes about personal space.. she deals with it okay

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That's really helpful

Much appreciated

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By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton

I used to work with special needs kids it’s hard not to get involved sounds like your boss is a git but you must tell him you can’t chat long as your boss is looking or just keep moving around the store and chat in different places

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

There are a couple of charities that will be able to give you some advice on what to do. Very clear boundaries are important as safeguarding is priority. Personally I'd never let any one with learning difficulties hug me, because of the potential reactions they can have, by making inappropriate relationships with people who show them kindness

Good luck OP

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

He's a customer at work, so maintaining some distance next time he comes in is probably best

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

OP - have you considered asking your boss for advice on what to do? As you say it is company policy to help customers and I can’t imagine this is for the first time a customer has latched on to a member of staff. As it is a large company then I would have thought there must be guidance on how to handle it in the appropriate manner.

At the very least by talking to your boss you are putting the company on notice that you are in an unusual situation with a customer and that puts some of the pressure back on them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your boss might actually understand and help if you explain the situation.

It's a situation ive delt with several times in a previous role.

A well times request from your boss to go do another duty when the customer comes in. Or even a word with him sensitively to say that "he can't be keeping my staffcm chatting all day" would give you a way out each time without hurting the guys feelings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whatever the answer is, you sound like a really nice person. Knowing a few people with special needs, this kinda stuff can really make their day

I worked with a guy with some special needs years ago. We still text daily, and he’ll ring me 2-3 times a week when I’m at work. I’ll just put my headphones in whike I work and he tells me about his week, asks me silly questions, asks for advice if he has a problem, whatever, we just chat, sometimes for an hour. And I can tell he really enjoys it

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"OP - have you considered asking your boss for advice on what to do? As you say it is company policy to help customers and I can’t imagine this is for the first time a customer has latched on to a member of staff. As it is a large company then I would have thought there must be guidance on how to handle it in the appropriate manner.

At the very least by talking to your boss you are putting the company on notice that you are in an unusual situation with a customer and that puts some of the pressure back on them."

This. And record it in writing. It might help the company recognise a gap in their staff training as an example?there might be safeguarding elements if he's a vulnerable person.

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden

OP, can you tell him that your just going to deal some other customers and you will be back in a few minutes?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm overwhelmed with all these responses. So grateful for such sensible advice.

The boss that saw the last interaction (that I mentioned) is back in tomorrow so I have just messaged to say that I'd like to grab some time to discuss.

Couldn't agree more.

Feel much more relaxed about it now.

THANKYOOOOO Fab Fam

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