FabSwingers.com forum: Can you do it tactfully?

By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

Do you say things tactfully or at least try to?

Are you regularly told you need a filter or lack tact?

Is there a point you think, do you know what, enough is enough, I’m going to say it as it is?

I’m quite well known for saying it how it is, however I do know when to reel it in, mostly

Tact and diplomacy is definitely something I’ve developed with age.

There isn’t one thing that can make me think enough is enough but when it happens get out of my way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can be the very soul of diplomacy and tact but if dealing with an arsehole then they’re going to know they’re an arsehole.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am just bubbly me I say what’s on my mind

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Some of my friends call me sledgehammer

I'll let you decide.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can be very blunt. If I know it’s a sensitive subject I can tone it down and be mindful of peoples feelings but I am a straight to the point kind of person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some of my friends call me sledgehammer

I'll let you decide.

You look like Peter Gabriel?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can be the very soul of diplomacy and tact but if dealing with an arsehole then they’re going to know they’re an arsehole. "

I subscribe to this philosophy….

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"I can be the very soul of diplomacy and tact but if dealing with an arsehole then they’re going to know they’re an arsehole. "

The surprising thing about arseholes is they have no idea they’re an arsehole

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"I am just bubbly me I say what’s on my mind "

What’s on your mind? x

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Some of my friends call me sledgehammer

I'll let you decide.

You look like Peter Gabriel?"

Maybe his fatter younger brother.

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"Some of my friends call me sledgehammer

I'll let you decide.

yeah I think I’m getting the idea

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By *humper.Man
over a year ago

northumberland/scotland

Being ND I'm often unsure about the "correct" thing to do or say. Sometimes I'll try to do or say things in an effort to seem "normal" other times I can be blunt or odd to thr point it comes across rude. But it's rarely my intention. Deep down, we all just wanna be accepted for who we are, right?

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"I can be very blunt. If I know it’s a sensitive subject I can tone it down and be mindful of peoples feelings but I am a straight to the point kind of person."

Blunt but sensitive to others, that’s a good way to be x

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Some of my friends call me sledgehammer

I'll let you decide.

yeah I think I’m getting the idea

I'm a very cuddly sledgehammer though.

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"I can be the very soul of diplomacy and tact but if dealing with an arsehole then they’re going to know they’re an arsehole.

I subscribe to this philosophy….

Nobody likes an arsehole

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being ND I'm often unsure about the "correct" thing to do or say. Sometimes I'll try to do or say things in an effort to seem "normal" other times I can be blunt or odd to thr point it comes across rude. But it's rarely my intention. Deep down, we all just wanna be accepted for who we are, right? "

Forgive me for asking but what is ND?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some of my friends call me sledgehammer

I'll let you decide.

You look like Peter Gabriel?

Maybe his fatter younger brother.

But can you sing like him?

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Some of my friends call me sledgehammer

I'll let you decide.

You look like Peter Gabriel?

Maybe his fatter younger brother.

But can you sing like him?"

If you stand far enough away and you wear ear defenders then........ no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some of my friends call me sledgehammer

I'll let you decide.

You look like Peter Gabriel?

Maybe his fatter younger brother.

But can you sing like him?"

I just say it as it is me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am just bubbly me I say what’s on my mind

What’s on your mind? x"

Nothing at the moment I just mean that I speak my mind I don’t tip toe around thinking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well i always think that i am very soft in my delivery, but feedback from friends +family is that i have the delivery of a brick through a window

So I'm sorry if it comes across bluntly

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I can be, and generally I am tactful and diplomatic but that doesn’t mean I don’t have that little voice inside me shouting out what I want to say

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By *humper.Man
over a year ago

northumberland/scotland

Forgive me for asking but what is ND?"

Neuro diverse... no need to apologise

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

Yes but the pressure to conform to societal norms is almost unbearable for some. Especially with the added difficulty of not necessarily having the tools in your kit to do it. The lack of acceptance in society makes things increasingly difficult.

Just be you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like timmy mallet with his mallet i blurt

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"I am just bubbly me I say what’s on my mind

What’s on your mind? x

Nothing at the moment I just mean that I speak my mind I don’t tip toe around thinking "

Do you feel any pressure to tip toe?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How I avoid telling people straight up, they’re a f’kin idiot on a daily basis is beyond me?

So yes, I can be tactful.

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"Well i always think that i am very soft in my delivery, but feedback from friends +family is that i have the delivery of a brick through a window

So I'm sorry if it comes across bluntly

Do you feel you need to apologise for it?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

The stories we tell ourselves eh ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some of my friends call me sledgehammer

I'll let you decide.

You look like Peter Gabriel?

Maybe his fatter younger brother.

But can you sing like him?

I just say it as it is me"

Yes you do not have tact.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I'm very direct but tactful with it...unless someone is being a complete arsebiscuit, then I'll skip the tactful part.

I don't understand why some people are "tactful" to the point of what they say being wishy-washy and something that can be construed in more than one way, to me that seems a bit duplicitous and designed to mislead rather than save feelings. It's not hard to be straightforward without being intentionally offensive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say I'm a very tactful person in most situations where it is required. But on the other hand, I am more than happy to say something in a direct and blunt way when it needs to be done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am just bubbly me I say what’s on my mind

What’s on your mind? x

Nothing at the moment I just mean that I speak my mind I don’t tip toe around thinking

Do you feel any pressure to tip toe?"

None at all ha ha xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I do sometimes I don’t

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

When I want to be, I can

When I don’t want to be, I’m not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well i always think that i am very soft in my delivery, but feedback from friends +family is that i have the delivery of a brick through a window

So I'm sorry if it comes across bluntly

Do you feel you need to apologise for it?"

I'm acutely aware of it, so i tiptoe using fluffy, teddy bear language around them and withold any personal opinions that they might find challenging (like the Daily Mail is vile +spreads hate +lies

)

I think they want me to conform to their standard (be married /have 2 kids/have normal coloured hair)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve been known to have tact on one or two occasions, but usually I have no filter, so I’m told

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say too much sometimes which usually gets me in peoples bad book.

Deciding to change that and won't say a word

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes.

But not on here. You need a sledgehammer.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I say too much sometimes which usually gets me in peoples bad book.

Deciding to change that and won't say a word

Just be who you are.

So people love you for it.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I’ve been known to have tact on one or two occasions, but usually I have no filter, so I’m told

You've made me blush in the past.

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By *cruffymooWoman
over a year ago

Skelmersdale

I do try but lack a filter. Lol

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

My mouth can be tactful when necessary but my face tends to give away my true feelings anyway.

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"I can be, and generally I am tactful and diplomatic but that doesn’t mean I don’t have that little voice inside me shouting out what I want to say

You are too diplomatic and accommodating at times, my lovely friend

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"Like timmy mallet with his mallet i blurt "

Jeez now I can hear his annoying voice

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"How I avoid telling people straight up, they’re a f’kin idiot on a daily basis is beyond me?

So yes, I can be tactful.

I’m not quite sure that passes as tactful

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"The stories we tell ourselves eh ?

Someone has to

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"I'm very direct but tactful with it...unless someone is being a complete arsebiscuit, then I'll skip the tactful part.

Wishy washy really grinds my piss - I feel like saying grow a pair

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I’m blunt as fuck I hate people who dilly dally around talking nonsense, just tell me how it is.

The mr

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"I'd say I'm a very tactful person in most situations where it is required. But on the other hand, I am more than happy to say something in a direct and blunt way when it needs to be done."

You sound like you should be a diplomat

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"I am just bubbly me I say what’s on my mind

What’s on your mind? x

Nothing at the moment I just mean that I speak my mind I don’t tip toe around thinking

Do you feel any pressure to tip toe?

None at all ha ha xx"

Good for you x

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"Sometimes I do sometimes I don’t "

Well that’s as clear as mud

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I’m blunt as fuck I hate people who dilly dally around talking nonsense, just tell me how it is.

The mr "

There's something I feel I should tell you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Like timmy mallet with his mallet i blurt

Jeez now I can hear his annoying voice

"
muhahaaaa

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"When I want to be, I can

When I don’t want to be, I’m not. "

That about covers it

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"Well i always think that i am very soft in my delivery, but feedback from friends +family is that i have the delivery of a brick through a window

So I'm sorry if it comes across bluntly

Do you feel you need to apologise for it?

I'm acutely aware of it, so i tiptoe using fluffy, teddy bear language around them and withold any personal opinions that they might find challenging (like the Daily Mail is vile +spreads hate +lies

)

I think they want me to conform to their standard (be married /have 2 kids/have normal coloured hair)

Yeah that would grind my piss and I’d probably bite my tongue off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont come with filters ,im polite but honest .I think best way to be.

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"I’ve been known to have tact on one or two occasions, but usually I have no filter, so I’m told

You must be a laugh a minute with your no nonsense approach

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My experience is that people who take pride in being blunt and direct react very badly when others are direct with them. My definition of tact is simply consideration.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve been called savage more than once on here so who knows.

I’m generally tactful but I also have no filter! I sometimes offend when I don’t mean to, thanks to my neurodivergent brain

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I try to be tactful, but sometimes if someone is intent on meeting you and you aren't bothered, you have to give a plain no when they don't get the hints

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How I avoid telling people straight up, they’re a f’kin idiot on a daily basis is beyond me?

So yes, I can be tactful.

I’m not quite sure that passes as tactful

Haha. In answer to your question, sometimes. If I like them, if I don’t, I’m pretty straight as an arrow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I say too much sometimes which usually gets me in peoples bad book.

Deciding to change that and won't say a word

Just be who you are.

So people love you for it.

Again thank you. Oh the blue is back xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm more tactful than my sister as she has no filter. Which is now why I have finally put her on the naughty step. It's bloody awful but necessary to back away from family who are just toxic. I'm glad I've taken a stand x

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I say too much sometimes which usually gets me in peoples bad book.

Deciding to change that and won't say a word

Just be who you are.

So people love you for it.

Again thank you. Oh the blue is back xx"

Phwaor. Xxxxxxx

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I usually warn people that I'm going to be very honest...

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By *ad boy maverickMan
over a year ago

basildon

There are times when tact and diplomacy are needed but there's no.point in pretending to.be who you aren't. People always find out in the end so it's just a waste of time.

P'S.

Why do people ask questions if they don't want the answers ?

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"I say too much sometimes which usually gets me in peoples bad book.

Deciding to change that and won't say a word

Don’t change

Can you imagine the world if everyone never said anything?

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"Yes.

But not on here. You need a sledgehammer. "

Yes a few seem to possess a sledgehammer it seems

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"I do try but lack a filter. Lol "

Filters are overrated

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

Dependent on the situation, I can be as tactful as a fart in a spacesuit

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"My mouth can be tactful when necessary but my face tends to give away my true feelings anyway."

Yeah my face regularly lets me down, thank god for face masks

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"I’m blunt as fuck I hate people who dilly dally around talking nonsense, just tell me how it is.

The mr "

Time is too precious for nonsense

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"I dont come with filters ,im polite but honest .I think best way to be.

If it serves you well then why change

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can be fantastically tactful or fantastically blunt. *Most* of the time I get the mood and situation right too!

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"My experience is that people who take pride in being blunt and direct react very badly when others are direct with them. My definition of tact is simply consideration."

I think most people respond badly to bluntness generally

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"I’ve been called savage more than once on here so who knows.

I’m generally tactful but I also have no filter! I sometimes offend when I don’t mean to, thanks to my neurodivergent brain

Some people need offending ND brain or not x

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

Sometimes you have to tell the unvarnished truth, to get the pain over as quickly as possible.

The powerful people in society do not have to be civil; but they expect others, lower down the pecking order, to be nice to each other!

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"How I avoid telling people straight up, they’re a f’kin idiot on a daily basis is beyond me?

So yes, I can be tactful.

I’m not quite sure that passes as tactful

Haha. In answer to your question, sometimes. If I like them, if I don’t, I’m pretty straight as an arrow.

Put that bow down

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"I try to be tactful, but sometimes if someone is intent on meeting you and you aren't bothered, you have to give a plain no when they don't get the hints

There is someone on this thread that needs to take a leaf out of your book

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm neurodivergent, so I prefer to be direct and to the point than being subtle lol.

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"I'm more tactful than my sister as she has no filter. Which is now why I have finally put her on the naughty step. It's bloody awful but necessary to back away from family who are just toxic. I'm glad I've taken a stand x"

Toxic people are really abhorrent and should be put permanently in room 101

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"I usually warn people that I'm going to be very honest... "

Oh I like that approach………actually I think I do this too. I hadn’t realised until now

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"There are times when tact and diplomacy are needed but there's no.point in pretending to.be who you aren't. People always find out in the end so it's just a waste of time.

P'S.

Why do people ask questions if they don't want the answers ?"

I see you’ve decided no tact and diplomacy is required here. You’re right though, bat shit crazy soon shows itself

PS Real life gets in the way

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"Dependent on the situation, I can be as tactful as a fart in a spacesuit"

Omg I love that

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"I can be fantastically tactful or fantastically blunt. *Most* of the time I get the mood and situation right too!

You’re a pussycat Dan and you know it x

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"Sometimes you have to tell the unvarnished truth, to get the pain over as quickly as possible.

The powerful people in society do not have to be civil; but they expect others, lower down the pecking order, to be nice to each other!"

Very powerful

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By *ink Panther. OP Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"I'm neurodivergent, so I prefer to be direct and to the point than being subtle lol."

Probably best in my opinion, mixed signals are never a good thing in any situation

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Varies on the situation and the audience attitude - arrogance get no filter where vulnerability gets every consideration

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By *an4funMan
over a year ago

london

"I can be the very soul of diplomacy and tact but if dealing with an arsehole then they’re going to know they’re an arsehole.

The surprising thing about arseholes is they have no idea they’re an arsehole

And sometimes they're not an arsehole and therefore correct in the assumption that they aren't. Sometimes it's the person calling them an arsehole who is actually the arsehole.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I can be the very soul of diplomacy and tact but if dealing with an arsehole then they’re going to know they’re an arsehole.

The surprising thing about arseholes is they have no idea they’re an arsehole

And sometimes they're not an arsehole and therefore correct in the assumption that they aren't. Sometimes it's the person calling them an arsehole who is actually the arsehole."

Yep. The stories we tell ourselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well i always think that i am very soft in my delivery, but feedback from friends +family is that i have the delivery of a brick through a window

So I'm sorry if it comes across bluntly

Do you feel you need to apologise for it?

I'm acutely aware of it, so i tiptoe using fluffy, teddy bear language around them and withold any personal opinions that they might find challenging (like the Daily Mail is vile +spreads hate +lies

)

I think they want me to conform to their standard (be married /have 2 kids/have normal coloured hair)

Yeah that would grind my piss and I’d probably bite my tongue off

In fairness i am very conflict averse - a result of my childhood!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well i always think that i am very soft in my delivery, but feedback from friends +family is that i have the delivery of a brick through a window

So I'm sorry if it comes across bluntly

Do you feel you need to apologise for it?

I'm acutely aware of it, so i tiptoe using fluffy, teddy bear language around them and withold any personal opinions that they might find challenging (like the Daily Mail is vile +spreads hate +lies

)

I think they want me to conform to their standard (be married /have 2 kids/have normal coloured hair)

Yeah that would grind my piss and I’d probably bite my tongue off

In fairness i am very conflict averse - a result of my childhood! "

I like to think I learned from what I perceive as my parents mistakes. No doubt my kids think the same..

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