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Attachment Styles

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By *tarflyLou OP   Woman
over a year ago

Preston

Do you know yours?

My assignment for my course for this semester involves looking at your own attachment style and reflecting on it. I’ve done a couple of online questionnaires and they both said I had almost equal parts of all four styles, not very helpful!

I guess I’ll have to move away from the pop psychology and head down the academic route for answers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personal I prefer handcuffs when it comes to my attachment needs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lifelong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Velcro..

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By *andyMinx_tvTV/TS
over a year ago

Leeds

For many years I was dismissive. I now consider myself to be secure. This would appear to contradict Bowlby's assertion that later relationships are likely to be a continuation of early attachment styles (secure and insecure). But I definitely feel differently in relationships now to when I was younger.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"For many years I was dismissive. I now consider myself to be secure. This would appear to contradict Bowlby's assertion that later relationships are likely to be a continuation of early attachment styles (secure and insecure). But I definitely feel differently in relationships now to when I was younger."

He was the first to really study and verbalise this and many (including his son) have since developed his theory.

So experience in life, growing self-awareness through a whole host of opportunities including therapy enables us to break innate, subconscious patterns and form healthier attachments as we grow older.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fearful avoidant apparently

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

Somewhere between Avoidant and Secure

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Secure - but I don’t buy the theory it’s set at an early age, I have known many people heal and change styles. I think it’s largely made up pseudo science

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

I don't believe in it.

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By *oft_SensualTV/TS
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Perpetually single? Is that an attachment style? Or a reflection of other people's insecurities and/or inability to process non binary gender identities?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think i vary depending upon where i am in the relationship lifecyle and ghe person, ie family, friend, lover

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

Mine is secure

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I was conditioned into Fearful Insecure at a very young age, (check out the kids list which is slightly different to adults Lou) which evolved into Dismissive Avoidant as a teen, which evolved into Secure at the age of 30 and Ive been there ever since

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need to go and do a test....the internet is always right, right?

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights


"I need to go and do a test....the internet is always right, right?"

You need to pick a test that you think works for you. There are hundreds of them on the Web, in differing layers of accuracy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I need to go and do a test....the internet is always right, right?

You need to pick a test that you think works for you. There are hundreds of them on the Web, in differing layers of accuracy "
theres tests

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Secure - but I don’t buy the theory it’s set at an early age, I have known many people heal and change styles. I think it’s largely made up pseudo science "

It is easy to dismiss something when we don't understand it.

Somebody else said they "don't believe in it" - you don't need to believe in the work of John Bowlby. It is not about what individual people believe or dismiss, the work stands in its own right.

Attachment theories are pretty much the foundation of most modern approaches to counselling and psychotherapy. And these therapies and treatments are a huge part of helping people (old and young) with mental health issues.

Dismissing attachment issues and the therapies they underpin, is a bit like saying one does not believe in antibiotics, painkillers or physiotherapy etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dunno if anyone else has mentioned this guy but worth a watch.

https://youtu.be/gMRph_BvHB4

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Dunno if anyone else has mentioned this guy but worth a watch.

https://youtu.be/gMRph_BvHB4"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Harry

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden

Apparently my attachment style is Secure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They fuck you up, your Mum and Dad.

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By *otdayMan
over a year ago

Reading

Dismissive Avoidant, just taken the test. I will now have to read up on what that means.

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By *igGs19Woman
over a year ago

Castle Douglas

From "The Attachment Project" free quiz - Disorganized/ Fearful-avoidant.

That checks out...

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