FabSwingers.com forum: Penis Factoids

By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Yes my good people, here is the place to demonstrate your knowledge of the wondrous thing that is the penis.

All interesting facts welcome. Let us together celebrate the joy of the Johnson

I’ll get you started: Did you know that the average length of a gorilla’s erection is just 4cm?

Off you go good folks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you know that cheesy bellends aren’t good for lactose intolerant ppl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you know that Tony Hancock has four body parts in his name?

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

A blue whale produces around 20 litres of semen with every ejaculation. Can you imagine the size of the curtains you'd need to wipe that up?

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

Blue Whales have the longest at 12 inches

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

"A blue whale produces around 20 litres of semen with every ejaculation. Can you imagine the size of the curtains you'd need to wipe that up?

"
m

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By *elisandre300Woman
over a year ago

dontbefuckingnosey

The biggest penis of all belongs the blue whale. The average length of it is 8 feet (or 2.4 meters) to 10 feet (or 3 meters), but the average diameter is only 12 inches (300 mm) to 14 inches (360 mm).

Now that’s eye watering

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Did you know that cheesy bellends aren’t good for lactose intolerant ppl "

Ahhh….I’m sorry about that

In fairness though, I did give the old boy a good scrub after you recovered. It’s looking nice and shiny now and smells almost tolerable…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you know that women on Fab know a LOT about the size of a blue whale's penis?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some dicks have arms and legs as well as a head...

True story

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By *elisandre300Woman
over a year ago

dontbefuckingnosey

The greater hooked squids penis is the same length as it’s body… just under a meter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some dicks have arms and legs as well as a head...

True story"

Yet never a brain?? Go figure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did you know that cheesy bellends aren’t good for lactose intolerant ppl

Ahhh….I’m sorry about that

In fairness though, I did give the old boy a good scrub after you recovered. It’s looking nice and shiny now and smells almost tolerable…

On my way to try it out again

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Some species, such as drakes, have corkscrew like nobs.

I saw one once. It put me off my spiral pasta for some time…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some dicks have arms and legs as well as a head...

True story

Yet never a brain?? Go figure

Head by head basis

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Did you know that cheesy bellends aren’t good for lactose intolerant ppl

Ahhh….I’m sorry about that

In fairness though, I did give the old boy a good scrub after you recovered. It’s looking nice and shiny now and smells almost tolerable…

On my way to try it out again "

That’s the spirit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That bit of useless skin attached to the end of it has been incorrectly named as "a foreskin" for years.

It's actually "a man".

(Oldie but goodie).

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Did you know that women on Fab know a LOT about the size of a blue whale's penis?"

I too am admittedly intrigued by their seemingly encyclopaedic knowledge in this very specific area.

I certainly don’t recall Sir David Attenborough ever divulging such facts….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do researchers find this information

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

UK come in at 69th place in the world for average penis size slotting in between Armenia and China.

Ecuador take first place for largest on average and last place for the smallest goes to Cambodia.

Even worse news for Ireland coming in at 72nd place.

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"Some species, such as drakes, have corkscrew like nobs.

I saw one once. It put me off my spiral pasta for some time…"

My husband came home via the canal and told me about the duck penis. After a Google image search I totally traumatised people on the forum by posting about it

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

According to anthropologists, the human penis originally (way back in ancient history) had spines(!!!)

Visualise this if you will for a moment; A Stegosaurus like nob are we talking….?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My husband came home via the canal"

^Euphemism.

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

[Removed by poster at 20/09/22 17:07:03]

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Some species, such as drakes, have corkscrew like nobs.

I saw one once. It put me off my spiral pasta for some time…

My husband came home via the canal and told me about the duck penis. After a Google image search I totally traumatised people on the forum by posting about it

I still have nightmares about the heinous sight I beheld; dangling there it was, all squirly like a fleshy helter skelter

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Most men have little to no idea how their own penis works!

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Tired of washing your nobs chaps? Well, why not do what the sea slug, Chromodoris reticulata does and simply shed it after a single use before growing a new one.

Awesome!

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By *urroraMan
over a year ago

Northern lights

The Human male has enough blood in his body to operate his Brain and Penis.

But not enough to use both at the same time!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"UK come in at 69th place in the world for average penis size slotting in between Armenia and China.

Ecuador take first place for largest on average and last place for the smallest goes to Cambodia.

Even worse news for Ireland coming in at 72nd place."

Where, when and how is this information collected? ONS questionnaire?

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

The argonaut octopus boasts a detachable penis - a fact which is pretty damned awesome in itself; but wait!…..not only can it detach, it can also swim independently and actively seek out females(!!!!)

Scientists actually initially mistook the swimming penis to be a parasitic worm of some kind before realising its true nature.

How cool is that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jimi Hendrix, Jim Kerr and Erect Jim all have or had big ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rasputin did not have a huge one and Napoleon did not have a tiny one. They are both phallusies.

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

"UK come in at 69th place in the world for average penis size slotting in between Armenia and China.

Ecuador take first place for largest on average and last place for the smallest goes to Cambodia.

Even worse news for Ireland coming in at 72nd place.

Where, when and how is this information collected? ONS questionnaire?

Don't know Google told me

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By *ister CMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Did you know that whilst my penis is not 12ins long it most definitely smells like a foot!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did I just Google a ducks penis

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Why did I just Google a ducks penis

It’s a pretty grim sight right?

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"My husband came home via the canal

^Euphemism."

Do you also want to explore the back passages of Wolverhampton? There's quite a lot to experience

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Did you know that male alligators have permanent erections?

Yep, these dudes are ready to go at any moments notice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My husband came home via the canal

^Euphemism.

Do you also want to explore the back passages of Wolverhampton? There's quite a lot to experience

Your Friday night tours are the stuff of legend.

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

A penile erection can normally last anywhere between a few minutes to about half an hour.

All well and good

- but chaps, beware of a condition termed Priapism wherein the old boy won’t go down for love nor money.

This ain’t good and the potential side effects, in extreme cases, can include the necessity for castration…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A penile erection can normally last anywhere between a few minutes to about half an hour.

All well and good

- but chaps, beware of a condition termed Priapism wherein the old boy won’t go down for love nor money.

This ain’t good and the potential side effects, in extreme cases, can include the necessity for castration…

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"A penile erection can normally last anywhere between a few minutes to about half an hour.

All well and good

- but chaps, beware of a condition termed Priapism wherein the old boy won’t go down for love nor money.

This ain’t good and the potential side effects, in extreme cases, can include the necessity for castration…

Sometimes I *really* love being a woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Green liquid is not a good sign

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why did I just Google a ducks penis

It’s a pretty grim sight right?

Yep

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Despite the fact that the todger does seemingly ossify a good’un when it sees the opportunity for a bit of the old carnal action, there are in fact no bones in a boner.

….at least, this is true for we humans; some other primates DO boast bones in their nobs (bonobos monkeys and chimpanzees being two examples)

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"A blue whale produces around 20 litres of semen with every ejaculation. Can you imagine the size of the curtains you'd need to wipe that up?

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Despite the fact that the todger does seemingly ossify a good’un when it sees the opportunity for a bit of the old carnal action, there are in fact no bones in a boner.

….at least, this is true for we humans; some other primates DO boast bones in their nobs (bonobos monkeys and chimpanzees being two examples)

There may not be able bones but it can be broken

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The shrew has the smallest penis of the animal kingdom, typically just 0.2 inches

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Did you know that cheesy bellends aren’t good for lactose intolerant ppl "

I have a cheest knob story from when I was a teenager.

Needless to say they aren't good for those who aren't lactose intolerant either

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Did you know that if you’re a 5 then my knob only grows to 6inches but if you’re an 8 or above then it grows to 7.5inches.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Did you know that if you’re a 5 then my knob only grows to 6inches but if you’re an 8 or above then it grows to 7.5inches. "

I reckon that's stretching it!

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

"Did you know that if you’re a 5 then my knob only grows to 6inches but if you’re an 8 or above then it grows to 7.5inches.

I reckon that's stretching it!"

8’s and above do stretch it

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Did you know that if you’re a 5 then my knob only grows to 6inches but if you’re an 8 or above then it grows to 7.5inches. "

Why was it only 4" when I got my mitts on it, then?!

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Did you know that cheesy bellends aren’t good for lactose intolerant ppl "

Ewwwwwww as my sister would say.... let's not talk about genital cheese.

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By *lexixCDTV/TS
over a year ago

Travellin aroon

There was a young lady from Wick

Who said "mother what is a prick"

She said "its a rissole

you stuff up your passhole

and waggle about till its sick"

Boom Boom

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Did you know that if you’re a 5 then my knob only grows to 6inches but if you’re an 8 or above then it grows to 7.5inches.

Why was it only 4" when I got my mitts on it, then?!

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"Did you know that women on Fab know a LOT about the size of a blue whale's penis?"

And to think we claim that size doesn't matter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did you know that women on Fab know a LOT about the size of a blue whale's penis?

And to think we claim that size doesn't matter

They put the dick into Moby.

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"Did you know that women on Fab know a LOT about the size of a blue whale's penis?

And to think we claim that size doesn't matter

They put the dick into Moby."

Did it improve his music?

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By *nobyMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

In proportion to body size limpits have the largest penis of any creature

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did you know that women on Fab know a LOT about the size of a blue whale's penis?

And to think we claim that size doesn't matter

They put the dick into Moby.

Did it improve his music?"

Is that what is was?

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By *teve_it_aloneMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Did you know… Factoid doesn’t mean “little fact”.

Well, factoid *shouldn’t* really mean the same as fact. The “oid” suffix is used to mean “like” or “resemblance” - e.g. a planetoid is a small body resembling a planet, but not a planet.

Factoid was originally coined to describe snippets of information which were accepted as true but weren’t actually so.

However, language has evolved and a generally accepted second meaning is “little” or “trivial” fact.

So my first line was a factoid in the original sense, and the rest of this is a factoid in line with current usage.

Yes, I’m good in a pub quiz.

No, I’m no good at parties.

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Did you know… Factoid doesn’t mean “little fact”.

Factoid was originally coined to describe snippets of information which were accepted as true but weren’t actually so.

However, language has evolved and a generally accepted second meaning is “little” or “trivial” fact.

So my first line was a factoid in the original sense, and the rest of this is a factoid in line with current usage.

Yes, I’m good in a pub quiz.

No, I’m no good at parties. "

I feel a factoid fact thread is in order

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

‘Angel lust’ is a term coined and sometimes used to donate the phenomenon of erections that occur after death.

It was particularly noted in days gone by as often occurring to those who had just been hanged (cheery bastard me, eh?)

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By *hitney NeilWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in a marmite jar near you.

I know all about yours Hubby

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By *teve_it_aloneMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"Did you know… Factoid doesn’t mean “little fact”.

Factoid was originally coined to describe snippets of information which were accepted as true but weren’t actually so.

However, language has evolved and a generally accepted second meaning is “little” or “trivial” fact.

So my first line was a factoid in the original sense, and the rest of this is a factoid in line with current usage.

Yes, I’m good in a pub quiz.

No, I’m no good at parties. "

Oops, I forgot to include missed the penis reference… writing all of the above probably makes me seem like a bit of a cock!

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By *idlandiaMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

"A blue whale produces around 20 litres of semen with every ejaculation."

And thus, why the seas are salty is explained.

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By *cottieboy123Man
over a year ago

Perth

"That bit of useless skin attached to the end of it has been incorrectly named as "a foreskin" for years.

It's actually "a man".

(Oldie but goodie)."

What do you call the mounds of glutinous fat that surround the clitoris?

The wife.

(Oldie,but still offensive)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

#1 Bats can and often do fellate themselves.

#2 cock shots are terrible as profile pictures

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a penis fact but did you know a factoid is actually a fake fact

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By *teve_it_aloneMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"Not a penis fact but did you know a factoid is actually a fake fact"

Yes…

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By *sleWightCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Ryde

The penis is known to retract as part of a natural defence-mechanism when the wife mentions doing household jobs which need doing.

OK, that might be just me...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not a penis fact but did you know a factoid is actually a fake fact"

So.....what's an asteroid....

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Not a penis fact but did you know a factoid is actually a fake fact

So.....what's an asteroid....

A thing that looks like a star, but isn't. Literally "starlike"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/09/22 00:20:55]

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Here’s another glorious penile tidbit; the average male orgasm is approximately a mere six seconds.

Compare this to a ladies, clocking in at an average of 23 seconds.

Hmmm….stopwatches to the ready good folks; are these approximations correct?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not a penis fact but did you know a factoid is actually a fake fact

So.....what's an asteroid....

A thing that looks like a star, but isn't. Literally "starlike""

Star fakery

I feel betrayed by the universe

Homonyms are knocking at my brain but I will resist.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here’s another glorious penile tidbit; the average male orgasm is approximately a mere six seconds.

Compare this to a ladies, clocking in at an average of 23 seconds.

Hmmm….stopwatches to the ready good folks; are these approximations correct? "

My abs say yes

Yes! Yes! Yes!

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Not a penis fact but did you know a factoid is actually a fake fact

So.....what's an asteroid....

A thing that looks like a star, but isn't. Literally "starlike""

Arseteroid - the star that really isn’t a star….

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Here’s another glorious penile tidbit; the average male orgasm is approximately a mere six seconds.

Compare this to a ladies, clocking in at an average of 23 seconds.

Hmmm….stopwatches to the ready good folks; are these approximations correct?

My abs say yes

Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Isn't that just a Herbal Essences advert?!

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Here’s another glorious penile tidbit; the average male orgasm is approximately a mere six seconds.

Compare this to a ladies, clocking in at an average of 23 seconds.

Hmmm….stopwatches to the ready good folks; are these approximations correct?

My abs say yes

Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Mine is sort of: ‘Urgh! Oh Gawd yes! Yes…..oh…is it over?’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here’s another glorious penile tidbit; the average male orgasm is approximately a mere six seconds.

Compare this to a ladies, clocking in at an average of 23 seconds.

Hmmm….stopwatches to the ready good folks; are these approximations correct?

My abs say yes

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Isn't that just a Herbal Essences advert?!"

They do say there are no original thoughts or ideas....

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Here’s another glorious penile tidbit; the average male orgasm is approximately a mere six seconds.

Compare this to a ladies, clocking in at an average of 23 seconds.

Hmmm….stopwatches to the ready good folks; are these approximations correct?

My abs say yes

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Isn't that just a Herbal Essences advert?!

They do say there are no original thoughts or ideas....

But do you smell like the rainforest? Or mountain dew? Or grapefruit and coconut or something?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here’s another glorious penile tidbit; the average male orgasm is approximately a mere six seconds.

Compare this to a ladies, clocking in at an average of 23 seconds.

Hmmm….stopwatches to the ready good folks; are these approximations correct?

My abs say yes

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Isn't that just a Herbal Essences advert?!

They do say there are no original thoughts or ideas....

But do you smell like the rainforest? Or mountain dew? Or grapefruit and coconut or something?!

I do like to get fruity in the shower

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Here’s another glorious penile tidbit; the average male orgasm is approximately a mere six seconds.

Compare this to a ladies, clocking in at an average of 23 seconds.

Hmmm….stopwatches to the ready good folks; are these approximations correct?

My abs say yes

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Isn't that just a Herbal Essences advert?!

They do say there are no original thoughts or ideas....

But do you smell like the rainforest? Or mountain dew? Or grapefruit and coconut or something?!

I do like to get fruity in the shower"

Umbongo!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here’s another glorious penile tidbit; the average male orgasm is approximately a mere six seconds.

Compare this to a ladies, clocking in at an average of 23 seconds.

Hmmm….stopwatches to the ready good folks; are these approximations correct?

My abs say yes

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Isn't that just a Herbal Essences advert?!

They do say there are no original thoughts or ideas....

But do you smell like the rainforest? Or mountain dew? Or grapefruit and coconut or something?!

I do like to get fruity in the shower

Umbongo!

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