FabSwingers.com forum: Negative people on help threads

By *unandgamegeek OP Man
over a year ago

Bolton

Why is it when someone posts a thread whenever they're feeling down and just want some help and someone to talk to, someone negative butts in and starts calling the OP an attention seeker that's just looking for sympathy and says negative things that would be hurtful towards the OP?

I don't get why negative people have to do things like this.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South

Because they lack empathy.

Some folk think everyone should deal with things how they deal with things, so lack patience for others who maybe don’t handle things so well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because they lack empathy.

Some folk think everyone should deal with things how they deal with things, so lack patience for others who maybe don’t handle things so well.

This

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

Some folk just can't help themselves, OP. I hope you're ok?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't seen this.

Do you have an example?

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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago

In my happy place

Its the internet.

That's all.

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By *unandgamegeek OP Man
over a year ago

Bolton

"Some folk just can't help themselves, OP. I hope you're ok?

Yeah, I'm ok. Some guy sent me a negative message after seeing my post on my social anxiety so I blocked him.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

People typically often make their core self evident when others are very different to them, sort of like their badge or honour. It's especially present for people who have limited empathy, as they are uncomfortable.

It's not pleasant, particularly when someone is in distress, as it gives nothing but can foster others feeling wrong or out of place.

The beauty here is that we are often given an easy ride, others making it very simple to see that they are not matched with us.

Keep being yourself and showing your caring, compassionate nature

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am just a generaly nice person

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By *unandgamegeek OP Man
over a year ago

Bolton

"I haven't seen this.

Do you have an example?

A guy messaged me saying something like I'm only looking for sympathy and I should accept that I'll never get NSA sex. I chose to ignore it even if it was a kind of hurtful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some folk just can't help themselves, OP. I hope you're ok?

Yeah, I'm ok. Some guy sent me a negative message after seeing my post on my social anxiety so I blocked him."

That's shitty.

If they had a valid comment that was reasonable they could have popped it on the thread.

Obv haven't seen it but I'd guess the only reason they hid it on a dm is because it was likely pure bs or nasty.

Delete and ignore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've not seen you posting before OP so if you've genuinely been feeling bad and got negative responses then this is crap. Hope you're doing better now.

I've been guilty of posting "get a fucking grip" when I've seen someone post or ask advice for the same thing over and over again.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"Some folk just can't help themselves, OP. I hope you're ok?

Yeah, I'm ok. Some guy sent me a negative message after seeing my post on my social anxiety so I blocked him."

Some people really are dicks!

But yes, block is the answer & then forget. There are more lovely folk on here than tossers like him. Take care of you and never suffer in silence

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Some people like to piss on other people's chips. It makes them feel better about themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending private pms to someone to completely out of order.

I've got more time for someone who will post something cheeky or rude to me in the forum than be a total coward, pm, then run.

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By *yes146Man
over a year ago

London / Bournemouth

Every 1 negative person there are 10 positive people.

Hope all is well

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Alas! I have been guilty of this. A bloke asked about the best way to wank and I said ‘get a fucking grip!

’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am just a generaly nice person "

A funny little example off this

Was in a shop the other week a older and when I say older I mean 70-80ish

Asked if I could help her find a birthday card for her grandson

I stopped what I was doing in the shop put back what I had in my hands

And then spent the next 20 minutes picking up birthday cards

Afterwards she thanked me and sed I should get employee off the month for my help

To her surprise I turned and sed I don’t work here I am only a customer she was gob smacked that someone took 20 minutes to help her out the goodness off they hart

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By *unandgamegeek OP Man
over a year ago

Bolton

"Some folk just can't help themselves, OP. I hope you're ok?

Yeah, I'm ok. Some guy sent me a negative message after seeing my post on my social anxiety so I blocked him.

Some people really are dicks!

But yes, block is the answer & then forget. There are more lovely folk on here than tossers like him. Take care of you and never suffer in silence

I'll make sure of that as I'm not letting some egotistical idiot get me down.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"I am just a generaly nice person

A funny little example off this

Was in a shop the other week a older and when I say older I mean 70-80ish

Asked if I could help her find a birthday card for her grandson

I stopped what I was doing in the shop put back what I had in my hands

And then spent the next 20 minutes picking up birthday cards

Afterwards she thanked me and sed I should get employee off the month for my help

To her surprise I turned and sed I don’t work here I am only a customer she was gob smacked that someone took 20 minutes to help her out the goodness off they hart

Aw, that's lovely

Little old ladies on their own always make me so sad x

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By *unandgamegeek OP Man
over a year ago

Bolton

"I've not seen you posting before OP so if you've genuinely been feeling bad and got negative responses then this is crap. Hope you're doing better now.

I've been guilty of posting "get a fucking grip" when I've seen someone post or ask advice for the same thing over and over again. "

Yeah, I'm doing ok. I'm taking a break from clubs at the moment as my social anxiety got bad last week.

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By *ryandseeMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

There are a few people here, often the same ones, who either intentionally disregard how other people feel or have the tendency to laugh everything off which can be equally insensitive in certain posts. As many said, those should just be ignored, not worth it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP: Never let anyone get you down. People that purposely insult others hurtfully is a reflection of themselves. It's their character flaw not yours . Delete, block and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am just a generaly nice person

A funny little example off this

Was in a shop the other week a older and when I say older I mean 70-80ish

Asked if I could help her find a birthday card for her grandson

I stopped what I was doing in the shop put back what I had in my hands

And then spent the next 20 minutes picking up birthday cards

Afterwards she thanked me and sed I should get employee off the month for my help

To her surprise I turned and sed I don’t work here I am only a customer she was gob smacked that someone took 20 minutes to help her out the goodness off they hart

Aw, that's lovely

Little old ladies on their own always make me so sad x"

Me as well will always stop to help one my thoughts are hopeing if it was my gran someone would stop to help her

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By *unandgamegeek OP Man
over a year ago

Bolton

"OP: Never let anyone get you down. People that purposely insult others hurtfully is a reflection of themselves. It's their character flaw not yours . Delete, block and move on

Already doing so

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Will allways get these types! Mostly I think we are emphatic here in the forums x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/09/22 20:38:06]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I haven't seen this.

Do you have an example?

A guy messaged me saying something like I'm only looking for sympathy and I should accept that I'll never get NSA sex. I chose to ignore it even if it was a kind of hurtful."

I’m sorry to hear this, that’s terrible

It’s perfectly valid to ask for help on here

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By *idnight RamblerMan
over a year ago

Pershore

What you see as negative might be 'tough love', which sometimes is the best advice.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"What you see as negative might be 'tough love', which sometimes is the best advice. "

I disagree. Pulling someone down when they are trying to pull themselves up could have the opposite effect, if you don't know the person you're talking to.

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By *unandgamegeek OP Man
over a year ago

Bolton

"I haven't seen this.

Do you have an example?

A guy messaged me saying something like I'm only looking for sympathy and I should accept that I'll never get NSA sex. I chose to ignore it even if it was a kind of hurtful.

I’m sorry to hear this, that’s terrible

It’s perfectly valid to ask for help on here "

I agree. It's better to ask for help than to suffer in silence.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Never try to second guess someone’s motivations. You’ll never really know or understand why they’ll have such a negative attitude.

It’s easy to say ignore it, takes a lot to be able to do that. But wherever possible remember, very few internet trolls have lived happy and content lives.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

As with most subjects op, it's different strokes for different folks so while I agree it's a shitty thing to do I don't agree that everyone posting about their struggles are treated equally on here.

Selective hearing, selective vision and selective empathy is fairly common on the forums.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is it when someone posts a thread whenever they're feeling down and just want some help and someone to talk to, someone negative butts in and starts calling the OP an attention seeker that's just looking for sympathy and says negative things that would be hurtful towards the OP?

I don't get why negative people have to do things like this."

Karens

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By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours

Because they want attention, it's up to us which trolls we feed

Sadly though many have a just as shitty life and are looking for help, unfortunately it takes the help from the person who actually asked for it

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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago

Milton keynes

To quote a famous line..some people just wanna watch the world burn

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By *lean_CutMan
over a year ago

Rasen area

"Because they lack empathy.

Some folk think everyone should deal with things how they deal with things, so lack patience for others who maybe don’t handle things so well.

^^^^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say they just want the attention. Gaining attention in a negative way is easy to achieve on the internet.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I don't get why negative people have to do things like this."

Because people are cunts, pure and simple.

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By *urvelover39Man
over a year ago

Somewhere

"What you see as negative might be 'tough love', which sometimes is the best advice.

I disagree. Pulling someone down when they are trying to pull themselves up could have the opposite effect, if you don't know the person you're talking to. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sending private pms to someone to completely out of order.

I've got more time for someone who will post something cheeky or rude to me in the forum than be a total coward, pm, then run."

Jotted down for future reference

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

It’s called projection OP

Marc

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By *unandgamegeek OP Man
over a year ago

Bolton

"It’s called projection OP

Marc"

Projection in what way?

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

"It’s called projection OP

Marc

Projection in what way?"

People project their own insecurities and fears on to other people so they don’t have to face them themselves

Marc

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By *unandgamegeek OP Man
over a year ago

Bolton

"It’s called projection OP

Marc

Projection in what way?

People project their own insecurities and fears on to other people so they don’t have to face them themselves

Marc"

I thought so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s called projection OP

Marc

Projection in what way?

People project their own insecurities and fears on to other people so they don’t have to face them themselves

Marc"

As the saying goes ......

Hurt people, hurt people.

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