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"I've just pulled enough hair* out the plughole to make a merkin. *not pubic hair" Make it pubic | |||
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"I'm currently scrubbing my cellar floor. Please, don't all be envious of my glam life " On your hands and knees? Oooooft. Cinderella | |||
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"I ate a sweet that had broke the 5 second rule " Bro I’d get tested if I were you. Eat another one first though | |||
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"I'm currently scrubbing my cellar floor. Please, don't all be envious of my glam life On your hands and knees? Oooooft. Cinderella " Where's my Prince charming?! Currently channeling an ugly sister right now | |||
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"Dusting of my shoes for breakfast club tomorrow morning whilst waiting for FIFA to install after PS told me the disc was dirty " You finally got fifa 22? Grim | |||
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"I ate a sweet that had broke the 5 second rule " Heathen. I like it. | |||
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"I haven’t showered in 7 weeks. " In the words of J Hus ‘3 hours of sleep and I ain’t showered in weeks- I’m on my grind baby’. Or something like that. Anyway, you win. Just nasty. | |||
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"I'm currently scrubbing my cellar floor. Please, don't all be envious of my glam life On your hands and knees? Oooooft. Cinderella Where's my Prince charming?! Currently channeling an ugly sister right now " No, the sisters didn’t lift a finger. You’re Cinderella. Filthy animal | |||
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"I drink milk from the carton and put it back I butter toast and then spread jam with the same knife leaving butter in the jam I wash bottom to top if you don’t know why that’s wrong smh But basically if you wash that why the dirty soap will run down on to you legs offectivly make washing your legs pointless Also off these shour be taken with a grane off salty as I don’t do any off them " You’re such a wrongen. God I fucking want you right now | |||
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"I’ve just been football training & now I’ve got muddy balls " Did you play naked? I hope so | |||
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"I’m fiddling in my ear with a cotton bud. I love the smell but it doesn’t taste nice" not bad not bad. Try adding MSG. Bellybutton tastes nicer by the way. | |||
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"I’ve not brushed my teeth since 2015. ..wait, 20:15" Had me in the first half there. Second half was disappointing though | |||
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"I ate a sweet that had broke the 5 second rule Bro I’d get tested if I were you. Eat another one first though " I dropped the packet and still ate them. | |||
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"Dusting of my shoes for breakfast club tomorrow morning whilst waiting for FIFA to install after PS told me the disc was dirty You finally got fifa 22? Grim " Secured it with Tesco club card points last year. This years points going towards Disney+ so I can watch she hulk twerk | |||
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"I ate a sweet that had broke the 5 second rule Heathen. I like it. " I didn’t say how far past the 5 second rule it was | |||
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"I drink milk from the carton and put it back I butter toast and then spread jam with the same knife leaving butter in the jam I wash bottom to top if you don’t know why that’s wrong smh But basically if you wash that why the dirty soap will run down on to you legs offectivly make washing your legs pointless Also off these shour be taken with a grane off salty as I don’t do any off them You’re such a wrongen. God I fucking want you right now " Ha ha | |||
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"I ate a sweet that had broke the 5 second rule Bro I’d get tested if I were you. Eat another one first though I dropped the packet and still ate them. " God you’re fucking hot bro. Did you lick the floor after? | |||
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"Dusting of my shoes for breakfast club tomorrow morning whilst waiting for FIFA to install after PS told me the disc was dirty You finally got fifa 22? Grim Secured it with Tesco club card points last year. This years points going towards Disney+ so I can watch she hulk twerk " You like green? I hear it | |||
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"I’m trying to get work done right now, but I can’t stop thinking about last week when we were 69’ing and your delicious juices were flowing into my mouth." I think I’m going to display this veri | |||
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"I ate a sweet that had broke the 5 second rule Bro I’d get tested if I were you. Eat another one first though I dropped the packet and still ate them. God you’re fucking hot bro. Did you lick the floor after? " They were fruit pastilles and I spilled the sugar too and I may or may not have used my finger like a dip dab. | |||
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"My hands are covered in mashed avocado - I’m making a butternut squash chilli with homemade guacamole, homemade salsa, Mexican corn and soured cream " You’re pure filth! Also, its quarter past 9! Have you not eaten yet?! | |||
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"I ate a sweet that had broke the 5 second rule Bro I’d get tested if I were you. Eat another one first though I dropped the packet and still ate them. God you’re fucking hot bro. Did you lick the floor after? They were fruit pastilles and I spilled the sugar too and I may or may not have used my finger like a dip dab." Vegan sweets? God. I’m pulsating for you | |||
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"I’ve done so many dishes today after the cooking session. " Oooh same. Are your hands wrinkly? | |||
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"I just picked up a guinea pig poo with my bare fingers." Want me to lick them? God I want you Nell, please | |||
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"I ate a sweet that had broke the 5 second rule Bro I’d get tested if I were you. Eat another one first though I dropped the packet and still ate them. God you’re fucking hot bro. Did you lick the floor after? They were fruit pastilles and I spilled the sugar too and I may or may not have used my finger like a dip dab. Vegan sweets? God. I’m pulsating for you" Only the black and red ones though. | |||
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"I just picked up a guinea pig poo with my bare fingers. Want me to lick them? God I want you Nell, please " Shall I save you some "jelly beans" too? | |||
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"I’ve just been football training & now I’ve got muddy balls " Can I interest you in a spit shine? | |||
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"I've just pulled enough hair* out the plughole to make a merkin. *not pubic hair Make it pubic " I'm gluing it on with eyelash glue as we speak | |||
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"My hands are covered in mashed avocado - I’m making a butternut squash chilli with homemade guacamole, homemade salsa, Mexican corn and soured cream You’re pure filth! Also, its quarter past 9! Have you not eaten yet?! " This is early for me | |||
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"I’ve just been football training & now I’ve got muddy balls Can I interest you in a spit shine? " Absolutely, you might need a big cloth as well | |||
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"I haven’t showered in 7 weeks. In the words of J Hus ‘3 hours of sleep and I ain’t showered in weeks- I’m on my grind baby’. Or something like that. Anyway, you win. Just nasty. " I’ve been in plaster . I have washed - very well. But I did stretch the truth just to win. | |||
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"My hands are covered in mashed avocado - I’m making a butternut squash chilli with homemade guacamole, homemade salsa, Mexican corn and soured cream " We are interviewing for a personal chef - jobs yours - uniform is what you are wearing in your profile picture Now lick me corn hole and squash me butternuts with your guacamoles till me sour cream goes everywhere | |||
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"I'm currently scrubbing my cellar floor. Please, don't all be envious of my glam life " I am impressed that you have a cellar !! | |||
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"3 little words ... . . . . . . . . . . . . Ben & Jerry's " You fucking dirty bitch!!!! | |||
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"3 little words ... . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ben & Jerry's You fucking dirty bitch!!!!" | |||
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"I’ve just been football training & now I’ve got muddy balls " Time for a shower | |||
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"I’ve just been football training & now I’ve got muddy balls Time for a shower " Haha I’ll remember to turn my ‘shower cam’ on, I’ll send you the link | |||
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