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Talk dirty to me

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Go on then. Tell me something filthy!

(Non sexual answers preferred)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm currently scrubbing my cellar floor.

Please, don't all be envious of my glam life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've just pulled enough hair* out the plughole to make a merkin.

*not pubic hair

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've just pulled enough hair* out the plughole to make a merkin.

*not pubic hair"

Make it pubic

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm currently scrubbing my cellar floor.

Please, don't all be envious of my glam life "

On your hands and knees? Oooooft. Cinderella

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I ate a sweet that had broke the 5 second rule

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree

I haven’t showered in 7 weeks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dusting of my shoes for breakfast club tomorrow morning whilst waiting for FIFA to install after PS told me the disc was dirty

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I ate a sweet that had broke the 5 second rule "

Bro

I’d get tested if I were you.

Eat another one first though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I drink milk from the carton and put it back

I butter toast and then spread jam with the same knife leaving butter in the jam

I wash bottom to top if you don’t know why that’s wrong smh

But basically if you wash that why the dirty soap will run down on to you legs offectivly make washing your legs pointless

Also off these shour be taken with a grane off salty as I don’t do any off them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm currently scrubbing my cellar floor.

Please, don't all be envious of my glam life

On your hands and knees? Oooooft. Cinderella "

Where's my Prince charming?!

Currently channeling an ugly sister right now

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dusting of my shoes for breakfast club tomorrow morning whilst waiting for FIFA to install after PS told me the disc was dirty "

You finally got fifa 22?

Grim

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I ate a sweet that had broke the 5 second rule "

Heathen.

I like it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I haven’t showered in 7 weeks. "

In the words of J Hus

‘3 hours of sleep and I ain’t showered in weeks- I’m on my grind baby’. Or something like that.

Anyway, you win. Just nasty.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm currently scrubbing my cellar floor.

Please, don't all be envious of my glam life

On your hands and knees? Oooooft. Cinderella

Where's my Prince charming?!

Currently channeling an ugly sister right now "

No, the sisters didn’t lift a finger. You’re Cinderella. Filthy animal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve just been football training & now I’ve got muddy balls

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I drink milk from the carton and put it back

I butter toast and then spread jam with the same knife leaving butter in the jam

I wash bottom to top if you don’t know why that’s wrong smh

But basically if you wash that why the dirty soap will run down on to you legs offectivly make washing your legs pointless

Also off these shour be taken with a grane off salty as I don’t do any off them "

You’re such a wrongen. God I fucking want you right now

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’ve just been football training & now I’ve got muddy balls "

Did you play naked? I hope so

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

I’m fiddling in my ear with a cotton bud.

I love the smell but it doesn’t taste nice

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’m fiddling in my ear with a cotton bud.

I love the smell but it doesn’t taste nice"
not bad not bad. Try adding MSG.

Bellybutton tastes nicer by the way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve not brushed my teeth since 2015.

..wait, 20:15

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By *asual_WandererWoman
over a year ago

A spot you want me

This cream of tomato soup is slipping silkily down my throat

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’ve not brushed my teeth since 2015.

..wait, 20:15"

Had me in the first half there.

Second half was disappointing though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I ate a sweet that had broke the 5 second rule

Bro

I’d get tested if I were you.

Eat another one first though "

I dropped the packet and still ate them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dusting of my shoes for breakfast club tomorrow morning whilst waiting for FIFA to install after PS told me the disc was dirty

You finally got fifa 22?

Grim "

Secured it with Tesco club card points last year. This years points going towards Disney+ so I can watch she hulk twerk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m trying to get work done right now, but I can’t stop thinking about last week when we were 69’ing and your delicious juices were flowing into my mouth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I ate a sweet that had broke the 5 second rule

Heathen.

I like it. "

I didn’t say how far past the 5 second rule it was

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I drink milk from the carton and put it back

I butter toast and then spread jam with the same knife leaving butter in the jam

I wash bottom to top if you don’t know why that’s wrong smh

But basically if you wash that why the dirty soap will run down on to you legs offectivly make washing your legs pointless

Also off these shour be taken with a grane off salty as I don’t do any off them

You’re such a wrongen. God I fucking want you right now "

Ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My hands are covered in mashed avocado - I’m making a butternut squash chilli with homemade guacamole, homemade salsa, Mexican corn and soured cream

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I ate a sweet that had broke the 5 second rule

Bro

I’d get tested if I were you.

Eat another one first though

I dropped the packet and still ate them. "

God you’re fucking hot bro.

Did you lick the floor after?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dusting of my shoes for breakfast club tomorrow morning whilst waiting for FIFA to install after PS told me the disc was dirty

You finally got fifa 22?

Grim

Secured it with Tesco club card points last year. This years points going towards Disney+ so I can watch she hulk twerk "

You like green?

I hear it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’m trying to get work done right now, but I can’t stop thinking about last week when we were 69’ing and your delicious juices were flowing into my mouth."

I think I’m going to display this veri

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I ate a sweet that had broke the 5 second rule

Bro

I’d get tested if I were you.

Eat another one first though

I dropped the packet and still ate them.

God you’re fucking hot bro.

Did you lick the floor after? "

They were fruit pastilles and I spilled the sugar too and I may or may not have used my finger like a dip dab.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My hands are covered in mashed avocado - I’m making a butternut squash chilli with homemade guacamole, homemade salsa, Mexican corn and soured cream "

You’re pure filth!

Also, its quarter past 9! Have you not eaten yet?!

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By *o scandalousWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

I’ve done so many dishes today after the cooking session.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I ate a sweet that had broke the 5 second rule

Bro

I’d get tested if I were you.

Eat another one first though

I dropped the packet and still ate them.

God you’re fucking hot bro.

Did you lick the floor after?

They were fruit pastilles and I spilled the sugar too and I may or may not have used my finger like a dip dab."

Vegan sweets?

God. I’m pulsating for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just picked up a guinea pig poo with my bare fingers.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’ve done so many dishes today after the cooking session. "

Oooh same. Are your hands wrinkly?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive cleaned out a fridge full of rotting food left by a tenant. Not even my tenant, a friends. Mouldy fur coats on everything

Filthy enough?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once broke into and shat in a school cabin as revenge for detention

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I just picked up a guinea pig poo with my bare fingers."

Want me to lick them? God I want you Nell, please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I ate a sweet that had broke the 5 second rule

Bro

I’d get tested if I were you.

Eat another one first though

I dropped the packet and still ate them.

God you’re fucking hot bro.

Did you lick the floor after?

They were fruit pastilles and I spilled the sugar too and I may or may not have used my finger like a dip dab.

Vegan sweets?

God. I’m pulsating for you"

Only the black and red ones though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just picked up a guinea pig poo with my bare fingers.

Want me to lick them? God I want you Nell, please "

Shall I save you some "jelly beans" too?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve just been football training & now I’ve got muddy balls "

Can I interest you in a spit shine?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've just pulled enough hair* out the plughole to make a merkin.

*not pubic hair

Make it pubic "

I'm gluing it on with eyelash glue as we speak

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I fell down the garden & now I'm head to foot in mud

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My hands are covered in mashed avocado - I’m making a butternut squash chilli with homemade guacamole, homemade salsa, Mexican corn and soured cream

You’re pure filth!

Also, its quarter past 9! Have you not eaten yet?! "

This is early for me

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By *o scandalousWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

My cat has just done a stinker in his litter tray. Now I need to go scoop it and flush it.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I have loads of photos of dog shits in my gallery.

When I was dogsitting the other week one of them had the bloody runs so I was taking photos to keep track or show the vet if necessary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve just been football training & now I’ve got muddy balls

Can I interest you in a spit shine? "

Absolutely, you might need a big cloth as well

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree


"I haven’t showered in 7 weeks.

In the words of J Hus

‘3 hours of sleep and I ain’t showered in weeks- I’m on my grind baby’. Or something like that.

Anyway, you win. Just nasty. "

I’ve been in plaster . I have washed - very well. But I did stretch the truth just to win.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just enjoyed a lovely succulent peach, lapping up the sweet juices, was delicious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My hands are covered in mashed avocado - I’m making a butternut squash chilli with homemade guacamole, homemade salsa, Mexican corn and soured cream "

We are interviewing for a personal chef - jobs yours - uniform is what you are wearing in your profile picture

Now lick me corn hole and squash me butternuts with your guacamoles till me sour cream goes everywhere

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Beds (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

3 little words ...

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Ben & Jerry's

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By *ockforplay66Man
over a year ago

Southampton/isle of wight/ everywhere


"I'm currently scrubbing my cellar floor.

Please, don't all be envious of my glam life "

I am impressed that you have a cellar !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"3 little words ...

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.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Ben & Jerry's "

You fucking dirty bitch!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cadbury’s flake chocolate

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Beds (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)


"3 little words ...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Ben & Jerry's

You fucking dirty bitch!!!!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve just been football training & now I’ve got muddy balls "

Time for a shower

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’ve just been football training & now I’ve got muddy balls

Time for a shower "

Haha I’ll remember to turn my ‘shower cam’ on, I’ll send you the link

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