FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

She / They

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Firstly, I admit ignorance about the current pronoun debate, so I’m just asking my question in order to better understand, not from any viewpoint of judgment. I’m just wondering the reason for adding the “They” component to a “She/They” descriptor, and wanted to pick Fabbers’ brains

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Counter question - have you asked her/them?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

‘She/They’ - She is presently pregnant…?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Counter question - have you asked her/them?"

I’m out of my depth as it is , but want to understand

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As in why does a biological female describe themselves as a she/her?

I've assumed it to be a show of support for people's right to identify as they wish but I've never thought to ask.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This never ends well. Usually descends into a grumblepuddle about gender identification.

Use either the pronouns the person asks you to use or the pronoun you think is appropriate. No need to overthink it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

My assumption would be that they drift from femme to non binary and their gender identity is fluid.

For me personally it indicates they are a safe person to be around and that they understand the nuances of gender identity.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who the what now?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My assumption would be that they drift from femme to non binary and their gender identity is fluid.

For me personally it indicates they are a safe person to be around and that they understand the nuances of gender identity. "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This never ends well. Usually descends into a grumblepuddle about gender identification.

Use either the pronouns the person asks you to use or the pronoun you think is appropriate. No need to overthink it. "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK


"Firstly, I admit ignorance about the current pronoun debate, so I’m just asking my question in order to better understand, not from any viewpoint of judgment. I’m just wondering the reason for adding the “They” component to a “She/They” descriptor, and wanted to pick Fabbers’ brains"

In this particular case I’d wonder if it was a typo/autocorrect error and should actually be She/Them as typically it would work something like this (using myself as a He/Him as an example)…

“HE is a nice person, I like HIM”

Using They in this context doesn’t seem to work…

“SHE is a nice person, I like THEY”

Where as Them does seem more grammatically correct…

“SHE is a nice person, I like THEM”

Obviously it is best not to assume, but a friendly enquiry about how they’d like to be addressed shouldn’t cause offence, and would probably be welcomed

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My assumption would be that they drift from femme to non binary and their gender identity is fluid.

For me personally it indicates they are a safe person to be around and that they understand the nuances of gender identity. "

I have such a deficit of knowledge about all of these things. I don’t know what I don’t know, but it’s good to learn

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/09/22 13:30:36]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London


"My assumption would be that they drift from femme to non binary and their gender identity is fluid.

For me personally it indicates they are a safe person to be around and that they understand the nuances of gender identity.

I have such a deficit of knowledge about all of these things. I don’t know what I don’t know, but it’s good to learn"

I think you're approaching it in the right way. I'm non binary and don't see any issue with your approach. Your intention to understand from a non judgmental view is clear.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She/Her/Hers/They/Them/Theirs are all suitable for use when talking about the person you are referring to. Use whichever one is grammatically correct for the sentence you are using.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham


"Firstly, I admit ignorance about the current pronoun debate, so I’m just asking my question in order to better understand, not from any viewpoint of judgment. I’m just wondering the reason for adding the “They” component to a “She/They” descriptor, and wanted to pick Fabbers’ brains"

I believe it’s for someone that identifies as female/non-binary

But honestly, no idea

Instead I try to ask why it matters, instead of just why. And just use whatever they prefer

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Just refer to people how they prefer to be referred to. It's no skin off of anyone's nose to respect that person's choice

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London


"She/Her/Hers/They/Them/Theirs are all suitable for use when talking about the person you are referring to. Use whichever one is grammatically correct for the sentence you are using. "

unrelated but you're a hot list addition.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"She/Her/Hers/They/Them/Theirs are all suitable for use when talking about the person you are referring to. Use whichever one is grammatically correct for the sentence you are using.

unrelated but you're a hot list addition. "

Wish I could add you twice to our hotlist just for your Sasha Velour reference

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Counter question - have you asked her/them?

I’m out of my depth as it is , but want to understand"

But we won't know as well as they do

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London


"She/Her/Hers/They/Them/Theirs are all suitable for use when talking about the person you are referring to. Use whichever one is grammatically correct for the sentence you are using.

unrelated but you're a hot list addition.

Wish I could add you twice to our hotlist just for your Sasha Velour reference "

I like to think we're similar in look and vibe

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)


"My assumption would be that they drift from femme to non binary and their gender identity is fluid.

For me personally it indicates they are a safe person to be around and that they understand the nuances of gender identity. "

As a she/they ^^ this sums it up well.

On other sites I have my gender listed as genderqueer but that isn't an option here.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)


"Firstly, I admit ignorance about the current pronoun debate, so I’m just asking my question in order to better understand, not from any viewpoint of judgment. I’m just wondering the reason for adding the “They” component to a “She/They” descriptor, and wanted to pick Fabbers’ brains

In this particular case I’d wonder if it was a typo/autocorrect error and should actually be She/Them as typically it would work something like this (using myself as a He/Him as an example)…

“HE is a nice person, I like HIM”

Using They in this context doesn’t seem to work…

“SHE is a nice person, I like THEY”

Where as Them does seem more grammatically correct…

“SHE is a nice person, I like THEM”

Obviously it is best not to assume, but a friendly enquiry about how they’d like to be addressed shouldn’t cause offence, and would probably be welcomed"

It would be they are a nice person, I like them. As opposed to mixing pronouns.

The use of she/they is to highlight the fact that I use both sets of pronouns depending on here my headspace is... So She/her and they/them.

But I'm also happy no matter what pronouns someone uses for me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ichaelsmyMan
over a year ago

douglas


"‘She/They’ - She is presently pregnant…? "

Isn’t that how they are struggling to define a woman.

Devils advocate

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

My pronoun is “supreme leader” but no one apart from Google refers to me by it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We decide what pronouns to use when addressing a person.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK


"Firstly, I admit ignorance about the current pronoun debate, so I’m just asking my question in order to better understand, not from any viewpoint of judgment. I’m just wondering the reason for adding the “They” component to a “She/They” descriptor, and wanted to pick Fabbers’ brains

In this particular case I’d wonder if it was a typo/autocorrect error and should actually be She/Them as typically it would work something like this (using myself as a He/Him as an example)…

“HE is a nice person, I like HIM”

Using They in this context doesn’t seem to work…

“SHE is a nice person, I like THEY”

Where as Them does seem more grammatically correct…

“SHE is a nice person, I like THEM”

Obviously it is best not to assume, but a friendly enquiry about how they’d like to be addressed shouldn’t cause offence, and would probably be welcomed

It would be they are a nice person, I like them. As opposed to mixing pronouns.

The use of she/they is to highlight the fact that I use both sets of pronouns depending on here my headspace is... So She/her and they/them.

But I'm also happy no matter what pronouns someone uses for me. "

That actually makes more sense now. Thank you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK


"We decide what pronouns to use when addressing a person."

The pronouns that person would prefer I hope

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No idea and I'm unlikely to ask her/them as I can't be arsed with a lecture. I'll use whatever pronouns a person asks me to use, in the same way I'll use their actual name and not someone else's.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No idea and I'm unlikely to ask her/them as I can't be arsed with a lecture. I'll use whatever pronouns a person asks me to use, in the same way I'll use their actual name and not someone else's."

Ditto

Or sometimes I just use "Wench"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"We decide what pronouns to use when addressing a person."

It's up to them, not you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cba arsed to read all the other replies so sorry if this has been mentioned before. Maybe they are gender fluid. Depending on how they feel like identifying on any particular day they may want to be she or they.

Sorry if this isn’t worded correctly because I too am not educated on the subject but this seems like the most obvious answer to me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)


"Cba arsed to read all the other replies so sorry if this has been mentioned before. Maybe they are gender fluid. Depending on how they feel like identifying on any particular day they may want to be she or they.

Sorry if this isn’t worded correctly because I too am not educated on the subject but this seems like the most obvious answer to me."

It's individual but you're pretty much spot on

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just don’t care about your pronouns, it’s your issue..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just don’t care about your pronouns, it’s your issue.."

I get that.

But if someone was clear that they wanted to be addressed using pronouns which you would expect to use with the opposite sex, would you intentionally ignore that?

Genuinely curious btw, not looking for a rammy

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only use she/he her/him

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My only comment is that declaring pronouns is akin to coming out for folk and should only happen by individual choice.

Peer pressure, employer requirement or the likes of the stories reported where celebs demand it on set is truly not okay.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive not read all replies

But

My eldest is she/they. Born female. Doesn't always feel female, but doesnt feel male either.

If my child chooses she/they pronouns, thats is their choice and i honour it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just don’t care about your pronouns, it’s your issue..

I get that.

But if someone was clear that they wanted to be addressed using pronouns which you would expect to use with the opposite sex, would you intentionally ignore that?

Genuinely curious btw, not looking for a rammy "

Of course not, that would be rude, but don’t expect me to figure it out. If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, until it tells me it’s a gazelle, I will consider it a duck.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My only comment is that declaring pronouns is akin to coming out for folk and should only happen by individual choice.

Peer pressure, employer requirement or the likes of the stories reported where celebs demand it on set is truly not okay."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Firstly, I admit ignorance about the current pronoun debate, so I’m just asking my question in order to better understand, not from any viewpoint of judgment. I’m just wondering the reason for adding the “They” component to a “She/They” descriptor, and wanted to pick Fabbers’ brains"

I would assume it refers to non binary but I wouldn't ask them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top