FabSwingers.com forum: Its a joke here!

By *lut and sir OP Couple
over a year ago

Northampton

Thats right. You expected a bunch of ranting bull crap. But nope

Post your jokes here and make us laugh.

Its been a tough few weeks. And smiles need to be spread.

A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. Uno, dos... poof. He disappeared without a tres

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I recently found out I was adopted as a child by a guy called Daz

Turns out he's my non biological father ...

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By *lut and sir OP Couple
over a year ago

Northampton

"I recently found out I was adopted as a child by a guy called Daz

Turns out he's my non biological father ...

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By *rLothbrokMan
over a year ago

Lancs

I visited a friend at their new house. They told me to make myself at home, so I threw them out. I hate having visitors.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What kind of ghost has the best hearing?

The eeriest ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not mine one not really a joke just something that end up in my dms

What kind off toothpaste do you use

Please tell me it’s oral-b as that’s what I would like to give you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?

Roberto…

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

2 dyslexic’s in a kitchen one says to the other “ can you smell gas ? “ the other one says “ I can’t even smell my own name “.

The mr

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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago

Milton keynes

What did one butt cheek say to the other? Together, we can stop this crap

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By *limBobStretchedPantsMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

Did you know that the “teet” is the most common owl in the uk??

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By *urbo TedMan
over a year ago

Stansted

To the person who stole my copy or Microsoft Office. I will find you, you have my Word.

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By *lut and sir OP Couple
over a year ago

Northampton

I got hit in the head with a bottle of omega 3 the other day.

I was left with super-fish-oil wounds

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

What did the pirate say in his 80th birthday?

Aye matey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got mugged by 6 dwarves last night......not happy

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

What happens if someone slaps you at frequency?

It Hertz.

If they slap you at high frequency it mega hurtz

Posh people will only slap you once a second. One hertz.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I put a load of beans in my eyes to improve my visibility. In heinze sight it was a bad idea.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A cloud.

I'll get my coat...

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By *ozapperMan
over a year ago

Lancashire

[Removed by poster at 15/09/22 07:45:47]

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.

“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”

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By *ozapperMan
over a year ago

Lancashire

She was only the roadmender's daughter.. but she liked her asphalt

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By *innocentMan
over a year ago

Littlehampton

What do you get if you cross a pirate with a peadophile ?

Arrrrrgh Kelly

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By *lut and sir OP Couple
over a year ago

Northampton

Who built king Arther's round table?

Sir-cumfrence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why is everyone at the gym asking why I'm sitting on a stationary bike?

I'm going downhill ... none of your business!

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By *heSilverFox1701Man
over a year ago

Near Sleaford

The future, the present, and the past walk into a bar. Things got a little tense.

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By *lut and sir OP Couple
over a year ago

Northampton

Why is sex while camping so good?

Its fucking intents

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By *lut and sir OP Couple
over a year ago

Northampton

Why can you only ran through a camping round an not run?

Because its past-tents

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By *ryan...Man
over a year ago

1950's Original

Bloody Magistrates...just sentenced me to six months in Centre parcs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A priest, a pastor and rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic. The nurse asks the rabbit "What's your blood type?"

"I'm probably a Type O" replied the rabbit.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

What did Vera Lyn say when she went to the Eskimos for dinner

Whale meat, again.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Just heard a good one on the radio made me chuckle.

" I used to work in a kitchen but got fired for stealing kitchen equipment,I know it was a stupid thing to do but it was a whisk I was willing to take"

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I learned how to be a locksmith at Yale. It opened a lot of doors for me.

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By *lut and sir OP Couple
over a year ago

Northampton

I have 2 unwritten rules

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By *lut and sir OP Couple
over a year ago

Northampton

There are 2 types of people on fab, those who can extrapolate a joke from unfinished data

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are 2 types of people on fab, those who can extrapolate a joke from unfinished data"

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those that understand binary, and those that don't...

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By *aughty Couple ABCCouple
over a year ago

West Bromwich

Why was the dwarf laughing while he was walking?.....

.......because the grass was tickling his balls.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Heard this on the radio today

If you get locked out of your car, just rub your green trousers on the door , and you’ll get in, because they’re your car key trousers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guy walks into a Chinese restaurant, big Chinese waiter comes over and says " wa you want sir "

"I'll have the noodle soup" says the man

"OK sir, no pwablem"

5 minutes later the waiter brings over his soup

"Enjoy your soup sir" says the waiter.

After a few minutes the waiter looks over and sees the man running out the door, without hesitation the waiter legs it after him.

3 miles later he sees the man run into a brothel, right thinks the waiter, I've got you now.

He walks into the brothel and says to the lady at the front desk,

" where da man go"?

"Upstairs second door on the right" she says.

Big Chinese waiter stomps up the stairs, gets to the door and the door falls off its hinges, even the door is scared of this guy, he looks into the room and he sees the man with his head between this prostitutes legs, snarling at the buzby,

"Why you no pay for soup"? Says the waiter,

"Coz there was a fuckin hair in it" says the guy,

"But you got a mouthful of hair there" says the waiter,

" yeah " says the man, " and I find a noodle in here she ain't getting paid either!"

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By *jfrenchMan
over a year ago

Stockport

Did you hear about the bloke who got his knob chopped off at work???

When he eventually got home he gave the missus a right bollocking

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By *arrenandhisduckCouple
over a year ago

blackpool

Why can't a koala become a Dr?

Because he has no koalificiations

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've just been sacked! Me own fault though. The supervisor caught me with my cock in the potato peeler.

What's that? What did the do with the peeler?

Oh they sacked her as well

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By *lut and sir OP Couple
over a year ago

Northampton

What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal? A polar bear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the person who stole my anti depressants, I hope you're happy now.

Winston

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By *lut and sir OP Couple
over a year ago

Northampton

Did you hear about the shepherd who drove his sheep through town? He was given a ticket for making a ewe turn.

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By *arl192021Man
over a year ago

Northumberland

It's a sad day...my obese parrot died last night

I guess it's a weight of my shoulder

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By *ryan...Man
over a year ago

1950's Original

"I have 2 unwritten rules

2."

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By *hillyboy72Man
over a year ago

prestatyn

A German guy approaches a lady of the night.

'I vish to buy sex wit you.'

'OK,' says the girl, 'I charge 20 an hour.'

'..ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky.'

'No problem,' she replies cautiously, 'I can do little kinky.'

So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller. 'I vant zat you tie ze springs to each of your hans und knees.' The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs as he had said, to her hands and knees. 'Now you vill get on your hans und knees.'

She duly does this, balancing precariously on the springs.

'You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you.'

She finds it odd, but figures it's harmless (and the guy is paying.)

The sex is fantastic, as she is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller.

The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she has enough breath to say 'That was totally amazing, what do you call that position ?'

'Ah,' says the German 'dat is de Four-sprung Duck technique'

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

In though I live at house number 4, I wrote number 35 on my bin. So the binmen would leave it closer to my house.

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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago

the land of saints & sinners

The police knocked on my door last night.

Apparently my dog has been chasing someone on a bike.

I told them to bugger of as my dog doesn’t even own a bike.

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By *allen Angels CplCouple
over a year ago

North East leicestershire

What do politicians and cunnilingus have in common.......

One slip of the tongue and you could be in the SH1T!!!

I know but I never remember good jokes x

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By *hiskeyColaMan
over a year ago

Oswestry

"Thats right. You expected a bunch of ranting bull crap. But nope

Post your jokes here and make us laugh.

Its been a tough few weeks. And smiles need to be spread.

A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. Uno, dos... poof. He disappeared without a tres"

Tim Vine, right..?

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

A cow and a sheep are in different fields with a stream inbetween and a single wooden bridge crossing it. They decide to swap fields and meet each other on the bridge.

Moooooove over, says the cow.

Baaaaaalocks, replies the sheep.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What bees make milk ?

Boobees

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By *hiskeyColaMan
over a year ago

Oswestry

"A priest, a pastor and rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic. The nurse asks the rabbit "What's your blood type?"

"I'm probably a Type O" replied the rabbit."

Hahahaha!!!

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By *r Discreet 75Man
over a year ago

LIVERPOOL

"I recently found out I was adopted as a child by a guy called Daz

Turns out he's my non biological father ...

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By *hiskeyColaMan
over a year ago

Oswestry

My wife reckons that sex is always better on holiday.

Funny, I wasn't expecting to read that on her postcard from Greece..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two men walk into a bar

The third one ducked

Sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My wife reckons that sex is always better on holiday.

Funny, I wasn't expecting to read that on her postcard from Greece..

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By *hiskeyColaMan
over a year ago

Oswestry

"Why is sex while camping so good?

Its fucking intents"

Hahahaha!!

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By *hiskeyColaMan
over a year ago

Oswestry

"I got hit in the head with a bottle of omega 3 the other day.

I was left with super-fish-oil wounds"

Damn you're funny!! Stop it!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These two Eggs got married and that night the female egg was in the Ensuite getting herself ready ,she then opened the door to see the male egg on the bed wearing a crash helmet.." what's with the crash helmet ? " She said ..he replied " the last time l was this hard a person hit me over the head with a spoon "

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By *hiskeyColaMan
over a year ago

Oswestry

The adjective for Metal is Metallic.

But not so for Iron... which is ironic

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I saw a bloke trying to chat up a Cheetah once ..

I thought he's trying to pull a fast one

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By *andamoCouple
over a year ago

thornton heath

When I die I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather....

Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

(Bob Monkhouse)

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"I recently found out I was adopted as a child by a guy called Daz

Turns out he's my non biological father ...

Hahahaha

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By *andamoCouple
over a year ago

thornton heath

If you want to giggle until it hurts watch Joe Wilkinson's poem on countdown.

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By *ingdangTV/TS
over a year ago

manchester

I won’t be watching the queens funeral, why?

Because we still got plenty of queens left on fab!

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By *ryan...Man
over a year ago

1950's Original

I bought a chicken to make some sandwiches . ..

useless .. I had to make them all myself

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By *arneygumbleMan
over a year ago

Catcliffe

What did the penis say to the vagina?

Don't make me cum in here.

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