FabSwingers.com forum: Banter, what does that “look like” to you?

By *iss Maverick OP Woman
over a year ago

Porthcawl

“Banter”… since joining Fab, I’ve discovered there are so many interpretations of the word “Banter”, from what I consider to be utterly crass and linguistically inept, to intellectually stimulating.

For instance I had a nice chap say “when can I suck your baps?” and when he was met with silence told me that I “can’t take the banter love”… hmmm

So I’m intrigued; What does “banter” look like to you?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"“Banter”… since joining Fab, I’ve discovered there are so many interpretations of the word “Banter”, from what I consider to be utterly crass and linguistically inept, to intellectually stimulating.

For instance I had a nice chap say “when can I suck your baps?” and when he was met with silence told me that I “can’t take the banter love”… hmmm

So I’m intrigued; What does “banter” look like to you?

I've given up trying to recognise it, explain it or rationalise it.

It used to be harmless, obvious, jokey and witty chat between people you knew well.

These days just the vaguest use of the word runs the risk of connotations of bullying, abuse, piss taking, negative behaviour and generally a whole bunch of seriously unpopular responses.

It's not worth it anymore. Much safer to just carry on with whatever you were doing/saying and avoid using the 'b' word. Because no matter how innocent there's someone who will takes things said the wrong way and create a mountain from an obvious molehill.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

It’s not a word I’ve ever used to be honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s when I ask a lass when I can suck her baps.

Banter innit. Had birds that just go silent on me - they can’t take it.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

It's scottish for ' I'm crude, crass, think I'm funny as fuck and if you don't think the same you've got a stick up your arse '

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

For instance I had a nice chap say “when can I suck your baps?” and when he was met with silence told me that I “can’t take the banter love”… hmmm

So I’m intrigued; What does “banter” look like to you?

Seems to be used somewhat lazily as an excuse for clumsy or offensive comments. Or as away of saying stuff without consequencen, as it was "only banter mate". Fucking awful concept.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Banter is only banter if all Parties are in on it. I've seen it many times here where someone has dismissed their comments as banter and the person it is aimed at has said they didn't appreciate it, They have then been rounded on and things like I bet your fun at parties have been said. Banter is not a way of hiding rude and insulting behaviour.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

To me banter has always meant a witty and humorous exchange between equally matched people who understand each others humour. It seems to have evolved to mean dressing up extremely unpleasant bullying as jokes and humiliating the victim if they don't join in and take it

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

It’s not a word I would ever use myself.I think it should be kept between close friends who know each other very well .

Some people who treat others like shit will then say oh it’s only banter no it’s not your just acting like a cunt!..

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By *hil most chillMan
over a year ago

South East & Europe

People who go on about banter all the time usually ont know how to joke with people without causing offence, and even worse, usually aren't even funny

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

"To me banter has always meant a witty and humorous exchange between equally matched people who understand each others humour. It seems to have evolved to mean dressing up extremely unpleasant bullying as jokes and humiliating the victim if they don't join in and take it "

Again, on point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Banter” aka a cop out for being able to slag someone off buly someone or say something inappropriate to someone

And then cover there tracks by saying it’s only a joke it’s only banter no sorry it’s not maybe people shouldn’t say things in the first place

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

"It’s when I ask a lass when I can suck her baps.

Banter innit. Had birds that just go silent on me - they can’t take it.

Sorry that happened to you, BantsDerks.

Don't be discouraged, and may the Fab Bakers bless your banter with a dozen baps to... wait suck, hang on is this not a lunch thread?

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By *ad boy maverickMan
over a year ago

basildon

For instance I had a nice chap say “when can I suck your baps?” and when he was met with silence told me that I “can’t take the banter love”… hmmm

So I’m intrigued; What does “banter” look like to you?

I've given up trying to recognise it, explain it or rationalise it.

It used to be harmless, obvious, jokey and witty chat between people you knew well.

These days just the vaguest use of the word runs the risk of connotations of bullying, abuse, piss taking, negative behaviour and generally a whole bunch of seriously unpopular responses.

Spot on. If things get much worse women will be completely undated bless as the fear of being locked up won't be worth the agg.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say banter looks like Dapper Laughs.

No - probably more Bradley Walsh.

Wait! Got it. Chris and Kem from Love Island.

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By *ad boy maverickMan
over a year ago

basildon

Undatable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anti Black jokes. That’s the banter I’ve always known.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anti Black jokes. That’s the banter I’ve always known.

I’m being a bit race focused today on fab.

I should also mention that people always have been homophobic and misogynistic too and called it banter.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Usually found in the same bag as "be kind".

The old football analogy of a player with poor ball control who's second touch is a tackle as they try to retrieve a situation of their own making applies here.

"Just having the bants" is that second touch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our language and methods of communication were developed in a world where they were always used face to face. We now live in a world where they are regularly used digitally. Humour, teasing, irony, sarcasm are all difficult to get right in this new world.

That said, many people screw up banter irl as they're incapable of reading other people or new situations and make the all too common mistake of assuming everyone else thinks like them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Usually it's an exchange of blows between equally matched opponents aware of the game they play. Can it be savage, of course, but that's between those that play and their own amusement. It's hilarious catching the side eyes from people unawares.

Naturally, when looking for new opportunities for a chuckle, restraint and judgement might be prudent, but, if they're easily tilted at the gentle stuff it's obvious we won't get on.

Now, has the term been bastardised to reflect others attempts at humour, yup yup, but, like everything else, it's merely a form of active filtration. I don't see that as a bad thing, at all.

Profiles can say only so much, status updates and forum posts etc tend to reveal a lot more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No bants on this thread.

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

I actually love a bit of 'banter', as long as its good humoured and well intended

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By *iss Maverick OP Woman
over a year ago

Porthcawl

"It’s when I ask a lass when I can suck her baps.

Banter innit. Had birds that just go silent on me - they can’t take it.

loving the “bants” fml

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

David Brent in the office showed through comedy what was wrong with banter all those years ago, it's a shame thing's haven't moved on since then.

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By *iss Maverick OP Woman
over a year ago

Porthcawl

"It's scottish for ' I'm crude, crass, think I'm funny as fuck and if you don't think the same you've got a stick up your arse '

touché

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I actually love a bit of 'banter', as long as its good humoured and well intended"

I think you have hit the nail on the head there. However be only way of knowing someone's intentions is if you know the person well enough.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

I was at work and a female manager and a guy I work with said that BJs aren't sex...they are just "sexy bants".

Apparently Banter is any behaviour that is morally borderline and needs to be shrugged off.

It took over from "Shitz n Giggles" and will prob be superceded by some other inane colloquialism.

Hey hum

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By *iss Maverick OP Woman
over a year ago

Porthcawl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's scottish for ' I'm crude, crass, think I'm funny as fuck and if you don't think the same you've got a stick up your arse '

#fact

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By *iss Maverick OP Woman
over a year ago

Porthcawl

For instance I had a nice chap say “when can I suck your baps?” and when he was met with silence told me that I “can’t take the banter love”… hmmm

So I’m intrigued; What does “banter” look like to you?

Seems to be used somewhat lazily as an excuse for clumsy or offensive comments. Or as away of saying stuff without consequencen, as it was "only banter mate". Fucking awful concept. "
very true at times

I get that, It can totally be used as an excuse for Shitty behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To me, “Bants” is covering up not being particularly interesting or funny with volume.

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By *iss Maverick OP Woman
over a year ago

Porthcawl

For instance I had a nice chap say “when can I suck your baps?” and when he was met with silence told me that I “can’t take the banter love”… hmmm

So I’m intrigued; What does “banter” look like to you?

I've given up trying to recognise it, explain it or rationalise it.

It used to be harmless, obvious, jokey and witty chat between people you knew well.

These days just the vaguest use of the word runs the risk of connotations of bullying, abuse, piss taking, negative behaviour and generally a whole bunch of seriously unpopular responses.

Spot on. If things get much worse women will be completely undated bless as the fear of being locked up won't be worth the agg."
I’d like to think it’s not a “women” thing, that’s certainly not the case from my point of view.

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By *iss Maverick OP Woman
over a year ago

Porthcawl

"Anti Black jokes. That’s the banter I’ve always known.

"
this is quite sad actually, and I’m sorry that you experience this under the guise of “banter”.

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By *iss Maverick OP Woman
over a year ago

Porthcawl

"Usually it's an exchange of blows between equally matched opponents aware of the game they play. Can it be savage, of course, but that's between those that play and their own amusement. It's hilarious catching the side eyes from people unawares.

Naturally, when looking for new opportunities for a chuckle, restraint and judgement might be prudent, but, if they're easily tilted at the gentle stuff it's obvious we won't get on.

Now, has the term been bastardised to reflect others attempts at humour, yup yup, but, like everything else, it's merely a form of active filtration. I don't see that as a bad thing, at all.

Profiles can say only so much, status updates and forum posts etc tend to reveal a lot more.

"
very true and very eloquent.. I suppose the ability to “read the room” as well at the intended audience is applicable here..

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

"To me, “Bants” is covering up not being particularly interesting or funny with volume. "

Disagree totally. To me its witty repartee

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I take banter as gentle joshing or riffing on a common theme...not crass insulting one liners which impress no one and do not move a conversation forward

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

"I actually love a bit of 'banter', as long as its good humoured and well intended

I think you have hit the nail on the head there. However be only way of knowing someone's intentions is if you know the person well enough. "

Yep true. But if it was someone i didn't know so well and the 'banter' was not so light hearted and well intended, i wouldn't engage any further

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anti Black jokes. That’s the banter I’ve always known.

this is quite sad actually, and I’m sorry that you experience this under the guise of “banter”. "

You’d have loved Loughborough uni, honestly. Top banter lads

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By *onderstuff73mMan
over a year ago

Brum

For instance I had a nice chap say “when can I suck your baps?” and when he was met with silence told me that I “can’t take the banter love”… hmmm

So I’m intrigued; What does “banter” look like to you?

Banter appears to be a saying used when sexual advances fall flat on its arse….a get out of jail card! The same as my kids saying “it was just a joke” as they are getting told off for doing or saying something stupid.

Banter can only be applied when there’s a conversation between two or more people who all get the joke.

Banter is an excuse of a word.

Who’d like the soapbox next?

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By *mma29Couple
over a year ago

wirral

That's how I see it also.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

'Banter' appears to be an excuse when someone is being tedious. It's not to be confused with wit

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

"It's scottish for ' I'm crude, crass, think I'm funny as fuck and if you don't think the same you've got a stick up your arse '

I thought it was rhyming slang for "Tam o' Shanter"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Naturally, when looking for new opportunities for a chuckle, restraint and judgement might be prudent, but, if they're easily tilted at the gentle stuff it's obvious we won't get on.

Now, has the term been bastardised to reflect others attempts at humour, yup yup, but, like everything else, it's merely a form of active filtration. I don't see that as a bad thing, at all.

Profiles can say only so much, status updates and forum posts etc tend to reveal a lot more.

very true and very eloquent.. I suppose the ability to “read the room” as well at the intended audience is applicable here.. "

Is the ability to read the room helpful, of course, especially if you are aiming for the maximum appeal and adoration.

Maximum amusement, especially for oneself, has a totally different approach and has minimal need for it. Who wants to appease everyone at once, dreary stuff, if you're not careful you become the human equivalent of steamed rice, goes with most things, but rarely enjoyed alone.

I'd rather burn bridges that lead nowhere fast, to show me to the promised land quicker. Active filtration going both ways haha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say it's more piss-taking and teasing with your mates. You definitely need to know your audience though and the recipient of said banter must be able to give it back otherwise it's just bullying. That's my interpretation of it anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Banter - an excuse to make thinly veiled digs. 'It's the bants'- Shanter....shit banter - an excuse to bully

Hate the terms tbf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Banter is mutual light teasing and joking around. But has to be mutual and nothing offensive or out of line.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd say it's more piss-taking and teasing with your mates. You definitely need to know your audience though and the recipient of said banter must be able to give it back otherwise it's just bullying. That's my interpretation of it anyway

I agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would use the word to mean chitchat and good fun, basically to banter back and forth

I do see it used in less pleasant ways though

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By *iss Maverick OP Woman
over a year ago

Porthcawl

"'Banter' appears to be an excuse when someone is being tedious. It's not to be confused with wit

"
I must say I agree with this

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By *iss Maverick OP Woman
over a year ago

Porthcawl

Naturally, when looking for new opportunities for a chuckle, restraint and judgement might be prudent, but, if they're easily tilted at the gentle stuff it's obvious we won't get on.

Now, has the term been bastardised to reflect others attempts at humour, yup yup, but, like everything else, it's merely a form of active filtration. I don't see that as a bad thing, at all.

Profiles can say only so much, status updates and forum posts etc tend to reveal a lot more.

very true and very eloquent.. I suppose the ability to “read the room” as well at the intended audience is applicable here..

Is the ability to read the room helpful, of course, especially if you are aiming for the maximum appeal and adoration.

I'd rather burn bridges that lead nowhere fast, to show me to the promised land quicker. Active filtration going both ways haha. "
I agree, I suppose my comment “read the room” is more like saying that one should look at the environment, the context, the desired consequence and the subject (ie person/people) within that, and then approach/react/banter accordingly, rather than applying it in a generic masses way..

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

My idea of banter is a battle of witty comebacks to and fro. A bit of sass.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My idea of banter is a battle of witty comebacks to and fro. A bit of sass."

Says you, woman.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Love a bit of banter x

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Having a laugh. Not taking offence. No sinister back handed comments. That's banter to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Banter - an excuse to say something dumb/borderline offensive. I love playful dialogue, but in my experiance ‘banter’ is the fallback when someone has pushed too far.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"My idea of banter is a battle of witty comebacks to and fro. A bit of sass.

Says you, woman."

Armwrestle?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My idea of banter is a battle of witty comebacks to and fro. A bit of sass.

Says you, woman.

Armwrestle?"

Normal wrestle?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree, I suppose my comment “read the room” is more like saying that one should look at the environment, the context, the desired consequence and the subject (ie person/people) within that, and then approach/react/banter accordingly, rather than applying it in a generic masses way.. "

Quite right, that in itself describes the scattershot, copy and paste, throwing mud at the wall and seeing what sticks approach used by many.

Obviously it yields great results, hence your thread haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Banter - an excuse to say something dumb/borderline offensive. I love playful dialogue, but in my experiance ‘banter’ is the fallback when someone has pushed too far. "

I agree, I love banter but it's a shame that some people use the term as an excuse for being a dickhead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Banter is different with different people. I’ve worked with builders and Machanic sun the past, and the banter I had with them is different to what I cal ‘banter’ with someone I want to flirt with.

Flirty fun bs tee that’s none insulting is the best type for me, the type where everyone laughs along.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Banter is different with different people. I’ve worked with builders and Machanic sun the past, and the banter I had with them is different to what I cal ‘banter’ with someone I want to flirt with.

Flirty fun bs tee that’s none insulting is the best type for me, the type where everyone laughs along.

Isn't that just conversation.?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Flirty fun bs tee that’s none insulting is the best type for me, the type where everyone laughs along.

Isn't that just conversation.? "

Does your conversation make me laugh and want to buy you a beer?

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By *romagefraisWoman
over a year ago

Sunderland

I like a bit of banter, for me it's just taking the piss out of eachother back and forth for a laugh. My group of mates are canny brutal with eachother, but it's all in jest and we laugh it off. If you give it you've got to be able to take it otherwise you're just a bellend.

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