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Fifty Shades of Grey

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The missus bought a paperback

down Strachans, Saturday

I had a look into her bag

...'Twas Fifty Shades of Grey.

Well I just left her to it

At ten I went to bed,

And one hour later she appeared -

The sight filled me with dread....

In her left hand she held a rope,

And in her right a whip!

She threw them down upon the floor

And then began to strip.

Well, fifty years or so ago

I might have had a peek,

But Doris hasn't weathered well,

She's eighty-four next week.

Watching Doris bump and grind

Could not have been much grimmer,

Then things went from bad to worse

She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet

A couple of minutes later,

She put her teeth back in and said

That I must dominate her!

Now if you knew our Doris

You'd see just why I spluttered,

I'd spent two months in traction

From our last mad sex, I muttered.

She stood there nude, all naked like,

Bent forward just a bit...

So I thought - what the hell - stepped forward

And stood on her left tit!

Doris screamed, her teeth shot out,

My God, what had I done?

She moaned and groaned then shouted out

"Step on the other one!!"

Well readers, I can't tell no more

'Bout what occurred that day...

Suffice to stay, my jet black hair

Turned "Fifty Shades of Grey!"

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By *kywatcherMan
over a year ago

Southwick

Not new. Been posted multiple times on here. Try a forum search and you'll see

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By *ctavius StuntMan
over a year ago

london

I havnt read this book and have no intention of doing so either. I guess she must have flicked through it quick cos apparently nothing actually happens untill about 3 quaters of the way through. I love erotica but cant feckin stand anything main stream.

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By *eminiman61Man
over a year ago

mansfield

Great Im still in tears here

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By *he Original TTMan
over a year ago

Brackley, Northants


"Not new. Been posted multiple times on here. Try a forum search and you'll see "

So... you are saying people can only post something once and it's never to be posted again?? I had the same thing said when I posted this a couple of months back - couldn't find it on the forum search, and it depends what the thread title is!

There will be people who haven't seen this before, and some will gain amusement from it second, third or fourth time around.

Be nice and try welcoming, and by all means mention that it's been posted before - nicely!

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By *eminiman61Man
over a year ago

mansfield

Ive not seen it before so a big thanx from me.....

Ive just told it to my ex fb and she loved it.....

Keep up the good work..... I know alot of ppl are sick of 50 shades but if thos dont make ppl lol theyve had a humour bypass

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i hadn't read it b4 either - so thank you xxx

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By *kywatcherMan
over a year ago

Southwick


"Not new. Been posted multiple times on here. Try a forum search and you'll see

So... you are saying people can only post something once and it's never to be posted again?? I had the same thing said when I posted this a couple of months back - couldn't find it on the forum search, and it depends what the thread title is!

There will be people who haven't seen this before, and some will gain amusement from it second, third or fourth time around.

Be nice and try welcoming, and by all means mention that it's been posted before - nicely! "
Yes sir

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've read it on here a few times but still.makes me giggle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not new. Been posted multiple times on here. Try a forum search and you'll see

So... you are saying people can only post something once and it's never to be posted again?? I had the same thing said when I posted this a couple of months back - couldn't find it on the forum search, and it depends what the thread title is!

There will be people who haven't seen this before, and some will gain amusement from it second, third or fourth time around.

Be nice and try welcoming, and by all means mention that it's been posted before - nicely! Yes sir "

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By *lassic1Man
over a year ago

bellshill

Never saw it before and thanks it made me laugh.....that sad fellow was prob trawling the forums waiting for somebody to post it again..then have his moment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *kywatcherMan
over a year ago

Southwick


"Never saw it before and thanks it made me laugh.....that sad fellow was prob trawling the forums waiting for somebody to post it again..then have his moment. "
I have no doubt that it appealed to your intelligence as limited as it is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not new. Been posted multiple times on here. Try a forum search and you'll see "

What is it with these post fascists?

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Ok the point has been made,no need to drag it out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok the point has been made,no need to drag it out"

True...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apologies handyman

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By *kywatcherMan
over a year ago

Southwick


"Apologies handyman"
What are you apologising for?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Apologies handyman What are you apologising for?"

Called you a post fascist...bit uncalled for

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By *kywatcherMan
over a year ago

Southwick


"Apologies handyman What are you apologising for?

Called you a post fascist...bit uncalled for"
Thank you..apology accepted

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