FabSwingers.com forum: Both liking a couple dilemma

By *ew Adventures 75 OP Couple
over a year ago

croydon

So as a couple looking for a full swops/same rooms ect !! How on earth do you get past the she is nice … he isn’t for me or visa versa thing

Not like we are oil paintings (mr deffo the better looking one ) but I like to meet people and get to know them and then might find them attractive once I know them but not always that easy on here hey !!!

Anyone just take one for the team !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always take one for the team always down for being a team player

Sorry op I couldn’t resist

On a serious note yes it can be hard for both to find a couple suitable for both

Clubs and socials can be a grate start x

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By *ew Adventures 75 OP Couple
over a year ago

croydon

Ha ha touché !!!

Yes we tried Brighton a few weeks ago and thinking Pleasures next …..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I’m not part of a couple, but a couple I met once told me about their traffic light system for socials.

Both had a little code word for red, amber or green for when they met couples and exactly this situation:

Red: Not compatible - don’t want to meet

Amber: They’re ok, not amazing but can live with having sex

Green : Definitely keen on meeting them for sex

Any reds from either party: not taken any further.

Two greens obviously is a goer.

One green, one amber - the green person had the final say depending on how much they liked the third party.

I think it’s a good system. Worked for them anyway, obviously might not be suitable for all!

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Looks aren't everything..have a chat..you maybe pleasantly surprised...agree a secret go-no go code beforehand

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By *ew Adventures 75 OP Couple
over a year ago

croydon

Ohhhhh I like this !!! We tried a “ok” and “alright” for yes and no but it got confusing

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"Well I’m not part of a couple, but a couple I met once told me about their traffic light system for socials.

Both had a little code word for red, amber or green for when they met couples and exactly this situation:

Red: Not compatible - don’t want to meet

Amber: They’re ok, not amazing but can live with having sex

Green : Definitely keen on meeting them for sex

Any reds from either party: not taken any further.

Two greens obviously is a goer.

One green, one amber - the green person had the final say depending on how much they liked the third party.

I think it’s a good system. Worked for them anyway, obviously might not be suitable for all!"

Or what he said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ha ha touché !!!

Yes we tried Brighton a few weeks ago and thinking Pleasures next ….. "

Definitely think that’s the best way to go for couples looking for couples that way use can get a sens off them before hand x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's always really difficult to get the dynamic right particularly when it's 2 couples. It can and does happen though just takes time and patience.

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By *ew Adventures 75 OP Couple
over a year ago

croydon

Dam I knew I was missing something … patience isn’t my thing ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well I’m not part of a couple, but a couple I met once told me about their traffic light system for socials.

Both had a little code word for red, amber or green for when they met couples and exactly this situation:

Red: Not compatible - don’t want to meet

Amber: They’re ok, not amazing but can live with having sex

Green : Definitely keen on meeting them for sex

Any reds from either party: not taken any further.

Two greens obviously is a goer.

One green, one amber - the green person had the final say depending on how much they liked the third party.

I think it’s a good system. Worked for them anyway, obviously might not be suitable for all!

Or what he said

For the life of me I can’t remember what 2 ambers were though… maybe they had a few more drinks and re-scored?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Don't take one for the team. How awful to be the person you were just fucking so your partner could get what they wanted, I'd hate it to be me

If you don't all find each other attractive don't meet.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Well I’m not part of a couple, but a couple I met once told me about their traffic light system for socials.

Both had a little code word for red, amber or green for when they met couples and exactly this situation:

Red: Not compatible - don’t want to meet

Amber: They’re ok, not amazing but can live with having sex

Green : Definitely keen on meeting them for sex

Any reds from either party: not taken any further.

Two greens obviously is a goer.

One green, one amber - the green person had the final say depending on how much they liked the third party.

I think it’s a good system. Worked for them anyway, obviously might not be suitable for all!"

There's an app for it..

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Never take one for the team it's just not hot.

We generally send a text when one goes to the toilet, yes or no, saves any awkwardness

Mrs

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We meet socially only, make it clear that we will discuss when we get home then let the people we've met know if we want to take things further. They also have the opportunity to consider if they want to meet us again

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I would be horrified if I was the cause if then taking I've fur the team. Its so not fair on that person so walk away if you are not into both of them.

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

"Don't take one for the team. How awful to be the person you were just fucking so your partner could get what they wanted, I'd hate it to be me

If you don't all find each other attractive don't meet. "

This is the only way.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I would be horrified if I was the cause if then taking I've fur the team. Its so not fair on that person so walk away if you are not into both of them. "

We met a couple where it was obvious that the guy wanted nothing to do with me. It's very unkind

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By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

If we meet a couple that one of us is not attracted to but we enjoy their company, we still socialise with them and invite them to parties etc. and with other people around there’s a chance they’ll meet people they gel with.

We don’t take one for the team.

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By *lex.and.SexCouple
over a year ago

Bedale

We don't generally take one for the team, but that doesn't mean that attraction is always equally balanced.

We have a minimum threshold that we need to have met, but we will happily play on that threshold for one of the parties if the other really floats the others boat.

You could call that taking one for the team I suppose, but we simply see it as being pragmatic. If the threshold isn't met we just don't play, no matter how much the other party might love to

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

How about you both wear rings ..depending on which finger you place them..or which hand ..could be a code

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

Never take one for the team .Yes it’s hard for us as we’re both bi and have slightly different tastes but once we meet the right couple it’s worth the wait .

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If you want to speak to your partner just say

"We'd like a five minute private chat"

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Don't take one for the team. How awful to be the person you were just fucking so your partner could get what they wanted, I'd hate it to be me

If you don't all find each other attractive don't meet. "

This.

It's why contrary to popular belief couples looking for other couples generally have it much harder on here than single men.

There are 4 people that need to be interested/attracted rather than just 2 or 3.

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By *ew Adventures 75 OP Couple
over a year ago

croydon

Great idea !!! Thank you

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

"Great idea !!! Thank you "
Press reply and quote so people will know who your replying to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes such a flipping nightmare, but we do manage it as I dare say others do. No one is going to have sex with someone for the sake of it just because we’re all swingers

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"If you want to speak to your partner just say

"We'd like a five minute private chat"

There's the old means no... Lemonade means yes code too.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"Don't take one for the team. How awful to be the person you were just fucking so your partner could get what they wanted, I'd hate it to be me

If you don't all find each other attractive don't meet.

This.

It's why contrary to popular belief couples looking for other couples generally have it much harder on here than single men.

There are 4 people that need to be interested/attracted rather than just 2 or 3.

Completely agree, hence not breaking our couple swap virginity yet, it's hard to find 4 way attraction.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes such a flipping nightmare, but we do manage it as I dare say others do. No one is going to have sex with someone for the sake of it just because we’re all swingers "

Sometimes I think that's the problem though as that is what some individuals and couples expect. Sometimes it's almost like your a swinger I'm a swinger so let's have sex.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I think an element of give and take is required

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"If you want to speak to your partner just say

"We'd like a five minute private chat"

There's the old means no... Lemonade means yes code too. "

Yep.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Example number 3864 of why I wouldn’t meet couples alone or with my partner.

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By *ew Adventures 75 OP Couple
over a year ago

croydon

"Great idea !!! Thank you "

I thought I had sorry !!

About the only meet for a social and go and meet again if you want to go further ….

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

We have like subtle hand gestures we use for any occasion

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

We're just patient. Life is too short to feel obligated to have sex with somebody you don't want to.

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By *ewCoupleHXCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

That red amber green system works for us and we are a bit mean at times, if any of us has an amber then we wait to see if we get all greens if not then we go and pick our ambers. Any reds and it is a straight no.

Little bit of lowering expectations is fine but absolutely no taking one for the team.

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By *ew Adventures 75 OP Couple
over a year ago

croydon

We have just booked our first night at pleasures for this coming Saturday so let’s see how face to face goes ……. So nervous, but very excited lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So high when I think about the poster who will post under me

Hopefully it will be a nice hairy minge owner !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So high when I think about the poster who will post under me

Hopefully it will be a nice hairy minge owner ! "

Fucking wrong thread sorry.

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By *ister CMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"So high when I think about the poster who will post under me

Hopefully it will be a nice hairy minge owner !

Fucking wrong thread sorry. "

Why is there not an hysterical laughing emoji!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So high when I think about the poster who will post under me

Hopefully it will be a nice hairy minge owner !

Fucking wrong thread sorry.

Why is there not an hysterical laughing emoji! "

Because this time it is true !

Thought it was the horny thread or something like that

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By *JstarsoloWoman
over a year ago

Wombwell, Barnsley

I once took one for the team when I paired with a friend to meet a couple. My friend definitely had a much better time than me. And I felt short changed. Never again. Don't sell yourself short.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From the single guys POV, when I have met couples before after the social/chatting for a bit i tend to excuse myself for a few moments (get some water, use the bathroom etc) to give the couple a few minutes alone to talk and decide.

So far I have always come back and play has started pretty quickly so I assume they used the opportunity!

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

We haven’t met many couples due to how hard a four way attraction can be. Whilst I’m straight, the guys still have to get on.

We both have the same taste in women and I pretty much know C’s type in guys, so we virtually know when we meet whether there’s interest or not.

We have tended to play with singles more as it’s much more easier to get the connections right.

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By *ew Adventures 75 OP Couple
over a year ago

croydon

"We haven’t met many couples due to how hard a four way attraction can be. Whilst I’m straight, the guys still have to get on.

We both have the same taste in women and I pretty much know C’s type in guys, so we virtually know when we meet whether there’s interest or not.

Yes this may be the way forward !! Although we will see how the club thing goes for us Saturday !! I have heard great things about Pleasures !!

We have tended to play with singles more as it’s much more easier to get the connections right.

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By *ew Adventures 75 OP Couple
over a year ago

croydon

"We haven’t met many couples due to how hard a four way attraction can be. Whilst I’m straight, the guys still have to get on.

We both have the same taste in women and I pretty much know C’s type in guys, so we virtually know when we meet whether there’s interest or not.

Yes this may be the way forward !! Although we will see how the club thing goes for us Saturday !! I have heard great things about Pleasures !!

We have tended to play with singles more as it’s much more easier to get the connections right.

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