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Unread messages?

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By *r. E! OP   Man
over a year ago

Grantham

As many profiles get inundated with possibly hundreds of messages, how many times would it be acceptable to message the same profile. As it’s hard to tell if you’ve just been ignored or it’s got lost in the ether that is their inbox?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you have sent a message and not received a response personally I wouldn't send another one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The classic dilemma for the single man this, isn’t it?

The standard advice is no reply means not interested.

But then some ladies / couples get inundated and can’t read every message they get.

If it’s deleted - then the message is clear, not interested.

But unread? Have they seen it and ignored it? Or simply missed it? Repeatedly messaging is frowned upon obviously, but what if they just haven’t seen your message?

Ooh what to do!?

Bookmarking

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I’d say twice if you really liked them. If they’re lazy like me and often bulk delete they may see it the second time and respond. Maybe not straight away though. Leave it a while x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’d say twice if you really liked them. If they’re lazy like me and often bulk delete they may see it the second time and respond. Maybe not straight away though. Leave it a while x"

THIS!

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham


"As many profiles get inundated with possibly hundreds of messages, how many times would it be acceptable to message the same profile. As it’s hard to tell if you’ve just been ignored or it’s got lost in the ether that is their inbox?"

That’s why I stopped messaging and just wink. Make it clear in my profile I don’t message for this very reason, and let winks do the work

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By *r SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle


"I’d say twice if you really liked them. If they’re lazy like me and often bulk delete they may see it the second time and respond. Maybe not straight away though. Leave it a while x"

I’ll send my amazing work of art message to you again then shall I?

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"As many profiles get inundated with possibly hundreds of messages, how many times would it be acceptable to message the same profile. As it’s hard to tell if you’ve just been ignored or it’s got lost in the ether that is their inbox?

That’s why I stopped messaging and just wink. Make it clear in my profile I don’t message for this very reason, and let winks do the work"

See I never look at those. I keep thinking maybe I will though. But then I forget

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I’d say twice if you really liked them. If they’re lazy like me and often bulk delete they may see it the second time and respond. Maybe not straight away though. Leave it a while x

I’ll send my amazing work of art message to you again then shall I? "

Haha I do skim for messages from folk I know. Although I may miss them sometimes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The classic dilemma for the single man this, isn’t it?

The standard advice is no reply means not interested.

But then some ladies / couples get inundated and can’t read every message they get.

If it’s deleted - then the message is clear, not interested.

But unread? Have they seen it and ignored it? Or simply missed it? Repeatedly messaging is frowned upon obviously, but what if they just haven’t seen your message?

Ooh what to do!?

Bookmarking "

I think it's a bit of a fallacy that most ladies and couples get so many messages they can't deal with. Some profiles yes absolutely but for me personally I delete a message or leave it unread because I can't be bothered to deal with it or reply or I don't want to. It's not because I get too many I can't and don't see them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only ever send one initial message .

If there is no come back I NEVER follow it up and simply move on.

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By *ociable-NottmCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Some profile’s do mention about missed messages & feel free to send again if that’s the case try again, ultimately if you don’t see this in a profile and you haven’t received a response it’s a no

Mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We tend to delete one liners and pornoesque fantasy messages. Well written but unsuitable messages usually get a thanks but no thanks reply.

If the same unsuitable profile messages us repeatedly we then have no option other than to block them.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham


"The classic dilemma for the single man this, isn’t it?

The standard advice is no reply means not interested.

But then some ladies / couples get inundated and can’t read every message they get.

If it’s deleted - then the message is clear, not interested.

But unread? Have they seen it and ignored it? Or simply missed it? Repeatedly messaging is frowned upon obviously, but what if they just haven’t seen your message?

Ooh what to do!?

Bookmarking

I think it's a bit of a fallacy that most ladies and couples get so many messages they can't deal with. Some profiles yes absolutely but for me personally I delete a message or leave it unread because I can't be bothered to deal with it or reply or I don't want to. It's not because I get too many I can't and don't see them. "

Do you feel that by purposely leaving it unread yoir making it hard for guts to decipher what’s happened?

A deleted message is a clear “no Thankyou”

Unopened leaves room for other possibilities

If you delete it and that message again, they are completely in the wrong

If it’s unopened, I can see why they might assume it’s been missed and message again

Do we all want to be as clear as possible with our intentions on here? Or no?

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By *ingle ex cuckMan
over a year ago

chester

A female on here was asking for something that I was willing to give and I messaged her

She never opened it

Later reading her status she was frustrated she only got time wasters

And asked again

It became clear my message had simply been swallowed up and lost

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The classic dilemma for the single man this, isn’t it?

The standard advice is no reply means not interested.

But then some ladies / couples get inundated and can’t read every message they get.

If it’s deleted - then the message is clear, not interested.

But unread? Have they seen it and ignored it? Or simply missed it? Repeatedly messaging is frowned upon obviously, but what if they just haven’t seen your message?

Ooh what to do!?

Bookmarking

I think it's a bit of a fallacy that most ladies and couples get so many messages they can't deal with. Some profiles yes absolutely but for me personally I delete a message or leave it unread because I can't be bothered to deal with it or reply or I don't want to. It's not because I get too many I can't and don't see them.

Do you feel that by purposely leaving it unread yoir making it hard for guts to decipher what’s happened?

A deleted message is a clear “no Thankyou”

Unopened leaves room for other possibilities

If you delete it and that message again, they are completely in the wrong

If it’s unopened, I can see why they might assume it’s been missed and message again

Do we all want to be as clear as possible with our intentions on here? Or no? "

Not at all as I have no obligation to read any messages and how I manage my account and my inbox is on me.

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle

I would suggest to give it a week or so and send one further message, but would also include something along the lines of ‘just in case my last message got missed…’ No more messages after that though

If your message has been read and deleted, definitely don’t bother messaging again

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

I don’t message as I don’t want my PM’s shared on 3rd party messaging platforms

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I'd leave it a good 6 months

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I've started blocking and moving on ...not wishing to make the same mistake again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would suggest to give it a week or so and send one further message, but would also include something along the lines of ‘just in case my last message got missed…’ No more messages after that though

If your message has been read and deleted, definitely don’t bother messaging again "

^ this. Close the thread!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t message as I don’t want my PM’s shared on 3rd party messaging platforms "

The off site Kik and Telegram groups? Wise. Very wise!

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North


"I don’t message as I don’t want my PM’s shared on 3rd party messaging platforms

The off site Kik and Telegram groups? Wise. Very wise! "

^^ this

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham


"The classic dilemma for the single man this, isn’t it?

The standard advice is no reply means not interested.

But then some ladies / couples get inundated and can’t read every message they get.

If it’s deleted - then the message is clear, not interested.

But unread? Have they seen it and ignored it? Or simply missed it? Repeatedly messaging is frowned upon obviously, but what if they just haven’t seen your message?

Ooh what to do!?

Bookmarking

I think it's a bit of a fallacy that most ladies and couples get so many messages they can't deal with. Some profiles yes absolutely but for me personally I delete a message or leave it unread because I can't be bothered to deal with it or reply or I don't want to. It's not because I get too many I can't and don't see them.

Do you feel that by purposely leaving it unread yoir making it hard for guts to decipher what’s happened?

A deleted message is a clear “no Thankyou”

Unopened leaves room for other possibilities

If you delete it and that message again, they are completely in the wrong

If it’s unopened, I can see why they might assume it’s been missed and message again

Do we all want to be as clear as possible with our intentions on here? Or no?

Not at all as I have no obligation to read any messages and how I manage my account and my inbox is on me. "

We have no obligation to anything really. No one is obligated to be polite on here, but we would hope so

I’d hope people are clear with their intentions on here. And purposely not deleting a message you’ve seen but aren’t interested in is making those intentions less clear

Much like being polite, I think being clear on intentions makes the site better, so I try to do that.

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle


"I would suggest to give it a week or so and send one further message, but would also include something along the lines of ‘just in case my last message got missed…’ No more messages after that though

If your message has been read and deleted, definitely don’t bother messaging again

^ this. Close the thread! "

I give good advice!

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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago

Boo's World

Couple of times , make it a decent message that stands out as well.

Once you've got a ridiculous amount of message sat unread it's easier to delete and start again so most of the time it's not intentional to ignore people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would suggest to give it a week or so and send one further message, but would also include something along the lines of ‘just in case my last message got missed…’ No more messages after that though

If your message has been read and deleted, definitely don’t bother messaging again "

This seems really sensible to be. Ive had some guys send strings of messages. 6+ sometimes. Sometimes in quite short spans of time too, getting more and more frustrated despite the fact i wasn't even online at the time.

It just comes across as pushy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The classic dilemma for the single man this, isn’t it?

The standard advice is no reply means not interested.

But then some ladies / couples get inundated and can’t read every message they get.

If it’s deleted - then the message is clear, not interested.

But unread? Have they seen it and ignored it? Or simply missed it? Repeatedly messaging is frowned upon obviously, but what if they just haven’t seen your message?

Ooh what to do!?

Bookmarking

I think it's a bit of a fallacy that most ladies and couples get so many messages they can't deal with. Some profiles yes absolutely but for me personally I delete a message or leave it unread because I can't be bothered to deal with it or reply or I don't want to. It's not because I get too many I can't and don't see them. "

Me too! I could easily read them all, and probably reply.

I just can't be arsed.

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle


"I would suggest to give it a week or so and send one further message, but would also include something along the lines of ‘just in case my last message got missed…’ No more messages after that though

If your message has been read and deleted, definitely don’t bother messaging again

This seems really sensible to be. Ive had some guys send strings of messages. 6+ sometimes. Sometimes in quite short spans of time too, getting more and more frustrated despite the fact i wasn't even online at the time.

It just comes across as pushy. "

Yeah, same. I never mind one message and a follow up a while later, but it’s when they send multiple strings of messages or seem to be watching and waiting for you to read their messages and send another one straight away when you don’t reply - then they get a nice block instead

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By *enelope2UWoman
over a year ago

Fife


"As many profiles get inundated with possibly hundreds of messages, how many times would it be acceptable to message the same profile. As it’s hard to tell if you’ve just been ignored or it’s got lost in the ether that is their inbox?"

If I do t want the message or person messaging I block them.. I get a lot max limits amounts so I miss some and it's not personal sometimes it's one line messages from a lot of one line people so I bulk delete rather than individual delete.

So I'd say message again

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By *enelope2UWoman
over a year ago

Fife


"Couple of times , make it a decent message that stands out as well.

Once you've got a ridiculous amount of message sat unread it's easier to delete and start again so most of the time it's not intentional to ignore people "

Exactly this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes it can get lost and I'm guilty of bulk deleting so I can miss messages. But on the whole if you message twice and get no response, take that as a no and move on.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

If and only if the original was unread- message once a week.

Just keep sending the same message.

If they get fed up they can always block you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I messaged someone last night and according to their profile they had messaged me 7 months ago

I would say situations are changing all the time

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny


"I messaged someone last night and according to their profile they had messaged me 7 months ago

I would say situations are changing all the time"

Damn… only 3 months ago

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By *urora1912Woman
over a year ago

Norfolk East anglia

I don't get alot of messages but will delete those I'm not interested in and only reply to those I am

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would suggest to give it a week or so and send one further message, but would also include something along the lines of ‘just in case my last message got missed…’ No more messages after that though

If your message has been read and deleted, definitely don’t bother messaging again "

Defined this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funnily enough this was a shower thought for me this morning. Do women even know that if you message someone and don’t get a reply, the site warns you against repeat messages? Obviously most men see this on a regular basis. If it’s someone I already chat to I tend to ignore it as I expect they have a lot of messages and may not have seen it yet. If I have misjudged it, well they have a block button..

If it’s a first message and they don’t reply I tend to leave them alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’d say twice if you really liked them. If they’re lazy like me and often bulk delete they may see it the second time and respond. Maybe not straight away though. Leave it a while x"

This as one of ladies I message who lives miles away she often bulk deletes and puts the bulk delete in her status, I am thankful for her replying when my message gets read, even if she is busy with hundreds more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just keep firing them more and more and more…. I’d say at the very least 1 per day. Maybe up it to 2/3 at the weekends as they might not be working so therefore would have more time to spend on fab answering messages. It’s the law of averages right more you send the more likely they’ll respond?

Hope this works for you buddy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Me too! I could easily read them all, and probably reply.

I just can't be arsed. "

Not funny.... maybe a bit.

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By *r. E! OP   Man
over a year ago

Grantham

Cheers everyone, thanks for advice

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By *asycouple1971Couple
over a year ago

midlands

We have a few that always message us after we told them no or said we will think about meeting them.

We dont reply or read their other messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As many profiles get inundated with possibly hundreds of messages, how many times would it be acceptable to message the same profile. As it’s hard to tell if you’ve just been ignored or it’s got lost in the ether that is their inbox?"

What? I'm supposed to message them?????

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Would send at least another as womens inboxes do get busy I currently have 1278 unread! Don't know if there is a gem in there somewhere! X

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"As many profiles get inundated with possibly hundreds of messages, how many times would it be acceptable to message the same profile. As it’s hard to tell if you’ve just been ignored or it’s got lost in the ether that is their inbox?"

Someone sent us a message the other week asking to meet, despite the contents of the first paragraph in our profile.

A few other similar messages from others followed.

I put a status up asking if we'd accidentally used invisible ink in our profile text.

The first guy then messaged again to apologise for not reading our profile.

He's message twice since.

We've never replied.

So I'd say message once. No reply doesn't change that. Message again and run the risk of pissing someone off.

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing worse when you're inbox is clogged up

And someone thinks oh they've missed my message, their inbox must be full. Oh I know I'll send another message to make their inbox even more full

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As many profiles get inundated with possibly hundreds of messages, how many times would it be acceptable to message the same profile. As it’s hard to tell if you’ve just been ignored or it’s got lost in the ether that is their inbox?

That’s why I stopped messaging and just wink. Make it clear in my profile I don’t message for this very reason, and let winks do the work

See I never look at those. I keep thinking maybe I will though. But then I forget "

Nope never look at winks or friends requests

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By *hiskeyColaMan
over a year ago

Oswestry

I say don't ever allow anyone to treat you in an off-hand way. Whether through their laziness, or because they are spoiled for choice, or for any other "reason". All you have is your dignity, brother! Never sacrifice that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does Fab tell you to not message again if you’ve already messaged? If so, that’s good advice to follow.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I think it's more a case of what frequency you do it at. Messages can be unseen and caught up in a bulk delete even if it's from somebody the recipient would like, so I can conceive of circumstances where trying again can be appropriate.

I would say that waiting six months before trying again wouldn't class as harassing somebody. There's no point in sending one a week later because the recipient is likely to have enough messages in general.

Just be respectful. If you have read a profile, think you are a good match and can write a decent message (these criteria don't apply to most people though!) then send a follow-up a few months later. At least, that wouldn't bother us.

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