FabSwingers.com forum: Tips for heartbreak

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah I know I know, "this is a sex site"....

But I'm licking my wounds after a pretty horrific break up. Apart from the obvious suggestion, what tips do you have to get over someone?

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By *ister CMan
over a year ago

liverpool

It takes half the time the relationship lasted to get over them...

In general.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wish I new

But don’t hurt to got on 4-5 new ones while trying to figure that out

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By *iss MaverickWoman
over a year ago

Porthcawl

"It takes half the time the relationship lasted to get over them...

In general."
wow really? Where’s that stat from?

Possibly true for longer relationships. Intrigued.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots and lots of sex

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Takes time, ride it out.

Hurts like fuck, and then eventually it doesn't.

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By *iss MaverickWoman
over a year ago

Porthcawl

"Yeah I know I know, "this is a sex site"....

But I'm licking my wounds after a pretty horrific break up. Apart from the obvious suggestion, what tips do you have to get over someone? "

No massive advice other than to delete and block them on everything (just initially whilst the emotion settles). Try to remove all physical emotional ties, pictures, belongings etc.

spend time with your emotion and lots of self care. Cry, be angry, be resentful, be all of those emotions.

Go for long walks where you can just “be”, spend time alone, spend time with friends. Cope. And sooner or later, you’ll feel a bit better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It just takes time. Lots of self care. Look after yourself love, sending supportive thoughts your way.

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By *ister CMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"It takes half the time the relationship lasted to get over them...

In general. wow really? Where’s that stat from?

Possibly true for longer relationships. Intrigued. "

Its a classic psychological theory... based on grief as I recall. There are others too but I found this aligned with me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try to find (good) distractions and be kind to yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm so sorry OP. Unfortunately you're asking the wrong person here. I had a hellish break up myself during lockdown. Crying every day, hair falling out, wasn't sleeping and not eating either. That went on for four months. How did I get through it? With the love and support from my three closest friends. Please take care of yourself. You'll get through it xx

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By *humper.Man
over a year ago

northumberland/scotland

"Yeah I know I know, "this is a sex site"....

But I'm licking my wounds after a pretty horrific break up. Apart from the obvious suggestion, what tips do you have to get over someone?

No massive advice other than to delete and block them on everything (just initially whilst the emotion settles). Try to remove all physical emotional ties, pictures, belongings etc.

spend time with your emotion and lots of self care. Cry, be angry, be resentful, be all of those emotions.

Go for long walks where you can just “be”, spend time alone, spend time with friends. Cope. And sooner or later, you’ll feel a bit better

Great advise!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One day at a time. I'm still single after 3 years due to my last 5 year relationship. I only just feel ready enough to start thinking about another relationship.

It depends on how long you've been with someone and what you went through,everyone is different but you will eventually feel OK with things.

I'd say take time to look after you! Treat yourself & do things you enjoy. I also went through therapy and learnt about red flags & having stronger boundaries so I don't go through another traumatic or toxic relationship. (Not saying you have though). X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah I know I know, "this is a sex site"....

But I'm licking my wounds after a pretty horrific break up. Apart from the obvious suggestion, what tips do you have to get over someone? "

I tried to send you a

but I'm out of your age range, so will pop it here

midnight xx

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Time. It's the only thing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I feel a bit of a twat. It was only a couple of months. But he was the first person I trusted for a loooooong time. The first person I let Dom me for an age.

I'm at that awful stage when I just want to message him all the time. I've practically begged. I feel such an idiot.

Definitely need more therapy!

Great advice you lovely lot. Thank you.

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By *o scandalousWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

I’m still hurting - I let my soulmate slip through my fingers because I was stupid. It’s been over 20 years and I’ve never got over him.

Will take someone exceptional to get me over him. Not found that person yet.

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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Market Harborough / Kettering

Dead simple answer, you don't!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Love yourself and keep busy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Time.

Still hurts just as much, you just think about it a little less.

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

"I feel a bit of a twat. It was only a couple of months. But he was the first person I trusted for a loooooong time. The first person I let Dom me for an age.

I'm at that awful stage when I just want to message him all the time. I've practically begged. I feel such an idiot.

Definitely need more therapy!

Great advice you lovely lot. Thank you. "

Don’t give yourself a hard time for that. We’ve all done it. Wearing your heart on your sleeve is nothing to be ashamed of.

You’ll need a combo of loads of things to feel better. Time with friends, time alone. It’s a balance of feeling the feelings then distracting yourself from them to have a break from it. Both are important.

A relationship of sorts has just ended for me too. It’s awful, so I know how you’re feeling, I’m with you. You’ll get through it though, it’ll just be awful for a while, but you’ll get there x

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By *xywelshguyMan
over a year ago

Bridgend

Get under someone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have none i failed as i refuse to abandon people my code wont allow it id rather spend life punnishing myself

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I'm going through a weird sort of break up ..I just gotta get on with life ..and see what the future holds

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Yeah I know I know, "this is a sex site"....

But I'm licking my wounds after a pretty horrific break up. Apart from the obvious suggestion, what tips do you have to get over someone? "

No idea mate. Mine's turned into some traumatic grief and I no longer trust people....enter low libido here. nearly 9 years and counting.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Try and work out what you are grieving. Is it the loss of the relationship or the loss of that specific person? Is it the loss of a potential future you imagined?

Mourn that loss and let go of dreams of maybes that will not be.

Pat yourself on the back for getting out there and committing to something and someone. It takes courage to open our hearts. You can do it again.

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By *essie.Woman
over a year ago

Serendipity

"I feel a bit of a twat. It was only a couple of months. But he was the first person I trusted for a loooooong time. The first person I let Dom me for an age.

I'm at that awful stage when I just want to message him all the time. I've practically begged. I feel such an idiot.

Definitely need more therapy!

Great advice you lovely lot. Thank you. "

I think the fact it was a D/s relationship means you really trusted him. My advice, is to block him on every means of communication, delete his number too. If you need a back up option for now , write it down somewhere , but take it off your phone as it’s too easy & tempting to write a message in the middle of the night. And just take it a day at a time.

Be kind to yourself and try to keep busy if you can.

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By *estman for the jobMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Op it's always good to have a friend or two who will not only be a shoulder but will get you back out there having fun and reminding u who you really are and that's a strong independent person x

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

You never get used to it ..not even after the fifth time

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By *xydadbodMan
over a year ago

Milton keynes

Not much that hasn't been said really apart from take time away to focus on yourself. Time is a healer after all and hopefully wounds begin to heal. Hope you're ok though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah I know I know, "this is a sex site"....

But I'm licking my wounds after a pretty horrific break up. Apart from the obvious suggestion, what tips do you have to get over someone? "

Accept it, go through it, you will get over it. Don’t bury your feelings as they will come back later. No one is worth this shit xxx

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

Oh someone posted about this on the fetish site. I'll see if I can condense their advice...

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By *olourmeplayfulWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

"Yeah I know I know, "this is a sex site"....

But I'm licking my wounds after a pretty horrific break up. Apart from the obvious suggestion, what tips do you have to get over someone? "

Hold space for yourself, allow your feelings to be felt. Remember they don’t define you. You are the sky and your emotions are the weather passing through. Sometimes it’s glorious sometimes it’s stormy, but it will pass.

Find small things that bring you joy, a flower, dancing to a certain song, spending time with people that fill your soul.

There is not quick fix I’m afraid but know it will pass xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Listen to Eminem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Alcohol helps. Or is it time? It’s one of them.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Yeah I know I know, "this is a sex site"....

But I'm licking my wounds after a pretty horrific break up. Apart from the obvious suggestion, what tips do you have to get over someone? "

Keep busy.. Occupy your body and mind. Try a new thing or two... Sports or book club or am dram or... Reach out to friends and ask for company for a bit..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't forget to eat xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to reply. I appreciate it, and definitely going to try and put some of this into practice xx

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Love yourself more....... x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To get over someone you get under someone else right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Time and no contact with them, social media too.

If you want to talk I'm about today.

Feel your feels and cry if you need to. Journal how you feel, this helped me a lot.

In a few weeks times you'll look back and feel so much better.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

Sorry to hear this, OP.

- Be kind to yourself.

- Do not torture yourself by staying facebook friends, etc.

- Take some time for yourself - but also if you can try to avoid isolating yourself too much.

- Allow yourself to feel whatever you are going through

- Fresh air is always good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do something that's going to take your mind off it but that's not not gonna leave you with a worse come down after.

Random casual sex can fall into the latter as well as getting shitfaced or even stuffing your face with junkfood for a whole weekend.

Get out and go for coffees or meal with friends. Or just walk in the fresh air.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"My advice, is to block him on every means of communication, delete his number too. If you need a back up option for now , write it down somewhere , but take it off your phone as it’s too easy & tempting to write a message in the middle of the night."

I think this is good advice. I deleted all numbers and means of contacting them. However, I also gave their number to my brother and asked him not to give it back until he thought I was ready.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Listen to heartbreak Anniversary.

https://youtu.be/zkE8HD10EU0

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Time, distractions and maybe find someone just to talk to without any connection. Maybe do stuff at home like decorating, take up a new hobby or course. Soon you won’t be thinking about anything other than what you are doing x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Distractions is a great shout.... I started reading loads more and listening to podcasts.

Got heavy into ted talks at the time too.

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