FabSwingers.com forum: Rude colleague...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How do you deal a rude colleague?

I'm doing a handover with a colleague who has returned from mat leave.

She's mentioned a few times now how she thinks certain things have got 'out of control' since she left.

She also talks over me when I try to suggest something.

It's beginning to grate on me. Nothing is out of control, just different to how she would do something. I want to tell her to fuck off.

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By *aturedWithAgeMan
over a year ago

Ashton

“we’ll that’s the way it’s done now”

She’s probably feeling vulnerable, and trying to make herself look good and everyone bad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keep the interactions short and sweet. Speak when only absolutely necessary and nothing more

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Maybe she'll settle down soon

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By *ixedDevilMan
over a year ago

Bootyville

Say this “I appreciate your concerns and contributions. If you think anything should be done differently, I would happily make a note of it and talk to the seniors about it.”

This is the professional way of telling someone to fuck off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It sounds as though she is feeling vulnerable and overreacting .. She probably feels like she has to prove herself

Of course she might just be a bitch

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Just tell her to fuck off been ok without her!

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By *ull English with teaMan
over a year ago

London

Ask her to take it outside

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By *eisty LadyWoman
over a year ago

Count Your Blessings Cottage, Gratitude Grove

If it’s a handover the it should be a short term thing

She’ll be feeling vulnerable, coming back to work, changes out in place during her absence, having to leave her young child at home, and probably coping with minimal sleep

Cut her some slack

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just tell her to fuck off been ok without her!"

Exactly! 12 months I've been doing job. If things were so out of control then I'm pretty sure someone would have mentioned something in that time

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ask her to take it outside "

I'd win in a fight. No contest. I fight dirty.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If it’s a handover the it should be a short term thing

She’ll be feeling vulnerable, coming back to work, changes out in place during her absence, having to leave her young child at home, and probably coping with minimal sleep

Cut her some slack "

So I should allow her behaviour because she's a new mum?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you deal a rude colleague?

I'm doing a handover with a colleague who has returned from mat leave.

She's mentioned a few times now how she thinks certain things have got 'out of control' since she left.

She also talks over me when I try to suggest something.

It's beginning to grate on me. Nothing is out of control, just different to how she would do something. I want to tell her to fuck off.

Don't give her the satisfaction of reacting

Just do what you need to do and be quiet

This will grate on her even more than arguing will

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

let her get on with it .... if she is so good she will sort whatever is out of control....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If it’s a handover the it should be a short term thing

She’ll be feeling vulnerable, coming back to work, changes out in place during her absence, having to leave her young child at home, and probably coping with minimal sleep

Cut her some slack

So I should allow her behaviour because she's a new mum? "

No, more about her being a returning employee who is likely worried that the cover person is doing a better job than her

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

North West

"If it’s a handover the it should be a short term thing

She’ll be feeling vulnerable, coming back to work, changes out in place during her absence, having to leave her young child at home, and probably coping with minimal sleep

Cut her some slack "

This. 100%

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Be careful how you handle it. Don’t put yourself in the frame for bullying a returning new mum. Seek advice of HR or a senior staff member. Cover your arse at all times. Ensure you never say anything that can come back to bite you and if possible ensure someone else is in the room with you. Record all and any conversations … just in case!

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"Be careful how you handle it. Don’t put yourself in the frame for bullying a returning new mum. Seek advice of HR or a senior staff member. Cover your arse at all times. Ensure you never say anything that can come back to bite you and if possible ensure someone else is in the room with you. Record all and any conversations … just in case! "

I mean take notes of conversations. It is illegal to record conversations without declaring you are doing so

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If it’s a handover the it should be a short term thing

She’ll be feeling vulnerable, coming back to work, changes out in place during her absence, having to leave her young child at home, and probably coping with minimal sleep

Cut her some slack

This. 100% "

You think I should tolerate her put downs rather than stand up for myself?

I don't see it as an excuse shotty behaviour. She can prove herself through her work not by taking digs at me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm leaving I'm 3 weeks. I'll just avoid spending much time alone with her.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Just do the handover, get on with your job and let her settle back into hers

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I'm leaving I'm 3 weeks. I'll just avoid spending much time alone with her. "

If you're going anyway ..wait till the last day and put her straight in no uncertain terms

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By *eisty LadyWoman
over a year ago

Count Your Blessings Cottage, Gratitude Grove

"If it’s a handover the it should be a short term thing

She’ll be feeling vulnerable, coming back to work, changes out in place during her absence, having to leave her young child at home, and probably coping with minimal sleep

Cut her some slack

…

So I should allow her behaviour because she's a new mum? "

…

Judging by your posts iMoshe isn’t the only person with attitude.

If you don’t like a quality that someone else has then ask yourself whether you demonstrate the same thing yourself!

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"If it’s a handover the it should be a short term thing

She’ll be feeling vulnerable, coming back to work, changes out in place during her absence, having to leave her young child at home, and probably coping with minimal sleep

Cut her some slack

So I should allow her behaviour because she's a new mum? "

No. Cut her some slack because change is not easy for anyone and everyone. How long has she been back? Over the last 8 years I've had a constant rotation of colleagues and managers in my workplace It's a mind fuck trying to mesh with them.....You get used to doing things one way and then along comes someone else who changes everything. My neurodivergent brain hates it. My preference is to give them 6-12 weeks to settle down as my personal probation. After that, if it's still bothering me, then I have a chat with the person and line management. Personally, I struggle to talk to people so I do tend to put things in an email a lot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop playing hard to get?!…

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"How do you deal a rude colleague?

I'm doing a handover with a colleague who has returned from mat leave.

She's mentioned a few times now how she thinks certain things have got 'out of control' since she left.

She also talks over me when I try to suggest something.

It's beginning to grate on me. Nothing is out of control, just different to how she would do something. I want to tell her to fuck off.

You should have asked her at the time and politely what she thought had gotten out of control and why.

When you are speaking and not listened to, just say ..... politely, 'I haven't quite finished what I was saying. Then continue to talk ....

Seems you do not mind your boundaries being broken.

Mind you she could have been joking....

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

I'm leaving I'm 3 weeks. I'll just avoid spending much time alone with her. "

Ooop Problem solved. avoid her and leave on good terms...need the references.

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin

"If it’s a handover the it should be a short term thing

She’ll be feeling vulnerable, coming back to work, changes out in place during her absence, having to leave her young child at home, and probably coping with minimal sleep

Cut her some slack

This. 100%

You think I should tolerate her put downs rather than stand up for myself?

I don't see it as an excuse shotty behaviour. She can prove herself through her work not by taking digs at me. "

No you absolutely should not accept that kind of behaviour.

First thing i would do is document all interactions you have with her where her behaviour is poor.

Then assuming it continues, i would actually call her aside into a room and let her know some of the comments she has been making have left you feeling uncomfortable and if she has an issue with your work perhaps she could address it with you directly and privately.

Watch her stutter over her words then and be nice as pie to you then.

These people cant handle being confronted in a calm, polite, direct manner

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By *ottom charlieMan
over a year ago

washington

"How do you deal a rude colleague?

I'm doing a handover with a colleague who has returned from mat leave.

She's mentioned a few times now how she thinks certain things have got 'out of control' since she left.

She also talks over me when I try to suggest something.

It's beginning to grate on me. Nothing is out of control, just different to how she would do something. I want to tell her to fuck off.

"
i take it "mat leave" you mean "maternity leave" maybe she is feeling a bit vulnerable and maybe suffering from "post natal problems give her time to re-adjust to life in the big girl world again,,,

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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago

In my happy place

Just do what your boss has asked you to do.

Hopefully you have a job to go to. Focus on that.

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By *ananaman41Man
over a year ago

Dublin

"Just do what your boss has asked you to do.

Hopefully you have a job to go to. Focus on that. "

Bad behaviour should never be tolerated in the workplace though, if continuous.

She either addresses it herself directly with the woman in question or goes to her superior.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Say shut the trap and listen then you get to talk

Had to litterally say this to someone at work this week i dont have the patience i used to

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

I've worked in political offices and slinging mud once people left (I was badly trained/this wasn't explained etc), no matter how good they were was often used when people were just not that capable. It sort of gets that team rallying around helping them.

I'd leave it until a week before and give management a brief appraisal - they'll know things have been running smoothly so will be aware if there's need for extra coaching. No harm mentioning it to a colleague or two either if her attitude is that poor.

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