FabSwingers.com forum: Giving up on relationships

By *unandgamegeek OP Man
over a year ago

Bolton

I know that relationships aren't the be all and end all but I thought I'd ask, has anyone else given up on relationships in terms of staying single and refraining from finding love? If so, what are your reasons?

As for me, I think deep down, I may given up on relationships years ago. My reasons are that I fear I would screw it up like I have in past relationships and the thought of another heartbreak after so many in my life would be just too painful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was widowed 9 years ago and nothings happens since, so I’ve resigned myself to the fact it never will

Maybe I’m unloveable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was widowed 9 years ago and nothings happens since, so I’ve resigned myself to the fact it never will

Maybe I’m unloveable

Obviously, that's awful and making me feel the feels.

However, your poor inbox is about to get a battering lol.

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By *iren!Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

This is a toughy.

I think the older I get the less I want a relationship.

It would be amazing to have someone.

I am a Pollyamorphous kinda person but it is definitely starting to make more sense.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I'm single ..once again...looking after mum has taken its toll

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was widowed 9 years ago and nothings happens since, so I’ve resigned myself to the fact it never will

Maybe I’m unloveable

Obviously, that's awful and making me feel the feels.

However, your poor inbox is about to get a battering lol."

Nope, message filters on

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"I was widowed 9 years ago and nothings happens since, so I’ve resigned myself to the fact it never will

Maybe I’m unloveable

"
Mr Kinky was a lucky man to have you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would want the burden of being all things to one person nor they to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I have sad story

But I feel head over heels for someone

Had life all planned out at a very young age

Turned out she didn’t think I was worth it

It broke my hart in to a million peace and it’s still shattered to this day

I never want to get hurt like that again

Also for all the wrong that they did I still in love with them

I have tryed dateing but couldn’t do that to someone knowing that I loved someone else

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I love relationships !

I have as many as I can.

I just refuse to live with anyone.

Works for me.

I value my independence and don't want to 'keep house' for someone else.

If they don't want a relationship unless I conform it's toodle ooooo.

( bursts into 'I am what I am! '

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was widowed 9 years ago and nothings happens since, so I’ve resigned myself to the fact it never will

Maybe I’m unloveable

Obviously, that's awful and making me feel the feels.

However, your poor inbox is about to get a battering lol.

Nope, message filters on

Ya know, I had to check.

Touche

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've abstained from a relationship of any kind after the last one, it was disastrous and I went through a hellish break up. It's taught me how to be comfortable in my own company even though I do suffer with loneliness sometimes but I'd hate to think I'm going to be alone the rest of my days. I miss the companionship of having someone in my life x

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

I have truly loved twice, my first died, took me a very long time to let someone else in, when I finally did I got it broken again, so I will stay away from relationships and love

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a single mother and dont have time for a relationship nor do I want to introduce anyone into his life while hes just a child. I've seen so many single mums introduce boyfriend after boyfriend to their kids only for them to be gone a few months later.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've abstained from a relationship of any kind after the last one, it was disastrous and I went through a hellish break up. It's taught me how to be comfortable in my own company even though I do suffer with loneliness sometimes but I'd hate to think I'm going to be alone the rest of my days. I miss the companionship of having someone in my life x "
exactly this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was widowed 9 years ago and nothings happens since, so I’ve resigned myself to the fact it never will

Maybe I’m unloveable

You look very loveable, and more importantly I am sure you are very loveable… it’ll come .. Soto speak!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Companions are wonderful… I would be honoured to accompany you xx

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Never again a relationship for me! Lots of reasons! Second relationship I've ever had he passed near on 12 years ago now! Think he was probably my soul mate! Plus I like my own space and think I'm now to selfish to share my life to that extent with anyone x

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By *unandgamegeek OP Man
over a year ago

Bolton

I know that feeling. It sucks having your heart broken but it also sucks suffering from loneliness. There were times where I felt that romantic love is a load of shit that only exists in fairy tales. Even though it was nice to be in a relationship but after what I've been through, I'm starting to believe that a romantic relationship is nothing but a lie.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I will never give up on the idea of love! I am a hopeful romantic.

I can’t see me having a conventional relationship again though. At the moment I have my mum, my kids and two dogs to look after, I couldn’t give someone all of my undivided attention these days.

Ideally, I’d like to meet a fella who has his own place, I have mine, we get together a few times a week, have short breaks away (maybe) and just have a happy, chilled out relationship having lots of laughs, sex and fun. A monogamous relationship though,

But I’m not sure there are many men into all that.

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By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

In the words of Leonard Cohen:

"The gates of love, they budged an inch.

I can't say much has happened since."

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I know that relationships aren't the be all and end all but I thought I'd ask, has anyone else given up on relationships in terms of staying single and refraining from finding love? If so, what are your reasons?

I would love a relationship but I'm far too complex for most people to get their head around. They always seem to think I'm something I'm not and they always stop communicating ...i dunno out of their fears or insecurities or they think i'm being an ass?

the last relationship was my former husband who got crazy enough to try to put his hands around my neck and that was nearly 9 years ago. I've had lovers but we never planned out life together and never lived together.

My Complexity: I'm a maverick, I'm a Christian, I have compersion so I can be poly, I have BPD, I have autistic traits and did some postgraduate education.

My Complexity makes people uncomfortable. I really wanted a family but life hasn't turned out that way. So I just do the best I can with what I can get.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Complexity: I'm a maverick, I'm a Christian, I have compersion so I can be poly, I have BPD, I have autistic traits and did some postgraduate education.

My Complexity makes people uncomfortable. I really wanted a family but life hasn't turned out that way. So I just do the best I can with what I can get."

You sound fascinating

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

I just can't be arsed.

Relationships take more than they give.

So I'm happy alone.

I'd be happier with more sex, but I'm not alone with that feeling!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've given up on traditional 'love' type relationships for the time being.

I'm not sure I would live with someone again, or sleep in the same bed every night...

Every relationship comes with its uncertainty, unless you spend you're life totally alone there will be disappointment.

You've survived heartbreak once so you know you can do it again

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By *tagmeupMan
over a year ago

wirral

"I was widowed 9 years ago and nothings happens since, so I’ve resigned myself to the fact it never will

Maybe I’m unloveable

I find that hard to believe, you are absolutely stunning x

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

As a former wife, I do believe it exists, however you have to work at it. People think you don't have to work at it and that is the lie. My marriage fell apart when we both stopped working at it. And it can't be one-sided. In my case I put in a lot of work for 5 years and then I became mentally ill and I couldn't do it and my ex couldn't do it either so it fell apart. If he had been able to keep it together until I got better, it would have worked but he couldn't...for his own reasons.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

My Complexity: I'm a maverick, I'm a Christian, I have compersion so I can be poly, I have BPD, I have autistic traits and did some postgraduate education.

My Complexity makes people uncomfortable. I really wanted a family but life hasn't turned out that way. So I just do the best I can with what I can get.

You sound fascinating"

Yeah people are fascinated until the shit hits the fan,,,, then they can't cope.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I still carry a flame for someone, but I do hope to fall in love again.

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By *ittleMyWoman
over a year ago

Stockport

"I will never give up on the idea of love! I am a hopeful romantic.

I can’t see me having a conventional relationship again though. At the moment I have my mum, my kids and two dogs to look after, I couldn’t give someone all of my undivided attention these days.

But I’m not sure there are many men into all that.

...me neither. If you are fortunate enough to meet one, please could you ask if he has a brother?! x

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I just can't be arsed.

Relationships take more than they give.

So I'm happy alone.

I'd be happier with more sex, but I'm not alone with that feeling!! "

Facts...right now my libido is so low I don't even want to have sex with myself...which is alarming right now for me....Fab is the place for desperate weirdos right? lol!

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I've given up on traditional 'love' type relationships for the time being.

I'm not sure I would live with someone again, or sleep in the same bed every night...

Every relationship comes with its uncertainty, unless you spend you're life totally alone there will be disappointment.

You've survived heartbreak once so you know you can do it again

I don't know about that the last heartbreak nearly killed me...not a route I'd like to go down again...

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By *emma HoldenTV/TS
over a year ago

Ramsey

I'd like another relationship after my divorce but I'm worried about getting another bad reaction to Gemma & my split persona. I don't want to hurt anyone, nor do I want to be hurt myself. I kinda figure it's better all round if I stay on my own & avoid the inevitable.

It's a massive ask to expect a lady to take this on, & it'll always be an elephant in the room if I try to hide it. But I live in hope one day I'll chance upon a gorgeous soul who doesn't mind & will run with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Relationships are not what they are cracked up to be, I would rather be happy and single with fwb than be in a relationship with someone that cheats and lies, it’s a miserable life.

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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago

Near Wells

I'm not suitable for a relationship, I'm selfish, independent and only ever think of me. Happy and content in my own skin.

Tried it years ago but not for me

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By *unandgamegeek OP Man
over a year ago

Bolton

"Relationships are not what they are cracked up to be, I would rather be happy and single with fwb than be in a relationship with someone that cheats and lies, it’s a miserable life. "

This I can agree on. I'll always have love for my friends but I'm never gonna do romantic love again.

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"I just can't be arsed.

Relationships take more than they give.

So I'm happy alone.

I'd be happier with more sex, but I'm not alone with that feeling!!

Facts...right now my libido is so low I don't even want to have sex with myself...which is alarming right now for me....Fab is the place for desperate weirdos right? lol!"

Absofuckinglutely Right !!

Love from Desperate & Weird xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/09/22 22:53:10]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never been able to find one and I've given up trying. I'm too old for it to not be a red flag now so I've just accepted it's never gonna happen for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was widowed 9 years ago and nothings happens since, so I’ve resigned myself to the fact it never will

Maybe I’m unloveable

Somehow I doubt that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As has been pointed out by others, relationships either end in death or splitting up - there's never ever going to be a happy ending. There can however be many years of happy now. Not looking for happy now for fear of a sad later seems counterproductive to me. That's why I've worked so hard to break to down my own walls.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As has been pointed out by others, relationships either end in death or splitting up - there's never ever going to be a happy ending. There can however be many years of happy now. Not looking for happy now for fear of a sad later seems counterproductive to me. That's why I've worked so hard to break to down my own walls.

Mr"

Thoroughly agree. I had my heart broken, but I'd risk it again. For the chance to feel that way again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not giving up but I'm not stuck on a traditional set-up.

Happy making happy happen every happy day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are separated but living in the same house. Separate rooms for about 10 months. But just easier to keep the couple profile.

I had been chatting with someone (off fab) for 3 weeks and we were talking about meeting for a drink Friday...woke up this morning to being blocked on everything.

I'm beginning to wonder why i bother and think I am close to not even trying

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By *ilverjagMan
over a year ago

swansea

After my wife died, I vowed there was never going to be another wedding cake on the table because, you don't know how they are going to turn out in the long term. Also the older I've got, the more territorial I've become, and not about to risk carving up a lifetimes achievements with anyone. So fb's and FWB suits me perfectly.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I just can't be arsed.

Relationships take more than they give.

So I'm happy alone.

I'd be happier with more sex, but I'm not alone with that feeling!!

Facts...right now my libido is so low I don't even want to have sex with myself...which is alarming right now for me....Fab is the place for desperate weirdos right? lol!

Absofuckinglutely Right !!

Love from Desperate & Weird xx "

Cheers from Desperate & Weird & Awkward too

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I've never been able to find one and I've given up trying. I'm too old for it to not be a red flag now so I've just accepted it's never gonna happen for me. "

old?

if you are old, what am I the Crypt Keeper?

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"We are separated but living in the same house. Separate rooms for about 10 months. But just easier to keep the couple profile.

I had been chatting with someone (off fab) for 3 weeks and we were talking about meeting for a drink Friday...woke up this morning to being blocked on everything.

I'm beginning to wonder why i bother and think I am close to not even trying "

They are the dickhead. You probably dodged an unstable bullet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've never been able to find one and I've given up trying. I'm too old for it to not be a red flag now so I've just accepted it's never gonna happen for me.

old?

if you are old, what am I the Crypt Keeper?

I'm not old in general but I am too old to have never had a boyfriend, yes.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"After my wife died, I vowed there was never going to be another wedding cake on the table because, you don't know how they are going to turn out in the long term. Also the older I've got, the more territorial I've become, and not about to risk carving up a lifetimes achievements with anyone. So fb's and FWB suits me perfectly. "

You are lucky that you had a wife till death do part. A lot of us weren't so lucky.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'm not forever closed off to the idea, but nothing about it appeals to me and I'm actively avoiding it.

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By *amierebelMan
over a year ago

My own little world

Totally gave up on love think after being cheated on many a times it starts play with your security's now single and mingling and genuinely couldn't be happier or more confident

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By *9 kisses.Man
over a year ago

clacton on sea

I'm married but not in love,

I know she feels the same,

We exist to be parents, the kids come way before our happiness,

I did meet someone a few years back,

I would of definitely moved in with her as I loved her,

But she constantly lied and cheated on me,

Karma I suppose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve been single for approx 8 years. I have tried on and off in that time to date but always been unsuccessful in it turning into a relationship. I’ve had a lot of trauma in my previous relationships which has had an effect on me. I guess on damaged goods

I won’t say never again but it’s hard work the getting to know someone stage and at the moment I can’t be bothered to do that.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I've never been able to find one and I've given up trying. I'm too old for it to not be a red flag now so I've just accepted it's never gonna happen for me.

old?

if you are old, what am I the Crypt Keeper?

I'm not old in general but I am too old to have never had a boyfriend, yes. "

Ah I see. Any consolation my sister is 32 this year and I've never met or had a whiff of any of her boyfriends...so much to the point I flat out asked her if she was a lesbian...she said she wasn't into women. lol! I'm the big sister with a big mouth.

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By *eisty LadyWoman
over a year ago

Count Your Blessings Cottage, Gratitude Grove

I love dating men

I will never again live with anyone or get married again

I don’t want another relationship either, they get too humdrum and the spark disappears when it’s night after night on the sofa, doing shopping etc

I keep my dating life away from home life, to me they’re two distinct and different things

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

I have been messed around and taken advantage of by too many women to ever trust again.

There are no advantages for men to have a relationship with.

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

I'm happier single than risking falling head over heels in love and then finding out that the guy is on a similar site to here lying to everyone he's in a sexless relationship just to get his dick wet a few extra times.

Hasn't happened by the way, just here makes me cynical and has probably put me off relationships for life.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Entering my 30s where relationship gets easier so I’m going the other way. My 20s were just endless fwb/ons stuff. Now I’m getting ready to chill

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Last time I dated was 1998. I've given up on been in love or been loved.

Had a kid at 19 and closed myself off to the world. Have tried to let guys in and just ends in disaster.

We live in a disposable society noone wants to put the work in to a relationship yeck even feiendships

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll avoid the L word right now thank you. I’ve not given up how for the future, but right now I’d like to find myself before I find anyone else.

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"I just can't be arsed.

Relationships take more than they give.

So I'm happy alone.

I'd be happier with more sex, but I'm not alone with that feeling!!

Facts...right now my libido is so low I don't even want to have sex with myself...which is alarming right now for me....Fab is the place for desperate weirdos right? lol!

Absofuckinglutely Right !!

Love from Desperate & Weird xx

Cheers from Desperate & Weird & Awkward too

How could I forget Awkward!!

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

He would have to accept so many non negotiable needs of mine and my current longterm partners I already have and for many that's a big ask.

So I'll stick to fwb's

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I think they gave up on me to be honest

I'm happy enough though would like a plus one for party invites from time to time lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think they gave up on me to be honest

I'm happy enough though would like a plus one for party invites from time to time lol "

Ahhhh. That plus one.

That’s the one for me too, I don’t like being alone at the best of times, but I avoid invites to places knowing I could end up sat alone for the night. It’s also the going home alone too I don’t like.

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By *unandgamegeek OP Man
over a year ago

Bolton

"I’ve been single for approx 8 years. I have tried on and off in that time to date but always been unsuccessful in it turning into a relationship. I’ve had a lot of trauma in my previous relationships which has had an effect on me. I guess on damaged goods

I won’t say never again but it’s hard work the getting to know someone stage and at the moment I can’t be bothered to do that. "

With me having autism, there have been times where I felt like I was damaged goods. Heck, there were times where I felt I like I was cursed. I'm now almost beginning to believe that maybe I am and should accept I'm doomed to be alone forever.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Not in a relationship at the mo and not really looking.

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