FabSwingers.com forum: Useless questions

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

For fun: yes I know its Thursday but this is for fun!!!!!

what useless question can u come up with .........

If everything is surrounded by red tape, why don't u ever see any? .........

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

Does my bum look big in this?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Does my bum look big in this?"

thats not a useless question ........ women ask that cos they need to know the answer ............

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By *kywatcherMan
over a year ago

Southwick

Is it only me...(fill in blanks)? completely and utterly useless.

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"Does my bum look big in this?

thats not a useless question ........ women ask that cos they need to know the answer ............

If we say Yes - you get the hump because you've a big bum. If we say No - you think we are lying - which means you have a big bum...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why can't I get any meets....

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

Fancy a blow job?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1 that gets me is when Im sitting at a junction but cant get out for a load of traffic and a passenger will ask "Where are they all coming from?"

How the fuck should I know???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is an occasional table the rest of the time?

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By *kywatcherMan
over a year ago

Southwick

Rate me/my cock/my wife/my bum/ questions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does my bum look big in this?

thats not a useless question ........ women ask that cos they need to know the answer ............

If we say Yes - you get the hump because you've a big bum. If we say No - you think we are lying - which means you have a big bum..."

A big bum is not a bad thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why hasnt she read and responded to my email? Its been all of 3 minutes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When someone rings or knocks at the door and somebody says who's that? Before you even answer it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what useless question can u come up with .........

From the forums ????

"y wont laddys or wimin anser mi mesages wen iy txt dem seyin iy wont tu fuc"

Or, how to improve my 5 word profile cos I ain't gettin dem bichez.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why hasnt she read and responded to my email? Its been all of 3 minutes

A perfectly maximum acceptable time limit to expect a begging for sex response, I'm my most honest and humble opinion.

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"Does my bum look big in this?

thats not a useless question ........ women ask that cos they need to know the answer ............

If we say Yes - you get the hump because you've a big bum. If we say No - you think we are lying - which means you have a big bum...

A big bum is not a bad thing.

I concur.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

what useless question can u come up with .........

From the forums ????

"y wont laddys or wimin anser mi mesages wen iy txt dem seyin iy wont tu fuc"

Or, how to improve my 5 word profile cos I ain't gettin dem bichez."

jeeez that took some reading lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When someone rings or knocks at the door and somebody says who's that? Before you even answer it!

that bugs me too - stock answer, sorry can't see through walls

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What is an occasional table the rest of the time?"

ha ha I like this one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what useless question can u come up with .........

From the forums ????

"y wont laddys or wimin anser mi mesages wen iy txt dem seyin iy wont tu fuc"

Or, how to improve my 5 word profile cos I ain't gettin dem bichez.

jeeez that took some reading lol

I've had lots of experience reading them on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you lose something and someone says when did you last have it?...........always turns me into basil Fawlty!!

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"For fun: yes I know its Thursday but this is for fun!!!!!

what useless question can u come up with .........

If everything is surrounded by red tape, why don't u ever see any? .........

No - but it's effects are real..

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

I know I'm outside your age range - does that apply to me?

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

why does having a fat chance and having a slim chance mean the same thing

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"why does having a fat chance and having a slim chance mean the same thing

You missed off 'no chance'...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

IT'S HOW MUCH!

Knowing that you'll buy it anyway lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fancy a blow job?"

That's more of a rhetoric question than a useless one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can you check out my profile to see where I'm going wrong?"

"Please can you fab my/our pics?"

makes me laugh every time!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"why does having a fat chance and having a slim chance mean the same thing

It's not the same thing.

Fat chance I'll get best answer for this. But with any luck there is a slim chance I'll get best answer

They don't mean the same thing!

Fat chance is an irony. You don’t expect to win or achieve your goal.

Slim chance is when there is a minimal chance of winning and achieving your goal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've made yourself a double round of double decker bacon, lettuce & tomato sandwiches and just as you sit down someone says, "Are you really going to eat all that?"

"No, I'm just gonna fucking look at it having wasted 15 minutes valuable time making it!"

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"Fancy a blow job?

That's more of a rhetoric question than a useless one.

It is deliciously useless and rhetoric at the same time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Can you check out my profile to see where I'm going wrong?"

"Please can you fab my/our pics?"

makes me laugh every time!

Can I spank you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You walk into the CAR showroom and some spotty little oik comes over and gushes, "So you're looking for a new car then, Sir."

"Er, no, I came in on the off chance you'd sell me a fucking fridge!"

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"why does having a fat chance and having a slim chance mean the same thing

It's not the same thing.

Fat chance I'll get best answer for this. But with any luck there is a slim chance I'll get best answer

They don't mean the same thing!

Fat chance is an irony. You don’t expect to win or achieve your goal.

Slim chance is when there is a minimal chance of winning and achieving your goal.

it does mean the same thing if you say fat chance ironically

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Can you check out my profile to see where I'm going wrong?"

"Please can you fab my/our pics?"

makes me laugh every time!

Can I spank you?

Is that a question, or a telling off for my post!? Either way, gently does it!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Can you check out my profile to see where I'm going wrong?"

"Please can you fab my/our pics?"

makes me laugh every time!

Can I spank you?

Fancy a fuck tonight and its 11.45pm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Can you check out my profile to see where I'm going wrong?"

"Please can you fab my/our pics?"

makes me laugh every time!

Can I spank you?

Fancy a fuck tonight and its 11.45pm

those types need to thumb through the yellow pages for 'ye olde knocking shoppe'

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

""Can you check out my profile to see where I'm going wrong?"

"Please can you fab my/our pics?"

makes me laugh every time!

Can I spank you?

Fancy a fuck tonight and its 11.45pm

I get those all the time when I log in after work at about 1.30am!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why?

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

why do some swans migrate to britain, surely they could fly the same distance in a different direction and spend the winter somewhere warm

so much for evolution

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

When someone has ripped a really smelly fart and someone else says "Can you smell that"

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By *atcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Suffolk - East Anglia

Why is it when a man talks dirty to a woman its sexual harrasement.

But when a woman talks dirty to a man its £2.50 a minute - call charges vary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you sure?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why are you on here ? Ermm u tell me lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When someone has ripped a really smelly fart and someone else says "Can you smell that""

or........."was that you!?"

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two penneth in, what happens to the other penny?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Can you check out my profile to see where I'm going wrong?"

"Please can you fab my/our pics?"

makes me laugh every time!

Can I spank you?

Is that a question, or a telling off for my post!? Either way, gently does it!!!

It's a question. So is it gently first until my hand/your ass has warmed to it, or gently all the way of I get a kick in the nads?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I ask you a question?"

I think it is self-evident that you can.

If you'd like to ask me another, different question, then ask me that and you can save us both a bit of time by not asking the pointless first question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it isn't too personal...

Well, don't fookin ask me personally then!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fresh from my inbox

'can I email you'

1 day, oooh 1 day I'll email back, you only get the 1 and you ruined it

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

"Fresh from my inbox

'can I email you'

1 day, oooh 1 day I'll email back, you only get the 1 and you ruined it

"
...was that from me? Ahhahahahahaaa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the post arrives and someone stares at the letter saying "I wonder who this is from?" Tell you what, just stare at it and guess or, you could open it!

My favourite one from years ago was a mate's wife asking

"how do the cats eyes on the road know when to switch on?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Can you check out my profile to see where I'm going wrong?"

"Please can you fab my/our pics?"

makes me laugh every time!

Can I spank you?

Is that a question, or a telling off for my post!? Either way, gently does it!!!

It's a question. So is it gently first until my hand/your ass has warmed to it, or gently all the way of I get a kick in the nads?

That would be telling!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the most annoying and pointless question ever is...

*drum roll*

Can i ask you a question? - you just did!

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

If sydney has a university can I have one too?

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

I've never looked at it that way but you're right.

Also, why do Americans call it a sidewalk when you don't walk at the side of it you walk on top of it?

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

My favourite one from years ago was a mate's wife asking

"how do the cats eyes on the road know when to switch on?"

Reminds me of the wonderful invention of the Thermos flask - keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold. And Murphy says...

'How does it know?'

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

that made me giggle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fresh from my inbox

'can I email you'

1 day, oooh 1 day I'll email back, you only get the 1 and you ruined it

...was that from me? Ahhahahahahaaa"

lol you know it wasnt, yours are never pointless x

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

noooooooooooooooooooo cos they would have a picture of one on the front and then my cats would get the "taste" for it and ............... they would go find more and bring em in........ and I would end up having a heart attack ........ not good !!!!! u'd miss me

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

You could just top the tin up again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is the proof in the pudding or not??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why is an orange called an orange!? Why isn't a lemon called a yellow?

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"why is an orange called an orange!? Why isn't a lemon called a yellow?

Talking of lemons. Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"why is an orange called an orange!? Why isn't a lemon called a yellow?

But greens are called greens, why not just green?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is the proof in the pudding or not??

Is it just me or does your avatar look like a woman who's womb has dropped out? It's quite unnerving.

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

""Can I ask you a question?"

I think it is self-evident that you can.

If you'd like to ask me another, different question, then ask me that and you can save us both a bit of time by not asking the pointless first question. "

Simple answer - yes, and that was it...

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"I know I'm outside your age range - does that apply to me?"

Ha. I get this a lot. I know I'm outside your age range, live the opposite end of the country, smoke 40 a day and have a beard to my knees but I was wondering if you fancied a chat??

Errrrr...NO!! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you lose something and someone says when did you last have it?...........always turns me into basil Fawlty!!"

Wher did you have it last? It's just ridiculous, if I knew that it wouldn't be lost!! Definitely a Basil Faulty!!

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"I know I'm outside your age range - does that apply to me?

Ha. I get this a lot. I know I'm outside your age range, live the opposite end of the country, smoke 40 a day and have a beard to my knees but I was wondering if you fancied a chat??

Errrrr...NO!! X "

But would you just for me Andrea? Pretty please?

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"I know I'm outside your age range - does that apply to me?

Ha. I get this a lot. I know I'm outside your age range, live the opposite end of the country, smoke 40 a day and have a beard to my knees but I was wondering if you fancied a chat??

Errrrr...NO!! X

But would you just for me Andrea? Pretty please?

Ha. Ill make an exception for you xx

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"I know I'm outside your age range - does that apply to me?

Ha. I get this a lot. I know I'm outside your age range, live the opposite end of the country, smoke 40 a day and have a beard to my knees but I was wondering if you fancied a chat??

Errrrr...NO!! X

But would you just for me Andrea? Pretty please?

Ha. Ill make an exception for you xx

Haha. If only I thought there was an iota of truth in that...

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Why do kamikaze pilots wear crash helmets ?

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

Why do 24-hour stores have locks on the entrance doors?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Box of assorted nuts covered in chocolate mmmmm.

And on the side of box " Product may contain nuts " noooooo way

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my hard disk?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do they call the sperm whale the sperm whale ????

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Why does everyone want to prosecute Bill Posters?

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By *iker BullMan
over a year ago

leeds

where the fuck is jepordy?? loads of jobs the apparently

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the office phone rang, an old boss of mine used to say "If that's for me don't answer it!"

Use to really confuse the new staff!

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By *kywatcherMan
over a year ago

Southwick

"Can you give me the lottery numbers for Saturday?" Shopkeeper: "Last Saturday?" No, this Saturday!" (dumb ass).

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By *aravancoupleMan
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

What happens if you get "scared half to death" twice ?

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Rescue me ?

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By *luespartanMan
over a year ago

crawley

why when you check which friends are on here twice in say a coupke of minutes does the order of friends change?

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By *aravancoupleMan
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

What was the best thing before sliced bread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

does any one wash the soap when doing house work/

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

chicken or the egg ??

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"chicken or the egg ??"
Just reminded me of the road was not moved for the chicken....

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Following on from the 1 - 12 would you post.....

Would ya????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My favourite one from years ago was a mate's wife asking

"how do the cats eyes on the road know when to switch on?"

Reminds me of the wonderful invention of the Thermos flask - keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold. And Murphy says...

'How does it know?'

Wolf

I gave my son a thermos flask on his first day of work , I explained it kept hot things hot & cold things cold.

Next day when he was carrying it off to work I asked what he had in it.

He replied "some tomato soup and some ice cream for afters"

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By *enithWoman
over a year ago

closer than you think

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery ?

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"why when you check which friends are on here twice in say a coupke of minutes does the order of friends change?"

My brother has a habit of, when phoning someone, the moment they answer he says, 'Yes? What do you want?' Unless you are used to his sense of humour then it really throws you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What are you in to?

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you drop and smash a glass on the floor and your OH says " what did you do that for?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do roads have pointless bends in them?

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