FabSwingers.com forum: Oh...so that's how you should approach women...

By *agic.M OP Man
over a year ago

Orpington

So ...me personally, I never approach women, rarely on fab, and never and I mean NEVER out in public (not even in a pub/bar/club)... and there are two reasons why... 1 I don't want to be rejected, and 2 I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable ... and yes some people (women included-obviously) will feel uncomfortable if some random stranger comes up to them and ask for their number.

Recently I had a conversation with a friend and we ended up on the topic of why I don't approach women...so this is what she said ...

"Here's how you can approach a woman without making her feel uncomfortable...

Step 1. Go to her and introduce yourself ..."Hi my name is so and so.."

Step 2. Apologise for disturbing her and make your intentions clear..." I'm sorry to disturb you, I just wanted to say I find you very attractive and I would love to take you out for a drink sometime, please take my number and give me a call /text if you would like to ..."

Step 3. Hand her a little note with your first name and tel number (now of course this can also be another form of contact like your Instagram/Facebook if you are not comfortable giving out your number)

Step 4. Walk away ...now here she might say something to you right then and there, or she might contact you another time, or she will never contact you, but either way it should be her choice at that point "

So after hearing that I went silent for a few seconds

...and actually allowed my braincells to do their job, and I thought to myself..."you know what that actually makes some sense..."

Now I know there are counter arguments for this (like having to have a piece of paper and pen with you at all time...) and I'm happy to hear them in the comment section...

My questions are...guys have you ever tried this? Did you get a call back?...and ladies if I would approach you like this in public ( now keep in mind I look so much better in real life

) would you call me/text me back ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

TLDR- can someone tell me if he’s cracked the code?

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By *o scandalousWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"So ...me personally, I never approach women, rarely on fab, and never and I mean NEVER out in public (not even in a pub/bar/club)... and there are two reasons why... 1 I don't want to be rejected, and 2 I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable ... and yes some people (women included-obviously) will feel uncomfortable if some random stranger comes up to them and ask for their number.

Recently I had a conversation with a friend and we ended up on the topic of why I don't approach women...so this is what she said ...

"Here's how you can approach a woman without making her feel uncomfortable...

Step 1. Go to her and introduce yourself ..."Hi my name is so and so.."

So after hearing that I went silent for a few seconds

...and actually allowed my braincells to do their job, and I thought to myself..."you know what that actually makes some sense..."

Now I know there are counter arguments for this (like having to have a piece of paper and pen with you at all time...) and I'm happy to hear them in the comment section...

My questions are...guys have you ever tried this? Did you get a call back?...and ladies if I would approach you like this in public ( now keep in mind I look so much better in real life

) would you call me/text me back ?

Think I’d be

A. Dumbfounded that you approached me.

B. I’d be in touch and message you back - thanking you for being polite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve had a woman ask for my number and still not call/text me so I’d still have the fear of rejection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd probably think you doing it as a dare/taking the piss and not reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It sounds like it'd work some of the time, but everyone will think and feel differently when on the receiving end of this.

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By *oodles09Woman
over a year ago

Newark

I think just good old fashioned conversation works. So if in a bar a simple arebyou having a good night.....bodh language and reaction tells you the rest.

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By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

I agree with above and assume your mate had dared you

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By *agic.M OP Man
over a year ago

Orpington

"I'd probably think you doing it as a dare/taking the piss and not reply. "

Fair enough...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I probably wouldn't get in touch. As others have said I'd find it a bit abrupt and assume it was a joke. Also you're still a complete stranger, I'd prefer to chat to someone a while and get a feel for them and see if there's chemistry before committing to engaging with them by giving out personal details.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Sounds good although I would probably think you were giving your name and number out to numerous females that night and not just me.

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By *r AnalyticMan
over a year ago

Nuneaton

Eye contact in person. Read them see if they are looking your way. Dont look creepy doing it.

On here I use the wink.

Both ways are polite shows you like what you see without even saying one word.

But also I know some don't like or use winks so I message only if what I've read on there bio is someone I wanna get to know.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It's a long time since I've been approached but men used to just start talking.

"Hi how are you?"

" I'm good thanks, you?"

Blah de blah general chat and flirting

"Would you like to go out for a drink?"

"No thanks/yes please "

Done!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

How were you approaching women before?! (Before you got your fear of doing it obviously)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think just good old fashioned conversation works. So if in a bar a simple arebyou having a good night.....bodh language and reaction tells you the rest. "

The best way just keep it natural. It’s all about reading body language

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By *idlandiaMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Sounds good although I would probably think you were giving your name and number out to numerous females that night and not just me."

Granted I'm.a guy, but this was my first thought too.

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By *hil most chillMan
over a year ago

South East & Europe

"Sounds good although I would probably think you were giving your name and number out to numerous females that night and not just me."

Wait, should I cancel my order of business cards then??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Still wait on the TLDR

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By *oodles09Woman
over a year ago

Newark

"Eye contact in person. Read them see if they are looking your way. Dont look creepy doing it.

On here I use the wink.

Both ways are polite shows you like what you see without even saying one word.

Must admit I pay 0 attention to winks on here...a message does the trick

But also I know some don't like or use winks so I message only if what I've read on there bio is someone I wanna get to know."

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By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

I think the art of dating/approaching people has been badly lost among this modern era of social media etc.

I’m older than you and this post made me think of how it worked back in my clubbing days.

Even the art of politely introducing oneself seems to have been lost ( and I don’t just mean dating! The amount of times i’ve pulled up people calling me in an OFFICIAL capacity for not bothering to introduce themselves - basic manners)

Introduce yourself, “I’m Dave, I’m from (approx area no need to give co-ordinates!), I really like this pub/club/music track playing do you like it?”

Small talk abilities also lost.

Have a chat, you’ll soon pick up if they’re attracted or not and can then exchange numbers or whatever.

Seriously anyone running a class on this stuff would make a fortune at the moment! People no longer seem to know how to conduct themselves.

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By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Yes to eye contact, speaking clearly, LISTENING to what they say back

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By *oodles09Woman
over a year ago

Newark

Totally agree. Conversation is foreplay to me and I just don't seem to be able to find it...so many messages from guys on here straight to....wanna fuck? I'd love my cock in your tits...etc etc etc....how about hello how are you lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Still wait on the TLDR"

Ways to approach a woman you like in a bar…

Either introduce yourself and apologise for disturbing her. Or give her a note with your details on and way for her to contact you…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think just good old fashioned conversation works. So if in a bar a simple arebyou having a good night.....bodh language and reaction tells you the rest. "

This.

If some random guy walked up to me and gave me his number then walked off, I wouldn't call him, even if he was absolutely gorgeous.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think just good old fashioned conversation works. So if in a bar a simple arebyou having a good night.....bodh language and reaction tells you the rest.

This.

If some random guy walked up to me and gave me his number then walked off, I wouldn't call him, even if he was absolutely gorgeous.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Still wait on the TLDR

Ways to approach a woman you like in a bar…

Either introduce yourself and apologise for disturbing her. Or give her a note with your details on and way for her to contact you…"

I wouldn’t do either of these because of my anxiety but sound like fair ideas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think just good old fashioned conversation works. So if in a bar a simple arebyou having a good night.....bodh language and reaction tells you the rest.

This.

If some random guy walked up to me and gave me his number then walked off, I wouldn't call him, even if he was absolutely gorgeous.

Don't laugh you!

I'd need to have some convo with him. He might be gorgeous but a dick right from the start and without any conversation I'd have no idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's all open to substituting various parts but the keys bits would be:

Don't crowd her/make it creepy and back off asap if she backs away or turns away AT ALL

You'll startle her I'd guess so take a beat & read her body language after she pays proper attention

When you've planted a flirty seed, 100% back off and give her control, point out where you are sat and make a calculated retreat. She'll be able to see you're not fronting up to the entire bar and a bit of an eye fuck (NOT creepy leering) would be hot if you know what you're at

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think just good old fashioned conversation works. So if in a bar a simple arebyou having a good night.....bodh language and reaction tells you the rest.

This.

If some random guy walked up to me and gave me his number then walked off, I wouldn't call him, even if he was absolutely gorgeous.

Don't laugh you!

I'd need to have some convo with him. He might be gorgeous but a dick right from the start and without any conversation I'd have no idea. "

Exactly the art of conversation is dying sadly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Still wait on the TLDR

Ways to approach a woman you like in a bar…

Either introduce yourself and apologise for disturbing her. Or give her a note with your details on and way for her to contact you…"

Nice one. I ask closed questions in the first instance because I can talk for England. I feel more confident speaking to groups of women than single women

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By *oodles09Woman
over a year ago

Newark

Very sadly dying!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a long time since I've been approached but men used to just start talking.

"Hi how are you?"

" I'm good thanks, you?"

Blah de blah general chat and flirting

"Would you like to go out for a drink?"

"No thanks/yes please "

Done!"
exactly why over complicate something

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By *agic.M OP Man
over a year ago

Orpington

Cool...well the comments definitely curved my enthusiasm about this

. I shall stick to NEVER approaching women in public (and let them approach me if they want - has worked OK so far). Note to self...never take dating advice from your female friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That actually sounds quite hot. I would love it if guys did this. It such a shame… all I get is an unsolicited arse grab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cool...well the comments definitely curved my enthusiasm about this

. I shall stick to NEVER approaching women in public (and let them approach me if they want - has worked OK so far). Note to self...never take dating advice from your female friends

Also maybe don't take advice from females off fab?

I mean aside from the fact it wouldn't work on me,but then again you wouldn't be doing it to me, I don't see anything wrong with that way.

Women are so dam picky wanting the guy to do xy and z

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By *candiumWoman
over a year ago

oban

I've never been approached by a guy in that sort of situation so I'd assume it was a pisstake.

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By *agic.M OP Man
over a year ago

Orpington

"Cool...well the comments definitely curved my enthusiasm about this

. I shall stick to NEVER approaching women in public (and let them approach me if they want - has worked OK so far). Note to self...never take dating advice from your female friends

Also maybe don't take advice from females off fab?

I mean aside from the fact it wouldn't work on me,but then again you wouldn't be doing it to me, I don't see anything wrong with that way.

Women are so dam picky wanting the guy to do xy and z

Are you saying that the women on fab give better advice?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can practice on me

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By *oeofsussexMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne

I’ve never dared to chat up a lady in my entire life as I was taught by my very strict parents that it was dishonorable behaviour. So, finding out that a girl I’d really admired from Uni days was back in the UK and I’d got her address as I’d found it easier to keep in touch with her sister, I stayed up for three hours in bed one night writing to her, basically outlining my entire CV, hoping to impress, and asking if we could meet up. 18 months later we were married! I actually upgraded her from gf to fiancee in 2 weeks flat!

So, the lesson is, if you know her address, write a really long letter. Design it like a CV giving details of all your best qualifications and qualities. She can read it all at home in the comfort of her own space and treat it as a job application. If you bore her, fine, it gets binned. But she might just interview you and you get the job!

It worked for me!

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By *iromancergirl1Woman
over a year ago

bolton

I would absolutely call/text you based on that approach I think that’s a great idea.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

If at before step 1 he saw that my body language was open to him I'd be happy with that approach.

If however he ignored my leave me alone body language and still approached me I'd be pretty pissed off and start with the No Thank You before he'd even got to introducing himself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Recently I had a conversation with a friend and we ended up on the topic of why I don't approach women...so this is what she said ...

"Here's how you can approach a woman without making her feel uncomfortable...

Step 1. Go to her and introduce yourself ..."Hi my name is so and so.."

So after hearing that I went silent for a few seconds

...and actually allowed my braincells to do their job, and I thought to myself..."you know what that actually makes some sense..."

Now I know there are counter arguments for this (like having to have a piece of paper and pen with you at all time...) and I'm happy to hear them in the comment section...

My questions are...guys have you ever tried this? Did you get a call back?...and ladies if I would approach you like this in public ( now keep in mind I look so much better in real life

) would you call me/text me back ?

Yes! And can we forgoe the drink and faf???

*Then she woke up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t know if it’s just me, but personally when I approach a woman I feel nothing but excitement. Who knows where that encounter might lead to? You just never know. So, instead of letting one moment define how you feel about rejection, face it with open arms and use the excitement you feel to pursue what you desire.

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By *agic.M OP Man
over a year ago

Orpington

"I don’t know if it’s just me, but personally when I approach a woman I feel nothing but excitement. Who knows where that encounter might lead to? You just never know. So, instead of letting one moment define how you feel about rejection, face it with open arms and use the excitement you feel to pursue what you desire. "

Not everyone is "brain wired" that way my friend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not everyone is "brain wired" that way my friend

Gangbangs don't happen by themselves

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

That all sounds a bit socially awkward

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you’ve been overthinking this

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By *arcosaMan
over a year ago

London

I think I'll stick to the chloroform, if that's ok

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/09/22 21:36:06]

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By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

In its favour, this approach cut outs the toe-curling awkwardness of striking up a conversation with a stranger in a public place. But that's kind of its weakness.

Now, I'm all for cutting to the chase but wouldn't it be better to at least see if there's some kind of rapport before giving out your number?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My advice is don’t do that..you’ll come across as a weirdo

Then again my advice ain’t the best

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

Just remember that if you're going to feed them, do it with a flat palm or they might bite your fingers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just remember that if you're going to feed them, do it with a flat palm or they might bite your fingers."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This actually provoked me to think about how many women that I have approached in public and I realized that it is none. Not one. Every single encounter or relationship has been them approaching me, making the first move or it just sort of occurred by itself. Every single memory I have gone out with mates "on the pull" have resulted in me just people watching and really not being arsed.

FWIW I believe the less you look for it the more likely it is a connection will just happen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you came up to me in this approach of introducing yourself and leaving contact details I'd be dumbfounded and think you've got the wrong person, I don't think I'd contact you as I think "he's not in his right mind looking my way" as no one does.

But good luck to you, you are a catch.

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By *agic.M OP Man
over a year ago

Orpington

"I think you’ve been overthinking this "

How right you are...

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By *agic.M OP Man
over a year ago

Orpington

"This actually provoked me to think about how many women that I have approached in public and I realized that it is none. Not one. Every single encounter or relationship has been them approaching me, making the first move or it just sort of occurred by itself. Every single memory I have gone out with mates "on the pull" have resulted in me just people watching and really not being arsed.

FWIW I believe the less you look for it the more likely it is a connection will just happen"

I agree with this ... women should approach men

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By *unningFoxWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

If someone who I find attractive did this I would text or call. This approach would leave me feeling in a way safe because I’m in control and also I do not need to stop my evening with friends and come up with answer of yes or no and it’s best way to meet someone as they have seen me in real life, they liked what they saw and decided to approach as most dating profiles can be misleading.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to enjoy the days of being able to ask a bloke for a light in the pub. Was always a good convo starter regardless of if he smoked or not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actually the number thing reminds me of years ago when my at the time window cleaner asked if he could fill up his bucket in my kitchen (which I found weird), and presented me with his number. Which I thought was even weirder... Never did call him of course. Starting to suspect maybe he was hitting on me

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By *agic.M OP Man
over a year ago

Orpington

"If someone who I find attractive did this I would text or call. This approach would leave me feeling in a way safe because I’m in control and also I do not need to stop my evening with friends and come up with answer of yes or no and it’s best way to meet someone as they have seen me in real life, they liked what they saw and decided to approach as most dating profiles can be misleading. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I used to enjoy the days of being able to ask a bloke for a light in the pub. Was always a good convo starter regardless of if he smoked or not

That's how ma Bad Bitch plays things! Gives her a chance to suss people out and she can stay or walk easily without offending

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Actually the number thing reminds me of years ago when my at the time window cleaner asked if he could fill up his bucket in my kitchen (which I found weird), and presented me with his number. Which I thought was even weirder... Never did call him of course. Starting to suspect maybe he was hitting on me

"fill his bucket in your kitchen" he was gagging for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"fill his bucket in your kitchen" he was gagging for it. "

If he was a plumber he would have asked if he could loosen his nuts in her kitchen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"fill his bucket in your kitchen" he was gagging for it.

If he was a plumber he would have asked if he could loosen his nuts in her kitchen

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

How is the woman meant to decide whether to reply or not? Analyse your handwriting? Its a bit corny too if nothing else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cool...well the comments definitely curved my enthusiasm about this

. I shall stick to NEVER approaching women in public (and let them approach me if they want - has worked OK so far). Note to self...never take dating advice from your female friends

That’s a shame as it will work with some, not with others. I had someone do exactly that whilst out shopping and I texted him back. Didn’t lead to anything as he admitted he was married and was looking for NSA but the principle worked!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As with anything to do with the dating game, the cold hard truth will always be that the more attractive / fit / desirable you are, the more likely whatever tactic you use is likely to succeed.

Attractive man throws you a compliment : it’s hot flirting.

Unattractive man throws you a compliment : it’s creepy harassment.

It’s the way it’s always been, and the way it always will be.

That being said, a non-threatening friendly approach is always (well mostly always

) going to be better than a direct intimidating approach.

Just don’t be a dick, one of life’s simple rules!

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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

I walk up to her and say

“I can tell by the way you peeing me,

That you haven’t been satisfied recently,

Haven’t been with a long dick freak like me,

If that’s what you want, you in luck tonight

”

Hahaha works every time! Try it lads

Pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As with anything to do with the dating game, the cold hard truth will always be that the more attractive / fit / desirable you are, the more likely whatever tactic you use is likely to succeed.

Attractive man throws you a compliment : it’s hot flirting.

Unattractive man throws you a compliment : it’s creepy harassment.

It’s the way it’s always been, and the way it always will be.

That being said, a non-threatening friendly approach is always (well mostly always

) going to be better than a direct intimidating approach.

Just don’t be a dick, one of life’s simple rules!

I'd much rather just a friendly approach than a more formal "wanna go for a drink". It's much easier to have a laugh and a chat with a guy than to feel that he's coming onto me. And I think it's less pressure for people too.

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By *ixedDevilMan
over a year ago

Bootyville

Yes I do this if I find a woman attractive. A lot of the time they like my confidence as not many people do this. But I say whats the worst that can happen when using this approach? You get rejected? So what!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, I bet you don't need to put effort in, probably wading through a sea of clunge!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP, I bet you don't need to put effort in, probably wading through a sea of clunge!

Ooo seas of clunge

Sent shivers down me spine that did!

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By *r AnalyticMan
over a year ago

Nuneaton

I've worked out.

Grab a table in a bar or club.

Unravel the tablecloth

Place four items on the table

A luxury bar of chocolate

A expensive bottle of wine

A elegant prepared meal

A packet of condoms.

This will cover all bases for all women somebody will come up and want to talk to you.

The art of conversation has been lost there are a few people who don't like to be out of their comfort zone.

It's all about confidence and not creepy. Rejection is part of life.

It's the way you deal with it that is more memorable.

You introduce yourself to a woman or man see how they react see if they want to engage. If not just walk away.

But people do over think and hate rejection which the predominantly means that you're not confident.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I have done it twice that I can think of.

Once was just somebody I saw and handed her a message. The other was after chatting for a while and helping her make paper chains on the train for an office birthday party!

Neither called me. Luke

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

"I think just good old fashioned conversation works. So if in a bar a simple arebyou having a good night.....bodh language and reaction tells you the rest. "

The old ways are the best ways. I genuinely don’t know why people seem scared of saying hello.

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By *agic.M OP Man
over a year ago

Orpington

"OP, I bet you don't need to put effort in, probably wading through a sea of clunge!

I actually had to Google what Clunge meant

...and no, it's not really like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP, I bet you don't need to put effort in, probably wading through a sea of clunge!

I actually had to Google what Clunge meant

...and no, it's not really like that

*Hangs head in shame for turning into The Inbetweeners briefly*

Social awkwardness is a real thing, but maybe keep it a bit more low key, keep your body language open, remember to make eye contact, thats the biggest guage of attraction x

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By *ister CMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Recently I had a conversation with a friend and we ended up on the topic of why I don't approach women...so this is what she said ...

"Here's how you can approach a woman without making her feel uncomfortable...

Step 1. Go to her and introduce yourself ..."Hi my name is so and so.."

So after hearing that I went silent for a few seconds

...and actually allowed my braincells to do their job, and I thought to myself..."you know what that actually makes some sense..."

Now I know there are counter arguments for this (like having to have a piece of paper and pen with you at all time...) and I'm happy to hear them in the comment section...

My questions are...guys have you ever tried this? Did you get a call back?...and ladies if I would approach you like this in public ( now keep in mind I look so much better in real life

) would you call me/text me back ?

Seems a bit Hugh grant formal and foppish for me... I think you could do it more organically in any given situation...no?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id do alright if i were arsed to dunno the full op couldnt be arsed to read past first bit mind you

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By *agic.M OP Man
over a year ago

Orpington

"OP, I bet you don't need to put effort in, probably wading through a sea of clunge!

I actually had to Google what Clunge meant

...and no, it's not really like that

*Hangs head in shame for turning into The Inbetweeners briefly*

Social awkwardness is a real thing, but maybe keep it a bit more low key, keep your body language open, remember to make eye contact, thats the biggest guage of attraction x"

Wait what? Social awkwardness ?That's not what this post is about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP, I bet you don't need to put effort in, probably wading through a sea of clunge!

I actually had to Google what Clunge meant

...and no, it's not really like that

*Hangs head in shame for turning into The Inbetweeners briefly*

Social awkwardness is a real thing, but maybe keep it a bit more low key, keep your body language open, remember to make eye contact, thats the biggest guage of attraction x

Wait what? Social awkwardness ?That's not what this post is about"

Well it sure sounds like it!

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

"I think just good old fashioned conversation works. So if in a bar a simple arebyou having a good night.....bodh language and reaction tells you the rest.

...It’s all about reading body language

•

What if she's wearing a burqa, Monty? I can't decipher a damn thing when they're wearing one of those in a Gin bar.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

"I've worked out.

Grab a table in a bar or club.

Unravel the tablecloth

Place four items on the table

A luxury bar of chocolate

A expensive bottle of wine

A elegant prepared meal

A packet of condoms.

This will cover all bases for all women somebody will come up and want to talk to you.

The art of conversation has been lost there are a few people who don't like to be out of their comfort zone.

It's all about confidence and not creepy. Rejection is part of life.

It's the way you deal with it that is more memorable.

You introduce yourself to a woman or man see how they react see if they want to engage. If not just walk away.

But people do over think and hate rejection which the predominantly means that you're not confident."

•

Pah! I think you're misinformed: do you know how hard it is to find a decent tablecloth these days?

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"I've worked out.

Grab a table in a bar or club.

Unravel the tablecloth

Place four items on the table

A luxury bar of chocolate

A expensive bottle of wine

A elegant prepared meal

A packet of condoms.

This will cover all bases for all women somebody will come up and want to talk to you.

The art of conversation has been lost there are a few people who don't like to be out of their comfort zone.

It's all about confidence and not creepy. Rejection is part of life.

It's the way you deal with it that is more memorable.

You introduce yourself to a woman or man see how they react see if they want to engage. If not just walk away.

But people do over think and hate rejection which the predominantly means that you're not confident."

Do you hum some sort of stage magician music while you're putting all these things out?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See I just think of you see someone you like, just go up and say hi, how are you? Are you having a good night, the band are good etc and I reckon after a few minutes you will know if the lady wants to chat. Or if at a bar waiting to get a drink just ask how the night is going etc

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"See I just think of you see someone you like, just go up and say hi, how are you? Are you having a good night, the band are good etc and I reckon after a few minutes you will know if the lady wants to chat. Or if at a bar waiting to get a drink just ask how the night is going etc

"
I think this is the best approach

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had this happen to me. I was in a restaurant and a woman walked past my table and left a piece of paper. I thought it was the waiter but when I looked at the piece of paper it was a shopping receipt. She'd scribbled a message and her mobile number. I didn't call as I hadn't even seen her properly. Had we spoken it might have been different.

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By *eisty LadyWoman
over a year ago

Count Your Blessings Cottage, Gratitude Grove

Grief, seems horrendous advice.

Bunging someone a note after saying to a random stranger she’s attractive (beauty is actually on the inside not the outside) when perhaps she isn’t attractive or doesn’t feel that she is will just alienate her.

Having a random stranger pass his pre-written number to me especially after no conversation ensures one thing - a swift get away and the number goes in the bin

Just strike up ordinary conversation with her, if she continues with the chat she’s either interested or just being friendly. Either way you’ll get a feel as to where it’s going and if you want to take things further by observing body language and eye contact

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By *ensualPleasure96Man
over a year ago

Dunstable

The good old lighter trick always works

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Way too much messing around for me it's supposed to be fun you start randomly chatting or having a laugh about some shit and it goes however it will go no point in following a script or pretending you're someone you're not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's a great way to approach women. It gives them a chance to think about it without any pressure. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd just make her laugh. Always seems to work!!

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By *rmainman10Man
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"I'd just make her laugh. Always seems to work!!"

Agree.. make the laugh... Good eye contact and smile alot

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By *nked and Ms InkedCouple
over a year ago

nr wrexham

Just say hi, make general chit chat, and if the conversation seems to naturally flow, go from there.

I remember being out with my mate, now she was stunning, slim, long blond hair, natural big boobs, and some guy approached our table. Used to being ignored I didn’t pay much attention, until he stood in front of me, and very politely said “can I just say, you’ve got gorgeous eyes” and then walked back to his mate/table. I’ll be honest, I was flattered but also thought it must be a piss take. Especially with my mate next to me. So, I’d probably assume it was the same if you approached me and gave me your number.

We can all be a bit socially awkward and lacking in confidence, so it’s always best to let the person know you’re actually interested, by giving them your time there and then. Talk to them, as it could also be a knock to your confidence if giving out your number led to no texts/calls, as women assume you’re not being serious so don’t contact you, or don’t have the confidence to do it xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I used to enjoy the days of being able to ask a bloke for a light in the pub. Was always a good convo starter regardless of if he smoked or not

Women do this fr? Not a fan of smoking so it wouldn’t be a good start

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Recently I had a conversation with a friend and we ended up on the topic of why I don't approach women...so this is what she said ...

"Here's how you can approach a woman without making her feel uncomfortable...

Step 1. Go to her and introduce yourself ..."Hi my name is so and so.."

So after hearing that I went silent for a few seconds

...and actually allowed my braincells to do their job, and I thought to myself..."you know what that actually makes some sense..."

Now I know there are counter arguments for this (like having to have a piece of paper and pen with you at all time...) and I'm happy to hear them in the comment section...

My questions are...guys have you ever tried this? Did you get a call back?...and ladies if I would approach you like this in public ( now keep in mind I look so much better in real life

) would you call me/text me back ?

This approach may work with some women. Some women it wouldn’t work with. When I was in my mid 30s, I was told I was quite good looking. I didn’t need any help in this department. I was quite popular with the ladies

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By *R.UpForFunMan
over a year ago

port talbot

Just walk up and smile and tell her you are going for a line in the toilet and does she care to join you.. if she agrees you know your going to get it on as she is a whore

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Deal with the fear of rehection. It will permeate you at all times and be noticeable. Vulnerability is natural and fine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had this happen to me. I was in a restaurant and a woman walked past my table and left a piece of paper. I thought it was the waiter but when I looked at the piece of paper it was a shopping receipt. She'd scribbled a message and her mobile number. I didn't call as I hadn't even seen her properly. Had we spoken it might have been different."

Was it a receipt for cucumbers, rope and lube?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I used to enjoy the days of being able to ask a bloke for a light in the pub. Was always a good convo starter regardless of if he smoked or not

Women do this fr? Not a fan of smoking so it wouldn’t be a good start "

In my case this was more like 20 odd years ago! I don't smoke myself these days... I'm old though so can recall the pre smoking in pubs ban

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think just good old fashioned conversation works. So if in a bar a simple arebyou having a good night.....bodh language and reaction tells you the rest.

The best way just keep it natural. It’s all about reading body language

( Mrs) there you go , you’ve sussed fella

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Recently I had a conversation with a friend and we ended up on the topic of why I don't approach women...so this is what she said ...

"Here's how you can approach a woman without making her feel uncomfortable...

Step 1. Go to her and introduce yourself ..."Hi my name is so and so.."

So after hearing that I went silent for a few seconds

...and actually allowed my braincells to do their job, and I thought to myself..."you know what that actually makes some sense..."

Now I know there are counter arguments for this (like having to have a piece of paper and pen with you at all time...) and I'm happy to hear them in the comment section...

My questions are...guys have you ever tried this? Did you get a call back?...and ladies if I would approach you like this in public ( now keep in mind I look so much better in real life

) would you call me/text me back ?

I wouldn't call. The minimal interaction you describe would make me assume that you were handing out bits of paper to every woman in the street.

Talk to women like they're people. Like Compersion said, pay attention to her body language. If she's giving negative vibes she wants to be left alone. So leave her alone.

If you actually talk to her you are already making more of an effort than the type of men who won't spend time reading forum posts or profiles.

Women (and men, etc) are human beings... not tick boxes.

A note with contact details is the same as a "hi" or "wuu2 bbe" message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I used to enjoy the days of being able to ask a bloke for a light in the pub. Was always a good convo starter regardless of if he smoked or not

Women do this fr? Not a fan of smoking so it wouldn’t be a good start

In my case this was more like 20 odd years ago! I don't smoke myself these days... I'm old though so can recall the pre smoking in pubs ban

Ask for hand sanitizer next time because everybody washes their hands

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

No I wouldn't like this approach personally, still too in your face and abrupt. You should learn to read body language when approaching someone you're attracted to. People give off certain body language if they find someone sexually attractive. Then talk to them like an fair equal. If the conversation flows, follow it on by asking politely for her number. If she declines for any particular reason, at least you had a lovely chat with an attractive stranger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where has the OP said that he is socially awkward or vulnerable or has trouble meeting women? All he did was share a suggested way to approach women and ask for opinions.

I don't approach men. Doesn't mean I'm any of those things. Any more than he is.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"Where has the OP said that he is socially awkward or vulnerable or has trouble meeting women? All he did was share a suggested way to approach women and ask for opinions.

I don't approach men. Doesn't mean I'm any of those things. Any more than he is. "

He hasn't

But the scenario sounds socially awkward

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Where has the OP said that he is socially awkward or vulnerable or has trouble meeting women? All he did was share a suggested way to approach women and ask for opinions.

I don't approach men. Doesn't mean I'm any of those things. Any more than he is.

He hasn't

But the scenario sounds socially awkward "

Some women liked the idea. Some didn't. But it's not a thread about being socially awkward with women and unfair to label him that way.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

[Removed by poster at 03/09/22 08:50:24]

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

I mean if I was an Adonis with the most perfect face this might actually work. Unfortunately I have to do some work and try to show some personality so that wouldn't work for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Where has the OP said that he is socially awkward or vulnerable or has trouble meeting women? All he did was share a suggested way to approach women and ask for opinions.

I don't approach men. Doesn't mean I'm any of those things. Any more than he is.

He hasn't

But the scenario sounds socially awkward

Some women liked the idea. Some didn't. But it's not a thread about being socially awkward with women and unfair to label him that way. "

Who labelled him as socially awkward? I only saw one reference to that term above and the lady certainly did not call him socially awkward....she actually said 'We can all be socially awkward' meaning that is her interpretation of it.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Sorry but that’s a terrible way of doing it if you want to actually meet someone. Most women are too scared to ask for extra ketchup at McDonald’s. They’ll never call you, and plus, why would they, they know nothing about you

The way to approach women in public is treating them like anyone else. Be polite and read the signs. You can tell pretty quick when someone isn’t open to chatting and you make you excuse and leave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry but that’s a terrible way of doing it if you want to actually meet someone. Most women are too scared to ask for extra ketchup at McDonald’s. They’ll never call you, and plus, why would they, they know nothing about you

The way to approach women in public is treating them like anyone else. Be polite and read the signs. You can tell pretty quick when someone isn’t open to chatting and you make you excuse and leave "

I ask for extra ketchup and BBQ sauce.

Go me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Where has the OP said that he is socially awkward or vulnerable or has trouble meeting women? All he did was share a suggested way to approach women and ask for opinions.

I don't approach men. Doesn't mean I'm any of those things. Any more than he is.

He hasn't

But the scenario sounds socially awkward

Some women liked the idea. Some didn't. But it's not a thread about being socially awkward with women and unfair to label him that way.

More than one reference.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most women are too scared to ask for extra ketchup." Stop trolling

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

The way to approach women in public is treating them like anyone else. Be polite and read the signs. You can tell pretty quick when someone isn’t open to chatting and you make you excuse and leave

"Most women are too scared to ask for extra ketchup." Stop trolling

Is that trolling these days? My bad. Truth though. Most women won’t even message furst on here, he thinks they’re gonna take the lead and call a strangers number

Is saying being polite and read the signs trolling too?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Where has the OP said that he is socially awkward or vulnerable or has trouble meeting women? All he did was share a suggested way to approach women and ask for opinions.

I don't approach men. Doesn't mean I'm any of those things. Any more than he is.

He hasn't

But the scenario sounds socially awkward

Some women liked the idea. Some didn't. But it's not a thread about being socially awkward with women and unfair to label him that way.

More than one reference. "

And again, nobody called him socially awkward

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So to conclude.

Women make zero effort but want all the effort.

Men, whatever you do is wrong.

Ah isn't the single life awesome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The way to approach women in public is treating them like anyone else. Be polite and read the signs. You can tell pretty quick when someone isn’t open to chatting and you make you excuse and leave

"Most women are too scared to ask for extra ketchup." Stop trolling

Is that trolling these days? My bad. Truth though. Most women won’t even message furst on here, he thinks they’re gonna take the lead and call a strangers number

Is saying being polite and read the signs trolling too?

Of course it isn't and you've said nothing out of turn, I could see it was an analogy

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By *ooroo2019Woman
over a year ago

Chester

I have a friend who had something similar happen. She was in the supermarket and kept passing a guy and they smiled at each other. He approached her at the till with a piece of paper that said ‘I think you’re really beautiful’ it had his name and number written on it.

She text him, they chatted for a bit. Then he revealed he was married, so that was the end of that. But as an approach if worked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So to conclude.

Women make zero effort but want all the effort.

Men, whatever you do is wrong.

Ah isn't the single life awesome

I couldn't be arsed to read the whole thread so thanks for the quick ketchup.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

The way to approach women in public is treating them like anyone else. Be polite and read the signs. You can tell pretty quick when someone isn’t open to chatting and you make you excuse and leave

"Most women are too scared to ask for extra ketchup." Stop trolling

Is that trolling these days? My bad. Truth though. Most women won’t even message furst on here, he thinks they’re gonna take the lead and call a strangers number

Is saying being polite and read the signs trolling too?

Of course it isn't and you've said nothing out of turn, I could see it was an analogy "

A quick scroll up and I can see someone woke up angry and is looking to argue. Nah I’m alright

Guys, number 1 tip for talking to girls in public

Start talking to everyone. You stand silently in queue, silently at a bus stop, you look at your phone whenever your alone. Then you expect to suddenly engage with a woman because you wanna fuck her?

Chat to everyone. Make conversation. Be human. Then one of those people will be a woman you fancy and she’d gonna sense an authentic version of you. A real conversation. And it’ll go great

Just remember to read the signs. Short answers, closed body language, look for the signs she’s uncomfortable and just wish her a good day and excuse yourself. Never push if they are giving off those kinda vibes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The way to approach women in public is treating them like anyone else. Be polite and read the signs. You can tell pretty quick when someone isn’t open to chatting and you make you excuse and leave

"Most women are too scared to ask for extra ketchup." Stop trolling

Is that trolling these days? My bad. Truth though. Most women won’t even message furst on here, he thinks they’re gonna take the lead and call a strangers number

Is saying being polite and read the signs trolling too?

You just like making outrageous statements about women that you don't even believe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Where has the OP said that he is socially awkward or vulnerable or has trouble meeting women? All he did was share a suggested way to approach women and ask for opinions.

I don't approach men. Doesn't mean I'm any of those things. Any more than he is.

He hasn't

But the scenario sounds socially awkward

Some women liked the idea. Some didn't. But it's not a thread about being socially awkward with women and unfair to label him that way.

More than one reference.

And again, nobody called him socially awkward "

That wasn't my interpretation. We disagree. Which is fine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So to conclude.

Women make zero effort but want all the effort.

Men, whatever you do is wrong.

Ah isn't the single life awesome

I couldn't be arsed to read the whole thread so thanks for the quick ketchup.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The way to approach women in public is treating them like anyone else. Be polite and read the signs. You can tell pretty quick when someone isn’t open to chatting and you make you excuse and leave

"Most women are too scared to ask for extra ketchup." Stop trolling

Is that trolling these days? My bad. Truth though. Most women won’t even message furst on here, he thinks they’re gonna take the lead and call a strangers number

Is saying being polite and read the signs trolling too?

Of course it isn't and you've said nothing out of turn, I could see it was an analogy

A quick scroll up and I can see someone woke up angry and is looking to argue. Nah I’m alright

Guys, number 1 tip for talking to girls in public

Start talking to everyone. You stand silently in queue, silently at a bus stop, you look at your phone whenever your alone. Then you expect to suddenly engage with a woman because you wanna fuck her?

Chat to everyone. Make conversation. Be human. Then one of those people will be a woman you fancy and she’d gonna sense an authentic version of you. A real conversation. And it’ll go great

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A quick scroll up and I can see someone woke up angry and is looking to argue. Nah I’m alright

Guys, number 1 tip for talking to girls in public

Start talking to everyone. You stand silently in queue, silently at a bus stop, you look at your phone whenever your alone. Then you expect to suddenly engage with a woman because you wanna fuck her?

Chat to everyone. Make conversation. Be human. Then one of those people will be a woman you fancy and she’d gonna sense an authentic version of you. A real conversation. And it’ll go great

No, not looking to argue. I just objected to that statement about women.

I think your comment is really good advice. People should just talk to each other.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

A quick scroll up and I can see someone woke up angry and is looking to argue. Nah I’m alright

Guys, number 1 tip for talking to girls in public

Start talking to everyone. You stand silently in queue, silently at a bus stop, you look at your phone whenever your alone. Then you expect to suddenly engage with a woman because you wanna fuck her?

Chat to everyone. Make conversation. Be human. Then one of those people will be a woman you fancy and she’d gonna sense an authentic version of you. A real conversation. And it’ll go great

No, not looking to argue. I just objected to that statement about women.

I think your comment is really good advice. People should just talk to each other. "

The fact that it was the only thing you picked up on and dismissed the rest, when others could clearly see it’s not an absolutely, super serious statement, it was just to make the point that they are t going to engage first, just gives me the impression you woke up on the wrong side of the bed

Hope things get better today

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

doent feel great to me. may work if you are a good looking guy and you do it in a authentic and confident way, but I suspect in many cases it will just be ignored.

I would also say that no call is a rejection... I suspect your fear is more like public rejection or something similar. And if you do this in a unconfident and nervous way whether it will still be creepy

my advice is always the same. practice talking to people. Anyone. Everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A quick scroll up and I can see someone woke up angry and is looking to argue. Nah I’m alright

Guys, number 1 tip for talking to girls in public

Start talking to everyone. You stand silently in queue, silently at a bus stop, you look at your phone whenever your alone. Then you expect to suddenly engage with a woman because you wanna fuck her?

Chat to everyone. Make conversation. Be human. Then one of those people will be a woman you fancy and she’d gonna sense an authentic version of you. A real conversation. And it’ll go great

No, not looking to argue. I just objected to that statement about women.

I think your comment is really good advice. People should just talk to each other.

Hope things get better today "

Your impression is incorrect. Have a good day.

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

"doent feel great to me. may work if you are a good looking guy and you do it in a authentic and confident way, but I suspect in many cases it will just be ignored.

my advice is always the same. practice talking to people. Anyone. Everyone."

The real advice

Maybe if some guys stopped acting like women were walking targets that they can woo with a seduction spell and drag back to their cave

And instead saw them as normal people that love a fun, authentic interaction

They’d probably have more success

If you cant tell the waiter your order is wrong, or start a conversation with some old guy at a bus stop, without feeling awkward/anxious, probs my best not to try chat up a pretty women. You might come off badly

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

I’d not like that.

A confident man who can have a basic conversation is absolutely a must for me.

Why would I randomly call a man who says I’m attractive but can’t talk to me face to face?

I’d find it incredibly presumptuous and believe it was only for a ONS.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

No.

I'd never call back.

Reasons?

Even if he was good looking, he did no more than give me a piece of paper , a quick look at him and then he went away...

So ... I still don't know him and wouldn't call back.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Even people in bars spend a few minutes chatting and deciding if they feel safe to continue

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

"No.

I'd never call back.

Reasons?

Even if he was good looking, he did no more than give me a piece of paper , a quick look at him and then he went away...

So ... I still don't know him and wouldn't call back. "

•

This seems to be the prevailing sentiment on here.

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By *vi8PairCouple
over a year ago

Greater London/ Manchester

I’d be horrified if I were ever approached like that. I am quite socially awkward in real life and I’d see that as barging in and invading my privacy/personal space. I’d be very uncomfortable and desperate to see a way to get out of that situation.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Even people in bars spend a few minutes chatting and deciding if they feel safe to continue"

I didn't find that at the club I went to..the men litterly came up to me "you're beautiful. Do you want to play?" At least with the phone number on paper, I get time to think about it rather than put on the spot. I always decline as the guy litterly came out of no where in a noisy club asking me to play!

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By *vi8PairCouple
over a year ago

Greater London/ Manchester

"I’d be horrified if I were ever approached like that. I am quite socially awkward in real life and I’d see that as barging in and invading my privacy/personal space. I’d be very uncomfortable and desperate to see a way to get out of that situation.

That is me, A- keep forgetting to sign, haha

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

"Even people in bars spend a few minutes chatting and deciding if they feel safe to continue

Speak to club hosts and find which events suit you best.

I like the way you were approached so it’s really difficult for single guys to at swingers clubs to know. Usually if you tell them you wanna chat first 99.9% of them are great xx

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By *oldyoudown41Man
over a year ago

caledonian

I like it OP but doing this in a social situation and on Fab I don’t see any difference , lived both lives and done the approach in both and the majority of ladies see genuine men as a push over or too eager and we are a dime a dozen…

Pointless at times , better to let us be approached and less of a chance of making fools out of ourselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have social media, does this still work if I give my fabswingers profile?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems too rehearsed to me. I'd rather a guy just chat to me.

I'd let him know if I was interested. I'm unlikely to call a stranger who I didn't even get to gauge what his personality was like.

I'm not adverse to approaching a man first if I like the look of him though. I've been knocked back at times of course, but so what, can't be for everyone.

Last guy who knocked me back, the next time I saw him we had a laugh about it.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Even people in bars spend a few minutes chatting and deciding if they feel safe to continue

I meant an ordinary every day run of the mill for everyone bar..... not a swingers club.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Look for subtle hints be it eye contact and/or smile. Be aware how you treat and talk to others be it friends in your company, at work, staff in shops, at the bar etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think the art of dating/approaching people has been badly lost among this modern era of social media etc.

I’m older than you and this post made me think of how it worked back in my clubbing days.

Introduce yourself, “I’m Dave, I’m from (approx area no need to give co-ordinates!), I really like this pub/club/music track playing do you like it?”

Small talk abilities also lost.

Have a chat, you’ll soon pick up if they’re attracted or not and can then exchange numbers or whatever.

Seriously anyone running a class on this stuff would make a fortune at the moment! People no longer seem to know how to conduct themselves. "

110% all the art form chat,eye contact. Basic introductions is lost.

And will get far worse,which will have more affects on people in many area's in years to come.

We all or most of that cause daily we are puahing it away and enforcing this new so called social form.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was always bashful as a young guy but since my mid forties I realise I’m a catch lol

It just that I’m ok looking, dress smart when I’m out but I’m happy talking to women

It’s that but that’s hard simply breaking the ice be casual don’t come over as trying too hard or desperate lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a friend who had something similar happen. She was in the supermarket and kept passing a guy and they smiled at each other. He approached her at the till with a piece of paper that said ‘I think you’re really beautiful’ it had his name and number written on it.

Sounds like the guy who approached me

as mentioned above. The concept can work as I think it shows the man doesn’t want to put the woman on the spot and expect an instant reply. Shame about the married bit though……

She text him, they chatted for a bit. Then he revealed he was married, so that was the end of that. But as an approach if worked."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had this happen recently, though I didn't take him up on it, I thought good on you, reminded me of the way it was pre internet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had this happen recently, though I didn't take him up on it, I thought good on you, reminded me of the way it was pre internet. "

All spur of the moment,then the present erodes away fast.

Pre internet times are a distant memory,we humans adapt to new styles and ways norms.

Many many emotions play the massive part!!

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"I agree with above and assume your mate had dared you

Or he actually could be a scammer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree with above and assume your mate had dared you

Or he actually could be a scammer "

Or works in marketing selling 500 business cards for £5

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By *oldyoudown41Man
over a year ago

caledonian

"I agree with above and assume your mate had dared you

Or he actually could be a scammer "

Haha , lots of scammers and time wasters on fab

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By *agic.M OP Man
over a year ago

Orpington

Well this went down the hill quickly. OK, thank you all for your lovely (and not so lovely) comments. The question was simple and in relation to the approach described by my friend (who is a woman if that was not obvious from the OP). The question for women was "would you like to be approached that way" ...the answer should be simple- yes/no (and the reasons why). The question for the men was " have you ever done this. And does it work" ...the answer should be simple yes/no / it works/it doesn't work . Nowhere in my OP did I ask for advice about approaching women...and for the life of me I don't understand how some people ended up talking about social awkwardness, confidence (or lack of), insecurities

(and assuming that's me). With all due respect...some of you need to stop making assumptions about people based on two words in a thread, get off the moral high ground and stop giving "advice" that has not been asked for...

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

A thread full of simple yes or no answers would have been far less interesting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A thread full of simple yes or no answers would have been far less interesting "

Yes

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

I’ll be honest and say I would rarely approach a women while out on a night out unless I was certain her tastes in activities matched mine otherwise we are just wasting each others time.

If I were going to approach someone it would be to strike up a conversation, and not just because I liked the look of them.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

Honestly, my reaction to this would go one of two ways depending on the man's demeanour when he gave me the note. Bear in mind that a snap judgement is all that can be made in an interaction that lasts a few seconds.

If he was more demure in manner, I'd assume (perhaps incorrectly) that he was either shy or socially awkward, and that going for a coffee with him would be hard work...if he can't even say hello and make small talk, conversation probably isn't going to flow well. In that case I wouldn't contact him.

Or, if he had a bit of a swagger, I'd probably (again perhaps wrongly) assume that he was a cocky git. In which case I'd be more inclined to get in touch, if only for the opportunity to engage in a spot of verbal repartee.

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

I don't get why any of the suggestions in the OP would make someone socially awkward!! A man in tescos carpark recently handed me a piece of paper with his number on and i actually thought smooth!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does anyone actually approach anyone else anymore without some sort of social media presence beforehand?

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By *ittle-Miss-Cunty-1Woman
over a year ago

Your basement, Cuntsville

Yes I would text back, if I didn't hear back within 24hrs I'd assume it was a joke and then block your number

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Recently I had a conversation with a friend and we ended up on the topic of why I don't approach women...so this is what she said ...

"Here's how you can approach a woman without making her feel uncomfortable...

Step 1. Go to her and introduce yourself ..."Hi my name is so and so.."

So after hearing that I went silent for a few seconds

...and actually allowed my braincells to do their job, and I thought to myself..."you know what that actually makes some sense..."

Now I know there are counter arguments for this (like having to have a piece of paper and pen with you at all time...) and I'm happy to hear them in the comment section...

My questions are...guys have you ever tried this? Did you get a call back?...and ladies if I would approach you like this in public ( now keep in mind I look so much better in real life

) would you call me/text me back ?

I hate hate hate being approached by men in public but for me this would probably be the best approach as there is no pressure for me to say there and then if I'm interested or not or to give out my number to someone I'm not sure about.

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By *ittle-Miss-Cunty-1Woman
over a year ago

Your basement, Cuntsville

"Yes I would text, rather than call if I didn't hear back within 24hrs I'd assume it was a joke and then block your number

Had to edit that

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By *astesLikeMagicWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle

I like it.

Takes the pressure off to decide and respond straight away.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Recently I had a conversation with a friend and we ended up on the topic of why I don't approach women...so this is what she said ...

"Here's how you can approach a woman without making her feel uncomfortable...

Step 1. Go to her and introduce yourself ..."Hi my name is so and so.."

So after hearing that I went silent for a few seconds

...and actually allowed my braincells to do their job, and I thought to myself..."you know what that actually makes some sense..."

Now I know there are counter arguments for this (like having to have a piece of paper and pen with you at all time...) and I'm happy to hear them in the comment section...

My questions are...guys have you ever tried this? Did you get a call back?...and ladies if I would approach you like this in public ( now keep in mind I look so much better in real life

) would you call me/text me back ?

"
.

If some random came up to you and gave you their number then vanished, how would you know you have any chemistry, or if you're interested enough to text or call back?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd never give my number to someone in a bar so handing her urs is the best idea. But use direct eye contact and when u hand it to her linger with the pass if there's a connection ull both feel it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Recently I had a conversation with a friend and we ended up on the topic of why I don't approach women...so this is what she said ...

"Here's how you can approach a woman without making her feel uncomfortable...

Step 1. Go to her and introduce yourself ..."Hi my name is so and so.."

So after hearing that I went silent for a few seconds

...and actually allowed my braincells to do their job, and I thought to myself..."you know what that actually makes some sense..."

Now I know there are counter arguments for this (like having to have a piece of paper and pen with you at all time...) and I'm happy to hear them in the comment section...

My questions are...guys have you ever tried this? Did you get a call back?...and ladies if I would approach you like this in public ( now keep in mind I look so much better in real life

) would you call me/text me back ?

If some random came up to you and gave you their number then vanished, how would you know you have any chemistry, or if you're interested enough to text or call back? "

Is he hot?

I'm calling back

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By *ittle-Miss-Cunty-1Woman
over a year ago

Your basement, Cuntsville

"If some random came up to you and gave you their number then vanished, how would you know you have any chemistry, or if you're interested enough to text or call back? "

Just like here, randoms message and we take the chance messaging back, if we hit it off then you arrange to meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Recently I had a conversation with a friend and we ended up on the topic of why I don't approach women...so this is what she said ...

"Here's how you can approach a woman without making her feel uncomfortable...

Step 1. Go to her and introduce yourself ..."Hi my name is so and so.."

So after hearing that I went silent for a few seconds

...and actually allowed my braincells to do their job, and I thought to myself..."you know what that actually makes some sense..."

Now I know there are counter arguments for this (like having to have a piece of paper and pen with you at all time...) and I'm happy to hear them in the comment section...

My questions are...guys have you ever tried this? Did you get a call back?...and ladies if I would approach you like this in public ( now keep in mind I look so much better in real life

) would you call me/text me back ?

If some random came up to you and gave you their number then vanished, how would you know you have any chemistry, or if you're interested enough to text or call back? "

His approach would show me that he is at least respectful enough not to try and force me to give him my number or any other details which is a green flag for me so I wouldn't have an issue taking the time in getting to know him for myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If some random came up to you and gave you their number then vanished, how would you know you have any chemistry, or if you're interested enough to text or call back?

Just like here, randoms message and we take the chance messaging back, if we hit it off then you arrange to meet

Exactly

How a man approaches you on here is a huge decider on whether you respond to then or not.

Regardless of whether you find them attractive or not.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"If some random came up to you and gave you their number then vanished, how would you know you have any chemistry, or if you're interested enough to text or call back?

Just like here, randoms message and we take the chance messaging back, if we hit it off then you arrange to meet

Hmm maybe we should add some reviews from people we met to this business card approach just like on here

By the way, I love your name and location

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"If some random came up to you and gave you their number then vanished, how would you know you have any chemistry, or if you're interested enough to text or call back?

Just like here, randoms message and we take the chance messaging back, if we hit it off then you arrange to meet

Exactly

How a man approaches you on here is a huge decider on whether you respond to then or not.

Regardless of whether you find them attractive or not. "

Just seems more logical to have a quick convo to see if there's a spark since you're both there, not plonking yourself down at their table, I like the in and out approach but just a bit more than here's my number, gone.

Plus the lady you go up to might look amazing but actually be an idiot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If some random came up to you and gave you their number then vanished, how would you know you have any chemistry, or if you're interested enough to text or call back?

Just like here, randoms message and we take the chance messaging back, if we hit it off then you arrange to meet

Exactly

How a man approaches you on here is a huge decider on whether you respond to then or not.

Regardless of whether you find them attractive or not.

Plus the lady you go up to might look amazing but actually be an idiot. "

Ok and you're entitled to your choice of approach and I am entitled to mine

Not sure why me agreeing with the OP is such an issue

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By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Why not have a short chat and then Give her your number. No pressure for her to text or call you if she’s not interested and at least you’ve chatted and seen if there’s some spark

Just seems odd to me. Would anyone response to a message on here that was just their number?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not give them a made up number, then if they don't call you can say, well they didn't have the right number.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why not have a short chat and then Give her your number. No pressure for her to text or call you if she’s not interested and at least you’ve chatted and seen if there’s some spark

Just seems odd to me. Would anyone response to a message on here that was just their number? "

That’s completely different though as there is no need to send an initial message with your number on here. You already have a way to communicate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get your tips while they’re still hot

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