FabSwingers.com forum: What would you do ?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If someone you started a message chat with give you all the the right vibes and you both ticked each other’s boxes then stopped replying with no warning ( even though you clearly picked up on what they’re profile asked for) would you be disappointed? It happened to me recently.

I thought she was my cup of tea and the messages I got back were positive but then all of a sudden (after asking for a meet) she stopped replying.

Would you take that as a time waster like I did or would you have a different opinion?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

No, I'd take a time waster as someone who arranged a meet and didn't show up.

People cha ge their mi ds for many reasons.

I've changed my mind over people if I've felt they've asked for a meet in a time frame I'd considered too soon. I prefer to be the one to decide when I'm comfortable enough to talk about meeting.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear that OP.

Just move on and ignore it. Easier said than done I know at times but really, it’s just pixels on a screen when you think about it.

I hope you have better luck in the future

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear that OP.

Just move on and ignore it. Easier said than done I know at times but really, it’s just pixels on a screen when you think about it.

I hope you have better luck in the future

This

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nobyMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Sorry to hear that OP.

Just move on and ignore it. Easier said than done I know at times but really, it’s just pixels on a screen when you think about it.

I hope you have better luck in the future

This

That hundreds of possible reasons from list phone to list interest and more and, as said above, minds can change.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear that OP.

Just move on and ignore it. Easier said than done I know at times but really, it’s just pixels on a screen when you think about it.

I hope you have better luck in the future

Cheers buddy. Just disappointing when you finally get someone you think isn’t gonna waste your time then does. It’s hard enough for single men on here as it is without situations like that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

That’s Fab for you. Lol.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I've stopped chatting to people before when I found them too pushy about meeting when I wasn't ready to. They ignored it when I said I wasn't ready and kept asking as though because I had chatted for a while they were somehow entitled to a meet.

I've also stopped chatting when people have said things that made me feel uneasy or were a red flag to me.

Does that make me a timewaster, probably to them but I won't be pushed into meeting anyone until I am ready. I learnt early on to not be pressured on here to meet until I am ready to. I did once and it was horrible so I won't again.

And while I understand it can be frustrating everyone no matter what gender has a right to change their mind or decide to stop chatting if someone says or does something they are not happy with. To me they aren't a time waster they just decided they don't want to meet or chat anymore.

To me a timewaster is someone who won't show up when a meet is arranged and ghosts rather than says anything.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

I'd be disappointed, frustrated maybe, then just carry on with things. Always next time, eh?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

Id take it as meh at least I didn't turn up somewhere only for them not to turn up.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It happens and I think realistic expectations would expect this a lot.

As most people are not mutually compatible with most other people, their easiest chats will seem bright and rosy. As things progress, more will drop out, typically when 1 no longer wants to continue.

It includes availability, as well as personality and sexual vibes. People here have partners, families, friends and work that will change their motivations and availability.

Getting realistic expectations is essential.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've stopped chatting to people before when I found them too pushy about meeting when I wasn't ready to. They ignored it when I said I wasn't ready and kept asking as though because I had chatted for a while they were somehow entitled to a meet.

I've also stopped chatting when people have said things that made me feel uneasy or were a red flag to me.

To me a timewaster is someone who won't show up when a meet is arranged and ghosts rather than says anything. "

I understand what your saying and completely agree. However with the person I’m talking about stated in her profile that she wasn’t interested in chatting or meeting socially before meeting ( just arrange a meet and fuck with no strings etc)

She made it very clear that there was no small talk etc. she messaged back and let it be clear she liked my messages and even after I apologised For being direct she said I had no reason to apologise. From that to ignoring a message after an offer to make a plan to meet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No this isn’t timewasting! Maybe you said something that put her off or maybe she just changed her mind. There’s a Maria’s of reasons why someone decides not to continue a conversation when meeting is suggested!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

I'd say shit happens and move on life is to short to be wasting your time on spoofers

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No this isn’t timewasting! Maybe you said something that put her off or maybe she just changed her mind. There’s a Maria’s of reasons why someone decides not to continue a conversation when meeting is suggested! "

*myriad of reasons

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I concur but think you mean a myriad. To be facetious

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*myriad of reasons "

You corrected yourself. How embarrassing for me. Sorry

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How long were you chatting for

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*myriad of reasons

You corrected yourself. How embarrassing for me. Sorry

That’s what you get for being a smart ass

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*myriad of reasons

You corrected yourself. How embarrassing for me. Sorry

That’s what you get for being a smart ass

That's what I get for not having faster fingers

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hSewSweetWoman
over a year ago

stevenage

I've also stopped chatting when people have said things that made me feel uneasy or were a red flag to me.

To me a timewaster is someone who won't show up when a meet is arranged and ghosts rather than says anything. "

Yes

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *layTimeEssexCouple
over a year ago

Stansted

"If someone you started a message chat with give you all the the right vibes and you both ticked each other’s boxes then stopped replying with no warning ( even though you clearly picked up on what they’re profile asked for) would you be disappointed? It happened to me recently.

I thought she was my cup of tea and the messages I got back were positive but then all of a sudden (after asking for a meet) she stopped replying.

Would you take that as a time waster like I did or would you have a different opinion? "

Yes I'd be disappointed but that is this crazy world. Who knows the reason. Maybe you said something to put her off. Maybe she is a time waster/fantasist (plenty of ladies like that and not just men) who just enjoys the chat. Maybe something happened in her life and sex/Fab suddenly took a back seat.

I (Mr) had one before in single days that was worse. Chatted a lot, met for a social and got on well, she grabbed me in the car park for a snog and then suggested meeting 3 days later. We fixed time and messaged just after. 12 hours later she blocked me with no word. Funnily enough contacted us via our couples profile a year or two later as didn't realise it was me. I asked what happened and she said "turned out I got a better offer". She is still active and full of herself demanding that men treat her politely and with manners

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere

Id guess its either a timewaster that you’ve dodged or someone that just changed their minds - either way you have more

Time to chat to someone else instead

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought she was my cup of tea and the messages I got back were positive but then all of a sudden (after asking for a meet) she stopped replying.

Would you take that as a time waster like I did or would you have a different opinion? "

I have zero expectations on here to actually meet someone. When/if I have it's because work/life/family commitments/free time all aligned (or possibly just because we had the horn at a date that matched up). I have crossed over with folk that I've chatted with for say 72hrs and said 'do you know what we're both free? Let's meet?', and then other folk I've actively chatted with for on/off endless months, and for whatever reason time never aligns or I'm fairly sure it'll never evolve beyond chatter (no stringing along, just is what it tis). I just crack on with my day regardless though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear that OP.

Just move on and ignore it. Easier said than done I know at times but really, it’s just pixels on a screen when you think about it.

I hope you have better luck in the future

Yes this. You enjoyed talking to each other, it just didn’t work out.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *annaBeStrongMan
over a year ago

wokingham

Just block and move on

A more interesting message came in and their attention got diverted. Not worth your time if someone can so quickly drop you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah sure she's a time waster

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

She maybe enjoyed the chat but then you asked to meet too soon or she thought that was your only intention of chatting…

Can’t see where the time wasting is - unless you count building a connection as time wasting if you don’t get to have sex with her

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

Id Just delete and move on

I don't do. do'overs again though, once it's over, it's over.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

But did you clearly pick up what her profile asked for ? You said she made it clear she didn't want any chatting or small talk.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I recently blocked someone who kept mentioning meeting,I'd already said no I didn't feel like I wanted to yet.

He asked again and wasn't respecting my boundaries,so he was blocked.

Chatting doesn't mean someone will definitely meet you op ,it sounds like something put her off maybe or she just changed her mind.

People do.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

She's allowed to change her mind, doesn't make her a time waster. If it was even a she.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"….

Can’t see where the time wasting is - unless you count building a connection as time wasting …..

*you can’t improve on this quote.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She maybe enjoyed the chat but then you asked to meet too soon or she thought that was your only intention of chatting…

Can’t see where the time wasting is - unless you count building a connection as time wasting if you don’t get to have sex with her

This

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

I thought she was my cup of tea and the messages I got back were positive but then all of a sudden (after asking for a meet) she stopped replying.

Would you take that as a time waster like I did or would you have a different opinion? "

Are you sure they're a she and not a Man playing games?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No message is a message in itself.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My opinion would be a few possible reasons.

They got bored.

You could have said something they didn’t agree with.

They changed their mind.

It wasn’t a woman to begin with.

Many many more.

I would call them a time waster though. You hadn’t arranged to meet, and then not turned up. That’s my definition of a time waster.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *layTimeEssexCouple
over a year ago

Stansted

I thought she was my cup of tea and the messages I got back were positive but then all of a sudden (after asking for a meet) she stopped replying.

Would you take that as a time waster like I did or would you have a different opinion?

Are you sure they're a she and not a Man playing games?"

Was about to say depends on context...

Is this somebody who has met a few other people, especially fairly recently? If so then just changed mind, something put her off, something in her life, etc.

Or has she not met anybody? (even if Fab verified as lady but especially if not and could be a man) Then quite possibly a time waster. Just like many men, there are a lot of ladies who enjoy the chase, the fantasy, etc but are very unlikely to meet and just run away when that becomes a possibility.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Many chats go well right up to the point face or additional (perhaps cock) pics are exchanged, then the interest and attraction ends and they block because that's easier than saying "I've changed my mind, sorry"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread