FabSwingers.com forum: Thou shalt not……

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If you were to make up another commandment that people should adhere to in the modern world, what would you chose?

“Though shalt pick up your dogs shit” would be mine.

How about you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thou shalt not hog lane 2

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By *91kMan
over a year ago

Maidstone

Thou shalt not pass!

*hits ground with stick*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thou shalt not double dip.

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By *91kMan
over a year ago

Maidstone

"Thou shalt not double dip."

Shouldn't that be Thor? Not Thou..

Eddie would say so

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By *o scandalousWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

[Removed by poster at 01/09/22 18:55:54]

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By *o scandalousWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Thou Shalt not eat another persons chocolate!

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"If you were to make up another commandment that people should adhere to in the modern world, what would you chose?

“Though shalt pick up your dogs shit” would be mine.

How about you?"

"Though shalt not let words written in books by people intent on control and coercion thousands of years ago allow you to persecute or demonise others."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt not double dip.

Shouldn't that be Thor? Not Thou..

Eddie would say so"

Thor is a sore loser. Eddie was right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thou shall not eat chocolate with my cock in you’re mouth !

Actually no

Cancel that

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Thou shalt not dawdle in the middle of the fucking shopping aisle, gawking inanely at random items that thou hath no intention whatsoever of purchasing whilst thine trolley is abandoned carelessly about two fucking aisles down….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you were to make up another commandment that people should adhere to in the modern world, what would you chose?

“Though shalt pick up your dogs shit” would be mine.

How about you?

"Though shalt not let words written in books by people intent on control and coercion thousands of years ago allow you to persecute or demonise others."

Mentally picturing a few apostles stood around looking sheepish with the big guy upstairs, giving eachother the side-eye until one finally says "No appreciation of the struggle for self-published authors!" And "They really took the metaphors and ran with them, didn't they....!"

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By *hantasmagoriaWoman
over a year ago

Newport

"If you were to make up another commandment that people should adhere to in the modern world, what would you chose?

“Though shalt pick up your dogs shit” would be mine.

How about you?"

Look on YouTube for hung like hanratty, clean up your dog shit

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By *hantasmagoriaWoman
over a year ago

Newport

"Thou shalt not dawdle in the middle of the fucking shopping aisle, gawking inanely at random items that thou hath no intention whatsoever of purchasing whilst thine trolley is abandoned carelessly about two fucking aisles down…."

proper made me laugh

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Thou shalt not say you don’t want to order food then nick half mine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thou shalt not make jokes in any other section of forums.

They take shit serious in the other sections.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thou shalt not steal if there is a direct victim.

Thou shalt not worship Pop Idols or follow Lostprophets.

Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer,

Johnny Hartman, Desmond Decker, Jim Morrison,

Jimi Hendrix or Syd Barrett in vain.

Thou shalt not think that any male over the age of 30

that plays with a child that is not their own is a paedophile.

Some people are just nice.

Thou shalt not read NME.

Thou shalt not stop liking a band just because they've become popular.

Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry.

Thou shalt not judge a book by its cover.

Thou shalt not judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover.

Thou shalt not buy Coca-Cola products.

Thou shalt not buy Nestle products.

Thou shalt not go into the woods with your boyfriend's best friend,

take drugs and cheat on him.

Thou shalt not fall in love so easily.

Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls' pants.

Use it to get into their heads.

Thou shalt not watch Hollyoaks.

Thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave

as soon as you've done your shitty little poem or song

you self-righteous prick.

Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar week in,

week out just 'cause you once saw a girl there that

you fancied that you're never gonna fucking talk to anyway.

Thou shalt not put musicians and

recording artists on ridiculous pedestals

no matter how great they are or were.

The Beatles: Were just a band.

Led Zepplin: Just a band.

The Beach Boys: Just a band.

The Sex Pistols: Just a band.

The Clash: Just a band.

Crass: Just a band.

Minor Threat: Just a band.

The Cure: Were just a band.

The Smiths: Just a band.

Nirvana: Just a band.

The Pixies: Just a band.

Oasis: Just a band.

Radiohead: Just a band.

Bloc Party: Just a band.

The Arctic Monkeys: Just a band.

The Next Big Thing... JUST A BAND.

Thou shalt give equal worth to tragedies that occur in non-English

speaking countries as to those that occur in English speaking countries.

Thou shalt remember that guns,

bitches and bling were never part of the four elements and never will be.

Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music,

thou shalt not make repetitive generic music,

thou shalt not make repetitive generic music.

Thou shalt not pimp my ride.

Thou shalt not scream if you wanna go faster.

Thou shalt not move to the sound of the wickedness.

Thou shalt not make some noise for Detroit.

When I say "Hey" thou shalt not say "Ho".

When I say "Hip" thou shalt not say "Hop".

When I say, he say, she say, we say, make some noise - kill me.

Ah, I forgot where I was, hang on

Thou shalt not quote me happy.

Thou shalt not shake it like a polaroid picture.

Thou shalt not wish your girlfriend was a freak like me.

Thou shalt spell the word "Pheonix" P-H-E-O-N-I-X

not P-H-O-E-N-I-X, regardless of what the Oxford English Dictionary tells you.

Thou shalt not express your shock at the fact that

Sharon got off with Brad at a club last night by saying "Is it".

Thou shalt think for yourselves.

And thou shalt always...

Thou shalt always kill!

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"If you were to make up another commandment that people should adhere to in the modern world, what would you chose?

“Though shalt pick up your dogs shit” would be mine.

How about you?

"Though shalt not let words written in books by people intent on control and coercion thousands of years ago allow you to persecute or demonise others."

I still reckon there was just a couple of guys having a wind up. One would hide behind some boulders shouting shit out and the other would be dictating to some scribes. One of whom was a wannabe Shakespeare and the other deaf.

Then over the years a load of new wannabe writers decided to do remakes (which as the modern film world shows always goes to shit!) so padded out the original stories with some new glitzy characters and action scenes.

The original book was probably destined for the bargain bins of every middle east market til some marketing whizz got his hands on it and saw a great way to make a few quid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt not steal if there is a direct victim.

Thou shalt think for yourselves.

And thou shalt always...

Thou shalt always kill!"

Gaviscon?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt not make jokes in any other section of forums.

They take shit serious in the other sections."

THE OTHER SECTIONS....

Can't go in after dark

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thou shalt not be upset just because someone else thinks differently to you.

Thou shalt not be so offended with a tv show or idea in the show that others enjoy so it gets cancelled.

Thou shalt not get offended by pointless things you see on Tv

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thou shall not steal my chips

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt not make jokes in any other section of forums.

They take shit serious in the other sections.

THE OTHER SECTIONS....

Can't go in after dark

There’s some scary people in there. You make one joke and you wake up the next day with 18 messages of abuse and they’ve all blocked me before I can reply. Pussies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt not make jokes in any other section of forums.

They take shit serious in the other sections.

THE OTHER SECTIONS....

Can't go in after dark

There’s some scary people in there. You make one joke and you wake up the next day with 18 messages of abuse and they’ve all blocked me before I can reply. Pussies."

Pmsl

Haven't dared yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thou shalt read and reply to all messages sent to you by Fab members, even if you are not interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt not make jokes in any other section of forums.

They take shit serious in the other sections.

THE OTHER SECTIONS....

Can't go in after dark

There’s some scary people in there. You make one joke and you wake up the next day with 18 messages of abuse and they’ve all blocked me before I can reply. Pussies."

I love the virus section.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt not make jokes in any other section of forums.

They take shit serious in the other sections.

THE OTHER SECTIONS....

Can't go in after dark

There’s some scary people in there. You make one joke and you wake up the next day with 18 messages of abuse and they’ve all blocked me before I can reply. Pussies.

I love the virus section. "

It's infectious isn't it..

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Thou shalt not block the pavement with your automobile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt not make jokes in any other section of forums.

They take shit serious in the other sections.

THE OTHER SECTIONS....

Can't go in after dark

There’s some scary people in there. You make one joke and you wake up the next day with 18 messages of abuse and they’ve all blocked me before I can reply. Pussies.

Pmsl

Haven't dared yet"

I dare ya

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt not make jokes in any other section of forums.

They take shit serious in the other sections.

THE OTHER SECTIONS....

Can't go in after dark

There’s some scary people in there. You make one joke and you wake up the next day with 18 messages of abuse and they’ve all blocked me before I can reply. Pussies.

I love the virus section. "

Basically the flat earth society

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thou shalt have the common courtesy to equally give way (when I'm clearing doing so) to pass each other on an obviously narrow pavement without collision. God I feel better for venting that!

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By *eejay2015Woman
over a year ago

somewhere in Buckinghamshire

Thou shall not cheat on your partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt not make jokes in any other section of forums.

They take shit serious in the other sections.

THE OTHER SECTIONS....

Can't go in after dark

There’s some scary people in there. You make one joke and you wake up the next day with 18 messages of abuse and they’ve all blocked me before I can reply. Pussies.

Pmsl

Haven't dared yet

I dare ya

If I'm not back by dark..... tell Dolly I loved her

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By *ister CMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"Thou shall not cheat on your partner. "

Its "Thou shalt not commit adultery"...

Its litterally already there... but this gave me such a laugh

Thank you xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt not make jokes in any other section of forums.

They take shit serious in the other sections.

THE OTHER SECTIONS....

Can't go in after dark

There’s some scary people in there. You make one joke and you wake up the next day with 18 messages of abuse and they’ve all blocked me before I can reply. Pussies.

I love the virus section. "

THERE'S A VIRUS SECTION!!!

Is this Area69-420 the section noone speaks of?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt not make jokes in any other section of forums.

They take shit serious in the other sections.

THE OTHER SECTIONS....

Can't go in after dark

There’s some scary people in there. You make one joke and you wake up the next day with 18 messages of abuse and they’ve all blocked me before I can reply. Pussies.

I love the virus section.

THERE'S A VIRUS SECTION!!!

Is this Area69-420 the section noone speaks of?"

I'm either very blind or very focused.... it's only 3rd down lol

I'm choosing focused

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt not make jokes in any other section of forums.

They take shit serious in the other sections.

THE OTHER SECTIONS....

Can't go in after dark

There’s some scary people in there. You make one joke and you wake up the next day with 18 messages of abuse and they’ve all blocked me before I can reply. Pussies.

I love the virus section.

THERE'S A VIRUS SECTION!!!

Is this Area69-420 the section noone speaks of?"

People do not accept humour in there.

It's hilarious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt not make jokes in any other section of forums.

They take shit serious in the other sections.

THE OTHER SECTIONS....

Can't go in after dark

There’s some scary people in there. You make one joke and you wake up the next day with 18 messages of abuse and they’ve all blocked me before I can reply. Pussies.

Pmsl

Haven't dared yet

I dare ya

If I'm not back by dark..... tell Dolly I loved her

The sheep?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt not make jokes in any other section of forums.

They take shit serious in the other sections.

THE OTHER SECTIONS....

Can't go in after dark

There’s some scary people in there. You make one joke and you wake up the next day with 18 messages of abuse and they’ve all blocked me before I can reply. Pussies.

Pmsl

Haven't dared yet

I dare ya

If I'm not back by dark..... tell Dolly I loved her

The sheep?"

Lol no, MissParton, she's an ass kicker.

Well I actually looked... but it's a scary place out there, I could feel the vibe rubbing off on me so beat a hasty retreat

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By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

It’s in the bible in another way but I’d make it a commandment

Though shalt not judge

Way too many do this now

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

Haaa. That made me bust

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt not make jokes in any other section of forums.

They take shit serious in the other sections.

THE OTHER SECTIONS....

Can't go in after dark

There’s some scary people in there. You make one joke and you wake up the next day with 18 messages of abuse and they’ve all blocked me before I can reply. Pussies.

Pmsl

Haven't dared yet

I dare ya

If I'm not back by dark..... tell Dolly I loved her

The sheep?

Lol no, MissParton, she's an ass kicker.

Well I actually looked... but it's a scary place out there, I could feel the vibe rubbing off on me so beat a hasty retreat

You said “vibe rubbing off”

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

Thou shalt not move into a terraced house amongst 100 other people and buy a dog that you leave in the garden and allow to bark incessantly all day and all night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt not move into a terraced house amongst 100 other people and buy a dog that you leave in the garden and allow to bark incessantly all day and all night. "

That’s very specific.

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

"Thou shalt not move into a terraced house amongst 100 other people and buy a dog that you leave in the garden and allow to bark incessantly all day and all night.

That’s very specific."

It is (she says whilst listening to a chorus of dogs all barking to each other outside her window)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

thou shal not block and delete messages from men on fab

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"Thou shalt not move into a terraced house amongst 100 other people and buy a dog that you leave in the garden and allow to bark incessantly all day and all night.

That’s very specific.

It is (she says whilst listening to a chorus of dogs all barking to each other outside her window) "

I feel your pain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt not make jokes in any other section of forums.

They take shit serious in the other sections.

THE OTHER SECTIONS....

Can't go in after dark

There’s some scary people in there. You make one joke and you wake up the next day with 18 messages of abuse and they’ve all blocked me before I can reply. Pussies.

Pmsl

Haven't dared yet

I dare ya

If I'm not back by dark..... tell Dolly I loved her

The sheep?

Lol no, MissParton, she's an ass kicker.

Well I actually looked... but it's a scary place out there, I could feel the vibe rubbing off on me so beat a hasty retreat

You said “vibe rubbing off”

I did didn't I

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

Thou shalt not tiddle around on rural roads at 27 mph, whilst blatantly ignoring the irate local drivers behind you.

For the love of God, pull in !!

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

Thou shall not thrust a picture of your genitals upon people who have not asked to them

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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago

Market Harborough/ Kettering

Thou shall not dump your litter anywhere except in to a bin you ignorant, lazy scumbag !!

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

"Thou shalt have the common courtesy to equally give way (when I'm clearing doing so) to pass each other on an obviously narrow pavement without collision. God I feel better for venting that! "

Ha ha ha. I love this one

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By *actilenorfolkgentMan
over a year ago

Norwich

"thou shal not block and delete messages from men on fab"
agree with that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thou shall not be offended at words not intended to offend those seeking out offence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

...not spit but swallow

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

Thou shall not use an indicator if you drive a BMW

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thou shall not pose as a couple and waste hours of couples lives hiding behind the explanation that their wife is happy about them being on fab but unfortunately fell asleep a while ago.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shall not pose as a couple and waste hours of couples lives hiding behind the explanation that their wife is happy about them being on fab but unfortunately fell asleep a while ago. "

Daammmm. That's very specific

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shall not pose as a couple and waste hours of couples lives hiding behind the explanation that their wife is happy about them being on fab but unfortunately fell asleep a while ago.

Daammmm. That's very specific

Sorry buddy guilty by appreciation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shall not pose as a couple and waste hours of couples lives hiding behind the explanation that their wife is happy about them being on fab but unfortunately fell asleep a while ago.

Daammmm. That's very specific

Sorry buddy guilty by appreciation. "

Association do you mean?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a patient driver has patiently waited for miles to pass a lycra warrior at the required legal distance, you shall not thrn shoehorn yourself in the width of the yellow lines and undertake at junctions to reset the whole torturous process once more. Just wait your turn like everyone else....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If a patient driver has patiently waited for miles to pass a lycra warrior at the required legal distance, you shall not thrn shoehorn yourself in the width of the yellow lines and undertake at junctions to reset the whole torturous process once more. Just wait your turn like everyone else....

In layman's terms please?

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

In layman's terms please?

"
I don't like cyclists I'd imagine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In layman's terms please?

I don't like cyclists I'd imagine "

Reading back that makes perfect sense. Thank you for the clarification.

And for the record I do wholeheartedly concur

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shall not pose as a couple and waste hours of couples lives hiding behind the explanation that their wife is happy about them being on fab but unfortunately fell asleep a while ago.

Daammmm. That's very specific

Sorry buddy guilty by appreciation.

Association do you mean? "

Guilty by appreciation of your honest answer.

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

In layman's terms please?

I don't like cyclists I'd imagine

Reading back that makes perfect sense. Thank you for the clarification.

And for the record I do wholeheartedly concur "
so do I

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shall not pose as a couple and waste hours of couples lives hiding behind the explanation that their wife is happy about them being on fab but unfortunately fell asleep a while ago.

Daammmm. That's very specific

Sorry buddy guilty by appreciation.

Association do you mean?

Guilty by appreciation of your honest answer.

I appreciate your acknowledgement lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In layman's terms please?

I don't like cyclists I'd imagine

Reading back that makes perfect sense. Thank you for the clarification.

And for the record I do wholeheartedly concur "

Not ALL cyclists, just the ones that give the rest a bad name. There's bad drivers too... don't start me on folk who can't navigate a roundabout

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hahaha yes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thou shalt not get upset at a cyclist slowing you down if, having passed said cyclist, you're going to be held up by other cars. If the vehicle you pull up behind at a set of lights or a junction is the same vehicle you were behind at the last set of lights/junction it is the other vehicles that are making your journey slower, not the cyclist. Enjoy your time behind them, use it to admire their muscly legs and smooth cadence knowing that you aren't taking any longer to complete your journey. The slower speed simply means a shorter wait at the next queue of traffic.

Thou shalt not get irate at losing time behind a cyclist unless you display the exact same level of rage at other drivers every time you have to join a queue and wait for them.

Thou shalt not be a small minded irrational idiot that turns into a raging monster because a cyclist has cost you 1 minute and 3 seconds then sit ranting about this lost time in a 3 minute traffic jam with no sense of irony.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If a patient driver has patiently waited..

... no sense of irony.

Mr"

Cyclist perhaps?

I'm not derailing the thread to bashing cyclists as that's not the point here and certainly not what was written. No one was irate etc. or mentioned road rage, quite the opposite.

Have a lovely lycra day x

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