FabSwingers.com forum: How to get your va va voom back ?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Do you ever go through phases where you're probably missing out on great people because you just can't be arsed, or you're forecasting the worst before it's even happened and so it's probably not worth your effort anyway?

What are some ways that help you get that spark back? I know I've been really whiney lately but I'm stuck in a serious rut

someone give my head a wobble pls

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you can only do that for yourself. Plenty of people can offer motivational chat, inspiration, whatever. But it boils down to the you doing it, for you, and it because someone has told you to.

If that doesn’t work, I have moobs, and if you wanna wobble your head, then come do it in a comfy place.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Sometimes it is really that nobody has sparked your interest. Sometimes we need to trust ourselves that we actually know what we want and that we will know it when we see it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Just fab wise you’re feeling this or generally a lack of oomph?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustamanMan
over a year ago

weymouth

Been like that for years

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think you can only do that for yourself. Plenty of people can offer motivational chat, inspiration, whatever. But it boils down to the you doing it, for you, and it because someone has told you to.

If that doesn’t work, I have moobs, and if you wanna wobble your head, then come do it in a comfy place. "

Might take you up on that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sometimes it is really that nobody has sparked your interest. Sometimes we need to trust ourselves that we actually know what we want and that we will know it when we see it."

Yeah you might have a point.

Although maybe nobody has sparked my interest because I'm incapable of being interested at the moment? Idk

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just fab wise you’re feeling this or generally a lack of oomph? "

In general. I'm feeling very flat.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Been like that for years "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you ever go through phases where you're probably missing out on great people because you just can't be arsed, or you're forecasting the worst before it's even happened and so it's probably not worth your effort anyway?

What are some ways that help you get that spark back? I know I've been really whiney lately but I'm stuck in a serious rut

someone give my head a wobble pls"

I'm currently in this rut right now too. Just no motivation for anything

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel exactly like that myself at the moment

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ighty DuckMan
over a year ago

andover

Hope you’re doing okay OP. I think we’ve all been through what you’ve mentioned at points in our lives.

For me it’s a little bit of TLC that does the trick.

A little bit more time grooming, a new hair do, working out, taking some pictures, maybe just eye contact in public and seeing if a smile comes back your way.

Hope this phase ends swiftly for you!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If that doesn’t work, I have moobs, and if you wanna wobble your head, then come do it in a comfy place.

Might take you up on that

Manboob motorboating.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a shitty circle to get trapped in op. I've often blocked the world out when things aren't going too well, which only makes things worse. I know I need to literally force my self to venture out again, but only with those friends I know understand me. These nights or days out often end up being the best and at worst, lift the gloom enough for me to carry on the upward lift in spirits.

Hope it doesn't linger for too long op

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel you OP been feeling the same way recently x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There hasn't been a hot second to rebound from things for as long as I can squint back this last couple of years.

The lockdowns&covid, the politics, the health scares of one kind or another on a monthly basis, riots somewhere, war, now financial doom& gloom. It's relentless. And I doubt anyone gets out unscathed.

You're definitely doing the right thing checking in on yourself and reaching out.

No magic wand in my back pocket OP, wish I did. But keep doing what you're doing, and I hope you see a bit of a lift soon xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/08/22 16:21:33]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just fab wise you’re feeling this or generally a lack of oomph?

In general. I'm feeling very flat. "

Your not the only one

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rarely a CBA moment just believe me when I say I'm busy. Just saying

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Just fab wise you’re feeling this or generally a lack of oomph?

In general. I'm feeling very flat. "

Could it be the autumn coming in? Maybe try a high dose of vit d and a b complex

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As others have touched upon, life is just grand at the moment when you take into consideration all that's happening.

So that was the first thing I did, limited my intake of misery from the news. It really made a difference checking in once or twice a week rather than continually on the daily.

Then the usual, exercise, diet, good quality sleep. Buying a dedicated mouse for pc gaming.

Sometimes you have to work on yourself first, to be positive, to welcome positivity into your life.

So ya know, maybe think about the things dragging you down, what can you remove, mitigate or medicate etc.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ally_be_coolWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

I hide my profile and take a little break. It doesn't take long before I remember why I was here in the first place and I come back with a little bit more of the enthusiasm and optimism I started out with.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The first thing is recognising it and then as others will have said, take a step back. I try to look at things and see what annoyances or frustrations are in my gift to affect. Focus on my actions, things I can control and just worry about them.

Sometimes that might mean heading away from Fab, if that is where the frustration lies, but as things then settle and I have more of a handle on things I’ll dip back in.

You’ll get there OP

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been the same for a while OP I find going on walks to clear my head and get away from things for a while helps but yeah lost my mojo

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

If you figure it out can you let me know

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lirtyAndFunCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

Definitely, it's usually after a no show or late cancellation. Lose all interest for a few days

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hope you’re doing okay OP. I think we’ve all been through what you’ve mentioned at points in our lives.

For me it’s a little bit of TLC that does the trick.

A little bit more time grooming, a new hair do, working out, taking some pictures, maybe just eye contact in public and seeing if a smile comes back your way.

Hope this phase ends swiftly for you! "

To be fair your profile header is making me feel uninhibited rage... So that's something

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the contributions everyone. I guess it's normal to feel this way from time to time.

I think I'm just crashing from the "fuck it" trajectory I went on a few months ago where I started doing all the things I'd been putting off and finally started feeling some zest for life. Then I couldn't carry on the momentum, and I also got into a funk when I realised how much time I'd wasted holding myself back, which was a heavy feeling I still haven't fully shaken.

I was also really looking forward to the BH weekend just gone, as I'd planned a lot of stuff and I really hoped it was gonna perk me up. But then everyone in my house (except for me) got covid so I got to cancel everything and stay home, and watch life pass me by yet again. Which feels especially unfair as I've remained testing negative the whole time.

I got really into my exercise routine as well but I've gone and fucked my knee up and it's taking weeks to get an appointment, so I'm limited to one upper body session per week when I can leave the house again. Even going for a walk is not really possible at the moment.

All this is giving me zero motivation to carry on the diet I'd locked down, and I'm bingeing for no reason again and gaining back the weight I'd worked so hard to lose.

Add to this that I finally opened up my age filters a little, as I often get comments that I'm being too restrictive and closing off my comments. But apparently this means exponentially opening myself up to way more - uninvited, not even having rejected them first - comments and abuse on my body. Apparently I'm not allowed to be this confident at this size.

Sorry to unload... Can't afford therapy because the economy's in the bin.

UGH.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you talk to your local renault dealer

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Hey Amber.

Yep, the funk is crap - tends to happen when I'm pmting and convince myself no one could fancy me and I'm not attractive in the slightest. Proper woe is me emo fest.

Normally I lean into the low energy. Doing simple things that bring me joy. Like go for a walk. Eat a nutritious meal that makes me happy. Talk to friends who lift my mood. My fiancé. Other folk. Stop eating crap because then I end up putting weight on and feeling even more ugly.

There's really zero point in looking in the past and dwelling in it. Sure; you feel like you wasted some time. That's valid. But you have you now. So do small things. Don't keep beating yourself up. With the best will in the world, this is all nice saccharine stuff isn't it? It's up to you to change and make that move to get the zest back in your life.

I hope you're able to soon. Sometimes it's nice to just have a safe space to vent.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP please try and take comfort in knowing no two days are the same, we all go through ups and downs in life and truth in matter is that we are generally in charge of our own happiness.

There’s been some sound advise from peeps, like going for walks etc. to clear mind. Nature is beautiful and find going for long walks helps me find equilibrium.

In general, go with your gutt instincts (I find they usually serve me well), and try to enjoy living life to the full - remember you are in charge - do what makes you feel happy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rMrsBrightsideCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

Yes, I have phases like this too. I think we all do.

There’s a couple of things I try to lift my mood. One is making myself feel sexy by getting dressed up. I need to see myself at my best to realise I’m not as bad as I think. The other thing is having a good dance, whether the the with friends or just in my kitchen. Put on some feel good music and just let go.

Hope you have a turn around soon OP

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes , yes & absolutely no idea

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread