FabSwingers.com forum: Breakups..

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What's the worst part about a breakup?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Losing

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Depends on the reason but I guess the loss of someone you did/do love.

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By *urplePumpkinCouple
over a year ago

Evesham

The loneliness x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Heartache.

You just wanna talk to them but you can't.

Moments during the day it just hits you out of nowhere how much you actually miss them.

Unless you broke up because they were a total cunt in which case disregard the above.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The heart ache and when kids are told that the family they once had is about to change.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the other person fights breaking up but refuses to work on the relationship

Messy, aggro, ugh

Bye

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends why you broke up.

If they're a prick, the humiliation when you realise all of their lies that you believed were total fabrications.

If they're not a prick, it's the daydreaming that I usually miss. Can't plan out and daydream about future plans and adventures with them anymore.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

When you don't get closure

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

When you have questions but there are no answers

When there is stunned silence

As Compersion said … when there is no closure

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By *ndiiiMan
over a year ago

Paisley Scotland

"Heartache.

You just wanna talk to them but you can't.

Moments during the day it just hits you out of nowhere how much you actually miss them.

Unless you broke up because they were a total cunt in which case disregard the above. "

Love it it’s 100% correct xx

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

Telling the kids.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you have questions but there are no answers

When there is stunned silence

As Compersion said … when there is no closure "

This is actually the worst.

The not knowing what went wrong, did they even mean anything they said? Were you just simply not good enough?

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

Finding out some unpalatable truths that were previously kept from you. Suddenly, the mist clears on a number of other things then too!

Gbat

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

The emptiness of them not being in your life anymore.

The realisation they don’t love you the way you loved them.

The physical pain when you think of them. Makes your breath catch in your throat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you still miss them like crazy but they've moved on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having your heart broken.

But eventually it heals and is stronger than before!

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

When they break all the spindles in the CD cases before giving them back to you. Cunts

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I think the kids impact is often a projection of the parents feelings of hopelessness , kids are fine if the parents make it work.they are often happier if the parents are happier apart.

It only happened to me once , many decades ago but that feeling waking up each day feeling physically sick, not being able to eat, not being able to enjoy anything, a couple of times I even had to get of the bus on the way to work and throw up

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

The fact that twenty years on you still want them back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes losing the friends you both had

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can be dramatical, rationale or even turn into fb's but times a healer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Losing their Netflix or Disney login.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kids are surprisingly resilient, mines been great, made it like a big adventure for her, she picked all the furniture and stuff for her bedroom and can't wait to spend time here with me....splitting up with the ex wasn't emotional for me as she was abusive and I'd of put up with anything to be with my daughter everyday but having to give her back still brings me to tears sometimes (not in front of her!) Especially after the summer break when we've spent 2 weeks together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes losing the friends you both had "

This ^ it’s when you find out who your true friends are.

As for the other person, you’ve broke up for a reason (whether you did it or they did), even if don’t really understand why, you’ve got to move on quickly or else it will consume you & drag you down.

May sound harsh, but past history taught me a lesson and it’s the only way I know how to deal with it now. Slam that door and don’t look back, forwards is where life is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it's quite a poignant question for me.

about 30 years ago go a dated a girl, we fell in love and got engaged to be married, then after 2 years together, she left me! I was heartbroken, and I've never forgotten her. just last week I found her on FB, and I contacted her. to cut a very long story short, she told me that she has be er loved anyone as she loved me. she said it was the biggest mistake she made ended it with me. she thinks about me often. and still loves me to day as I do her. she's with someone today but not happy. it hurts me to think at we cod of had a great life together

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

The good memories, especially if the break up is over infidelity or abuse. You can’t recall those happy days without knowing what is too come.

I remember my wedding day as a big mistake, rather than one of the best days of my life.

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By *elisandre300Woman
over a year ago

dontbefuckingnosey

"When you have questions but there are no answers

When there is stunned silence

As Compersion said … when there is no closure

This is actually the worst.

The not knowing what went wrong, did they even mean anything they said? Were you just simply not good enough?"

this.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Going through this at the moment

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"When you have questions but there are no answers

When there is stunned silence

As Compersion said … when there is no closure

This is actually the worst.

The not knowing what went wrong, did they even mean anything they said? Were you just simply not good enough?"

But you shouldn’t assume that, the breakup could be any number of reasons. It may not be about ‘you’

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"it's quite a poignant question for me.

I bet that happens often ….

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"Sometimes losing the friends you both had "

Especially when they feel obliged to take sides as is often the case

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Breaking the habit of them, IYSWIM. Going from your life being completely entwined with theirs to being functional and content alone takes colossal strength and energy.

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

I think a combo of all of the above.

Some of the hardest things for me with my experiences have been realising that there were lies involved in all of your memories, so you can’t even look back and remember fondly.

Realising that you really had meant nothing to them for some time and their loyalties have been with someone else for a while and you just didn’t realise. That betrayal is awful.

Then missing someone who isn’t giving you a second thought and feeling foolish for all of the above.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

You seem to hear more truth than you did in the relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's the worst part about a breakup?

Knowing you weren’t good enough but I think that’s a bruised ego. Hate that initial gut wrenching period. Feels like someone died but they’re still here. I’ve had my heart broken a few times but now I know it does get better and the pain eventually goes. Just have to keep distracted and stay positive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Breaking the habit of them, IYSWIM. Going from your life being completely entwined with theirs to being functional and content alone takes colossal strength and energy."

That's a positive thought. I do feel a great deal stronger after navigating a nasty split with my LTR. He's still an twat though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes losing the friends you both had

Especially when they feel obliged to take sides as is often the case "

I'm sure I does happen often, I know my case is no different then to many other people, but it still hurts. I sometimes think to myself how wonderful our life would of been is I'd only fought for her, instead I ran away to Europe to mend my broken heart

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"having to give her back still brings me to tears sometimes "

Same. Hasn't got any easier.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you think to yourself how much you could kick yourself about the situation or is that just me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you have questions but there are no answers

When there is stunned silence

As Compersion said … when there is no closure

This is actually the worst.

The not knowing what went wrong, did they even mean anything they said? Were you just simply not good enough?

But you shouldn’t assume that, the breakup could be any number of reasons. It may not be about ‘you’ "

But when you don't even know why, then you just automatically think it's you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having to do my own bins.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The way they treat you afterwards

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

"The way they treat you afterwards "

Yeah, this person who was in your life for so long suddenly treats you like you’re a stranger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The way they treat you afterwards

Yeah, this person who was in your life for so long suddenly treats you like you’re a stranger "

That is so confusing and saddening

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden

"Breaking the habit of them, IYSWIM. Going from your life being completely entwined with theirs to being functional and content alone takes colossal strength and energy."

The same applies when your partner dies.

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

"The way they treat you afterwards

Yeah, this person who was in your life for so long suddenly treats you like you’re a stranger

That is so confusing and saddening "

Feels like they’ve pulled a shutter down and you’re on the outside of it.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Breaking the habit of them, IYSWIM. Going from your life being completely entwined with theirs to being functional and content alone takes colossal strength and energy.

The same applies when your partner dies.

This must be awful. I’ve a few friends been through this and I can’t even imagine. Never been through any nasty break ups so cant really comment but this must be awful, especially if you have children too. Hugs xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Losing their Netflix or Disney login. "

I changed my password a few days ago.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The way they treat you afterwards

Yeah, this person who was in your life for so long suddenly treats you like you’re a stranger

That is so confusing and saddening "

Sometimes it's easier for both parties to have a clean break and do it quickly. No let's be friends, no talking as it can drag things out and make it worse...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The way they treat you afterwards

Yeah, this person who was in your life for so long suddenly treats you like you’re a stranger

That is so confusing and saddening

Sometimes it's easier for both parties to have a clean break and do it quickly. No let's be friends, no talking as it can drag things out and make it worse..."

If there is a mutual agreement it definitely is. And it is easier done if you don’t bump into each other on a regular basis as well.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

By talking I mean day to day stuff, talk about the break up yes, but I don't think an ex is the best person to look to for comfort

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

"By talking I mean day to day stuff, talk about the break up yes, but I don't think an ex is the best person to look to for comfort "

They’re not, but sometimes they’re the only person that can help you understand what happened. If you have questions and no opportunity to ask them it’s very hard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Heartache.

You just wanna talk to them but you can't.

Moments during the day it just hits you out of nowhere how much you actually miss them.

Unless you broke up because they were a total cunt in which case disregard the above. "

And if it’s them that’s the total cunt and has let you develop a bond with her kids.

That’s the hardest part.

All because she couldn’t keep her legs closed and just used the other as a babysitter/cleaner/cash cow.

But it actually wasn’t her that I missed in the end.

It was the fun times with the kids.

But she’ll always be a cunt still.

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By *TK421-Man
over a year ago

Cheltenham

The rather annoying fact that time is the greatest healer and there's no quick fix.

Well besides the tempory fix of having sex with another person. But that's like a bandage for a deep wound.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The way they treat you afterwards

Yeah, this person who was in your life for so long suddenly treats you like you’re a stranger "

Yup, this one 100%

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The rather annoying fact that time is the greatest healer and there's no quick fix.

Well besides the tempory fix of having sex with another person. But that's like a bandage for a deep wound.

I'm all for the bandages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That it's never clean

So much is always left unresolved, so many questions left unanswered, namely the when did we actually breakup? vs the official acknowledgement

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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

The feeling of loss and loneliness for me was one of the worst feelings

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

I can’t even imagine ,it all sounds pretty bleak to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the lost and loneliness. The memories you had the time spent with each other. 16 months ago me and my partner broken up after being together for 20 years since we were young teens. I'm still struggling with it all. We used to be swingers too. Maybe one day will find someone and make new memories. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The overwhelming sadness when you realise that you will never find another love like it for the rest of your life

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden

"The overwhelming sadness when you realise that you will never find another love like it for the rest of your life"

I'd add heaps of loneliness too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably wanting them back but knowing getting back together is the worst thing you can do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The rather annoying fact that time is the greatest healer and there's no quick fix.

Well besides the tempory fix of having sex with another person. But that's like a bandage for a deep wound.

I'm all for the bandages. "

I tried a bandage once. I cried. Not a good look

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By *omsubdevonCouple
over a year ago

Newton Abbot

A wife fleecing her husband financially and being a lazy cow.

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

Realising you’re not part of a team anymore. That the other person in your boat not only stopped rowing, but started poking holes instead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you have kids, being forced to be nice to someone that acts like an even bigger twat than they did when you were together whilst also finding out that the "one night stand" was in fact a litany of sexual predative behaviour for most of your time together not even excluding having a crack at your best mate

Gets worse when the God-awful thought that your first child could actually be the result of an overlap when you first started seeing each other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Losing not only someone you loved but someone who was your best friend

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