FabSwingers.com forum: Yes…oh yes!!! YES!!!…. Oh no.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What’s the biggest thing that becomes a big block in here from meeting someone?

You know, you talked, you connect and want the same thing…desire and the physical and mental craving of wanting to be naked together grows and then ‘BAM’…. Nope, the realisation that it’s not gonna happen rises inside and it comes to a stop.

How do you avoid it from happening again? There’s only so many ways to get to know someone isn’t there? Is it really just time that gets you to get to know someone enough or is that actually a bit of a double edged sword?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can’t lose if you don’t play

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't win either though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They get angry at a no from me

Finding out they've lied

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Time is the key, if you had enough of it or more control of what’s taking your time, you’d have met at the peak of intrigue and desire… when you miss that point it is a forever difficult challenge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When they send a dick pic with the end bit right close up. It's like it's looking at you.

They scare me.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Timing I'd guess. I don't tend to connect with many people on here on a level where I'd want to be intimate with them - by the point that happens I'll have found out a bit about them and any big nos will have been very apparent ages ago.

So for me, the biggest thing is timing. I can be interested in someone but then things change when I meet someone else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Suspend the expectation. I dunno, If I suspect it isn't going to happen then I pull back. It's cruel to keep people hanging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can be as simple as just feeling somethings ‘off’.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Impatience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely, if you're not playing you've already lost the opportunity.

But chemistry can't be forced, we all know that. I'm very much a slow burn with a flash fire when the time comes.

I have been super attracted to people and then they've said something in general chat that has completely turned me off. Maybe I have found it offensive personally or it has revealed a side of themselves I found unattractive.

I have been turned off by a random physical thing sooo many times. Like hands, yes, I know they can't change their hands, but if I can't bear the thought of them on me it's game over.

It's not anything I can reverse either so the connection ends there

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

I have no clue! I have never given this any thought. There isn’t a particular trigger but it does happen, it happens both ways too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feeling like they’re chatting (with the intention of meeting) to a whole slew of women will turn me off too! Whilst I get the nature of this site, I like feeling special and not one of many.

Forum interactions can also be offputting if it reveals a side of them I dislike.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Definitely, if you're not playing you've already lost the opportunity.

But chemistry can't be forced, we all know that. I'm very much a slow burn with a flash fire when the time comes. "

Haha. I can relate so much. Also I’ve had a raging blaze burning for months, it really depends whom I speak to and what energy they give me.

It's not anything I can reverse either so the connection ends there

"
sadly no, there’s sometimes no going back.

I can relate to your answer a lot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Definitely, if you're not playing you've already lost the opportunity.

But chemistry can't be forced, we all know that. I'm very much a slow burn with a flash fire when the time comes.

Haha. I can relate so much. Also I’ve had a raging blaze burning for months, it really depends whom I speak to and what energy they give me.

It's not anything I can reverse either so the connection ends there

sadly no, there’s sometimes no going back.

I can relate to your answer a lot. "

Good to know these things about ourselves though, no?

Saves a lot of wasted time and effort and hurt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It can be as simple as just feeling somethings ‘off’. "

I’m the same…. I get a gut feeling

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Feeling like they’re chatting (with the intention of meeting) to a whole slew of women will turn me off too! Whilst I get the nature of this site, I like feeling special and not one of many.

Yep. I can talk to anyone, flirt with anyone… but… how many women do you think a guy can line up in here?…

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Feeling like they’re chatting (with the intention of meeting) to a whole slew of women will turn me off too! Whilst I get the nature of this site, I like feeling special and not one of many.

Yep. I can talk to anyone, flirt with anyone… but… how many women do you think a guy can line up in here?…

A lot.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

My favourite word since joining fab is "consistency".

I rarely chat on here and therefore don't really get to a yes/no position but I much prefer to get to know people before meeting.

Something as simple as as a deviation in mutual conversation to it all being about them would be enough to put me off but it's very rarely a surprise or a sharp change of direction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Feeling like they’re chatting (with the intention of meeting) to a whole slew of women will turn me off too! Whilst I get the nature of this site, I like feeling special and not one of many.

Yep. I can talk to anyone, flirt with anyone… but… how many women do you think a guy can line up in here?…

depends on the guy!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It can be as simple as just feeling somethings ‘off’.

I’m the same…. I get a gut feeling

Trust your gut!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Feeling like they’re chatting (with the intention of meeting) to a whole slew of women will turn me off too! Whilst I get the nature of this site, I like feeling special and not one of many.

Yep. I can talk to anyone, flirt with anyone… but… how many women do you think a guy can line up in here?…

A lot."

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Feeling like they’re chatting (with the intention of meeting) to a whole slew of women will turn me off too! Whilst I get the nature of this site, I like feeling special and not one of many.

Yep. I can talk to anyone, flirt with anyone… but… how many women do you think a guy can line up in here?…

A lot."

If you're a man and you have a bit of something about you, women will quite happily join that line.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Sometimes a feeling that something is off, other times the conversation can just run dry, mostly for me in a couple it's the cock pics that put me off.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Feeling like they’re chatting (with the intention of meeting) to a whole slew of women will turn me off too! Whilst I get the nature of this site, I like feeling special and not one of many.

Yep. I can talk to anyone, flirt with anyone… but… how many women do you think a guy can line up in here?…

A lot."

What have I been doing?

*gets out diary and starts dialing numbers..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's also the flip side though.

I can't count the number of times I've had an 'Oh!' Moment with someone where a look, a glance, a tilt of their head, a turn of their wrist hits just right and suddenly the veil drops and I see the sexuality in them.

I love love love that rush of lust, as I know I like them as a person but suddenly BAM I want to devour them too

Like I said.... slow burn.... flashfire

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cant connect with anyone like i once did anymore i wont risk it its far too dangerous to give people that kind of power

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There's also the flip side though.

I love love love that rush of lust, as I know I like them as a person but suddenly BAM I want to devour them too

Like I said.... slow burn.... flashfire

Like a really really long fuse burning and leading to the biggest pile of gunpowder barrels?…. Oh yes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I cant connect with anyone like i once did anymore i wont risk it its far too dangerous to give people that kind of power"

I hear you.

I refuse nowadays. I dip my toes in, or wade up to my waist, but if I like someone a lot. I’m willing to dive in, and I dive in deep and I refuse to let someone let me drown again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's also the flip side though.

I love love love that rush of lust, as I know I like them as a person but suddenly BAM I want to devour them too

Like I said.... slow burn.... flashfire

Like a really really long fuse burning and leading to the biggest pile of gunpowder barrels?…. Oh yes.

Yes! Yes! Yes!!!

Jeez the flashbacks are killing me here.... he knows who he is

Definitely worth the wait when it's that good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When he starts asking what I would do to him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It takes me aaaaaaaages to get to know someone enough for me to find them attractive, therefore it takes up a lot of my time and energy. It's friendship first, always. I have no issue with them seeing other other people at all, but if something's arranged, like a phone call or a message catch-up, and I get blown off for someone else that'll put my nose out of joint. Reserving time for someone only to be the least preferred option is an instant libido killer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think sometimes the conversation can go on too long and people need to meet in person sooner rather than later. Conversation can run dry and interest starts to drop, that's when I think it's not going to happen so not much point in continuing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think sometimes the conversation can go on too long and people need to meet in person sooner rather than later. Conversation can run dry and interest starts to drop, that's when I think it's not going to happen so not much point in continuing."

I think there’s some truth in that, but also really difficult to get around… a lot of people I like enough to just drop a message to afk what are you doing tonight/weekend just live miles away and takes arranging (accommodation etc).

But, I’ve felt lots of connections and that spark with people fizzle out to just friend zoning.

But, I’m a person where if I liked you, I will always like you, the fire is now just a slow burner as explained above.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I cant connect with anyone like i once did anymore i wont risk it its far too dangerous to give people that kind of power

I hear you.

I refuse nowadays. I dip my toes in, or wade up to my waist, but if I like someone a lot. I’m willing to dive in, and I dive in deep and I refuse to let someone let me drown again.

I think it's so important to not repeat things that haven't been healthy for us in the past and to define our own boundaries and comfort zones.

I have a tendency to put my needs last but all those sayings about putting your own oxygen mask on first, or don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm... they're all true.

I have been happier this last year or two than any other time in my life, as I said no more to a toxic relationship and I made myself and my wants and needs an equal priority to my kids'. AND I have put everyone else a few rungs down the ladder. Saying no thank you still makes me itch but it lasts less and less every time.

Can't close doors though or happiness will march on past. I just make sure it's not a swinging door lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It takes me aaaaaaaages to get to know someone enough for me to find them attractive, therefore it takes up a lot of my time and energy. It's friendship first, always. I have no issue with them seeing other other people at all, but if something's arranged, like a phone call or a message catch-up, and I get blown off for someone else that'll put my nose out of joint. Reserving time for someone only to be the least preferred option is an instant libido killer."

^this

Or guys chatting ferociously on here for a few days straight then just going cold overnight or disappearing off fab for weeks because they had a few options running side by side and one played out sooner or they met a girl out and about.

(These are true stories btw and part of why I'm not jumping on every flirty message... and why my age preferences are what they are, I don't just guy bash)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

^this

(These are true stories btw and part of why I'm not jumping on every flirty message... and why my age preferences are what they are, I don't just guy bash)"

I’ve occasionally been tempted to loosen my own preferences, never works out well for me though. Lesson learned!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

^this

(These are true stories btw and part of why I'm not jumping on every flirty message... and why my age preferences are what they are, I don't just guy bash)

I’ve occasionally been tempted to loosen my own preferences, never works out well for me though. Lesson learned! "

I’ve gone against my preferences or usual choices, and turned out to be some of the best decisions I made. I think I used to look for something I could never find, and then somehow it finds me when I was busy doing something else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely this happens

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Not so much a killer with me, but it brings it into perspective where I am. Fab swingers, and they will be lining up men, but feeling like they don’t give a shit about my plans is what could kill it off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

^this

(These are true stories btw and part of why I'm not jumping on every flirty message... and why my age preferences are what they are, I don't just guy bash)

I’ve occasionally been tempted to loosen my own preferences, never works out well for me though. Lesson learned!

I guess it may depend, I’ve ignored my gut before but never again!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"….

I guess it may depend, I’ve ignored my gut before but never again! "

I said above. ..’you gotta trust your gut!’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why I have no specifics for looks or lifestyle but when it comes to how someone acts or treats me, that's a different set of preferences

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why I have no specifics for looks or lifestyle but when it comes to how someone acts or treats me, that's a different set of preferences "

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

[Removed by poster at 29/08/22 09:29:26]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This is why I have no specifics for looks or lifestyle but when it comes to how someone acts or treats me, that's a different set of preferences "

I know this is going off track and turning into a preference conversation, but what the hell!…

If I said no because of a year older / younger or they’re a Liverpool fan

or she is not born on Tuesday I’m much more open for people who already like me to sit and find out if we both like each other enough to enjoy each other’s company. How can I not want that ?I instead you are so focused on looking at that someone who ignores you, when someone behind can’t take these eyes off you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They get angry at a no from me

Finding out they've lied

Always say 'no' to something before a meet. If they can't handle it they are not safe to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They get angry at a no from me

Finding out they've lied

Always say 'no' to something before a meet. If they can't handle it they are not safe to meet. "

Oh yes. I'm not one to test people but I do express boundaries and if there's pushback - nope.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They get angry at a no from me

Finding out they've lied

Always say 'no' to something before a meet. If they can't handle it they are not safe to meet. "

What? Like a test?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When he starts asking what I would do to him."

Any sniff of sex chat before we've even met, I bin them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They get angry at a no from me

Finding out they've lied

Always say 'no' to something before a meet. If they can't handle it they are not safe to meet.

What? Like a test? "

Kind of. Damselfly explained it better than I can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Finding out after weeks of chatting that they had amnesia all along and forgot they were married

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They get angry at a no from me

Finding out they've lied

Always say 'no' to something before a meet. If they can't handle it they are not safe to meet.

What? Like a test?

Kind of. Damselfly explained it better than I can.

I just accept a no as a no… I take it as a hint they don’t like me.

*too many games turn me off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Finding out after weeks of chatting that they had amnesia all along and forgot they were married

this is also why I don’t meet guys who cannot accommodate! It’s an imperfect method as some single guys will get swept up in it but I try my best to not unwittingly meet attached guys!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They get angry at a no from me

Finding out they've lied

Always say 'no' to something before a meet. If they can't handle it they are not safe to meet.

What? Like a test?

Kind of. Damselfly explained it better than I can.

I just accept a no as a no… I take it as a hint they don’t like me.

*too many games turn me off. "

It's not a game, Woody. But you do have two women telling you that saying no to even a minor thing can reveal a red flag in some men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why I have no specifics for looks or lifestyle but when it comes to how someone acts or treats me, that's a different set of preferences

I know this is going off track and turning into a preference conversation, but what the hell!…

If I said no because of a year older / younger or they’re a Liverpool fan

If someone can't see with their own eyes I'm never going to jump up and down in front of them. I think a certain amount of chemistry ....well, the kind of chemistry I search for... is insinctive, an indefinable draw.

I'd never want to 'make' someone notice me as I think you'd end up in a 'you'll do for now' situation.

I ultimately want a guy that can't see past me sexually...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They get angry at a no from me

Finding out they've lied

Always say 'no' to something before a meet. If they can't handle it they are not safe to meet.

What? Like a test?

Kind of. Damselfly explained it better than I can.

I just accept a no as a no… I take it as a hint they don’t like me.

*too many games turn me off.

It's not a game, Woody. But you do have two women telling you that saying no to even a minor thing can reveal a red flag in some men. "

No way!!! This is all being written down you know… you woman amaze me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They get angry at a no from me

Finding out they've lied

Always say 'no' to something before a meet. If they can't handle it they are not safe to meet.

What? Like a test?

Kind of. Damselfly explained it better than I can.

I just accept a no as a no… I take it as a hint they don’t like me.

*too many games turn me off.

It's not a game, Woody. But you do have two women telling you that saying no to even a minor thing can reveal a red flag in some men.

No way!!! This is all being written down you know… you woman amaze me.

Can't tell if you're taking the piss...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They get angry at a no from me

Finding out they've lied

Always say 'no' to something before a meet. If they can't handle it they are not safe to meet. "

good advice

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By *nto the LouWoman
over a year ago

Preston

It’s my anxiety for me - sometimes I’m just at a point with it where the thought of meeting somebody even for a social is too scary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They get angry at a no from me

Finding out they've lied

Always say 'no' to something before a meet. If they can't handle it they are not safe to meet.

Oh yes. I'm not one to test people but I do express boundaries and if there's pushback - nope. "

respecting a no is a hard limit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know from the word go that no one us going to meet me so it's not an issue

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They get angry at a no from me

Finding out they've lied

Always say 'no' to something before a meet. If they can't handle it they are not safe to meet.

What? Like a test?

Kind of. Damselfly explained it better than I can.

I just accept a no as a no… I take it as a hint they don’t like me.

*too many games turn me off.

It's not a game, Woody. But you do have two women telling you that saying no to even a minor thing can reveal a red flag in some men.

No way!!! This is all being written down you know… you woman amaze me.

Can't tell if you're taking the piss..."

Haha. I’m not taking the piss.

*note to self, - woody! people don’t know you well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They get angry at a no from me

Finding out they've lied

Always say 'no' to something before a meet. If they can't handle it they are not safe to meet.

What? Like a test?

Kind of. Damselfly explained it better than I can.

I just accept a no as a no… I take it as a hint they don’t like me.

*too many games turn me off.

It's not a game, Woody. But you do have two women telling you that saying no to even a minor thing can reveal a red flag in some men.

No way!!! This is all being written down you know… you woman amaze me.

It would only be game-playing if they were making things up to say no to or toying with a yes/no/yes/no on if they'd meet.

Having a pre-meet chat where a guy tries to talk you in to things you've been very clear on not wanting or liking. Or a guy pushing hard to get pics or all the dirty details on what you've done with others is pretty sketchy and a definite swerve for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They get angry at a no from me

Finding out they've lied

Always say 'no' to something before a meet. If they can't handle it they are not safe to meet.

What? Like a test?

Kind of. Damselfly explained it better than I can.

I just accept a no as a no… I take it as a hint they don’t like me.

*too many games turn me off.

It's not a game, Woody. But you do have two women telling you that saying no to even a minor thing can reveal a red flag in some men.

No way!!! This is all being written down you know… you woman amaze me.

Can't tell if you're taking the piss...

Haha. I’m not taking the piss.

*note to self, - woody! people don’t know you well. "

The smiley faces gave you away a bit, but still worth saying for any 'lurkers' as you seem to call them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After reading this thread, yes all of it!

I'd just like to say I'm glad I don't have a penis.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They get angry at a no from me

Finding out they've lied

Always say 'no' to something before a meet. If they can't handle it they are not safe to meet.

What? Like a test?

Kind of. Damselfly explained it better than I can.

I just accept a no as a no… I take it as a hint they don’t like me.

*too many games turn me off.

It's not a game, Woody. But you do have two women telling you that saying no to even a minor thing can reveal a red flag in some men.

No way!!! This is all being written down you know… you woman amaze me.

It would only be game-playing if they were making things up to say no to or toying with a yes/no/yes/no on if they'd meet.

So I absolutely get that red flags like that become a big no,… even though some things felt good to begin with.

(For a moment I thought you guys were telling that you somehow say no just for a test to see their reaction.)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know from the word go that no one us going to meet me so it's not an issue "

I don't think I've ever seen a profile so strongly built to deliberately put people off and keep them at arms length...

If it's meant to be tongue-in-cheek I think you've pushed the envelope a tad too far.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s my anxiety for me - sometimes I’m just at a point with it where the thought of meeting somebody even for a social is too scary. "

This is probably the hardest thing to face, or maybe I'm just sharing your feelings a bit.

It should never be scary if the person is someone you have spent time getting to know and feeling comfortable with. I spent months chatting before a first meet and would often tell a guy 'this is my speed, if it's not yours that's absolutely your choice'.

But lovely excitement and anticipation can feel quite like anxiety, pick it apart a bit and see where you really are.

Picking the where and when and having an exit plan will give you control & a bit of air in your lungs

But like Woody says....trust your gut, sometimes it's not only your social comfort zone that's itching at you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes their updates are enough to turn me from oh yes to oh no

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By *ittleMyWoman
over a year ago

Stockport

"They get angry at a no from me

Finding out they've lied

Always say 'no' to something before a meet. If they can't handle it they are not safe to meet.

What? Like a test?

Kind of. Damselfly explained it better than I can.

I just accept a no as a no… I take it as a hint they don’t like me.

*too many games turn me off.

It's not a game, Woody. But you do have two women telling you that saying no to even a minor thing can reveal a red flag in some men.

No way!!! This is all being written down you know… you woman amaze me.

Can't tell if you're taking the piss...

Haha. I’m not taking the piss.

*note to self, - woody! people don’t know you well.

The smiley faces gave you away a bit, but still worth saying for any 'lurkers' as you seem to call them

I'm a self-confessed lurker and finding this thread really interesting and insightful. Forever grateful to the articulate contributor!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes their updates are enough to turn me from oh yes to oh no

Yep.... salty cranky statuses...

Absolute prize right there

Annnnddddd Block...

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

When you meet up and low and behold they live just round the corner.

When they want to change boundaries to something you said was a NO!

When they disclose things about other women they slept with from fab

if they do it to them they will to you

When the situation doesn’t feel right

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

If you're not matched - and most people are not mutually matched - then trying to prevent disconnection of your chat etc, is pointless. Blocks come when there is no hope. Welcome them, ss they save your energy for people who could be a better match.

If you're honest and sell yourself well, then others get the right opportunity to evaluate you.

Don't try to flog a dead horse. Move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They get angry at a no from me

Finding out they've lied

Always say 'no' to something before a meet. If they can't handle it they are not safe to meet.

What? Like a test?

Kind of. Damselfly explained it better than I can.

I just accept a no as a no… I take it as a hint they don’t like me.

*too many games turn me off.

It's not a game, Woody. But you do have two women telling you that saying no to even a minor thing can reveal a red flag in some men.

No way!!! This is all being written down you know… you woman amaze me.

Can't tell if you're taking the piss...

Haha. I’m not taking the piss.

*note to self, - woody! people don’t know you well. "

Just checking!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't tend to connect with many people on here on a level where I'd want to be intimate with them - by the point that happens I'll have found out a bit about them and any big nos will have been very apparent ages ago.

" Feeling like they’re chatting (with the intention of meeting) to a whole slew of women will turn me off too! Whilst I get the nature of this site, I like feeling special and not one of many.

Forum interactions can also be offputting if it reveals a side of them I dislike. "

I would say this ^ pretty much sums up how I feel too. I like to get to know someone over time before I even think about an intimate meet, and by the time I feel comfortable enough to meet I'd have spoken about and seen enough of them to know if it is worth going ahead with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not just the woman that should feel comfortable, and ready, to meet. Personally, I to get to know someone and trust that there aren’t any unpleasant surprises waiting for me. Having had that happen before, I’m more than happy to chat for a while and build that rapport and confidence.

I also would hate to feel like I was rushing someone into something they’re not comfortable with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this has been referred to by others - but if someone doesn't respect the speed I wish to move at - they're not for me.

And if they keep pushing to move to kik or get my number. Also not for me.

I am not a quick fuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you're not matched - and most people are not mutually matched - then trying to prevent disconnection of your chat etc, is pointless. Blocks come when there is no hope. Welcome them, ss they save your energy for people who could be a better match.

If you're honest and sell yourself well, then others get the right opportunity to evaluate you.

Don't try to flog a dead horse. Move on. "

The fine art of cutting bait

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feeling like they’re chatting (with the intention of meeting) to a whole slew of women will turn me off too! Whilst I get the nature of this site, I like feeling special and not one of many.

Forum interactions can also be offputting if it reveals a side of them I dislike.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s not just the woman that should feel comfortable, and ready, to meet. Personally, I to get to know someone and trust that there aren’t any unpleasant surprises waiting for me. Having had that happen before, I’m more than happy to chat for a while and build that rapport and confidence.

I also would hate to feel like I was rushing someone into something they’re not comfortable with. "

absolutely, it's a minefield from both sides of the cafe table.

The ladies are as able to catfish or gameplay or whatever as the guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They usually give themselves away quite early on. Getting arsey that I've not replied in their time frame, say they want more than NSA then talk about sex constantly, fine out they are cheating etc there's loads that's puts me off. I'm fussy about who I get naked with.

Pxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think this has been referred to by others - but if someone doesn't respect the speed I wish to move at - they're not for me.

And if they keep pushing to move to kik or get my number. Also not for me.

I am not a quick fuck. "

there's plenty of all likes and expectations on fab to find someone who moves at your same speed. No need or excuse for being a muppet.

I learned the hard way not to share my number

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

My preferences are quite fickle and change with the wind so the experience someone presents might be very appealing one day and off putting another day.

The better I know someone, the less likely I am to sleep with them too. I want to know they're respectful, sane and relaxed company. Then we can fuck and move on with our lives. Any more than that and it's going to get off putting. I connect with so few people on any deeper level that it's not worth pursuing in a hook up and can more often just be a big turn off.

I might also just completely forget I've been talking to someone, life happens and inboxes build up.

Like others have said too, what people post in the forum could be very off putting too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My preferences are quite fickle and change with the wind so the experience someone presents might be very appealing one day and off putting another day.

I might also just completely forget I've been talking to someone, life happens and inboxes build up.

Like others have said too, what people post in the forum could be very off putting too. "

You sound really clued in to your own self though so everyone's expectations can be kept where they need to be and everyone gets what they need or want whether that's sex or not

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
over a year ago

London

"My preferences are quite fickle and change with the wind so the experience someone presents might be very appealing one day and off putting another day.

I might also just completely forget I've been talking to someone, life happens and inboxes build up.

Like others have said too, what people post in the forum could be very off putting too.

You sound really clued in to your own self though so everyone's expectations can be kept where they need to be and everyone gets what they need or want whether that's sex or not

Yeah it's been a bit of a journey to get there but I'm now in a place where I know exactly who I am and what I want. It's brought a lot of confidence with it too.

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice

Impatient and to keen to show there bits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Impatient and to keen to show there bits

Rules me out then

J x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Excessive reliance on drugs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Asking for pics straight away, I like too tease.

Asking what I’m in too in the first conversation!

Being too serious/ no sense of fun ,puts me off no matter how hot

J xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d add using woke as an insult!

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

They become a pest ie always asking when we're meeting and what I'm wearing etc.

They show a side I don't like when chatting ie sexist/racist.

I find out they've lied about something like being single or their age etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My preferences are quite fickle and change with the wind so the experience someone presents might be very appealing one day and off putting another day.

I might also just completely forget I've been talking to someone, life happens and inboxes build up.

Like others have said too, what people post in the forum could be very off putting too.

You sound really clued in to your own self though so everyone's expectations can be kept where they need to be and everyone gets what they need or want whether that's sex or not

Yeah it's been a bit of a journey to get there but I'm now in a place where I know exactly who I am and what I want. It's brought a lot of confidence with it too. "

Love that!!

Hard won and worth it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They get angry at a no from me

Finding out they've lied

Always say 'no' to something before a meet. If they can't handle it they are not safe to meet.

What? Like a test?

Kind of. Damselfly explained it better than I can.

I just accept a no as a no… I take it as a hint they don’t like me.

*too many games turn me off.

It's not a game, Woody. But you do have two women telling you that saying no to even a minor thing can reveal a red flag in some men.

No way!!! This is all being written down you know… you woman amaze me.

Can't tell if you're taking the piss...

Haha. I’m not taking the piss.

*note to self, - woody! people don’t know you well.

The smiley faces gave you away a bit, but still worth saying for any 'lurkers' as you seem to call them

My smiley face is always a smiley face

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

He chooses to meet others every time I am free

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"He chooses to meet others every time I am free"

Yes,… that would out a stop to your plans. *not laughing at you, I’m pissed off for you!

Inconsiderate people piss me off, selfishness is a trait Nobody like to admit, but it’s a thing we all have slightly, which is rather annoying.

I completely agree with yours.

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