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Is shit sex..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

..enough to end a relationship?

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

I think so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/08/22 01:06:26]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, because you can learn and adapt to improve...if willing!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Naa sex is a 2 way street

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

Depends if you’re into that kind of thing I guess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is more to a relationshiptgan sex. If you can finish over something like that then you obviously dont love the girlfriend/boyfriend.

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington


"..enough to end a relationship?

"

I can't answer that but I do know a lack of communication and a failure to express the sentiment to your partner is.

If you can't talk to them to try and improve things then maybe it's not the relationship you want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not necessarily. Sex can always get better with good communication. I believe communication is as important as physical attraction. Sometimes people get over excited and don’t perform as well as they normally would with previous partners. Give it a chance and see how it goes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"..enough to end a relationship?

I can't answer that but I do know a lack of communication and a failure to express the sentiment to your partner is.

If you can't talk to them to try and improve things then maybe it's not the relationship you want

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex isn’t the be all and end all.

*I can really be added right now to put down in detail what I mean, but that’s it in a nut shell.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, I would give up sex if I found someone I really loved

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By *9alMan
over a year ago

Bridgend

is shit sex better than no sex at all?

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

No but the unwillingness to improve it is.

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By *urvySub87Woman
over a year ago

Near Wellingborough

Sex isn't everything but it does need to be something and it definitely needs to be something even slightly enjoyable. Otherwise there is the risk of the sex life going stale and your partner cheating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some how… in the end… yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kinda agree unless you have a open relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only if the other person is viewed through her/his sexual value, or lack thereof.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why I'm single.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"..enough to end a relationship? "

Not quite as straightforward as that, but yeah.

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By *rettyflamingoWoman
over a year ago

Where the flamboyance of flamingos live

I left my husband after 20 yrs as I felt unfulfilled, if I’d still been in love with him though I’d of stayed.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"is shit sex better than no sex at all?"

No way!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

If you've not seen able to communicate between you what is needed by all of you and can't develop, it could be time to look at counselling.

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By *ad boy maverickMan
over a year ago

basildon


"..enough to end a relationship?

"

When you say Shit sex. 1/ What constitutes Shit sex ?

Are they too vanilla for you ?

Are they a bit frigid ?

Have they been brainwashed into thinking sex is dirty or bad ?

2/ Do you know if your partner thinks the same or if they think it's brilliant ? It depends on the level of sex the person got in a previous relationship ?

However, if you're not confident enough in yourself to talk to your partner about it things won't improve with anyone. Unless you expect your partners to be mind readers.

Another important factor in a relationship is , how would you feel if they fell ill and had a colostomy bag fitted? Would you still love them and want to be with them or if they ended up in a wheelchair ? And what if any of that happened to you would you of the opinion , " that's fair enough that they leave me" or would you be devestated ?

A true relationship really means opening your soul to someone but if they don't reciprocate it's a no go.

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By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton

No I just come on here to find some good sex but alas I have nobody to help me

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend


"..enough to end a relationship?

"

No sex at all definitely is

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

In my case the fact that my ex had no interest in sex and on the odd occasion it happened it was shit. I think that was an indicator of how little she cared about the relationship. That's what broke up the relationship and the shit sex was an outworking of that. Luke

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shit sex no, non existent sex yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is if u put up with it for 10 years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing a wand or fleshlight can’t solve eh?

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

If there is an unwillingness to learn combined with an unwillingness to teach then. YES

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By *RANDMRSJAECouple
over a year ago

chester

It would depend why they sex was shit!

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Depends why it’s bad. Some people have had only bad and limited experiences they don't know any different but are open to learning and being healed. Some people just struggle to be anatomically compatible. Others are very experienced and everything fits , but are clueless or have no interest in changing.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

It's not them, it's you

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

If both are willing to try to make improvements ,then not necessarily.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

If it was good then got shit then yes.

Sex is very important to me in a relationship. For me the intimacy between me and a partner shows how much we love and want each other.

I've also had relationships where the sex has dried up or gone stale (not through want of trying on my part) and they've looked elsewhere so for me it's an early indication that they're cheating so I'd rather jump first.

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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

Think it's indicative of a lack of interest and communication .. So if someone is unwilling to talk, let alone try it'll always be an issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're shallow, yes.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"If you're shallow, yes."

Why does it make someone shallow?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you're shallow, yes.

Why does it make someone shallow?"

A relationship is much more than sex. Sex is one factor amongst others so if you end up a relationship because of one factor that according to your perspective is shit, I guess that makes you shallow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It really depends on why it's shit. I'd be more concerned about no intimacy at all. I think that's what kills relationships.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends on why it’s shit as others have said, if the relationship is great then no you can work on the sex

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

Shit sex is enough to end a relationship but a shit relationship is not enough to end sex

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

That’s not an easy question to answer. Depends on the relationship also.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Please ignore my late night d*unken post.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"If you're shallow, yes.

Why does it make someone shallow?

A relationship is much more than sex. Sex is one factor amongst others so if you end up a relationship because of one factor that according to your perspective is shit, I guess that makes you shallow. "

But as stated many times it's often a symptom of something more going wrong in the relationship. Self preservation is not shallow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you're shallow, yes.

Why does it make someone shallow?

A relationship is much more than sex. Sex is one factor amongst others so if you end up a relationship because of one factor that according to your perspective is shit, I guess that makes you shallow.

But as stated many times it's often a symptom of something more going wrong in the relationship. Self preservation is not shallow. "

Self preservation was not the question.

Based on the question purely it is shallow.

But I agree with you there in the symptoms, therefore the decision is way beyond shit sex.

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By *K herts mMan
over a year ago

Fleetwood

I would say no I went through a spell where my partner totally lost her sex drove and we did not have sex for 6 months. People kept telling me to leave her and we were not swingers at the time either. If you truly love someone then you will find a way to make it work. Try talking to your partner and explain what you like and want and guide during. Obviously just my humble opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"..enough to end a relationship?

"

Yes. What's the point in being with someone if they aren't a good fuck?

If they don't fuck to the required standard or frequency, get rid.

2 weeks of no sex? Bin them and get someone else.

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By *just.meMan
over a year ago

hartlepool


"..enough to end a relationship?

"
shit sex no, no sex yes

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Yes. If you have both tried to improve it and they’re just not getting it then yeah.

I have done. Sex is important to me. I felt if he couldn’t give me good sex I’d want it from elsewhere, and he was too nice a guy for all that. So I ended it.

I have no regrets.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Bad sex takes 2 people.

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham

If sex is a main component of the relationship then yes.

In reverse, is great sex enough to save a relationship?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Takes two to tango

Shit sex no

No sex at all yes

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By *aughtycp1Couple
over a year ago

Leicestershire


"..enough to end a relationship?

I can't answer that but I do know a lack of communication and a failure to express the sentiment to your partner is.

If you can't talk to them to try and improve things then maybe it's not the relationship you want

"

EXACTLY THIS

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

And this site is full of people on here without their partners knowledge. Probably in the majority of cases (not all!) because they are not getting the kind of sex they want at home, so they look to supplement it from elsewhere.

So I’d say sex is pretty important to most people. Whether they want to admit that to themselves is another matter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yh I’d say so. Most cause of splits I’d say. Passionless sex with no intimacy or lust for one another is dull and soul destroying. Most peoples heads turn xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I don’t think so… after all it could be you…

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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago

Nottingham


"And this site is full of people on here without their partners knowledge. Probably in the majority of cases (not all!) because they are not getting the kind of sex they want at home, so they look to supplement it from elsewhere.

So I’d say sex is pretty important to most people. Whether they want to admit that to themselves is another matter.

"

Exactly LL.

I've been chatting to a guy for years who is extremely happy in his marriage in every way except the sex. There's not enough and she's not remotely willing to explore kinkier interests. He's tried talking and introducing new stuff. He's now looking to cheat and has spent so many years weighing up the pros and cons. I can't imagine feeling like that. Loving your long term partner but just needing more sexually.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

For those that said no, I wonder, genuinely, how long they would participate in passionless, cold sex, with someone who clearly isn't present in the moment...

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By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

Like a lot of people said, it depends why it’s bad.

If they have little to no interest but they’re open to ENM then I wouldn’t leave a healthy relationship where a lot of my needs are met. If they’re not open to it then I am not sure I could compromise.

If it was bad because they’re lacking experience but willing to keep at it until it’s right then there’s no issue. It will click eventually

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. If the sex was that bad and they weren’t willing to try new things to make it better then I would leave.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

For me it hasn't been.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

For some it means the other person is doing it from duty, and they aren't attracted to you anymore.

They may even despise you and are having an affair.

Better to end it than be a just to keep you sweet fuck.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"For those that said no, I wonder, genuinely, how long they would participate in passionless, cold sex, with someone who clearly isn't present in the moment...

"

That's a different question though. The bad sex for me wasn't cold and pasionless. Just often painful and not very pleasurable. We were together for a year so it wasn't a huge amount of time. I'm not sure if it would have eventually started to get to me if we stayed together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never get into a relationship if sex is more important than loving another human being.

Fuck around instead.

If you have issues where you can't have sex anymore, you are literally worthless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And this site is full of people on here without their partners knowledge. Probably in the majority of cases (not all!) because they are not getting the kind of sex they want at home, so they look to supplement it from elsewhere.

So I’d say sex is pretty important to most people. Whether they want to admit that to themselves is another matter.

Exactly LL.

I've been chatting to a guy for years who is extremely happy in his marriage in every way except the sex. There's not enough and she's not remotely willing to explore kinkier interests. He's tried talking and introducing new stuff. He's now looking to cheat and has spent so many years weighing up the pros and cons. I can't imagine feeling like that. Loving your long term partner but just needing more sexually. "

If he is willing to cheat then he does not love his wife and should do the decent thing. If getting a shag is more important than the life you build together then he really does not love her and only thinks of sex. How truely sad for the unawhere wife.

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By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

No excuse for cheating ever.

To the original question it depends. A one off not great experience not the end of the world but if there’s no compatibility no effort on the part of one partner? You’re flogging a dead horse.

The difference between a relationship and a friendship is sex ultimately plus I also believe that a lack of effort there is indicative that they’re not as invested in the relationship anyway so cut your losses

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London


"And this site is full of people on here without their partners knowledge. Probably in the majority of cases (not all!) because they are not getting the kind of sex they want at home, so they look to supplement it from elsewhere.

So I’d say sex is pretty important to most people. Whether they want to admit that to themselves is another matter.

Exactly LL.

I've been chatting to a guy for years who is extremely happy in his marriage in every way except the sex. There's not enough and she's not remotely willing to explore kinkier interests. He's tried talking and introducing new stuff. He's now looking to cheat and has spent so many years weighing up the pros and cons. I can't imagine feeling like that. Loving your long term partner but just needing more sexually.

If he is willing to cheat then he does not love his wife and should do the decent thing. If getting a shag is more important than the life you build together then he really does not love her and only thinks of sex. How truely sad for the unawhere wife."

I'll disagree with that.

I believe you can love someone and have sex with other people.

We're discussing this on a swinging site.

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

The problem could be a lack of communication or exploration.

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By *weetiepie99Woman
over a year ago

cardiff

But as someone earlier up on the thread said, shit sex is not down to one person but two. Take a look at yourself also, not blame the other person

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By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow


"And this site is full of people on here without their partners knowledge. Probably in the majority of cases (not all!) because they are not getting the kind of sex they want at home, so they look to supplement it from elsewhere.

So I’d say sex is pretty important to most people. Whether they want to admit that to themselves is another matter.

Exactly LL.

I've been chatting to a guy for years who is extremely happy in his marriage in every way except the sex. There's not enough and she's not remotely willing to explore kinkier interests. He's tried talking and introducing new stuff. He's now looking to cheat and has spent so many years weighing up the pros and cons. I can't imagine feeling like that. Loving your long term partner but just needing more sexually.

If he is willing to cheat then he does not love his wife and should do the decent thing. If getting a shag is more important than the life you build together then he really does not love her and only thinks of sex. How truely sad for the unawhere wife.

I'll disagree with that.

I believe you can love someone and have sex with other people.

We're discussing this on a swinging site."

Swinging and cheating are not the same thing

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By *oeofsussexMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne

I’m so engrossed in this thread I’ve burnt me crumpets! Damn!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I left my husband after 20 yrs as I felt unfulfilled, if I’d still been in love with him though I’d of stayed. "

Ditto

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

If it's only anal then yes

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea


"And this site is full of people on here without their partners knowledge. Probably in the majority of cases (not all!) because they are not getting the kind of sex they want at home, so they look to supplement it from elsewhere.

So I’d say sex is pretty important to most people. Whether they want to admit that to themselves is another matter.

Exactly LL.

I've been chatting to a guy for years who is extremely happy in his marriage in every way except the sex. There's not enough and she's not remotely willing to explore kinkier interests. He's tried talking and introducing new stuff. He's now looking to cheat and has spent so many years weighing up the pros and cons. I can't imagine feeling like that. Loving your long term partner but just needing more sexually.

If he is willing to cheat then he does not love his wife and should do the decent thing. If getting a shag is more important than the life you build together then he really does not love her and only thinks of sex. How truely sad for the unawhere wife.

I'll disagree with that.

I believe you can love someone and have sex with other people.

We're discussing this on a swinging site.

Swinging and cheating are not the same thing "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And this site is full of people on here without their partners knowledge. Probably in the majority of cases (not all!) because they are not getting the kind of sex they want at home, so they look to supplement it from elsewhere.

So I’d say sex is pretty important to most people. Whether they want to admit that to themselves is another matter.

Exactly LL.

I've been chatting to a guy for years who is extremely happy in his marriage in every way except the sex. There's not enough and she's not remotely willing to explore kinkier interests. He's tried talking and introducing new stuff. He's now looking to cheat and has spent so many years weighing up the pros and cons. I can't imagine feeling like that. Loving your long term partner but just needing more sexually.

If he is willing to cheat then he does not love his wife and should do the decent thing. If getting a shag is more important than the life you build together then he really does not love her and only thinks of sex. How truely sad for the unawhere wife.

I'll disagree with that.

I believe you can love someone and have sex with other people.

We're discussing this on a swinging site.

Swinging and cheating are not the same thing "

I think 'cheating' is a trigger for so many who have been on either side of the equation, and one where only those in each individual set of circumstances can judge.

Personally, I chose celebacy followed by divorce when my marriage died.

There are no two situations the same and it's an easy out to say that it's black and white.

Are there serial cheaters who have no love or respect for their partner? Yes

Are there cheaters who dearly love their partners, persisted and tried other avenues and have reluctantly dipped a toe outside of their vows? Yes

I could go on with a dozen more scenarios.

I make choices within my own moral compass, I walk my own path, and I will only engage with someone who is attached if their partner is on here or I can verify that they are aware.

A relationship will survive many challenges, bad sex and no sex included, if there are other intimacies like emotional or affection, and respect, and other connections to secure that bond. Two isolated people occupying a shared space is not a relationship..... that's got an expiration date for sure.

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By *o scandalousWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Yes.

Dated someone very briefly with a chode, and a small one at that. Imagine a button mushroom, when hard. Nothing to work with.

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By *tylebender03Man
over a year ago

Manchester

No it’s a two way dance - if it’s shit part of the blame is on yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/08/22 17:58:43]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For those that said no, I wonder, genuinely, how long they would participate in passionless, cold sex, with someone who clearly isn't present in the moment...

"

19 years...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shit sex is generally a symptom of a deeper problem!

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By *eiaorganaWoman
over a year ago

Dundee


"Another important factor in a relationship is , how would you feel if they fell ill and had a colostomy bag fitted? Would you still love them and want to be with them or if they ended up in a wheelchair ? And what if any of that happened to you would you of the opinion , " that's fair enough that they leave me" or would you be devestated ?"

I'm a bit confused by this comment as many people in these situations have active sex lives.

Shit sex is not the end of a relationship, but lack of communication and intimacy would be. Some men who are impotent will satisfy their partners with toys and foreplay, or for them to have a buddy to fulfil those needs, if that's what works for them.

Love and sex are two separate things, if love goes then that is the end.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex is about learning and playing out each other’s fantasies after talking about them together.

But there’s the other side to the relationship too

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By *enuine MikeMan
over a year ago

Guildford

WOW! Really!

So are people really that shallow and that the only reason they are with someone is for the sex.

If sex is the only thing keeping the foundations together in a relationship, then you shouldn't have started that relationship in the first place

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By *il sub princessWoman
over a year ago

West Midlands

If it's making you unhappy then yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I probably wouldn't have got into a relationship if the sex was shit from the beginning. If that makes me shallow so be it.

I just think some people are not sexually compatible. You know when you feel you just fit together and match the same energy. That won't happen with everyone. In my mind it doesn't mean that person is always shit at sex just that we don't have good sex together.

If the sex had been amazing and then got shit, I'd say it was down to some issue in the relationship and if I loved them I'd try to fix that issue rather than leave cause the sex wasn't how it used to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes.

Dated someone very briefly with a chode, and a small one at that. Imagine a button mushroom, when hard. Nothing to work with."

What a very shallow women. Judging a guy by the size of his cock. He cant help how big it is.

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By *ndiiiMan
over a year ago

Paisley Scotland

No you can learn to adapt and find other ways of enjoyment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is why I'm single. "

Cause you're shit at sex?

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By *o scandalousWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Yes.

Dated someone very briefly with a chode, and a small one at that. Imagine a button mushroom, when hard. Nothing to work with.

What a very shallow women. Judging a guy by the size of his cock. He cant help how big it is. "

Indeed he couldn’t. But I couldn’t help that it didn’t work for me.

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