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"bits. What other essentials do you need for a fuckathon? Do you have the cranberry juice waiting in the fridge? Do you ever get vagtigued/cockhausted or are you a keep going all week long sort of person? *asking for a friend. Obvs." Just add whiskey or rum or just alcohol really and it's all weekend YAY   | |||
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"I can’t last more than 10 mins, Meli. So maybe an egg timer? "* hard-boiled, obvs  | |||
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"bits. What other essentials do you need for a fuckathon? Do you have the cranberry juice waiting in the fridge? Do you ever get vagtigued/cockhausted or are you a keep going all week long sort of person? *asking for a friend. Obvs." Lots of cake and biscuits lots of tea coffee Obviously a willing woman At my age as well breaks essential lol | |||
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"I can’t last more than 10 mins, Meli. So maybe an egg timer?
* hard-boiled, obvs " It's okay Dan, I still would. Want some boobs to cheer you up? | |||
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If shes lucky I have washed behind my ears. If not, thats her first job | |||
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K | |||
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"bits. What other essentials do you need for a fuckathon? Do you have the cranberry juice waiting in the fridge? Do you ever get vagtigued/cockhausted or are you a keep going all week long sort of person? *asking for a friend. Obvs." Christ no. Usually once does me fine and then i just want to shower up and get on with my day or go to sleep, depending on the time of the event | |||
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"Sometimes sex certainly does leave you a bit sore down there "That’s why you need to co-opt a willing friend to apply vag balm & give you hair strokes! | |||
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"Sometimes sex certainly does leave you a bit sore down there "Bathe straight away and drink lots of water. They're very delicate, our flowers. | |||
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"Sometimes sex certainly does leave you a bit sore down there
That’s why you need to co-opt a willing friend to apply vag balm & give you hair strokes!"Dear Virgin... (oh how I laughed typing this) 
Where would one purchase said vag balm? A mutual friend has asked. | |||
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"Sometimes sex certainly does leave you a bit sore down there
Bathe straight away and drink lots of water.
They're very delicate, our flowers."It's not UTI related. It's friction | |||
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"Sometimes sex certainly does leave you a bit sore down there
Bathe straight away and drink lots of water.
They're very delicate, our flowers.
It's not UTI related. It's friction "User too intense  | |||
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"Sometimes sex certainly does leave you a bit sore down there
Bathe straight away and drink lots of water.
They're very delicate, our flowers.
It's not UTI related. It's friction
User too intense "Guilty  | |||
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"A B12 injection..." Does that actually work/help? I'm now genuinely curious and no longer viewing this as a pastiche. | |||
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"I can’t last more than 10 mins, Meli. So maybe an egg timer?
* hard-boiled, obvs
It's okay Dan, I still would. Want some boobs to cheer you up? "Purrrrrlease!!  | |||
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"Sometimes sex certainly does leave you a bit sore down there
Bathe straight away and drink lots of water.
They're very delicate, our flowers.
It's not UTI related. It's friction "Sore flaps? Salt bath for those
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"A cool flannel to rest on the bits works wonders to lessen the swelling, so I've been told. Also someone to sing soothing lullabies whilst softly strumming a ukulele. " Nell does this mean the phonetox is complete? It must be. I'm doing 24 hours soon. Pray for me. And my work inbox. Does Whooey play the ukulele? I could get on board with this strumming and gentle lullabies shtick. | |||
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"Sometimes sex certainly does leave you a bit sore down there
That’s why you need to co-opt a willing friend to apply vag balm & give you hair strokes!
Dear Virgin... (oh how I laughed typing this)
Where would one purchase said vag balm? A mutual friend has asked."Well if it was an in the bath scenario you can’t go wrong with a bit of emusiflying ointment bp(on a side note works well for for lubing up for anal douching) … in the bedroom scenario possibly a very nice and gentle water based lube for sensitive skin… nothing scented… that could cause a chemical burn! | |||
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K | |||
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"I'm of an age I take the painkillers before sex. Afterwards a nice cup of tea and a shower will do. " Yep, extra tramadol and some ibuprofen! | |||
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"Chocolate to get the energy to go again! Then I play your voice notes and I’m ready to go again…I need some fresh material
K"K you smooth fucker. Fresh material will be with you within 24 hours. Promise. It's better than chocolate isn't it? | |||
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"A B12 injection... Does that actually work/help? I'm now genuinely curious and no longer viewing this as a pastiche." You need to do them regularly, and you need to make sure your folate is optimal. | |||
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"I've never done a fuckathon...is it any good?
K"Oh K, why don't we try it some time? I can show you just how good it can be. 
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"Sometimes sex certainly does leave you a bit sore down there
That’s why you need to co-opt a willing friend to apply vag balm & give you hair strokes!
Dear Virgin... (oh how I laughed typing this)
Where would one purchase said vag balm? A mutual friend has asked.
Well if it was an in the bath scenario you can’t go wrong with a bit of emusiflying ointment bp(on a side note works well for for lubing up for anal douching) … in the bedroom scenario possibly a very nice and gentle water based lube for sensitive skin… nothing scented… that could cause a chemical burn! "The side note! The side note though.
If that ever, ever happens, I promise to send you a photo. Unlikely. You never know.
I hope if you ever one day happen to have a fuckathon there's someone nice and charming in a Hugh Grantesque way ready to liberally apply that ointment for you. | |||
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"I've never done a fuckathon...is it any good?
K
Oh K, why don't we try it some time? I can show you just how good it can be.
"Just tell me where and when and I will be there
K | |||
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"Sometimes sex certainly does leave you a bit sore down there
That’s why you need to co-opt a willing friend to apply vag balm & give you hair strokes!
Dear Virgin... (oh how I laughed typing this)
Where would one purchase said vag balm? A mutual friend has asked.
Well if it was an in the bath scenario you can’t go wrong with a bit of emusiflying ointment bp(on a side note works well for for lubing up for anal douching) … in the bedroom scenario possibly a very nice and gentle water based lube for sensitive skin… nothing scented… that could cause a chemical burn!
The side note!
The side note though.
If that ever, ever happens, I promise to send you a photo. Unlikely. You never know.
I hope if you ever one day happen to have a fuckathon there's someone nice and charming in a Hugh Grantesque way ready to liberally apply that ointment for you. "Oh Meli if I ever get a Hugh Grantesque style application of post fuckathon vag soothing I will die happy! That side note is a top top tip!! | |||
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"I've never done a fuckathon...is it any good?
K
Oh K, why don't we try it some time? I can show you just how good it can be.
Just tell me where and when and I will be there
K"Can I join please? | |||
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"I've never done a fuckathon...is it any good?
K
Oh K, why don't we try it some time? I can show you just how good it can be.
Just tell me where and when and I will be there
K
Can I join please? "The more the merrier
K | |||
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"A cool flannel to rest on the bits works wonders to lessen the swelling, so I've been told. Also someone to sing soothing lullabies whilst softly strumming a ukulele. Nell does this mean the phonetox is complete? It must be. I'm doing 24 hours soon. Pray for me. And my work inbox. Does Whooey play the ukulele? I could get on board with this strumming and gentle lullabies shtick." Ummmm, no. I'm doing a week long phonetox. Badly | |||
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"You need to treat your fufu like you’d treat a horse after a very long ride. Whisper soothing words to it, give it a good firm brushing and pop in a sugar lump "Wise words Adam, got to keep it sweet. | |||
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"I've never done a fuckathon...is it any good?
K
Oh K, why don't we try it some time? I can show you just how good it can be.
Just tell me where and when and I will be there
K
Can I join please?
The more the merrier
K"Mutual hair and vag stroking afterwards? | |||
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"You need to treat your fufu like you’d treat a horse after a very long ride. Whisper soothing words to it, give it a good firm brushing and pop in a sugar lump "A lump of sugar!! That’s just thrush waiting to happen!!! | |||
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"You need to treat your fufu like you’d treat a horse after a very long ride. Whisper soothing words to it, give it a good firm brushing and pop in a sugar lump
A lump of sugar!! That’s just thrush waiting to happen!!! "Time to come clean - I’m not a doctor. Nor a vet  | |||
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"I've never done a fuckathon...is it any good?
K
Oh K, why don't we try it some time? I can show you just how good it can be.
Just tell me where and when and I will be there
K
Can I join please?
The more the merrier
K
Mutual hair and vag stroking afterwards?"This sounds like the perfect fuckathon ending, sign me up. | |||
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"Fizzy drinks if it's a long session. And those big nighttime pads to absorb all the fluid from my overfilled vagina. " No, don't use the pads. That's crazy talk. Stick a couple of pillows on your bum so it's still there for the morning trickling down as you go about your business. | |||
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"You need to treat your fufu like you’d treat a horse after a very long ride. Whisper soothing words to it, give it a good firm brushing and pop in a sugar lump
A lump of sugar!! That’s just thrush waiting to happen!!!
Time to come clean - I’m not a doctor.
Nor a vet "As a non dr or vet I would advise that the the lump of sugar is best delivered via a hot cup of tea! | |||
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"Fizzy drinks if it's a long session. And those big nighttime pads to absorb all the fluid from my overfilled vagina. No, don't use the pads. That's crazy talk. Stick a couple of pillows on your bum so it's still there for the morning trickling down as you go about your business." You filthy mare | |||
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"I've never done a fuckathon...is it any good?
K
Oh K, why don't we try it some time? I can show you just how good it can be.
Just tell me where and when and I will be there
K
Can I join please?
The more the merrier
K
Mutual hair and vag stroking afterwards?
This sounds like the perfect fuckathon ending, sign me up. "I thought you are the organiser
K | |||
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"Fizzy drinks if it's a long session. And those big nighttime pads to absorb all the fluid from my overfilled vagina. No, don't use the pads. That's crazy talk. Stick a couple of pillows on your bum so it's still there for the morning trickling down as you go about your business. You filthy mare " So proud of myself.
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"Fizzy drinks if it's a long session. And those big nighttime pads to absorb all the fluid from my overfilled vagina. No, don't use the pads. That's crazy talk. Stick a couple of pillows on your bum so it's still there for the morning trickling down as you go about your business. You filthy mare "She's a very filthy woman! I'll try the pillows. Maybe the smell of cummy vagina will help me sleep the next day. | |||
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"Fizzy drinks if it's a long session. And those big nighttime pads to absorb all the fluid from my overfilled vagina. No, don't use the pads. That's crazy talk. Stick a couple of pillows on your bum so it's still there for the morning trickling down as you go about your business. You filthy mare
So proud of myself.
"So you should be!!!  | |||
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"I've never done a fuckathon...is it any good?
K
Oh K, why don't we try it some time? I can show you just how good it can be.
Just tell me where and when and I will be there
K
Can I join please?
The more the merrier
K
Mutual hair and vag stroking afterwards?
This sounds like the perfect fuckathon ending, sign me up.
I thought you are the organiser
K"It’s a group effort surely? | |||
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